Trial of Fire (54 page)

‘Leaving you to make it happen?’

Dusan murmured, ‘I must replace one dream with another. Such a task will take time.’

The Malachi fell silent then, and the quiet spread over all of them. The night was heavy with expectation. Robert, unwilling to move, turned to Andrew standing on his left, finding the boy’s eyes on him, waiting. Then, as though Robert had asked a question, Andrew nodded, so slightly nobody else would have noticed.

And Robert knew that was what he’d been waiting for. ‘Very well.’ He turned back to Dusan. ‘We have a truce between us. All else will be resolved after Nash can no longer plague any of us.’

With a smile on his ugly face, and barely contained relief in his eyes, Dusan said, ‘Good. You will not be disappointed.’

‘I’ll make sure of it,’ Robert added easily. He waited as the Malachi drew back, listening as some mounted up on horses he could barely discern on the edge of the shadows. Dusan waited a moment longer, then he too turned and vanished into the darkness. Robert put a hand on Andrew’s shoulder and steered him back towards the farm, hearing Finnlay fall in behind.

But he paused when he reached the lane. ‘Finn, take Andrew back, will you? I want to talk to Micah.’

‘What are you going to say?’ Andrew stood before him, belligerence in his whole body. ‘Are you going to punish him because he wanted to arrange a peace between Malachi and Salti? Are you?’

Robert gave a hard laugh. ‘You think because I told you some of the facts that you understand my relationship with Micah? What I have to say to him is none of your business.’

‘But he was only trying to do the right thing! He married Sairead years ago, and she came to the cottage every now and then. Despite the fact that she knew who I was, she never did a single thing against me, even when she worked out I was Salti. You can’t make Micah pay for that, you can’t!’

With one long stride, Robert stood before the boy, deliberately towering over him, seeing only the mulish cut of his father’s chin, the stubbornness in his eyes. ‘Don’t you
dare
talk to me like that – this is none of your business! Now get to bed!’

Andrew’s eyes widened, his mouth opened, but nothing came out. Then, without another word, he turned and fled, pelting down the lane as though there were a dozen demons at his back.

And weren’t there?

‘Well done, brother,’ Finnlay murmured in the silence. ‘Keep pushing him like that and soon he’ll lose all faith in you. Or is that exactly what you want?’ Finnlay reached out and put a hand on Robert’s shoulder, squeezing to emphasise his words. ‘Now and then, you should try asking what the rest of us think. Goodnight.’

Robert closed his eyes then, tuning out the moonlight and the sparkling lake, the rumbling inside and the shaking in his hands.

He couldn’t ask – because none of them would understand. How could he talk about the demon, the darkness, and all that Andrew needed to be, all that he wasn’t? The need that drove him couldn’t be voiced, nor the determination to succeed.

He waited a moment longer before heading back to the lake and its glistening beach. He found them together, as he’d expected. Micah turned to face him, keeping hold of his wife’s hand. There was fear in Micah’s eyes; that alone was enough to cut Robert in two.

Why had he allowed this to happen between them? Why had Micah not believed in him; not said something about the Malachi girl he’d fallen in love with? All questions he could no longer ask. Whatever wounds Micah had inflicted, he had doubled them in return: it was a tangled web of betrayal no words would mend now.

‘Do you plan to stay with us?’

Micah looked at Sairead before lifting his chin at Robert. ‘Am I not banished?’

‘The question,’ Robert murmured, ‘was directed at your wife.’

Micah’s eyes widened in disbelief, then he glanced again at Sairead before he replied, ‘No. She is returning with her uncle. I don’t want her riding so much in her condit—’

‘I’m not an invalid.’

‘It’s a wise decision,’ Robert said. ‘But if you go, you will not see each
other again until this is all over. I can’t afford anybody close enough to track our path. Not even you.’

‘You’re still threatening me?’

Robert moved closer, noting with some satisfaction that Micah no longer stood defensively. ‘Why do you hate me?’ he asked the girl. ‘I never offered you anything but friendship.’

‘Why do you think?’ she said bitterly. ‘He’s my husband – but year after year, he chose you over me. How could I not hate you?’ With that, she placed her hands either side of Micah’s face and kissed him hard. Then she drew back, her gaze only on him. After a moment, she was gone, leaving Micah staring at the shadows, listening to her ride away.

‘You know, Micah,’ Robert murmured, not wanting to disturb the peace, ‘you should never have done that. You should never have chosen me over her.’

‘I know.’ Micah turned back for the farm with his hands in his pockets. ‘Believe me, I know.’

*

The noise of the market was as welcome to Jenn as the sun shining on her face, and the luxury of being able to enjoy it free from guilt. She walked along lanes of stalls burdened with cloth, vegetables, farm-tools and rugs. She kept away from the butchers; the smell alone was enough to sour the sunny day. Instead, she followed sweeter smells and bought twenty lemon cakes and some rosewater-flavoured jelly cubes she’d never seen before. The men would enjoy them once they were on the road again.

She’d been surprised when Robert had set them all free that morning, though a few minutes with Finnlay had opened her eyes. That Andrew had stood up to Robert was one thing – that Robert had agreed to a truce with the Malachi was news she still couldn’t grasp. The idea that they were willing to give up the Key seemed impossible, and some part of her instantly rejected the concept – most likely the part joined to the Key.

For most of the morning, she’d sat alone, her eyes closed, listening to the shifts in her mind where the Key moved and lived, making sure she could still feel it, even if it wouldn’t – or couldn’t – talk to her any more.

The truth was, the news was worrying and there was no other way to look at it. She’d not been there, and so had missed seeing whatever honesty might have been in Dusan’s eyes – not to mention Sairead’s – but to trust these people at a time like this could possibly ensure their defeat at Nash’s hands.

But an hour wandering through the town, another through the market, had helped clear her head. Besides, Robert had promised her a room in a tavern tonight, a real bed, and some precious time alone. But despite all his
promises, she had declined to spend the day with him and instead, had hooked her arm in Andrew’s and suggested they go into town.

His response had been slow, but his eyes had told her all she needed to know. He needed this break as much as anybody, perhaps more. She also resolved not to talk about anything to do with rebellion or Kenrick, unless Andrew broached the subject first. After the first hour, he seemed to relax a little and even enjoy himself.

But as she walked around the market with the midday sun following overhead, she couldn’t help but look at him wandering along behind her, paying occasional attention to one stall here and another there. For the last few weeks, he had grown more and more removed from her, detached even from Finnlay and Micah. Worse still, she knew that to try to get close to him could quite possibly undo all Robert’s work. She understood too little of what he was doing to chance that. She couldn’t ask Robert directly what he was doing; the peace between them existed solely because she
didn’t
interfere, and she knew that above all else, if there was no peace between her and Robert, their cause was lost.

That didn’t mean her heart didn’t bleed for her boy, the boy who looked to have grown four inches since the winter.

‘Have a lemon cake.’ She waved the cloth-covered bundle under his nose and smiled when he drew in a deep breath.

‘Smells wonderful – though I’d rather wait until we had something more substantial to eat. There was a tavern back in the main street that looked fairly popular. We could get a plate of something there.’

‘Well, you have such an appetite to you now, don’t you?’ She smiled and took his arm again. ‘You’re growing so fast, you’ll be as tall as Finnlay before the end of summer.’

‘You think so?’ He raised his eyebrows but looked away, and the faint breath of awe in his voice was gone. Silently, Jenn mourned the loss of the boy, even as she rejoiced in the arrival of the man. ‘Is that fish I smell?’

She turned to look in the direction he was pointing. ‘Looks like it.’

He grinned at her. ‘You remember the grilled fish at Ayr? Nothing like it. Do you want one?’

‘No, you go ahead. I’ll meet you at the village green.’

He nodded, then gave her cheek a brief but determined kiss. As he hurried through the crowds, she almost wept with the loss. What was happening to her? It was just the same with Robert: as though some part of her soul was waiting to lose them both permanently, as though her soul knew it was inevitable.

The end was close. She could feel it creeping up on them like a shadow, a
tide none of them could stop. Robert felt it too, she could see it in his eyes. And now that she thought about it, perhaps that was the source of Andrew’s quiet. They had weeks, possibly only days. When Kenrick’s army arrived, the waiting would finally be over.

She turned and continued up the lane, pausing to admire a bolt of cloth she would once have purchased without question. It felt soft to her roughened fingers, and reminded her of how much time had passed since she’d last done this. Then she put the cloth down, smiled at the woman selling it, and continued on.

At the end of the lane, she moved to take the next, only to find Micah standing there, a bundle of his own purchases under his arm, a look of expectation in his eyes. He’d been waiting for her.

‘Is something wrong?’

He shook his head, smiling a little. ‘No, but I saw you coming and thought I’d walk with you a bit.’

‘I see.’ Jenn kept her pace slow as he walked beside her, steering her through the busy crowds. ‘How is Sairead?’

‘She’s well. Doesn’t seem to be suffering unduly, though I wish she wouldn’t ride so much. Soon she’ll barely be able to get on a horse and I won’t be comfortable until that day.’

‘You’ll be a good father. You’ve been good with Andrew.’

‘He said as much, himself. In fact,’ Micah peered around them as though looking for something, ‘I actually wanted to talk to you about that. Can we sit for a moment?’

‘Of course.’

He led her through the crowds to the village green where benches were set out on the grass, catered for by the tavern across the road. He waited for her to sit before joining her on the bench. He framed his words carefully, beginning, ‘Andrew has nightmares about you. About something terrible happening to you. I think that’s part of why he’s grown so distant. He’s having the nightmares almost every night now. I had to wake him up last night, just before Sairead arrived. He won’t talk about them, but I know he’s very upset. And on top of everything else—’

‘What?’ Jenn frowned. Why would Andrew be getting such nightmares? She was in absolutely no danger at all – Robert always made sure of that.

‘Well, I think it’s time you told him about his father.’

Jenn froze. ‘What? Why? I thought you said we couldn’t do that now, not when we’ve …’ she struggled for words, only too aware that their conversation could be overheard. ‘You said that was impossible now.’

‘No. I said it was impossible to tell Robert. I think it’s becoming more and more important to Andrew. I think he’s having nightmares about the
night Eachern was killed. I think the events of that night are … weighing heavily on him.’

‘He was so young …’ The night she’d killed Eachern. The night her powers had wrenched out of her, blasting the life from him because it looked like he would kill Robert. Andrew had seen it all – though he’d never spoken about it. ‘Micah, I don’t know. If I tell him … with Robert so …’

Micah looked up, his eyes holding hers, beseeching her. ‘He needs to know, Jenn. What Robert is doing will make more sense to him, will help him take the next steps without faltering. Apart from anything else, it will tell him that Kenrick is not his cousin. Please, Jenn. I beg you to think about it. There are things he needs to know about his father, things that will have a bearing on what he does in the future. He needs to know.’

She saw the honesty in his gaze and the reality sent a flicker of horror through her so hard her hands shook. And then she looked up to find Andrew coming towards them, finishing off a piece of grilled fish, licking his fingers.

She looked at him now and only saw Robert, though he had her looks, the shape of her face, her blue eyes. There was so much of Robert
inside
Andrew, and yet neither of them could see it.

Could she shatter the last of his illusions? He would never look at her the same way again, but if Micah was right, and that hatred of Eachern was holding back his last steps to maturity— But how could she say those words, after so long keeping them silent in her heart? What if it was enough to turn him against her – and against Robert? Could she take that risk, to place his personal needs before those of their country?

She couldn’t, not until she was sure of the outcome.

‘What’s that about my father?’ He stood before her, wiping his mouth with his sleeve, some faint smile on his face which did not reach to his eyes. But the comment alone was enough to make Jenn’s heart thump, and she did her best to hide it.

‘Nothing. Micah was just saying that you’ll be as tall as him at least.’

His gaze flickered from hers to Micah and back. Then he nodded, pretending to be convinced. ‘Are you ready for food yet?’

‘But you just ate.’ Jenn managed a smile in reply. ‘Besides, there are other things to feed yourself with. I believe this town has a very pretty church. Why don’t we go and say a few prayers for those of us who are injured, and then we’ll go to the tavern?’

Andrew sighed, but without rancour. ‘Yes, Mother. Are you joining us, Micah?’