Authors: V J Chambers
Trembling (15 page)
* * *
Now that I was looking at Jude, I didn't understand
why I didn't see it before. Sure, Jude had bright purple hair and multiple
piercings. Sure, he was wearing heavy eyeliner. All of that made him look
different. Exotic. But his skin was the same shade as Jason's
—
dusky light brown. His face was the
same shape as Jason's
—
heart-shaped.
His eyes were like Jason's too. Big and dark. They looked alike. A lot alike.
They were brothers. But before, I'd never made the connection, not even when
Jude told me he was a quarter Native American. Like Jason. I was such an idiot.
How had I trusted him?
Lilith and I were sitting in the back of the minivan. We were still tied up. We
were parked on the side of a country road. The back hatch of the minivan was
open, and Jude, Noah, and Gordon were peering in at us. Well, Noah and Gordon
were looking at us. Jude was pacing back and forth behind the open hatch,
swearing and running his hands through his hair. Noah and Gordon had long since
given up trying to calm him down.
"Maybe we could go to a hotel," said Noah thoughtfully, gazing at
Lilith and me.
"How are we going to get the two tied-up girls inside without attracting
attention?" Gordon asked.
"Good point," said Noah.
"You should just let us go," I said. "You know that Jason isn't
going to give up trying to find me. And it's a lost cause to try to get me to
kill him. I never will."
"If we wanted your input, Zaza, we'd ask for it," said Noah.
"Well, at least let Lilith go," I said. "She doesn't have
anything to do with this."
"Are you kidding?" asked Gordon. "She knows who Noah and I are.
She'd run to the police right away."
"I wouldn't," said Lilith.
I glared at Lilith. For some reason, it pissed me off that she was so eager to
say she wouldn't try to save us if they let her go. "When Jason finds you,
the police are going to be the least of your problems," I said.
Noah rolled his eyes. "The way I figure it, this Jason guy cannot be as
big of a deal as you say he is."
"I don't know, Noah," said Gordon. "He did bust Azazel out of
Bramford in front of the entire coven. He shot two of the members in the leg,
including a police officer."
Jude abruptly stopped pacing. He turned to us, his dark eyes intense. "I've
got to go there," he said.
"Go where?" asked Noah.
"To my house," said Jude. "Jason might still be there, waiting
with Mom. Maybe I could stop him, somehow. Save my mother."
"You just said that Jason was a total badass and that we'd never stand a chance
against him," said Noah.
"I'd have the element of surprise," said Jude.
"Wouldn't matter," I said. "Jason doesn't get surprised
easily."
"Shut up, Azazel," said Jude.
I looked from Jude to Lilith. "I sure have some taste in best friends,
don't I?" I muttered.
"Shut up, Azazel," said Gordon.
"I'm game," said Noah. "It beats sitting around here. Let's
go."
"Not all of us," said Jude. "Just me. If Jason sees Azazel, he'd
probably just shoot us all and take her. No, we can't risk getting Azazel captured
by Jason."
"Let's get this straight," I said. "If Jason does get me, he'll
be rescuing me, not capturing me."
Gordon looked at Jude. "Can't you drug her again?" he asked.
I knew I'd been drugged! "Did you drug me that night on the beach, too, Jude?"
I demanded.
Jude ignored me. "I have to go," he said. "She's my
mother."
"What could Jason possibly do to her?" Gordon said.
"I told you, she hates him, and he hates her," said Jude.
"She's his mother," said Noah. "He's got to feel something for
her, doesn't he?"
"She didn't raise him," said Jude.
"But she's his blood," said Gordon. "That's an important tie. If
I ever met my biological parents, I would
—
"
"God, Gordon, not that again," said Noah. "Listen, Jude, why
don't you and I both go? Gordon can stay here with the girls."
"If something happens to me, you two can go on without me," said
Jude. "But we can't risk you too, Noah. I have to go alone."
"So how old are you, really, Jude?" I asked. "You can't be my
age, like you said, can you? Are you and Jason twins?"
"Of course not!" Jude roared. "Don't ever even suggest that
again."
"I don't see why you have to go alone," said Noah. "Wouldn't you
be safer with me along?"
"So, then, you've got to be at least a year younger than us," I said.
"Is Edgar Weem your dad too?"
"I'm going alone," said Jude. He turned to me. "Azazel, I don't
have time for your questions right now. Let's just hope your boyfriend hasn't
done anything to my mother that he's going to regret."
"How are you going to get there?" Noah asked.
"I'm taking the van," said Jude.
"So where are we going to be?" said Gordon.
"Here," said Jude.
"What if someone sees the girls?" said Gordon.
"Hide them," said Jude.
"Jude, I don't think this is a good plan," said Gordon.
"Me either," I said.
Gordon, Jude, and Noah all glared at me.
* * *
Jude was gone for a long time. When he returned, it
was dark outside. Lilith and I were cold, huddled against a tree, still tied
up. Gordon and Noah had led us away from the road, so that we were out of sight
in case a car came by. Not many cars had come by, though. It had been an
uneventful hour or two. Gordon and Noah didn't say much. Lilith was quiet too,
but she had a look of wild terror in her eyes. I felt very, very calm. I wasn't
worried at all.
I thought that was strange. I examined my lack of fear the way a scientist
might examine a specimen. I felt detached from myself. I didn't know whether or
not I should feel afraid. I just knew that feeling afraid wouldn't really do
much of anything for me right now. Feeling afraid would keep me from thinking
rationally. It would make me more likely to make a mistake, should an
opportunity arise to escape. Hell, it would make it more likely that I didn't
notice the opportunity arising. Overall, it made more sense to remain calm. Not
to be afraid. So, I wasn't.
But I remembered the way I'd felt, just months ago, when Jason and I had been
on the run from the Sons. I'd been in constant fear. Terror had gripped me and
hadn't let go the entire time. I wasn't afraid anymore, however. Maybe I was
desensitized to it. I realized that I hadn't felt that kind of crippling fear
in a long time. I hadn't felt it when I'd been grabbed in the parking lot
outside of the gun range. I'd been frightened when Mr. Sutherland was trying to
rape and kill me, but I hadn't been immobilized. I'd been able to act. To save
myself. What had changed?
I remembered that Mr. Sutherland had said, "Maybe you are imbued with the
spirit of a demon," as I'd been running away from him. And I supposed that
Jude or Noah or Gordon had completed the ritual. Was I . . .
But that was stupid.
I didn't believe in Azazel. I didn't believe that I'd been filled with his
essence. No. I was just more sure of myself now. Back then, I hadn't been able
to take care of myself. Now, I was stronger. I was capable.
And I couldn't imagine Noah and Gordon really hurting me. Not really.
Of course, I'd trusted my parents implicitly, and they'd set me up to be raped
by Toby. Clearly, I didn't pick the best people to trust. I was constantly
being betrayed by those I cared about the most and was closest to. I had to
admit that I couldn't be sure exactly what Gordon and Noah were planning to do
to me. And I couldn't be sure what they'd carry out, given the chance.
Now, they stood over Lilith and me, glaring down at us in the darkness, keeping
watch to make sure that we wouldn't leave. Compared to the temperatures I was
used to in
felt downright frigid. I shivered in my short-sleeved shirt.
I was glad when Jude reappeared with the van. He looked dejected and angry,
however. He told Gordon and Noah that neither Jason nor Michaela had been there
when he arrived. Instead, there had been a note from Jason, telling Jude that
he'd meet him at the house the following afternoon. Jude was to bring me. They
would trade. If Jude didn't show up, or didn't bring me, the note said, then
Jason would hurt Michaela.
I shivered again when I heard that, not from the cold, but because I didn't
like the idea of Jason using his mother's well-being as a bargaining chip for
my safety. I didn't think he'd really hurt Michaela. Jason often relied on
other people's impression of him as a dangerous guy. He used it as leverage to
get what he wanted. When we were escaping from
head. He had no intention of shooting me, but he knew that my father wouldn't
stand by and watch me get shot. So, he used that knowledge to get what he
wanted. Jason was threatening Jude in the same way.
But it was different, because Jude was Jason's brother. Somehow, it just rubbed
me the wrong way. I was relieved, however, because I thought that it meant
Lilith and I would be released tomorrow. Jude wouldn't let anything happen to his
mother.
But Jude didn't want to trade. He said that he wouldn't give in to Jason's
demands, ever. It was too important that Jason be destroyed. Gordon and Noah
seemed to agree. I was disappointed.
They decided they couldn't go back to Michaela's house if Jason had it under
surveillance. They didn't want to take the chance that he'd sneak in and get me
out.
They led Lilith and I back to the van, stuffed us in the back, and we drove for
about twenty minutes. When they took us out of the van, we were parked outside
an old house. It was dark and difficult to see, but the house looked like a
rundown, white farmhouse. The wood siding was losing its paint. The windows
were shattered, or missing completely. Vines grew up the sides of the walls. A
sapling was breaking through the creaking wood of its porch. There was nothing
around, except woods. We were all alone out here.
I had to hand it to Jude. This was the perfect place to hide us. Jason would
never know to look for us here. And there was nowhere for me to escape to. It
seemed hopeless. If Jude continued to be stubborn and called Jason's bluff,
then Jason wouldn't have anything to bargain with.
What was I going to do? I had to get away from these guys. And I wasn't alone.
I had Lilith to worry about.
Chapter Eleven
To: Renegade Son
From: Edgar Weem
Subject: Calm down
Hallam,
We both know that it's too dangerous for me to speak to you on the phone. I
thought we'd also agreed that it was in everyone's best interests to keep
Jason's secrets and my secrets.
Please don't threaten me, Hallam. You shouldn't labor under the delusion that
you have power over me. You don't.
I have people on the Jason and Azazel situation. I'm sure we'll be able to
locate them soon.
Edgar
Lilith and I slept on the floor in a room in the
abandoned house. We were still tied up. It was hard to get comfortable. Jude
and my brothers only gave us one blanket, so we huddled against each other for
warmth. They told us that one of them would be watching the door at all times.
There didn't seem much hope of escape.
I didn't feel much like snuggling against Lilith. Even though it had turned out
that she wasn't working for the Satanists, I still couldn't bring myself to
actually like her. I knew that I should feel bad for getting her into this
situation. But mostly I just felt annoyed. It would be much easier for me to
try to escape if I didn't have to worry about Lilith.
It was cold though, so I got close to her for body warmth. We lay in the dark,
listening to the sounds of insects in the woods surrounding the abandoned
house.
"Azazel," whispered Lilith.
"What?" I said.
"Do you think that they're going to make me go back to Bramford?"
Of course she was only worried about herself. What about Jason? What about me?
"I'm going to get us out of this," I said.
"How?" she said.
"I don't know yet," I told her. "But I will. I promise you. And
after that . . ." After that, I wanted her to go away, and I never wanted
to see her again.
"It's okay," she said. "I know I haven't been the greatest best
friend to you."
That was an understatement. I kept my mouth shut.
"I'm sorry," she said. "It's just that girls like you get
everything. You're all sweet and naïve, and guys just eat that shit up. They
fall in love with girls like you. And just because I'm not like that. Well, no
one's ever going to fall in love with me, Zaza. I know it was wrong, but I—I
couldn't handle it. I wanted to . . . ruin it, somehow. Like if I couldn't have
it, I didn't want you to have it, either."
That was the most twisted thing I'd ever heard. "Lilith," I said,
"you're the kind of girl that guys want. They want someone experienced,
with big boobs and curves."
"No," she said. "They don't. They might want to have sex with
me, but they don't really want someone like me. They want someone like you. No
one wants me."
Poor Lilith. I rolled my eyes in the darkness. "I'm sure that someday
you'll find someone," I said. "We're only seventeen. We've got
time."
Lilith shivered under the covers. "I don't think so," she said.
"In Bramford, I met Michaela Weem once. She came to visit after your
parents died. She looked into my eyes, and she said that I would never be
loved. Not even once before I died."
"Forget Michaela Weem," I said. "Seriously, Lilith. You can't
believe that."
When the sun came up, it poured in through the windows, waking me up. Lilith
was still asleep next to me. I lay on my back for a few minutes, surveying my
surroundings. The room we were in was devoid of decoration or furniture, except
for some peeling wallpaper on the walls. The floor was hardwood, splintering
and warped in places. Two unadorned large windows blazed sunlight into the
space.
Windows!
Why hadn't I thought of this last night?
Probably because it had been too dark to even see that the windows existed.
Carefully, I wriggled out from under the blanket. Next to me, Lilith made a
noise in her sleep but didn't wake up. It wasn't easy getting to my feet while
my hands were tied behind my back, but I finally managed it, scooting to the
wall and using it for support. Once standing, I walked over to one of the
windows. The glass in it rippled a little. It was clearly old glass, which was
probably a bad sign. It looked strong.
But I could probably just unlock the window and open it, provided the windows
weren't nailed shut. Then Lilith and I could climb out of the window. We were
on the second story, but it looked like we'd drop onto several springy bushes
that surrounded the house. That should help to cushion our fall. Plus, as near
as I could tell, we weren't up so high that a drop would cause us to break a
limb or anything. I didn't think.
Of course, I realized that my hands were tied behind my back. I couldn't unlock
or open the window without my hands. Breaking the window was pretty much out of
the question too. We didn't have any furniture. Besides, that would be loud,
and someone might hear me doing that, come rushing in, and put an end to my
escape attempt.
As if reading my thoughts, Jude opened the door and strode into the room. I
turned my back to the window, hoping he wouldn't realize I'd been contemplating
an escape route.
"You're awake," he said.
I nodded. "I hope you've come in here to tell me that you've come to your
senses and you're going to trade me for your mother this afternoon."
Jude sneered. "No way," he said. "Jason doesn't tell me what to
do."
Something about the edge to his voice let me know he was serious. He hated
Jason. I could see that now. And to think, all that time in Bramford, Jason had
known that there was something off about Jude, and I'd never noticed. I should
have trusted Jason, but hindsight was twenty-twenty.
"I don't know how he found us, anyway," Jude said. "How could he
have had any idea who took you?"
I shrugged. "Well, Jason's pretty amazing." But Jude was right, now
that I thought about it. How had Jason figured it out so quickly? He'd beaten
us to
that?
Jude glowered at me. "So I hear. Been spending my whole life hearing about
Jason."
I didn't say anything.
"My mother never shut up about him. About her visions. About the
abomination. But I used to wonder why, if he was such an abomination, she spent
so much time talking about him." Jude walked around me and stood at the
window himself. He stared through the glass. "If it weren't for the fact
that everyone else is convinced that you have to kill him, I'd kill him myself.
"He's so self-righteous," Jude continued. "Thinking he can
protect you. That night on the beach, he never knew that I had performed the
ritual and placed the bell in your bag. Dingle's bell. There was a certain
poetry to the way that it represented Azazel and also fit the ritual. It was
just like Azazel to steal something from an authority figure for his own purposes.
Like weapons. Like fire. I thought of that.
Me.
And
I carried it out. And Jason never knew. He was clueless."
"I'll never kill him," I said. "You have to know that. You know
how much I love him."
Jude snorted, still not looking at me. "You two have been arguing a hell
of a lot, though, haven't you? And for all you know, he was screwing
Lilith."
"He was not. There's no way he . . ." Jude was wrong.
Jude turned back from the window. He took my arm and began to lead me out of
the room. "We've got some things to show you, Azazel," he said. He
smiled. "But, just between us, I kind of hope you're right. I hope that
when it comes down to it, you aren't able to kill him after all, because I'd
love to step in and finish the job."
I jerked my arm out of his grasp. "You're no match for Jason," I
said.
He snatched my arm back. "We'll just see about that, won't we?"