True Believer (31 page)

True Believer

Twenty-two

Jeremy paced the length of the living room. He needed to think, to work through the options, so he would know what to do.

He ran his hand through his hair before shaking his head. There wasn’t time for indecision. Not now, knowing what he knew. He had to go back. Get on the first plane he could and find her again. Talk to her, try to convince her that when he’d told her that he loved her, he’d never been more serious about anything in his life. Tell her that he couldn’t imagine a life without her. Tell her that he would do whatever it took so they could be together.

Before Doris had even hailed a cab outside his building, he was reaching for the phone and calling the airline.

He was put on hold for what seemed like forever, growing more irate with every passing moment, until he finally got an agent to assist him.

The last flight to Raleigh was leaving in ninety minutes. Even in good weather, the cab ride could take half that long, but it was either make the flight or wait until tomorrow.

He had to move quickly. Grabbing a duffel bag from the closet, he tossed in two pairs of jeans, a couple of shirts, socks, and underwear. He threw on his jacket and stuffed his cell phone in his pocket. Took the charger from the top of the desk. Laptop? No, he wouldn’t need it. What else?

Oh, yeah. He rushed to the bathroom and checked the contents of his dop kit. Remembered his razor and toothbrush and shoved them in. He turned out the lights, put his computer to sleep, and grabbed his wallet. Flipping through it, he saw that he had enough cash to get him to the airport—good enough for now. From the corner of his eye, he spied Owen Gherkin’s diary half buried beneath a stack of papers. He tossed the diary and his dop kit into the duffel bag, tried to think if he needed anything else, then gave up. No time for that. He picked up the keys from the end table near the door, took one last look around, then locked the door before charging down the stairs.

He hailed a cab, told the driver he was in a hurry, and sat back with a sigh, hoping for the best. Doris had been right: due to the snow, traffic was bad, and as they came to a stop on the bridge crossing the East River, he cursed under his breath. To cut time at security, he removed his belt and threw it in the duffel bag, along with his keys. The driver glanced at him in the rearview mirror. His expression was one of boredom, and although he drove fast, it was without any sense of urgency. Jeremy bit his tongue, knowing it wouldn’t do any good to irritate him.

Minutes passed. The flurries, which had temporarily stopped, started up again, reducing visibility even further. Forty-five minutes until his flight.

The traffic slowed again, and Jeremy sighed aloud as he looked at his watch once more. Thirty-five minutes before the flight. Ten minutes later, they reached the exit for the airport and headed toward the terminal.

Finally.

The moment the cab came to a stop, he opened the door and tossed two twenties to the driver. Inside the terminal, he hesitated for only an instant before the electronic departure board to figure out which gate he needed. He stood on a mercifully short line to get his electronic ticket, then headed toward security. He felt his heart sink when he saw how long the lines were, but caught a break as a new line suddenly opened. People who’d been waiting began drifting that way; Jeremy, on a run, cut three of them off.

The flight would close its doors in less than ten minutes, and once through security, Jeremy started to jog, then run. Weaving through the crowds, he reached for his driver’s license, counting the gates.

He was breathing hard by the time he reached the gate and could feel himself beginning to perspire.

“Did I make it?” he panted.

“Only because of a brief delay,” the woman at the counter said, typing into the computer. The attendant near the door glared at him.

After taking his ticket, the attendant closed the door after Jeremy had started down the ramp. He was still trying to catch his breath when he reached the plane.

“We’ll be backing off the gate shortly. You’re the last one, so you can take a seat anywhere,” the flight attendant said as she made room for him to pass.

“Thanks.”

He moved down the aisle, amazed that he’d made it, and spotted an open window seat halfway down. He was storing his duffel bag in the overhead bin when he caught sight of Doris, three rows behind him.

Returning his gaze, she said nothing; she simply smiled.

The plane touched down in Raleigh at half past three, and Jeremy walked with Doris through the terminal. Near the exit doors, he motioned over his shoulder.

“I’ve got to get a rental car,” he said.

“I’ll be happy to take you,” she said. “I’m going that way.”

When she saw him hesitate, she smiled. “And I’ll let you drive,” she added.

He never let the speed drop below eighty and shaved forty-five minutes from the three-hour drive; dusk was setting in as he approached the outskirts of town. With random images of Lexie floating through his mind, he didn’t notice the passage of time, nor could he remember much of the drive. He tried to rehearse what he wanted to say or anticipate how she would respond, but he realized that he had no idea what was going to happen. It didn’t matter. Even if he was flying by the seat of his pants, he couldn’t imagine doing anything differently.

The streets of Boone Creek were quiet as he approached downtown. Doris turned toward him.

“Would you mind dropping me off at home?”

He glanced at her, realizing that they’d barely spoken since leaving the airport. With his mind fixed on Lexie, he hadn’t even noticed.

“Don’t you need your car?”

“Not until tomorrow. Besides, it’s too cold to be walking around tonight.”

Following Doris’s directions, Jeremy pulled to a stop in front of her house. At the small white bungalow, he could see her newspaper propped against the door. The crescent moon hovered just above the roofline, and in the dim light, he glanced at himself in the rearview mirror. Knowing that he was only minutes from seeing Lexie, he ran his hand through his hair.

Doris noted his nervous gesture and patted him on the leg. “It’s going to be okay,” she said. “Trust me.”

Jeremy forced a smile, trying to hide his doubts. “Any last-minute advice?”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Besides, you already took whatever I had to give. You’re here, aren’t you?”

Jeremy nodded, and Doris leaned across the seat to kiss him on the cheek.

“Welcome home,” she whispered.

Jeremy turned the car around, the tires screaching as he sped back toward the library. Lexie had mentioned keeping the library open for people who came in after work, hadn’t she? In one of their conversations? Yes, he thought, he was sure of it, but for the life of him, he couldn’t remember when. Was it the day they’d met? The next day? He sighed, recognizing that his compulsive need to review their history was simply an attempt to calm his nerves. Should he have come? Would she be glad to see him? Any confidence he had evaporated as he neared the library.

Downtown appeared in sharp focus, in contrast to the dreamy, misty images he remembered. He drove past Lookilu and saw half a dozen cars parked out front, saw another group of cars clustered near the pizza place. A group of teenagers was loitering on the corner, and while he initially thought they were smoking, he realized it was simply the warmth of their breath condensing in cold air.

He turned again; on the far side of the intersection, he saw the lights from the library blazing on both floors. He parked the car and stepped out into the cold night air. Taking a deep breath, he strode quickly to the front door and pulled it open.

With no one at the front desk, he stopped to peek through the glass doors that opened into the downstairs area. No sign of Lexie among the patrons. He swept his gaze around the room, making sure.

Figuring Lexie was either in her office or in the main room, he hurried down the corridor and up the stairs, where he glanced around before heading toward her office. From a distance, he noted that the door was closed, no light spilling out beneath it. Checking the door, he found it locked, then searched among the aisles as he made his way to the rare-book room.

Locked.

He cut a zigzag route through the main room, walking quickly, ignoring the stares of people who no doubt recognized him, then ran down the stairs. As he headed for the front door, he realized that he should have checked for Lexie’s car and wondered why he hadn’t.

Nerves, a voice inside his head answered.

No matter. If she wasn’t here, she was probably at home.

One of the elderly volunteers was emerging with an armful of books, and her eyes lit up when she saw him approaching.

“Mr. Marsh?” she called out in a singsong voice. “I didn’t expect to see you again! What on earth are you doing here?”

“I was looking for Lexie.”

“She left about an hour ago. I think she was heading to Doris’s to check on her. I know she called earlier, and Doris didn’t answer.”

Jeremy kept his expression steady. “Oh?”

“And Doris wasn’t at Herbs, I know that much. I tried to tell Lexie that Doris was probably running some errands, but you know how Lexie worries. She’s like a mother hen. Drives Doris crazy sometimes, but she knows that it’s just Lexie’s way of showing that she cares.” She paused, suddenly realizing that Jeremy hadn’t explained his reappearance. Before she could say another word, however, Jeremy cut her off.

“Listen, I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve really got to talk to Lexie.”

“About the story again? Maybe I could help. I have the key to the rare-book room, if you need it.”

“No, that’s not necessary. But thank you.”

He was already past her when he heard her voice behind him.

“If she comes back, do you want me to tell her you came by?”

“No,” he called out over his shoulder. “It’s a surprise.”

He shivered as he stepped into the cold and ran back to the car. He pulled onto the main road, followed the curve to the edge of town, watching as the sky grew even darker. Above the trees, he could see stars, thousands of them. Millions. For an instant, he wondered how they would look from the top of Riker’s Hill.

He turned onto Lexie’s street, saw her house, and felt something give way when he saw no lights shining from inside and no car in the drive. Reluctant to believe his eyes, he passed the house slowly, hoping he’d made a mistake.

If not at the library, if not at home, where was she?

Had she passed him on the way to Doris’s? He tried to think. Had anyone passed him? Not that he remembered, but he really hadn’t been paying attention. He was sure he would have recognized her car, anyway.

He decided to swing by Doris’s just to make sure, and—driving too fast through town while watching for her car—he sped back to her white bungalow.

One look was all it took to see that Doris had already gone to bed.

Still, he paused in front of the house, trying to figure out where Lexie had gone. It wasn’t that large of a town and the options were few. He thought immediately of Herbs, but remembered it wasn’t open in the evening. He hadn’t seen her car at Lookilu— or anywhere else downtown, for that matter. He supposed she could have been doing something mundane: grocery shopping or returning a video or picking up dry cleaning . . . or . . . or . . .

And with that, he suddenly realized where she was.

Jeremy gripped the steering wheel, trying to steel himself for the end of his journey. His chest was tight and he could feel himself breathing too quickly, just as he had earlier in the afternoon, as he’d taken his seat on the plane. It was hard to believe that he’d started his day in New York thinking he would never see Lexie again, and now here he was in Boone Creek, planning to do what he thought was impossible. He drove the darkened roads, still unnerved by the thought of what Lexie’s reaction to his return might be.

Moonlight lent the cemetery an almost bluish color, and the tombstones seemed to glow as if lit dimly from within. The wrought-iron fencing added a spooky touch to the ethereal setting. As Jeremy approached the cemetery’s entrance, he saw Lexie’s car parked near the gate.

He pulled up behind it. Climbing out of Doris’s car, he could hear the ticking of the engine as it cooled. Leaves crackled underfoot and he took a deep breath. He placed his hand on the hood of Lexie’s car and felt the warmth radiating through his palm. She hadn’t been here long.

He passed through the gate and saw the magnolia, its leaves black and shiny, as if they’d been dipped in oil. He stepped over a branch and recalled groping his way through the cemetery on that foggy night with Lexie when he’d been unable to see anything. Halfway through the cemetery grounds, he heard an owl hoot from one of the trees.

Leaving the path, he moved around a crumbling crypt, walking slowly to keep the noise to a minimum, climbing the slight incline. Above him, the moon hung in the sky as if tacked to a blackened sheet. He thought he heard a low murmur, and when he stopped to listen, he felt an intense surge of adrenaline. He had come to find her, to find himself, and his body was readying him for whatever came next. He crested the small hill, knowing that Lexie’s parents were buried on the other side.