True Valor (13 page)

She saw the postscript and laughed.

“PS What do you think is going on with Jill and Wol
f
?”

She reached for a pen and paper.

Thirteen

* * *

NORFOLK, VIRGINIA

She was in love with the dog. Jill held open the back door and waited for the yellow Labrador to consider the steps. Bruce had gotten himself a dog that had to be a hundred dog years old. “Come on, honey.”

Jill had a vet visit scheduled for tomorrow. If arthritis could be ruled out—the dog still occasionally ran acting like a puppy—maybe it was cataracts. Jill had begun to suspect the dog was depending on hearing and smell to find her way around.

Emily preceded her into the kitchen. It was nice to have the company. Jill set down the grocery sacks she carried on the counter. Fitting in a stop to the grocery store had meant a very early morning, but she’d been out of eggs and bread and she wanted an omelet for breakfast.

On her docket this morning was cleaning up Seaman Tyler Jones’s apartment. The crime scene technicians had been thorough; there was fingerprint dust everywhere. At the hardware store last night she’d found paint to touch up the walls. She hoped to hear today from the insurance agent with the initial paperwork. She’d go shopping this weekend to start replacing stolen items.

This afternoon the subcontractor was finishing the counter addition to the receptionist area at her newly leased offices. She was finally seeing light at the end of what had been a yearlong effort to get offices for herself and Terri closer to their clients. The day’s schedule made her tired before it even began.

“Do you want lamb or roast beef?” She offered the two tins. Since Bruce was paying for the upkeep, the dog was eating top-of-the-line food. “Lamb? Lamb it is.”

She fed the dog and put away the groceries.

Pausing at the calendar on the wall, she drew a big X through May 11. Only thirty-two days left until Wolf was home, forty-eight days to Bruce. From the fabric-covered box on the counter by the toaster she pulled out a folded slip of paper, then leaned her elbows against the counter as she opened and read it. Her laughter startled the dog. “Sorry, Emily.” She held up the piece of paper. “The treat for today is a trip to Grace’s to measure the windows for new blinds. Rather a dud, huh?” Emily came over and Jill reached down to stroke her coat. “I agree—not on par with a trip to the park. I wore you out yesterday. Today you can just curl up and sleep while I work.” She’d fit in the stop at Grace’s on her way to the new offices.

Adding the slip to her day planner, she started fixing an omelet, humming along with the song on the radio.

She’d missed Wolf’s call. She was still kicking herself about it. She’d been busy with the police, so it hadn’t been her choice. She was going to have to find something to send in his next care package as a special apology. She had finally changed message tapes not wanting to erase Wolf’s message but not wanting to hear again his voice change from expectation to disappointment when he realized she wasn’t home to take the call.

He was doing fine. It was hot. He’d run into Bruce and Bruce was fine. He’d gotten her last package, and had she gotten his last letter? He’d try to call again but didn’t know when he’d be somewhere he could. He missed her.

Did he have to add those last three words?

She missed him like crazy. She might as well pack up her social life while a deployment was under way. The important people in her life were overseas and her life had shifted to supporting them. There was a three-month tour party for the stateside families coming up. She would use it to get big greeting cards signed for each squadron, take lots of pictures, and have videotape greetings made that could get passed around the ready rooms. She ate her breakfast while making lists, trying to decide on games for the kids.

A glance at her watch had her pushing back her chair. “Emily, ready to go?” The dog was under the kitchen table, never one to move far afield.

Jill carried out the kitchen trash. The sack tore as she tried to force it into the metal can. The phone rang in the house. She looked with frustration at what had to be picked up, at the distance to the house. She left it and hurried up the stairs hoping the dog wouldn’t get curious, eat some of it, and get sick.

“Hello?” She was out of breath and didn’t hear a reply; she heard only static. “Hello?”

“Jill?”

There was an echo, but it was Wolf’s voice. “Wolf. Hello!” The nearest chairs in reach were full. She sank to the floor leaning against the wall, holding the phone tight. “Where are—”

“Jill, it’s Wolf.”

There was a delay to the words; they were speaking on top of each other. She bit her lip as she waited for him to take the lead in the conversation.

“I missed you last time. I was worried.”

Always be honest, Grace counseled, but this was a lousy time to try and explain there had been three burglaries. She didn’t want him worrying about her; even more she didn’t want to lose precious moments in a phone call over the issue. “I was late getting back from a client.” It wasn’t a good answer, but it wasn’t a lie either. She hated the fact the answer suggested he hadn’t been a high enough priority in her day to make sure she was there for his call.

“Did—see the news?”

“Something’s happened.” She scrambled to reach the remote on the counter.

“Bruce is fine. Grace is fine. They hit—radar in—”

She was losing him and it wasn’t fair. “What happened?” The TV clicked on and she muted it. CNN showed breaking news at the bottom and a Pentagon spokesman on the screen.

“Everybody is fine. B— connection. I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” she raised her voice to promise.

She was listening to only static again. After a minute she accepted reality and hung up the phone. She waited ten minutes and it didn’t ring again. The Pentagon spokesman was talking about strikes over Iraq to suppress antiaircraft artillery sites. She shut it off, finding it distressing to watch. It was after 2 a.m. in Turkey. Wolf had been calling her after the completion of his mission.

Lord, I hate living with the constant uncertainty of what might happen to them. It’s making me a stressed-out wreck.
She wiped angrily at tears that had formed. Her sense of having today under control was gone.
Thank You for keeping them safe.
She was kidding herself to suggest she could handle this kind of relationship.

A strike in Iraq meant Terri would be swamped at the office today with calls from relatives wanting to send special messages to those on the
GW.
Jill had her own set of messages to send, some of which could go over by e-mail and others by mail, a note to wish them well and let them know how the news was playing at home. Some of the kids in Grace’s flying club were so uptight about her being gone that they called Jill every week to see if she had heard anything. She’d need to call them today. Unfortunately she had executed this contingency plan before.

She wanted them home. She so desperately wanted them home. She wished they were civilians.

She picked up her purse and keys. The dog had stretched out on the top step of the porch. There was salsa on her muzzle. Jill sat down beside the dog and buried her face in the warm coat.

I want to be confident and solid. It’s not fair that they can handle it and I’m the weak link. I just want some security. I’m tired of getting scared.

She pushed herself to her feet and went to clean up the trash.

INCIRLIK AIR BASE, TURKEY

Bruce stepped back when he realized Wolf was talking with Jill. He walked over to the bench across from the kiosk and sat down to wait. Wolf eventually hung up the phone and walked over.

“How is she?”

“The connection was lousy.”

Bruce waited but Wolf didn’t say anything more. “Think I could get through?”

“I tried calling back several times and just got dead air. I’d suggest you try in the morning before we leave. Do we go look at Gracie’s plane?”

Bruce looked at Wolf, trying to figure out why he was changing the subject. The man was uptight, and it had been his sister at the other end of the phone call. “No, I don’t know that I could handle seeing the plane tonight.” He didn’t think Wolf could handle it.

Wolf sat down beside him. “We should find that dorm room and call it a night. I’m beat.”

“Jill okay?”

“She hadn’t heard the news about the strike yet.”

“Oh.”

Wolf stared at his boots and shook his head. “Now she’ll worry.”

“She’ll handle it.” It wasn’t much of a consolation. She wouldn’t have a choice about the matter. Bruce felt for his sister, knowing how difficult this would be for her. CNN would probably stay on this story for the better part of the next couple days, and Stateside Support, Inc., would have to handle a deluge of inquiries.

“She missed my earlier call because she was late getting back from a client.”

“It was probably unavoidable.”

“
She
suggested the time.”

Bruce blinked. Wolf was ticked. Mad at himself, mad at the situation, mad he hadn’t been able to talk to Jill before the strike happened. Bruce sighed, understanding entirely. Jill was half a world away, and there was nothing Wolf could do to help reassure her. “Not the conversation you were expecting.”

“No.”

Something had to be done. Bruce rubbed his sore hand. “Are you going to marry her?” He caught Wolf off guard with the question. He was ready to turn Wolf’s life upside down a bit. It was time.

Wolf gave a rueful smile. “I didn’t figure you’d be too thrilled about the idea.”

“I’m not sure that I am. But limbo isn’t working too well for either one of you. She’s going to be thirty next week,” Bruce pointed out. “It might be easier to handle the separations if she knew you were hers when you were home.”

“Her biggest problem isn’t the separations, but accepting we would probably be moving every few years. She’s got bitter memories from her childhood about all the friends she lost over the years.”

“She’s snowing you. Everyone moves. She’s better equipped now than she ever was before to be able to plug herself into the military communities quickly and to keep friendships strong. She’s still just not sure about accepting military life.”

“At least she let me take her window-shopping for rings.”

“Did she?” He wanted to push things along, but he didn’t like finding he was out of the loop.

“She’s thinking about it.” Wolf looked at him. “Tonight obviously shook you up. Anything else?”

“Yes.” Bruce stepped out on a limb of his own. “Tell me what happened with Grace and Ben.”

* * *

The early morning was humid warm. Where was Jill? Bruce stewed about it as he walked down to the flight line, frustrated that he had not been able to get ahold of her. She hadn’t been at her office and she hadn’t answered her cell phone. He dumped his gear in the back of the Pave Low helicopter. He was the first crewman to arrive; he’d left the other PJs finishing breakfast.

His helmet and vest were on the side bench. There was an envelope tucked in his helmet. Surprised, he took a seat and pulled it out. Grace’s handwriting. She’d gotten someone to deliver it? He had wanted to see her this morning but knew she’d be occupied with the maintenance chief and hustling to make her flight back to the
GW.
Wisdom had said it was better not to interrupt her job.

He opened the letter, curious to know what she had written early this morning. He read and his smile faded. Last night’s close call had caused ripples in his own life, in Wolf’s. It had also caused ripples in hers.

Bruce ~

You write a wonderful letter.

This will be a short note because I think I may be able to get it to you before you leave in the morning. I want to say at the start that I’ve learned a lot of things about life from the guys in my life—my dad, Wolf, Ben. I learned something from you tonight.

Ben—he taught me how to handle the danger, to understand it and minimize it, to train for every contingency, and to take a great deal of care so that those chains of failure that lead to a crisis get broken early.

Wolf—he taught me to love being in the military. He taught me to love being part of a bigger whole, to love being part of a team. Thank you for being part of that safety net. He can do his job because you are there to do yours. Thank you for giving me back Wolf.

John 14:27. What a great verse. I needed to hear it tonight. There hasn’t been much peace inside over the last couple years.

You mentioned the air show. Ben and I had our first fight on the trip out there. He wanted to get married and I didn’t see how it was possible. He worked and trained in Houston, launched from Cape Canaveral, Florida, and was coming up on a nine-month-long tour at the Russian training facility. I was based in Virginia and went to sea for six months at a time. It wouldn’t work. It was the only decision I could see at the time. Now it’s the one decision I deeply regret.

What’s your secret, Bruce? How do you make the pieces work? You have shown in the quiet way you play down Ecuador and the relaxed way you handled tonight that you are at peace. You’ve shown me it’s possible. I have a full life while at sea and an incomplete one stateside. But I don’t see how to have both when this job requires everything I feel I have to give. I can’t do it all.