Tritium Gambit (Max and Miranda Book 1) (8 page)

"Go ahead. You can touch it," John said.

I hit myself in the chest. After dozens of intense missions, including one that involved wrestling with a one-ton Tiikera cat, I was going to die right here, the victim of a piece of fruit.

Miranda cleared her throat. "It feels nice. It's bumpier than I expected."

I fell to my side. I needed air now.

"That's normal. Get ready for it," John said.

I crawled toward the living room.

"Do it quick, before I change my mind," she said. There was a moment of silence, and then she let out a long moan.

I heaved with all my might and the fruit dislodged itself from my throat and landed in the pot on the stove. I crawled the remaining few feet to the door and peered out into the living room from the floor.

Miranda had a massive rooster on her lap. John was splinting her leg.

"You do have a giant cock," I whispered.

"Thanks. It's a rooster crossbred with a Teraskian fire hawk. They spit a corrosive that makes your skin burn so bad you’d wish you had died.”

Miranda went stalk still.

I cleared my throat. "Hot."

"Very." He offered me a hand up. I took it.

“
Sheriff, can you take your bird off of me?” Miranda asked. John swatted the bird away, and it hissed at him. “Thanks. Do you know what took our friend?” Miranda asked.

I thought the f-word was a completely inappropriate descriptor.

“
There have been a lot of folks disappearing lately, but he’s the first outworlder to disappear.” John glanced out the window. “He’s also the first person to go missing in the daytime.”

“
There have been others?” Miranda asked.

“
A few tourists and a local fishing guide. Nothing serious,” he said.

“
Nothing serious? Aren’t you the sheriff in this town?” I asked.

“
County. I’m the county sheriff, and technically this isn’t my county. I only live here. I’m a St. Louis County Sheriff, not the Lake County Sheriff.”

“
Okay, but what’s eating people?” I asked.

“
We don’t know they’re being eaten,” Miranda said. “All we know is they’re being taken.”

I didn’t want to point out that the sheriff had found bits and pieces of people.

John scratched the stubble on his chin. “I’d guess it was something big.”

“
So,” I said, trying to control my voice. “We’re looking for something big.”

He shrugged. “You shouldn’t be looking for anything. You would do best to get out of here.”

Miranda showed her badge. “We’re agents for the Service and the man that disappeared was also an agent.”

“
Three agents. That’s odd,” he said under his breath.

I cleared my throat. “Is there any other information you can give us that might help our investigation?”

“
Sure.” He walked toward the kitchen. “You need bigger guns.”

I frowned. “Well, I’m not really into guns…”

Miranda looked surprised. “You don’t have a gun?”

“
Guns kill things,” I said.

“
And if you have lots of guns, you can kill lots of things,” John added.

“
Well, you know martial arts at least, right?” Miranda asked.

I grinned. “Sure, I’ve seen plenty of Jackie Chan movies. He’s so awesome!”

Miranda whispered something to herself that I couldn’t hear. She might have said something like ship, but I couldn’t tell. She stood unsteadily, testing her bandaged leg. “Well, we can’t sit here all cozy and comfy while Tyler is being eaten.”

“
Well, when you put it like that...” I looked for a place to recline.

“
Come on, Chuck Norris,” she said.

“
He prefers to be called sheriff,” I pointed out.

She coughed. “Max, you and I are leaving. The sheriff has his own worries.”

“
You can barely walk,” I said.

“
I think it’s a fracture, and you probably shouldn’t walk on it until you have it properly looked at,” John said.

She shook her head. “I’m fine. Bruce Lee and I have business to take care of.”

“
Are you sure? You know that I can fix that, right?” I asked.

She looked at me. “You can fix
my
broken leg?”

“
Sure. You know how I am able to heal really fast?”

She looked cautiously at me. “Yes.”

“
Well, I can heal other people, too.”

She started to take another step toward the door, winced, and turned around. She hobbled back to the recliner. “Fine. This is your one and only chance to play doctor. Make it count.”

I pulled the emergency knife out of my boot.

She looked like she might change her mind. “What are you going to do with that?”

I stabbed myself in the forearm, sinking the knife to the hilt. I inhaled to manage my pain. When I pulled the blade out, it was covered with my blood. The wound healed as I watched.

Miranda looked a little pale. “I am not going to drink that.”

“
Gross,” I said.

I quickly flipped the blade in my hand and stabbed her in her broken shin. There was a small explosion behind my eyes and the world rocked. I lost track of my surroundings for a moment then, and when I opened my eyes, I was lying on a broken table. The room was empty and I realized that Miranda had managed to knock me out cold. No flirting this time like when she hit me before. From my vantage point on the floor, I could see feet at the kitchen table in the next room.

“
This is delicious,” I heard Miranda say. “What’s in it?”

“
It’s a family recipe, but I have to say, it actually tastes a little different than usual,” John answered. “Slightly spicier.”

Probably the evil apple I spit into it, I thought. I found my knife lodged three inches into my thigh. I took it out, cleaned it off, and returned it to my boot. My thigh burned as it healed. I closed my eyes momentarily as the pain flared and then subsided.

I walked into the kitchen. “Sorry that I went to sleep on the job.”

“
No problem,” she said, and I saw her smile return. “You should try John’s stew!”

“
I’m really not
that
hungry, thanks.”

She took another big bite. “Your loss.”

“
I thought you were worried about Tyler being eaten.”

She shoveled in a few more bites. “I’m so hungry.”

“
That’d be the hormones from my blood kicking in,” I murmured. I cleared my throat. “You might notice some changes in your behavior for the next day or two, but probably not longer than that.”

“
I feel great!” Then she seemed to really notice me. “You know, you’re kind of hot.”

“
Yeah, I know. Don’t worry; you’ll be back to normal in no time.”

A beeping sound emitted from John’s pocket. The sheriff stood and pulled out a device that resembled a universal remote. “Well, whatever the creature is, I’ve got it!” He pressed a button on the remote and the beeping stopped.

“
What happened?” I asked.

“
One of my traps was set off,” John said. “I put a few of them down in different places where I suspected it’s been moving.”

“
How far away is the trap?” Miranda asked between bites.

He glanced at the readout on his remote. “A few miles away,” John replied. “We’ll actually be crossing back into my jurisdiction to check this trap.” He marched toward the door and I followed.

“
Aren’t you coming?” I asked back to Miranda.

She sighed, pulled out the Power Protein drink I had given her earlier, and downed it in one swallow. “All right, let’s go.” She stood up on her good-as-new leg.

I missed my calling. I would have made an awesome doctor.

I noticed that she had turned her pants into shorts with a knife, probably to hide the blood stains from the trap. I looked down at my pants and observed the bloodstained hole in my own pants. When I returned to my room, these were going in the drawer of fame.

“
You’re staring at him and drooling a little,” John whispered to Miranda.

She wiped the corner of her mouth and then winked at me. I liked her better before she had my hormones. She was going to be so upset with me if she grew chest hair.

We followed John outside, past the fire chickens and the goat, and into the dense underbrush. Once in the forest, his tan uniform wasn’t always easy to follow, even with the backdrop of mostly greens and blacks. We followed the sounds of his footsteps, occasionally catching a glimpse of movement. But when he came to a stop somewhere ahead of us, Miranda and I almost completely lost him. Thankfully, Miranda’s acute senses led us to where he stood rooted.

On the ground lay a bloody weapon that both Miranda and I recognized immediately, the fully automatic assault weapon that the guy who gave us our room key at the resort had been cleaning. Then I realized that there was more to the scene, a hand still gripping the gun and an arm that was not attached to a body. Then I saw what was in the trap that the sheriff had set—a man’s leg from the thigh down.

Then a thought occurred to me. “Does that mean our resort stay is free?”

Miranda nudged me in the ribs. “You know that you can expense it to the Service, right?” she whispered.

“
Oh yeah,” I whispered back. I wish I’d kept all those receipts from the mission on Virrean. “Why are we whispering?”

“
Because he’s dead,” she said pointing at the limbs.

“
He can’t hear us,” I whispered. I indicated the limbs. “His ears aren’t even here.”

Her voice resumed normal volume. “I suppose it’s possible he survived.”

“
No,” said John. “It’s not. If you look at the flesh here and here…” He pointed to two different spots on what remained of our desk clerk. “You’ll notice something odd.”

“
What?” I asked.

“
Teeth marks. Giant teeth. This man was eaten alive, starting from the other side of his body. These are the bits left over.”

“
Well, we know one thing for certain,” I said.

“
What?” Miranda asked.

“
Whatever we’re up against didn’t finish dinner and so it doesn’t get dessert.”

Miranda nodded. “Well, it better not get dessert because we’re the closest food.” She looked at me with a lascivious grin. “Especially with a treat like you here.”

“
You’re still drooling,” John whispered to her.

“
We also know that we didn’t see any bits of Tyler left over,” I said. “So maybe Tyler wasn’t eaten.”

“
Was there any blood when you checked the perimeter of the area where you last heard him?” the sheriff asked.

“
Not that I could find,” I said.