Trouble (7 page)

              “J, what was your brother’s name?” I know the answer there were too many similarities in the two, not to be him.

              “Chad. Chad Douglas Jones.” I turn behind me to stare at him as he looks down at me.

              “I was afraid of that. What happened that night? Of the wreck?” I know some but some pieces are blurred out. He sits down next to me putting his feet in the water.

              “Well I remember like it was yesterday. He begged me all morning and all during school, through text, that he really wanted to go see this girl. I said no with it being a school night. He begged. Until after school. He came home saying he wanted to break up with her. She wasn’t in it for the long run. I laughed at him because I was like you. You are doing the same thing. Well he left. He texts me saying he loved me, but he had to go. A few hours later the officer called me told me he was involved in a car wreck and was rushed to the hospital, and that there was a girl with him who had no ID asking if I knew her. I didn’t though. I threw on my shoes and rushed to the hospital. By time I reached him he was dead. I cried and cried. The girl that was with him though she was incredible. When I asked the nurse they said they couldn’t release the name because the parents haven’t been contacted. I remember walking into her room seeing her lying there. She was like an angel. I stayed there with her until her parents showed up. Imagine my surprise to know that this whole time I knew them. Crazy huh? But I for some reason had no clue who this girl was.” He smiles and I for once was able to smile a real smile. I wonder if he knows it was me.

              “That’s really sad. I am sorry for your loss. I have to go if you don’t mind can you take me home?” He nods, getting up and helping me up. He goes inside and comes right back out.

              “Here Gage told me to give you these. Said that you need to keep them so you can smoke, instead of taking pills. He wasn’t making sense he said she’ll know.” I laugh as I took the full pack of cigarettes and lighter.

              “It’s just an inside joke. I am going to smoke one though before leaving.” He laughs. I light one up and sit on the curb. J disappears and then returns with a cigarette in his mouth.

              “You don’t know how hard it is to hide. But hey already did something that I could get fired over. Why not?” We laugh. I would have never guessed.

              “Let’s go.” We hop into the truck as Bush glisten through his speakers. He was about to change it when I stopped him. Once my hand touched his I felt the warmth of them.             

              “Please don’t change it.” He smiles at me Glycerin by Bush was the most amazing song. I close my eyes as the chorus starts. I couldn’t help but sing. I feel his hand grab mine and I held his. It was so perfect.

              “So, why did you want to know what happened to my brother. Or his name?” I stare out the window afraid to look forward. I was always nervous when I stared ahead. He tightens his grip on my hand. I spoke hoping to not be hated.

              “I am the girl. I was the one who caused the wreck I just wouldn’t let him go. Why in the world didn’t I just get out of the truck? Lightening Crashes was playing in his truck when we were hit by the truck running the light. I woke up moments later on the ground and made my way to Chad. He was so bad. I grabbed his hand as he told me he loved me and that he needed his brother to know he was sorry. He loved you so much.” The tears are flowing as he pulls into my driveway and he grabs me and pulls me into his lap. I cried as he held me against him. I knew it was his brother when Gage mentioned it this morning, but damnit I didn’t want to be right.  He climbs out of the truck, never once putting me down. He unlocks my house and takes me to my room. It was around nine and dark. He went to leave, but I grabbed his hand.

              “Please stays don’t leave me. As friends.” He climbs in my bed and held me all night. That is how we were when Ashley came to wake me up in the morning.

              “Oh my god.” J jumps up knocking me off onto the floor face first. J looks at Ashley and me and they both start laughing. I grab the blanket and pull it over my head.

              “To early go away.” I hear her moving towards me and landing right on top of me and tickling me.

              “Oh come on. You think I didn’t bring you a monster at least?” I hold out my hand for it. She gives it to me. I sit up on the floor and take a big drink.

              “I am up. Let’s get ready.” I stare at J who had the biggest smirk on his face. I flip him off.

              “So I’m going to head home since I need to get ready.” Ashley jumps off me.

              “Bye Mr. Jones, sir, J. I am conflicted on what to call you.” He winks at me before walking out the door.

              “So La, what happened? You are awful cheery.” I hit her before going to get ready for school. I tell her everything and she was happy that Gage was able to help. She also told me they are indeed official. I’m happy that she’s found her true love.

              We make it to school early for the first time ever. We are usually right on time or late. I hate being late, so early was just as good. I see Evan running towards me and thought this should be good.

              “Hey La, I need to talk to you.” He glances at Ashley... “Alone?” I shake my head no.

              “Fine. So I want to see if you want to go out again?” I laugh so hard I almost pee myself.

              “Look, I am thrilled, but you are the one that fucked me over. I am not in the state of mind to have it done again….Ever. So go find another mark on your post and have fun.” I grab Ashley and walk off. He’s just mad, because I scared his little girl friend and he didn’t want to be a punk about it.  I glance at my phone and there was a text.

             
J: Where does that leave us?

              Me: Friends. That is what we are. Can you handle that?

              J: I think I can get by. I want you to truly know that I am here for you. I want to help and protect you.

              Me: Thank you
.

              “J?” I nod as we head to our lockers. We glance at Shelia the other slut on campus, but she’s more of a nasty one.

              “Hey La. I heard that you went to Mr. Jones BBQ party with Gage and Ashley. Also heard that you sat on the beach all day, because he didn’t want whores in his house.” Got to hand it to her she was good.

              “Well Sha, that’s  funny, because I heard that you couldn’t attend the frat parties a couple weekends ago, because they said you were too high school and not hot enough. Also I didn’t go anywhere, but home. That would be because I was at funeral.” She laughs letting it roll off her shoulders.

              “Yeah I heard. You went to your grandma’s funeral who didn’t like you either. Real smooth.” I look at Ashley and mouth sorry. I turn around to her and grabbed her blonde extensions and slam her face into her locker before getting on top of her bashing her head into the ground before I was yanked off by Coach Smith.

              “What in the heck is going on here?” I look down to a hunched over Shelia having blood pour from her nose.

              “Well coach she...” he interrupts me before I can finish.

              “I swear Lannie if you say she ran into something than I am going to be pissed off.” I cross my arms over my chest. As the students all stare at me. There were a few teachers heading towards us including Ashley’s mom and Mr. Jones.

              “Well Lannie lets hear it.” Ashley’s mom spoke.

              “I can’t because Coach said not to say the dumb bitch ran into the locker.” Ashley tries not to laugh.

              “And the ground? She just happened to bang her head?” Coach says annoyed at me. I put a smile on my face and nod.

              “That is it Lannie. My office now.” Ashley’s mom spoke; I look up to see the wide eyes of Mr. Jones.

              “No need I know the drill. I will be back in a week. Shelia, sorry, but next fucking time I see you ball up to me, you better have the damn balls to fight me.” I grab my purse and leave school as I hear my name being called by Ashley’s mom. I know I will get a lecture from my parents. This was not a good idea, but after the week I have had I don’t care. I make it home and go into the kitchen to drown my sorrows in liquor.  Hours later my phone rings nonstop from my mom, dad, and even Mark. I didn’t want to talk I had been drinking since I got back home this morning and I was beyond wasted. I lie down on the couch with the crown and drink some more before eventually passing out.

              “Lannie, get up sweet girl.” I look up to see my mom standing above me. Shit. My head hurts.

              “What are you doing here?” my dad walks in and grabs the crown bottle.

              “We came back early. So a fight? Suspended?” I sat up and had to keep it together.

              “Sorry. I just couldn’t take it anymore.” She sat down and my dad followed as Mark gave me a hug and ran upstairs.

              “We were thinking of moving to Nevada. Your dad’s just having a great time with his family. Mark loves his cousins. They have a top school for him, and we would have someone to watch him when went on trips, so no burden on you. You are about to go away to New York and live your dream. Why else would we stay?” Ugh, Ashley was right.

              “Umm I am not moving there. That family hates me. I would kill myself before I went.” My dad glances at my mom who lowers her head.

              “You wouldn’t go. You would stay here. In this house until graduation and then we would buy you a condo in New York and sell this house.” I look at them like I was hearing things.

              “Okay, so me by myself. After what happened? When would you leave?” My mom sighs before turning her attention to my father who spoke.

              “In two months.  What are your thoughts?” I couldn’t help, but feel as though that family corrupted them into thinking that I am a nobody.

              “What I think? Well that you two couldn’t even be parents to us growing up just flashed money and cars at us. Well me. Than you want to move across country with my only brother to live by the family that abused your daughter all those years? So what holidays would you come here, because I sure in the hell wouldn’t go there? So you know what I think? You two deserve to be there with them, because you guys sure in the hell act like them.” I get off the couch and walk right out the door, and go down the street. I didn’t know if he was home, but I prayed he was. I walk up to the door. I bang on the door. Moments later he answers.

              “Lannie? Everything okay? I didn’t get a text.” He walks to his phone.

              “No I didn’t text you. You said you would be here for me. Well I need you now. My parents are worthless pieces of shit.” He holds the door open as I walk in and plop down on the couch. I didn’t know where else to go. I know this wasn’t the best thing, but for now it was.

              “What is going on Lannie?” I stare at him as he hands me a water bottle.

              “My parents came home.  They also informed me that in two months there moving to Nevada. Without me. Which that is okay, because I can keep the house, and when I go upstate for college they will buy me a condo, and sell the house.” I shake my head as I take a drink of water.

              “Wow. Shitty move. I thought that side of the family hates you.” I nod waiting for him to get the hint that they do, which means other than them coming to see me I more than likely will never see them or my brother.

              “Oh.” He whispers. I sit there unsure what to do. I look at the clock and notice that it’s after eleven. I didn’t even realize he was in sweat pants only. I tore my eyes away from him.

              “Want to crash here? I have a spare bedroom. I don’t mind.” I smile and nod my head. He shows me the room and I thank him before he walks out. I lie down and it smells just like him. I toss and turn unable to sleep. After an hour I get up and walk around. Once I step out of the bedroom door I freeze thinking if I should go into his room to see if he was asleep. I forgot my phone at home. I sneak down stairs and out the front door. I need my phone and it has my money in it. I could make this week go by quick with a trip. I sneak into my house and grab my things before heading to the door.

              “Lannie.” My dad’s voice is a whisper.

              “Yeah?” He walks towards me and looks sad.

              “I do love you. It’s just Mark needs family and you’re about to move. It is best we move. Are you leaving?” I nod. I get it, I did, but it still hurts like hell.

              “I love you dad. It’s just I need space. I am suspended for a week, why not go somewhere?” He pulls his wallet off the foyer and hands me another credit card.

              “This one doesn’t have a limit. I love you baby girl.” I give him a hug, and walk out the door to my car. I debate on going back to J’s house. Deciding against it I start my car. I send Ashley a text telling her I’m going to be MIA for the week and will see her Friday.

              I wake up with the birds chirping outside of the window. I have been here for two days now. I am leaving tomorrow to head back into town. I know Ashley was coming out today after school to stay the night with me. Her mom gave her permission to miss a day of school. I was excited, but still haven’t got my shit together. I walk out onto the balcony overlooking the ocean; West Palm Beach was the perfect getaway. I shut my phone off and haven’t had contact with no one other than Ashley who has called the land line here. I hated feelings, pain, the hurt, the sorrow, but most of all the broken. The pain that I feel is so hard to explain that I just can’t express it. I have slept around with five guys since I have been here. It’s a means of escapes for me, but still I feel isolated and I hate it. I still have my mom’s phone call fresh in my mind.