Read True: An Elixir Novel Online
Authors: Hilary Duff
I walk to the rainbow wall and put my hand on the edge of the light. I feel . . . happiness. Lost souls finding their way home. Not that I have any
idea what that would feel like, but I somehow just know that’s what it is. I feel drawn inside, like I could dive in and be part of their happiness, but even though the wall is only light, it’s solid.
Slowly, the light recedes. It releases Rayna first. She stands near the top of the pentagram, and she sobs through a smile.
Next the light recedes past Ben. He lies on the ground with his hands over his groin, and I know how the fight with Rayna ended.
Finally the rainbow is entirely gone . . . except for a cocoon around Sage. It hovers around him, pulsing with energy until it disappears underneath his skin, leaving only . . .
It’s Nico’s body, and for agonizing moments it’s perfectly still. Was Rayna too late?
Slowly, the man pushes himself up so he’s sitting on the grass. He moves with fluid confidence, the way he did from the first time we met in my dreams. He rolls his neck and stretches his hands over his head.
Then he sees me and flashes the sidelong smile that makes me melt.
I run to him and throw myself into his arms, and he laughs as we tumble backward.
I stare into his eyes, those rich, brown, soulful eyes. “It’s you,” I say. “You came back to me.”
“Forever,” he says, and seals it with a kiss that promises everything we ever wanted.
CLEA
“Seriously? It’s freezing out there. Come inside.” Sage stands behind our screen door, his arms wrapped around his body against the New York winter chill.
“Are you kidding? I haven’t seen her in
six months
! That’s half a year! That’s like a lifetime!”
He’s not wrong; it
is
freezing, but I’m dressed for it in my parka, scarf, gloves, mittens, and boots. I don’t know how long it’ll take the cab to get Rayna to our little Brooklyn Heights brownstone
in this weather, but I want to be here when she pulls up.
“It’s not
quite
a lifetime,” Sage says. “And it’s not like you don’t Skype with her every day.”
“Almost every day. And it’s not the same.”
Anything else he has to say is drowned out by my screams as the cab pulls up and Rayna pops out of the backseat, arms spread. I race to her, and we hug almost tight enough to feel it through our layers of coats and sweaters. By the time we pull apart, Sage has already paid the cabdriver and has Rayna’s suitcase halfway to the door.
“Wow! Thanks, Sage.”
“My pleasure,” he says, holding the door open for us. Before she steps inside, Rayna gives him a huge hug and a peck on the cheek.
“It’s really good to see you.”
“Good to see you, too, Rayna.”
I’m so happy watching them I could burst. I used to think it could never happen, that Rayna would always look at Sage and be heartbroken for Nico, but it’s not like that at all. After everything that happened, Rayna said she knew Nico was at peace. It was still awkward for her at first. Even a month later, when she left for Paris, there
was a tinge of weirdness between them—and us, to be honest—but pretty soon they were like old friends and we were back to normal. I’ve even come home from class, late for a planned Skype call, and found the two of them talking and laughing without me. It’s pretty amazing. I have to give Rayna a lot of props for being so strong.
When we get in, I take Rayna’s arm and give her the grand tour. We have the basement unit of the brownstone. Mom would have bought us something more—she offered a huge apartment in the Village—but Sage and I wanted to live a normal life. Our apartment isn’t huge, and it’s not superluxurious, but it’s all we need, and we love it.
“You are
so
much better off here than in a dorm,” she says. “Totally worth having your mom call in the favor.”
“I hated to do it,” I say, plopping down with her on the couch, “but I couldn’t live with Sage in NYU freshman housing, and I’m sorry, but I didn’t want to wait a year before we moved in together.”
“Of course not! You waited long enough.”
Sage brings in a tray with a cheese plate and three glasses of wine.
“Check you out, all domestic,” Rayna says.
“Gets better,” Sage says. “I specifically picked a Malbec from a French vineyard, in your honor.”
“So you say,” she says swirling the wine in her glass. “I’m dubious.” Then she takes a sip. “Wow. Okay, yes. This is the real thing.”
“Feels like you’re back in Paris?” Sage asks.
“
Nothing
feels like Paris,” Rayna says.
It was a huge surprise when she decided to take a year off before college and go to Europe. Rayna had never been that far from home on her own. Wanda freaked out, and even though I didn’t admit it to Rayna, I was even a little skeptical. But she was incredible. She thought she’d spend the whole year just wandering, but soon after she landed in Paris she heard about an opening for an intern at the top French fashion magazine. I forget the name, but I know she loves it, she feels she’s found herself, and we’re all wondering if she’s going to ever come back permanently.
“Pictures of Aaron,” I say. “You promised.”
“I didn’t take any!”
“Rayna! You’ve been together for, like, two months! I’d think you’d be planning your wedding by now!”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. He’s nice. I really
like him. I just want to take it slow. But if we’re talking about pictures, can we discuss how your apartment is basically an art gallery?”
I roll my eyes, and Sage laughs. Our stuff is hardly impressive enough to count as gallery material, but Sage draws all the time now, and his best charcoals are framed on the walls, along with some of my photography. There’s not a lot, since most of what I shoot lately is for school. The photography major is excellent, but I have to slog through the intro courses first. I’m learning a lot, but it’s not like I’m getting a lot of frame-worthy material.
Hours go by before she brings up the one topic we’ve avoided by Skype.
“He calls me sometimes, you know. I always feel weird. Like I’m betraying you guys if I take the call.”
“You’re not,” I assure her.
“It’s not like we talk often. He doesn’t have a whole lot to say, really.”
“I thought things were going well for him. He’s teaching in California, right?”
“Yeah. Did I tell you that?”
“Mom did. He keeps her posted, and she tells me some things.”
“Got it. So yeah, things are good and all. It’s just whenever he talks to me, he only ends up telling me how much he wants you back in his life.
Both
of you,” she adds, nodding to Sage.
Sage holds up his hands. “It’s all Clea. I’m good with whatever she wants.”
I shake my head. I miss Ben’s friendship too. We shared so much. . . . In some ways, even after all this time living together, not even Sage knows me as well as he did. But he betrayed us too many times. And the last time . . .
I used to think about it a lot. I wondered if it was even his fault. Magda could have been clearer when she told me about the ceremony. She gave me only enough information that I’d have to turn to Ben for help. Did she know he’d find a way to sabotage it? Once he discovered it, did he ever have a chance of resisting, or was he doomed to fall right back into that pattern that had always haunted the three of us? Was that Magda’s plan all along, or was she genuinely trying to help, and did Ben betray us all on his own?
For a long time, I tortured myself over it. I even thought about hiring someone to track down Magda in her new life and grill her about it. But in the end, I didn’t want to dig up old ghosts. I
needed to put all the ugliness behind me if I really wanted to make a fresh start with Sage.
That meant putting Ben behind me too. I don’t hate him. I’m not even mad at him—I won’t give him that kind of energy. I just can’t have him in my life.
“Can’t do it,” I say. “I wish him well, though. I do.”
Rayna nods and takes a sip of her wine, then starts to laugh. It’s infectious, and soon Sage and I are laughing along with her, even though we have no idea why.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Clea, look at us! It was only a year ago we were getting ready for our big trip to Europe. If you’d told us then where we’d be right now . . . do you think we’d ever believe it?”
Nobody would believe everything we’ve been through, but I know what she means. A year ago I’d never even seen Sage, and Rayna wouldn’t have dreamed of living on her own.
“Never in a million years,” I say.
Rayna’s laughter subsides, and something washes over her. “Do you ever wonder if it can last?”
“What do you mean?”
“Things are so good now. I’m happy, you and Sage are happy. . . . It’s so night-and-day from where we were, but it feels perfect now, you know?”
“I do.”
“So what if a year from
now
everything is completely different again?”
I think about it. I look at Sage, at our little apartment filled with his drawings and all my college assignments. I look at Rayna, glowing with inner confidence. And I smile.
“Things will change,” I say. “But I’m not worried about it. You know why?”
“Why?”
“Because the most important things in life . . . they’re eternal.”
HELLO AGAIN!
Wow, I cannot believe book three is finally finished! What a journey this has been. A huge thank-you to all of my lovely fans who have been dedicated to this trilogy and to me from the beginning. It has been incredible to travel around the world and see my books translated into many different languages—having the opportunity to meet many of you face-to-face and see your enthusiasm is something I will never forget! You are the ones who inspire me every day to try new things, and this book is the perfect example. Thank you for your passion.
I feel very lucky to have worked with the amazingly talented and spirited Elise Allen, who helped create these books with me and took our characters on a wild ride. I love that we had absolute honesty and respect for each other through this process. You are genius and I love you!
Fonda and Rob, thank you for believing in me and for guiding me through this process. Your
expertise was greatly appreciated, and your creative opinions always made for positive changes.
To my wonderful team at Simon & Schuster who really made this all happen, you guys have been great partners and I appreciate all of the hard work from you: Zareen Jaffery, Julia Maguire, Carolyn Reidy, Jon Anderson, Justin Chanda, Anne Zafian, Paul Crichton, Nicole Russo, Lucille Rettino, Jenica Nasworthy, and Lizzy Bromley.
xxo
HD
HILARY DUFF
is a multifaceted actress and recording artist whose career began on the popular Disney sitcom
Lizzie McGuire
. She has since worked on a number of films and TV series, and most recently appeared in a guest-starring role on
Gossip Girl
. She has sold more than thirteen million albums worldwide and has a clothing line, Femme, for DKNY and a bestselling fragrance, With Love . . . Hilary Duff, for Elizabeth Arden. Hilary’s humanitarian work is recognized throughout the world. She is cofounder of the charity Blessings in a Backpack, a program that provides quality nourishment for schoolchildren who wouldn’t otherwise receive it. She has served on the President’s Council on Service and Civic Participation and was named ambassador to the youth of Bogotá, Colombia. Her first novel,
Elixir
, is a
New York Times
bestseller.
The Elixir series is written by
Hilary Duff with Elise Allen
Jacket design by Lizzy Bromley
Jacket photograph copyright © 2013 by Ali Smith
Author photograph copyright © by Andrew Southam
Simon & Schuster · New York
Watch videos, get extras, and read exclusives at
ALSO BY HILARY DUFF
elixir
devoted