Authors: V J Chambers
Trembling (8 page)
you
."
"I'm not
jealous
of him!" Jason said. "It's
just that he doesn't look out for you. Look what happened at that party over
the weekend. He can't keep you safe."
"No one can keep me safe," I said. "That's ridiculous. Jude's my
friend. If anything, being around me makes it less safe for him, not the other
way around."
"You spend an awful lot of time with him," Jason said.
"Because he's my best friend," I said.
"When I knew you in Bramford, you didn't spend nearly as much time with
Lilith as you do with Jude now, and Lilith was your best friend."
"Sure I did," I said. "I hung out with Lilith all the time. And
we talked on the phone like crazy!"
"No," he said. "You didn't. You spent a lot of time with Toby,
but not with Lilith."
"Who's telling you this?" I asked. "Lilith?"
"It's my own observation," he said. "Which she happens to agree
with."
"Why are you two constantly talking about me behind my back?" I
demanded.
"We're just talking."
"You know who it seems like you're spending a lot of time with?" I
said. "Lilith. You and Lilith are really pretty friendly lately."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Jason asked.
"Well, it's not like she wasn't sleeping with my last boyfriend," I
said. "How am I supposed to trust her?"
Jason's face twisted in disbelief. "What?" He took a step back. Ran
his hand through his hair. "You're supposed to trust
me
,"
he said.
"I do," I said.
"So then why would you even say that?" Jason asked.
I was fuming inside. I clenched and unclenched my fingers. I looked away from
Jason, at my bedroom wall. "She's not like me," I said. "She's
all curvy and sexy and experienced. And you're always around her. And you're
always taking her side, not mine. And I just think that she can be very
manipulative."
"I can't believe you would think that about me," said Jason. "I
would never . . ." He trailed off. "Look at me," he said.
I didn't.
Jason advanced on me. He snatched my chin between his thumb and forefinger and
forced me to look at his face. His eyes were just a few inches from my own.
They blazed at me, smoldering. I could feel his breath on my cheeks. "If
you think that I would ever
—
that
I
could
ever
—
do
anything like that to you, or that I would ever want anyone but you, then you
don't have any idea who I am."
He dropped my chin. Gave me one last fiery look, his eyes burning into mine.
Then he left my bedroom.
I stood there for a second, too stunned to process what had just happened. Then
I closed the door. Leaned against it, the back of my head thudding against its
hardness. And I started to cry.
Chapter Six
To: Edgar Weem
From: Renegade Son
Subject: Questions
Edgar,
Someone tried to snatch Azazel last night. That doesn't have anything to do
with the Sons or you, does it? And you don't have any ties to a Liam
Sutherland, do you? I'm willing to cooperate with you, but you need to be
straight with me.
Hallam
Even though it was late, I couldn't sleep. I sat in my
room with the door shut, picking at my bedspread. I felt so alone. I toyed with
my phone, searching through the contact numbers. There weren't many names
there. Jude. Jason. Hallam. Some people from work. I didn't know many of them
well. I certainly couldn't call anyone for comfort. As I scrolled through them,
I settled on my younger brother Chance's name. Chance lived in
Hoyt. I hadn't talked to him since Christmas, when he'd come to visit us in
couldn't tell Chance what was happening to me here. I didn't want to worry him
or endanger him. But suddenly, a longing welled up inside me to talk to someone
who I'd grown up with. Someone who I'd known before all this mess had started.
My brother.
I hit send on my phone, holding it to my ear as it rang. It was late. He was
probably asleep.
But Chance answered. "Zaza!" he greeted cheerily.
Geez. For the first time in months, the nickname didn't make my stomach turn
over. "Hey Chance," I said, grinning from ear to ear. "Sorry I'm
calling so late."
"It's no big deal," he said. "I'm up."
"So how are you, little brother?"
"Excellent," he said. "I'm going to
"What?" I said.
"Yeah," he affirmed. "I'm going to a boarding school in
really rich American kids. It's going to be a blast."
"Whoa," I said. "When were you going to tell me this?"
"I was going to call you," he said. "Soon. I totally was. I have
tons of crap to tell you. And Jason. Hey, is Jason there? I wanted to ask him
if he got the new game for X-box."
"Um ," I said, "Jason and I are kind of fighting."
"Oh," said Chance. "So that's why you're calling me."
"Sort of," I admitted, fighting tears.
"Hey," said Chance, his voice full of concern, "it'll be okay.
You two are awesome together. He really cares about you."
"Yeah," I said, trying to pull myself together. "So why are you
going to
"Well," said Chance, "I asked Grandma about it months ago,
because my friend Palomino got shipped off at the beginning of the
semester."
"Oh, right, your
friend
, Palomino," I said
knowingly.
"She's not my girlfriend!" Chance said. "Anyway, she's been in
months. I barely get to talk to her except online."
"Sure, Chance. Whatever you say."
"She's not!" he said. "Anyway, Grandma said no. She said she
wanted me close. But then, right after Noah and Gordon left a few weeks ago
—
"
"Wait," I said. "Noah and Gordon were there?" Noah and
Gordon were my adopted brothers. No one had heard from them since November.
They hadn't even come to my parents' funeral service.
"Oh, I forgot to call and tell you that," said Chance.
"Sorry."
"Where have they been?" I said.
"I don't know," said Chance. "They didn't stay long. They just
came by one day. They talked to Grandma Hoyt for hours in her office. Then we
all went out to dinner. The next morning they were gone. And right after that,
Grandma Hoyt said that it would probably be best if I went to Italy."
"So you'll get to go to school with Palomina, then," I said.
"That's cool."
"I know, right?" I could tell he was smiling on the other end.
"That's weird about Noah and Gordon, though," I said. "I haven't
heard from them at all."
"Really?" said Chance. "Because they told me they were planning
to visit you."
* * *
I called Jude when I woke up and asked him if he could
give me a ride to school. The thought of facing Jason and walking to school
with him was simply too much. I'd cried myself to sleep the night before. I
felt guilty for practically accusing Jason of sleeping with Lilith. And I
couldn't shake the look in his eyes when he'd left my room. He was right. There
was no way that he could possibly be unfaithful to me. It wasn't like Jason. I
was probably temporarily insane. But it didn't help that Lilith was always
around.
I got ready as quickly as I could. Jason and I crossed each other when he was
getting ready to take his shower, and I was leaving the bathroom. I looked down
at the floor and not at his face. He didn't say anything to me. I didn't say
anything to him either.
When Jude knocked on the door, I gathered my book bag and purse and went to
meet him. Jude grinned at me as I slid out of the apartment.
"How come you're not walking to school with Jason?" he asked.
I sighed. "He came home late last night. Drunk. He was out with
Lilith."
"Oh," said Jude, looking sympathetic. "I'm sorry."
I shrugged.
We started for his car. "So," Jude asked as we walked, "did you
call the police?"
Right. Jude had been with me when I'd been attacked. Dammit. Being around him
was probably a bad idea. "Hallam thinks that someone might have tried to
kidnap me to collect ransom from my grandmother," I told Jude.
"No way," said Jude. "The rich one in
As if I had another grandmother. My dad's parents had both died before I was
born. I nodded. "Hallam's going to contact her and see if she wants to
involve the police." This wasn't true at all. As far as I knew, no one was
going to contact my grandmother.
I didn't really think that the person who'd snatched me was trying to get money
from my grandmother. I didn't know what I thought anymore. I wasn't completely
convinced that it was the Sons, exactly. But they seemed like the best option.
Still, I did need to be careful. I scanned our parking lot quickly, looking for
any suspicious figures or cars.
Not seeing anything, I got into Jude's car. We backed out of the parking lot
and pulled onto the road.
"You aren't worried about it, then?" asked Jude.
I sighed. "I guess I should be," I said. "But all I can think
about is Jason and Lilith."
Jude laughed. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I mean, being carried off
like that was probably pretty traumatic. You'd want to focus on something
else."
"Maybe that's it," I said. But it was odd. I hadn't found the
experience traumatic at all. Maybe it was because so many other much more
horrible things had happened to me. Or maybe it was because I'd been able to
get out of the situation all by myself.
"It was cool how you just punched that guy in the face, and he dropped
you," said Jude. "I didn't know you could punch so hard."
"Neither did I," I said.
"Really? So you think it was like adrenaline or something? Like when
people lift cars?"
That was an interesting theory. "Maybe?" I said.
"How did you feel?" Jude asked.
"I don't know. Um, calm," I said. "Weirdly enough, I felt really
calm."
"That's awesome. It's probably why you were able to deal so well with the
situation."
"Yeah, but it's strange, isn't it?"
Jude shrugged. "Maybe you're just growing as a person," he said.
"You're stronger now. You and Jason are arguing a lot. Maybe you're
growing out of him."
"No way!" I said. "I'm never going to grow out of Jason! He's
everything to me."
"And if he were sleeping with Lilith?"
"He isn't."
"Maybe not yet. But what if he does?"
I shook my head. "It won't happen."
"What if Jason had done something horrible?" Jude asked. "What
if . . . I don't know, he killed someone or something?"
Ha. Jude didn't know it, but I'd already witnessed Jason kill five members of
the Sons, saving my life. "That wouldn't make any difference," I
said. "None of it would."
"So even if he cheated on you, you'd forgive him?"
I considered. When I'd found out Toby had been cheating on me, all of my
feelings for him had shriveled up. I'd felt nothing for him except disgust.
There hadn't been any way I could have forgiven Toby. But if I found out that
Jason had slept with Lilith, would he disgust me? No, I realized, he wouldn't.
He'd still be Jason. It would hurt. I'd be devastated. But there would be
nothing more devastating than losing Jason completely. "I think I
would," I said.
"Wow," said Jude. "You really like him."
"I love him," I said. "More than anything else on earth."
Jude pulled the car into the parking lot at school and parked. We both got out
and began walking toward the building. "So why do you think you two are
having problems lately?" he asked me.
"I don't know," I said. Why were Jason and I arguing so much? We
never argued much in the past. How had it started? I thought back to the
beginning of the week. Lilith. The bell. Jude. At some point, Jason and I had
stopped trusting each other. Jason didn't believe me when I said we were in
danger. Jason didn't take my side when I didn't want to let Lilith stay with
us. Jason didn't like Jude. It seemed like everything was spiraling out of my
control. I didn't know how to make anything better. "If he'd just listen
to me," I said. "If he'd just believe me, maybe . . ."
"He doesn't listen to you?"
"He was mad at me because I didn't call him last night when I went to the
shooting range."
"But he was at work."
"I know," I said. "And he said that I was angry with him because
he wasn't there to protect me. But I wasn't. I took care of myself just fine,
without him. I didn't need his help. But he wouldn't listen."
"He gets angry a lot," said Jude.
Did he?
"He's always beating people up. I don't want you to take this the wrong
way, Azazel, because I know you really care about him, but are you sure he's,
well, good for you?"
I glared at Jude as we entered the school building. "Of course I am."
He shrugged. "It's just that he seems kind of scary sometimes." He
paused. "You wanna go to my locker or your locker first?"
"Yours," I said. "And he's not scary. Not to me."
Jude's locker was on the first floor. I watched as he dropped off his book bag
and grabbed his History book. "Never?" asked Jude. "He's never
scared you?"
"No," I said, even though that wasn't strictly true. There was one time,
back in November, in a hotel room . . . But Jason had been really upset then.
And he'd stopped when I asked him to.
We were climbing the stairs to my locker, which was on the second floor.
"Maybe I'm out of line," said Jude.
"Jason is all I have," I said to Jude as we stopped in front of my
locker. I opened it. Stared inside at my books.
"That's not a good reason to date someone," said Jude.
I chewed on my lip. Opened my book bag. Exchanged a few books. "That's not
why I'm dating him."
"Okay," said Jude. "I'm sorry. I won't say anything else. I just
worry about you sometimes. Jason isn't like other guys, you know. He's . . .
intense."
Yeah. Jason was intense. And after I'd met him, my life had gotten really
dangerous, really fast. But that wasn't Jason's fault.
We started down the hall to 1st block. It was an Odd day, so Jude and I were
heading to Mr. Sutherland's class. My heart sank. I really didn't want to see
him again. And I wasn't looking forward to having two more days of detention
with him either. Even if Mr. Sutherland wasn't a member of the Sons—and I
wasn't convinced that he wasn't—he was kind of creepy. I could live a happy,
fulfilled life never seeing him again, ever.
But when we arrived at Mr. Sutherland's classroom, he wasn't there. Instead,
there was a different woman, who'd written her name on the board: Mrs.
Clearing. She introduced herself as Mr. Sutherland's substitute.