True Connection (The Soul Mate Series) (5 page)

             
“Let me see, dear.”

After examining my elbow, she tells me that Tylenol and ice will hold me over until I can visit the family doctor. I don’t think I’ll need to go see my doctor, but I guess she has to say that.

She writes out some passes for us and sends us to our next class.

Seth is awfully quiet on our way back.

              “Hey, you okay?” I ask.

Why am
I
asking him that? He’s the damn wall.

             
“Yeah, I’m good. I just thought…I don’t know what I thought.” He hands me my bag and goes to class before I can respond.

What the hell just happened?

              I shake off my confusion and head to gym.

Getting through gym is torture. Since I can’t participate, I don’t get a break from my thoughts.

What happened with Seth just now? Did I say or do something wrong? Is he still going to meet me for lunch?

What if he takes what I say badly? What if he thinks of me as a charity case?

As soon as I think it, I know that fear can be dismissed. I don’t know why. I just
know
that telling Seth will do nothing except bring us closer together.

But, what if I break down when I try to tell them about my family? Henry will be there, so he can finish for me. But I don’t want to cry anymore.

It feels like a whole day is crammed into this one hour. Every time I look at the clock, the minute hand seems to move backwards. I tap my feet against the steps on the bleachers and pick at the plastic on the corner of the icepack that’s poking out of the paper towels.

I glance up, and watch my classmates serve volleyball after volleyball. I’d rather be out there, even with a bum elbow.

When the bell finally rings, I practically run to the cafeteria doors. Henry is already there, so we have to wait for Skeeter and Seth. I’m just starting to worry when Seth comes up to us.

             
“Hey, Jaz.” He gives me a smile, then turns to Henry. “Hey, man,” he says and shakes Henry’s hand.

             
“How’s it goin’?” Henry asks.

Before anyone can say anything, Henry zeroes in on the ice pack attached to my elbow. His eyes go wide and his mouth opens, when Skeeter suddenly pops up.

              “Oh my gosh! Are you okay?” she winks. “Seth told me about your smashed up elbow! What were you thinking?”

             
“Oh, you know. The wall said my butt looked big.” I shrug. “I tried to defend myself.” I hold in my laughter. “As it turns out, walls can offend me all they want. I’m physically no match.” I eye Seth.

             
That does the trick. The three of them laugh.

Henry and Seth say at the same time, “I’ll protect you.”

They both stop laughing and stare at each other. I roll my eyes.

Oh, goodie! Another staring contest.

              Skeeter reacts first to save the day. “Alright, boys. We know where you stand. Jaz won’t fight walls anymore, tone it down a notch.”

             
Henry eyes Skeeter for a breath and chuckles again.

             
“Let’s go, guys.” I smile. All I can think is, ‘let’s do this before I chicken out!’

             
After paying for everyone’s lunches, I lead them outside to a picnic table far enough away from any ears. I sit next to Henry and across from Seth.

             
“So, I want to start off by apologizing for the last two days. I was wrong to ignore you,”

Skeeter interrupts me. “All is forgiven, you bought me food.” she grins and digs in.

              I can’t return her smile but I continue on anyway. “Apologizing, right... Tuesday,” I wince and glance to Henry. He bumps my knee with his and nods. “Tuesday was bad, and I’m sorry for what happened in study hall, Seth. I’m also sorry for ignoring you guys the past two days.” I take a deep breath and stare at the food on my tray. “You two deserve some answers to questions I’ve avoided.” I glance up to see they’re both staring at me. “First, ‘why did we move here?’” I take a deep breath, drop my fork, and look down at my lap. “On February 9
th
our dad and sister were killed by a drunk driver.” Henry squeezes my hand as I continue. “Our mom… She didn’t take it so well and is at an inpatient treatment facility, now. So we had to move in with our uncle.” I take a deep breath.

             
“The next question I tend to avoid is, ‘how do we know Leland Jefferies?’ He’s the uncle, our mom’s twin, and we moved in with him. Next question, Seth. ‘Why did I start to cry in study hall on Tuesday?’ Our dad’s favorite song started playing on my iPod.” I feel the tears prick my eyes just thinking about that song. I push the pain away again and move on. “The last question is from yesterday, ‘Why are you avoiding everyone?’ It wasn’t intentional, but Tuesday night was the first time I really cried…since the-,” I squeeze Henry’s hand to silently tell him I can’t continue.

             
Memories of the day we buried them cloud my mind. I see flashes of sad faces, flower arrangements, our uncle standing at the podium giving his eulogy, and two caskets being lowered into the dirt.

             
I feel the tears stream down my face and land on my hands.

             
“Tuesday night was bad and she needed a few mental days. Don’t take the last two days personally,” Henry says. He wipes my tears off my face and hugs me.

             
I squeeze my brother, thankful that he’s here, and bring myself back to the present.

             
Everyone is so quiet. I look at Seth, and he has his face in his hands. When I look to Skeeter, she runs around the table, squeezes in to sit next to me as she wraps her arms around me for a tight hug.

             
“Skeeter…air…” I gasp. She chuckles and loosens her grip on me.

“Oops, sorry,” she releases me. “Jaz, I forgive you, but I am so jealous! You have the hottest brother
and
uncle! No wonder you won’t let me come over in the mornings! I’d have a heart attack!” she laughs. Henry and I join her.

Seth peeks out from his hands.

              “Delilah, you’re kidding right?” he glares. “Out of everything she told us, you choose to focus on that?” his voice booms.

Skeeter looks away from me and grabs a fry from my plate. She dips it in ketchup and slowly brings it to her mouth but at the last minute, she flings the ketchup fry at Seth. It lands with a wet plop on his cheek, and Henry and I start laughing, again.

              “You know better than to call me that, Seth
Francis
Neill! I wasn’t done!” She fumes.

As funny as this is, I should stop them. We don’t need a food fight. “Hey, look at the time! We gotta go or we’ll be late. Come on!” I stand.

              “What do you guys say we just skip the rest of the day?” Henry suggests.

             
Skeeter bounces on the balls of her feet. “Please, Jaz? We have loads to talk about! I don’t think I can concentrate on math problems! Please?”

             
“Fine,” I agree, and Skeeter starts squealing.

             
Seth says his parents are at work, Miss Jaynie is at our house and Skeeter says her mom works from home. Seth’s it is.

             
“We’ll follow you,” Henry says as we head for the student lot.

             
I hope he behaves at Seth’s. None of that macho-big-brother crap.

             
As it turns out, we have fun at Seth’s place, even Henry. We play pool, watch a bad movie from the eighties, and goof off. It was definitely an afternoon worth skipping school for.

I feel light and happy, more like myself than I have been.

              Seth pulls me aside just as we’re leaving.

             
“I’m sorry again about your elbow.” He sounds a bit nervous.

             
“No problem, Wall,” I say and grin.

             
He swallows. “Are you free tomorrow? Say around ten A.M.?”

             
“Yes, I believe so. Why?” my voice shakes a little.

             
He looks at me and smiles. “I’ll pick you up. It’s my turn to talk.”

             
I nod rigidly.

             
Why am I suddenly petrified for morning to come? He wants to talk to me about something. We’ll be alone. I gulp as I climb into the car.

             
I’ll be alone with Seth.

My heart kicks up speed like a race horse and my palms start sweating.

Is this a panic attack?

Henry and Skeeter’s laugh pull me out of my head. I join in with the jokes to escape my panicked and overexcited thoughts.
             

Kissing the Voice inside My Head

              I wake up at eight, shower, and get dressed. After changing five times, I settle for jeans and a t-shirt. I think that’ll be safe for almost any location.

I’m not sure what he wants to talk about, and I have no idea how I’ll be able to focus on what he wants to talk about.

With shaking hands, I struggle to put my hair up in a ponytail.

I grumble as I head downstairs for coffee. Hopefully if I drink enough, it will clear some of the fog.

              “What are you up so early for?” Leland’s voice sounds like a drum in an empty auditorium, causing me to scream like a little girl and nearly jump out of my skin.

             
“Leland!” I pat my chest, willing my heartbeat to slow. “Don’t do that!”

             
“Sorry, Squirt, I thought you heard Alex yammering away,” he laughs. “You okay?”

             
“Yeah, I’m just nervous about today,” I admit, with a shaky laugh.

             
“And what time is Seth coming?” he grins.

             
“In like.” I glance at the clock on the stove. “Ten minutes!” I nearly shout when I notice the time.

             
“Where you guys going?”

             
“I have no clue. I’ll text you the address of wherever we end up, and let Henry know, too.” Hopefully, this will be enough to get the parental tone out of Leland’s voice.

             
“Have fun, but not too much fun.” He winks.

             
“Whatever,” I snort. “Thank you,” I say as I bump his shoulder.

             
He raises a brow. “For what?”

             
I smile. “For not grabbing my phone to make sure I had your number pre-programmed, like Henry did,” I say, with a much less nervous laugh.

             
He laughs too, just as the doorbell rings.

             
I run to the door and yank it open. My nervousness fades entirely when I see Seth’s bright green eyes and warm smile.

“Let’s go, preferably before my uncle tries to talk to us about the birds and the bees,” I say. I’m surprised I can even keep my face straight.

              “Hey!” Leland shouts, as he enters the living room with an unmistakable look of mischief on his face. “Invite your friend in for a minute. I promise I won’t say a word about the diapered years, or how you used to-” he’s cut off. “Oomph!”

I look over to see Henry laughing in the corner, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out he tossed his football and hit Leland in the gut.

I laugh. “Thanks, Henry!” I look at Seth. “Come in, I guess. Welcome to the nut house,” I say loud enough for Leland and Henry to hear. “This is Leland, and the munchkin is Alex. And you already know Henry. Leland, this is my friend, Seth.”

             
“Pleasure to meet you, sir,” Seth says to Leland. He shakes his hand and squats down to Alex’s level. He tickles Alex, making him giggle. I can’t help smiling at their interaction.

             
Leland sets us free after a few minutes. He just wanted to remind Seth to do the speed limit and that I have a curfew. He also slipped in a “I know people, you can’t hide,” warning.

“Where are we off to?” I ask.

              He opens the passenger door for me. “I thought we could head out to Lake Arthur. Maybe rent a boat,” he tells me, before shutting my door. I watch him walk around the car and get in. “I know you like water, and it’ll be quiet enough for privacy. We’ll have plenty of time for you to ask all the questions I’m sure you’ll have.” He winks at me as we travel down the road.

             
A bundle of nerves seems to lodge in my throat, preventing me from saying a word in response. He and I… Alone… Privacy… The words swirl in my head, making me grateful that I’m already sitting.

To give me time to collect myself, I pull out my phone and let Leland and Henry know where we are headed.

NO! Come back, that’s too far!
– from Henry.

Have a good time at the lake Jaz, ignore your brother.
– from Leland.

             
Swallowing my panic and giddiness, I decide to lighten the mood. “Do you really want to talk or are you just using this as an excuse to get me to go on a date with you?”

             
“I do have some fairly important things to discuss with you, but if you’d like, we can save it for another day and make this a date,” he answers, while not taking his eyes from the road.

             
“Fine, talk first. If you’re lucky, I might give you my number.” I laugh.

             
“I don’t need your number,” he says quietly.

I’m confused. He didn’t say
want
. He said
need
.

He glances my way. “Get that frown off your face. Just because I don’t need your number, doesn’t mean I don’t want it.” He reaches over and pats my hand before going back to the gear shifter.

His touch was warm and left a tingling sensation on my skin. For all of two seconds I felt whole again and now I feel like I’m aching. I pinch my thigh through my jeans.

What kind of girly little crush do I have?

              “Why wouldn’t you
need
my number?” I ask, trying to shake off the strange ache.

             
“I’ll explain that when we get to the lake. I think I’m going to start this conversation where you can’t run away from me.”

             
“I can’t run anywhere now,” I point out.

             
He sighs. “This is going to be difficult for me to tell you, like it was difficult for you to tell Skeeter and me yesterday.” He glances my way and then looks back to the road. “It has several consequences and outcomes. In fact, I had to travel to get permission to tell you to begin with.” He turns the radio on, leaving me with my thoughts.

             
Now I’m starting to worry on top of being nervous as hell.

Why do I need to be on a boat in the middle of a large lake before he sheds any light on this? Who did he need permission from and why did he need it?

God, I hope he’s not a serial killer.

Maybe his mom was abducted by aliens or his dad kidnapped some king’s son. Maybe I should’ve insisted we stay closer to home, closer to Henry. Maybe he…

I’m going to give myself a migraine by the time we get to the damn lake! Then he’ll have to take me back home, and I’ll never find out what’s going on in his head.

I glare over at Seth, and he’s chuckling. I turn down the radio and ask him what’s so funny.

              “Just a random thought, that’s all.” He turns the radio back up.

             
Fine then, no talking.

I watch him as he drives. Seeing the veins in his arm pop out as he turns the wheel and the muscles ripple when he shifts a gear, I wonder what those arms would feel like wrapped around…
Stop it!

Every damn time I’m around him, I think like a pervert! I inwardly growl and press my head back onto the headrest. I’ll just look out the window then.

Trees are in no way erotic, or sensual, or perverted.

Focusing on the trees is easy, but I can still smell him. His amazing smelling cologne mixed with his clean, spicy scent assaults my nose and begs me to lean in close. This car ride is taking forever.

The longer it takes, the more nervous I get. I shift in my seat, cross and uncross my legs, and bite my lip as I stare at endless trees.

             
‘
The way she bites her lip makes me want to pull the car over and…
’

             
I gasp, and choke on my breath or saliva.

What was that?!

Who was that?

             
“Jaz, are you okay? Do I need to pull the car over?”

I stare at him with saucer-like eyes. Oh, my God, “
pull the car over
.” It was him, he was in my head.

His voice, in my freaking head!

              “Stop the car! Stop the car, now!”

             
He glances in my direction looking concerned. “We’re about five minutes to the lake. Can’t you…”

             
“Stop. The. Car. Seth.” I demand between rasping breaths.

             
He pulls over alongside the road. There’s a fallen tree next to the car on my side, but there’s enough room for me to open the door. I wrench that sucker open and stumble out.

I need a minute to myself. Or twenty.

I walk towards the back of the car, step over the log and sit on it so I’m facing the trees, and away from him.

             
Good Lord, I just heard his voice in my head.

Was that really his thought? Can I hear thoughts now? Wouldn’t that be mind reading?

Wow, maybe I am crazy.

Mind readers don’t exist.

Henry will have to admit me to the hospital, and I’ll share a room with Mom. Maybe I’ll have my own room, and the walls will be padded. I’ll get a straightjacket, and they’ll have to give some really strong medicine to knock me out.

Was I really biting my lip at the time?

Should I ask him if he thought that?

Oh, my God! No, I cannot ask him that!

He’ll think I’m a loon for sure! Maybe I should test it first. I’ll bite my lip and see if that voice pops in my head again.

I lean on my knees and put my head in my hands.

This is ridiculous! Just get back in the car you’re being a jagoff!

             
I resist the urge to pull my hair out, and with a sigh, I stand. When I step back over the log, I look up to see Seth leaning against his back bumper, watching me.

             
“Is everything okay?” he asks me slowly, like if he talks too fast I might run away. He has his arms crossed over his chest.

His muscular arms, over that perfect...
Stop it already!

I squeeze my eyes shut. “Umm…well…” I take a deep breath, open my eyes, and look at him. Gathering whatever courage I can conjure up, I bite my lip on purpose.

He shifts a tiny bit and licks his lips.

It really was him in my head! I wasn’t hearing things! I was hearing him!

He takes a step towards me, and I take one back. But I forget about the log and end up landing on my ass with my legs draped over the log. I burst out laughing, and Seth laughs, too.

He reaches out his hand to help me up. With him laughing this hard, it’s easy to knock him off balance and pull him down to me. So I do.

              It feels nice having him like this, the pressure of his body on mine. I have one hand on his chest, the other grips his bicep.

Suddenly, we aren’t laughing anymore. We’re just staring into each other’s eyes. He leans down towards me, and I bite my lip again. He groans and closes his eyes as he gets closer to my mouth.

              “I heard you, Seth,” I whisper against his lips.

Because I’m an idiot, I had to ruin this amazing moment.

His eyes pop open. “What?” he whispers back, his eyes searching mine.

             
“In the car, the reason I had you pull over.” I sigh and wiggle out from under him. I sit up, and he sits on the log in front of me. He looks as confused as I feel.

             
“I said a lot of things in the car, Jaz,” he says.

             
I nod. “Yeah, but what I heard, you didn’t
say
. Seth I
heard
you when you didn’t speak!” I stare into his widened eyes, and he swallows loudly.

             
“What exactly did you hear?”

             
“Well, I’m nervous, and I was biting my lip. And I heard a voice, in my mind. But not just any voice, Seth. It was
your
voice, in
my
head. You said, ‘The way she bites her lip makes me want to pull the car over and…’” I’m stopped by his lips crushing to mine.

His lips are firm, yet soft, and he tastes like honey. He snakes an arm around my back and moves a tingling hand to my jaw, angling my face how he wants it. I kiss him back as I press myself closer to him, one hand on his chest, the other going into his soft hair.

My entire body is tingling.

I sigh, a little girly-like, and he moans into my mouth. When he pulls back, we’re both breathless.

              “Wow,” I say, breathlessly and press my face to his chest. “I really have gone crazy.” It comes out like a mumble, which is totally fine because I’m talking to myself.