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Authors: Alexei Maxim Russell

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BOOK: Trueman Bradley - Aspie Detective
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“Mr. Tritch? Can I ask Chief Stokowski a question?”

“Yes,” said Tritch.

“Thank you,” she said. “I’m a little bit confused. Did you just claim that you found Mr. Bradley’s scarf at a murder scene? And then you claimed you didn’t find his scarf? Did you just contradict yourself? If so, were you lying about the scarf being at the murder scene? If so, did you just attempt to fabricate evidence against Mr. Bradley to make it seem like he was guilty of a murder he didn’t commit?”

The room was silent. Stokowski didn’t answer. He moved his shaky hands up to his face and wiped the sweat off his face.

“Listen…” said Stokowski.

The whole room was silent and the reporters’ pens were positioned to write down every word Stokowski said.

“…I have to use the bathroom,” said Stokowski.

Stokowski ran out of the courtroom.

“Stop!” said Tritch. “Stop him! I didn’t give you permission to leave! Stokowski!”

Stokowski’s footsteps could be heard down the corridor of the building, running out of the building.

“I don’t think he’s coming back,” said Buckley.

Tritch was standing and shaking. The anger and indignation on his face was so intense that it was easy to interpret.

“How dare he leave my court without permission!” said Tritch. “I’ll get him nailed for violation of human rights! I’ll get him nailed in criminal court for lying to an officer of the State Department! And I’ll see he gets convicted too!”

The reporters were writing energetically in their notebooks and talking to each other excitedly. Tritch sat and started writing something on a piece of paper. Occasionally, he would look with stern disapproval towards where Stokowski had run out of the courtroom. Finally, he stopped writing and stared directly at me.

“Mr. Trueman Bradley,” said Tritch. “Please stand up.”

I stood up and bowed my head.

“Given the evidence presented before me,” said Tritch, “I find no basis to uphold the charges against you. I dismiss all the charges laid against you by Chief Stokowski. You keep your agency license.”

Everyone cheered and applauded. I felt so relieved that I was unable to speak or react in any way. I stood, dazed, and could only manage to smile slightly. Nora ran from the witness box and threw her arms around me in a tight embrace.

“Quiet everyone,” said Tritch. “I would like to add, Mr. Bradley, that I find the behavior and motivations of Chief Stokowski very suspicious and I will be asking that his activities be investigated. I feel you were unjustly discriminated against and persecuted, and I will use what powers I have to see that Chief Stokowski does not get away with this. I will consider the recommendation of lodging complaints against him in both civil and criminal court.”

A male reporter stood up and spoke to the hearing officer.

“Pardon me, Mr. Tritch? I was wondering if we are allowed to report on this? What I mean is, can we put in the newspaper that Stokowski is charged with violating Trueman’s human rights and possibly of attempting to frame him for murder?”

“Yes, you can!” said Tritch. “In fact, I want you to report on it! I said I won’t let him get away with this. I want everyone to know. So please, put it in the newspaper!”

Gwen Tone stood up and spoke.

“Can I ask a question?”

“I suppose,” said Tritch.

“Well,” said Gwen, “we’ve gotten so many good stories out of this hearing! Trueman’s equations do work… Chief Stokowski is suspected of several crimes… Trueman’s amazing new inventions. These are great stories! But, I think I speak for every reporter here when I ask the following question…”

Gwen turned to face us and spoke to Nora.

“You’re Ms. Nora Lucca, right?” asked Gwen.

“Yes,” said Nora.

“Well,” said Gwen, “we’re just curious what you meant when you said, and I quote: ‘I wish there were more men in the world like Trueman.’ Did you mean that you’re in love with Trueman? Are you two a couple or romantically involved in any way?”

Nora stopped hugging me and walked a few feet away. Nora’s face was becoming red and I guessed that she was embarrassed.

The reporters all started laughing and writing in their notebooks. I could hear them whispering about Nora and me.

“I knew it,” whispered Gwen. “They are a couple!”

Nora turned to look at the hearing officer.

“Do I have to answer these questions?” asked Nora.

Tritch laughed and started organizing his papers.

“No,” said Tritch. “These questions are starting to get a little bit off topic. Ladies and gentlemen of the press, if you have any more questions for these people, please go ask them outside; this hearing is over! Let’s all get out of here. A criminal case will be happening here in only an hour’s time!”

Tritch hastily packed his papers into his briefcase and walked out of the courtroom. Buckley grabbed my shoulder and led me out of the building, keeping reporters away from me with a protective hand.

Outside the building, the day was sunny and bright; the air was cool and pleasant-smelling. I had never seen a more beautiful day in New York City. We walked towards the Lincoln car and I began to realize the day seemed so beautiful to me because I was so happy and relieved. Not only had I avoided having my license revoked, Stokowski, my enemy, had been disgraced; the media once again thought I was a genius and Nora had even shown some signs of loving me more than I’d dared to hope she would. I was so full of bliss I felt like I was floating over the sidewalk. Even the noise of the media and the flashes of their cameras didn’t upset me. I stopped walking, right in front of our Lincoln car and even let the media take my photo. I smiled and waved for the cameras.

“Trueman!” said Gwen, who was approaching me with an audio tape recorder. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure!” I said.

“Are you and Nora a couple?” asked Gwen.

“No, I’m single,” I said.

Gwen smiled at me and touched my shoulder.

“I don’t believe it!” said Gwen. “A handsome guy like you, still single?”

Nora moved between Gwen and me and pushed her back.

“Leave Trueman alone!” said Nora. “He’s had a hard day and he’s in no condition to answer questions!”

“Ah, jealous are you?” asked Gwen. “See, guys, I told you she was in love with him!”

Nora’s face became red and she helped me get into the car.

As we drove away, the sun shone through the window and onto my face. I closed my eyes and savored the warmth. After many worrying surprises, everything had become perfect again. I wanted to stop my life and stay in this perfect moment forever. I thought about my new invention and realized, with joy, that I would never need to enter an unpredictable situation again.

“The surprise revealer will keep these situations away,” I whispered to myself. “This is the last unexpected situation I’ll ever need to endure. I’ve endured my last big surprise.”

14
One More Big Surprise

It was a rainy afternoon on Reade Street, and we were all seated around a table, playing poker. I thought about the past, when this office was dirty and empty; I thought about the first poker game I played here, with my friends. Mrs. Levi, Nora, Buckley and I had been sitting here for hours. We had locked the front door and turned off all the telephones, so we wouldn’t be disturbed by clients, visitors or media people. After all these days of activity and conflict, it was nice for me to sit down with my friends and have a relaxing time, playing cards.

Buckley put his cards on the table.

“Four kings!” said Buckley. “Beat that.”

I looked at my cards. I had another royal flush, the best hand in poker. My hand beat Buckley’s hand, again. I had already beaten him fifteen times, and I wondered if I should pretend he beat me, so he wouldn’t get depressed. But I remembered the advice of my granddad.

“I’m sorry, Detective,” I said. “My granddad told me never to tell a lie. So, I have to admit… I beat you again.”

I put my cards on the table and Buckley groaned.

“You’ve had twelve royal flushes!” said Buckley.

“Yes,” I said.

Buckley sighed.

“I don’t know how you do it,” he said.

Sal, who had gone out to buy a newspaper, appeared at the door and walked towards us. He had an excited look on his face.

“Trueman!” said Sal. “Look at this! Another story about you in the newspaper! This time you’re on the front page!”

I looked at the front page and saw a story about me printed in a little box at the bottom of the page.

“Genius detective, Trueman Bradley,” I read aloud, “works on his latest equation: Trueman + Nora = Love?”

Everyone laughed and Nora’s face became red. She grabbed the newspaper from me and read it.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“It means Mrs. Nora is in love with Mr. Trueman!” said Sal.

“Quiet, Sal!” said Nora. “This is written by that annoying reporter, Gwen Tone! How can she get away with writing gossip like that? I’m gonna write the editor and complain!”

Mrs. Levi started giggling. Nora looked at her, with a look I couldn’t interpret. Soon, everyone except Nora was giggling. I wasn’t sure what was funny, but I looked at Nora and smiled.

“I don’t see what’s so funny about it,” said Nora.

Although she said this, the smile on her face told me otherwise. I could recognize signs of amusement on her face.

“Another royal flush!” said Buckley.

“Yes,” I said. “I win again.”

“Thirteen royal flushes!” said Buckley. “How do you do that?”

“It’s not very hard to win at poker,” I said. “There are really very few variables. A simple equation is sufficient.”

“Well, at least none of us ever have to worry about our retirement!” said Buckley.

“Retirement?” I asked. “What do you mean?”

“Well, we don’t have to worry about having money when we’re really old!” said Buckley. “We’ll just take you to the casino and we’ll make enough money to last the rest of our lives! You could probably make a million dollars in one hour at a casino.”

“Hm, I didn’t think of that,” I said. “I can make an equation, or create a machine to win at gambling. I’ll call it the ‘retirement machine’!”

Everyone laughed.

“I’ll take one of those!” said Sal. “I should have retired last year! Me and Mrs. Levi can take a holiday to Hawaii!”

“I’m not that old, Sal!” said Mrs. Levi.

“You don’t look a day over thirty-five, Mrs. Levi,” said Buckley.

“Oh, thank you, Detective,” said Mrs. Levi. “Here, have another piece of cake.”

Mrs. Levi passed Buckley a piece of cake and he thanked her warmly. I felt very peaceful, knowing that my friends were all friendly with each other and were having a good time together. I could easily interpret the happiness on their faces.

“Detective,” said Mrs. Levi, “you said ‘we’ don’t have to worry about our retirement. Does that mean you’re planning on staying with us for a while?”

Buckley’s face changed and I couldn’t interpret his emotions. It was similar to the face made by people who were in pain. My granddad used to make that face after eating hot peppers. He said it was caused by the pain of his heartburn.

“Do you want a pill?” I asked.

“What?” asked Buckley.

“We have pills in the bathroom if you want,” I said. “For your heartburn. We have pills that cure heartburn.”

“Heartburn?” asked Buckley.

“Don’t you know what heartburn is?” I asked. “It is also called ‘acid reflux.’ It is caused by stomach acids accidently burning the esophagus. Sometimes caused by eating hot foods…”

“Trueman!” said Buckley. “I know what heartburn is. But I don’t have heartburn, okay? I was just thinking about something. There’s something I’ve been hesitating to say.”

“Oh…” I said. I tried to remember this, for future reference, that people made that particular face when they had heartburn and also when they were hesitating to say something.

“Hesitating?” I asked. “Well then, spit it out!” I said, using the expression I had learned from Dr. Rozzozzo.

“Okay,” said Buckley. “Well, I was thinking. Since I’ve got no job, at present, and since I’m pretty sure your agency could use the help of an experienced detective…”

“Oh, my God!” said Nora. “You want to work for us?”

I had no idea how Nora had guessed this, but the thought of Buckley working for our agency was so exciting, it caused me to drop my cup and my tea spilled all over the table. My tea cup rolled off the table and hit the ground.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” I shouted.

Everyone collected the cards off the table, so they wouldn’t get wet, and Mrs. Levi wiped the table dry.

“Detective, I’m so happy to hear that!” said Mrs. Levi.

“Yes, sir!” said Sal. “This is great news!”

I went down on the floor to find my tea cup, which had not been broken. I examined it closely, but there were no cracks in it. My granddad had told me a superstition: if you drop a tea cup and it doesn’t break, it means good luck with whatever you will be doing in the near future.

“This is good luck!” I said, holding up the cup. “I’m happy you’re joining us, Detective Buckley! Thank you!”

“My pleasure, Trueman,” said Buckley. “I know you guys could use my help. I can teach you all about what real detective work is all about. And you guys could probably teach me a few things too. Trueman, I know, can teach me a lot! In the short time I’ve known you people, I have to say I’m enjoying working with you. I have a feeling I’m gonna like it here.”

Nora and Mrs. Levi embraced Buckley and Sal gave him a pat on the back. I was smiling widely and I hoped that was enough for Buckley to know how appreciative I was for his support and his friendship. Not only did I succeed in my attempt to become a detective, I got a real-life police detective as my partner! I was so grateful to him, I decided to let him win at poker. I didn’t need to lie about winning. The next time we played a round of poker, I purposely tried to get only the worst cards.

“I’m grateful to you,” I said.

“Who, me?” asked Buckley. “Forget about it, Trueman.”

“I’m glad to have a real policeman as my partner,” I said.

“Yeah,” said Buckley. “I know a lot about this work.”

“No,” I said.

“What?” asked Buckley. “You’re saying I don’t know a lot?”

“I don’t mean that!” I said. “Yes, you know a lot. That’s not what I meant. When I said ‘no,’ I meant ‘no, that’s not why I’m glad.’ I’m glad because now I am really like Dick Tracy. Because he also had a partner who was a policeman.”

“Yeah!” said Sal. “Sam Catchem was his name!”

“Yes, Detective Buckley,” I said. “You’re Sam Catchem!”

“Still talking about those comic book detectives, huh, Trueman?” asked Buckley. “Well, as a matter of fact, my first name is Sam. And please, you all call me Sam, okay? No more of this ‘Detective Buckley’ stuff. We’re all friends here.”

I smiled widely. His first name was Sam. It was as if destiny had intended for him to be Sam Catchem. Everything was perfect. Even the sound of the rain on the windows seemed perfectly rhythmic, as if they were not random raindrops, but were ordered mathematically and were flawlessly sounding their percussion rhythm against the window panes. The sound of the rain and the laughter of my friends soothed me and calmed my mind. I wanted to stop time and preserve this perfect day.

“Three jacks!” said Buckley. “I have a feeling I’m gonna lose. I know you’re going to beat me, Trueman. I’m just wondering how bad, is all. Another royal flush, I’m guessing?”

I put my cards on the table. Buckley stared at them.

“A pair of threes?” asked Buckley.

“That’s right, Detective,” I said. “You win.”

Buckley shook his head and frowned.

“I’m not stupid, Trueman,” said Buckley. “I know you’re letting me win. And call me Sam, okay?”

“Can I call you Sam Catchem?” I asked.

Buckley looked at me and I couldn’t interpret his emotion. But, before he could speak and make it clear to me, we were interrupted by an explosion of noise. It was so loud and horrifying that I fell to the floor and covered my head with my trench coat. I lay there, screaming, until it was over.

“What the hell is that?” shouted Buckley.

“Trueman!” shouted Nora. “Are you okay?”

I had closed my eyes tightly. When I felt Nora’s comforting arms around me and the noises ceased, I dared to open my eyes. I peeked out from under my trench coat, expecting to see the entire office destroyed and smoke rising from the burning rubble. The noise had been so loud, I imagined a plane had crashed into the office building. To my surprise, the office was perfectly in order and nothing was smashed or burned.

“What happened?” I asked.

“I don’t know!” said Nora. “I think the noise came from outside. Buckley and Sal went to check it out!”

“Oh, dear!” said Mrs. Levi. “What could make such a commotion? It sounds like a meteor crashed on Reade Street!”

“No!” I said. “The ratio chance of our house being hit by a meteor is 182,138,880,000,000 to 1! It’s almost impossible!”

Sal walked into the room. I couldn’t interpret the emotions on his face, but I had a feeling he had bad news.

“Boss, you better come out and see this,” said Sal.

Nora grabbed my arm and led me out of the building. Outside, the rain was falling and the grayness of the cloudy sky made what I saw seem even more depressing.

Our neon sign had been destroyed. Pieces of glass and metal were all that remained of our agency sign. The remnants were all over the sidewalk. Only a few wires, giving off electrical sparks, remained on the side of our building. I was so shocked to see that our sign was destroyed that I couldn’t react. I stood in the rain, silent and afraid.

“What was it?” asked Nora. “Lightning?”

“I don’t know for sure,” said Buckley. “But I’ve got a hunch. Give me a minute and I’ll know if my hunch is correct.”

Buckley climbed on top of a nearby garbage can and examined the wall near where the sign had been.

“Lightning?” I asked. “I don’t understand. Maybe the electricity in the sign increases the likelihood of it being hit by lightning. But it’s still very unlikely we’d be so unlucky!”

“It wasn’t lightning,” said Buckley.

Buckley jumped off the garbage can. He walked towards us and made a face that I interpreted as being very serious.

“Trueman,” said Buckley, “everyone, I think we should get inside. Let’s get off the street.”

“Why?” asked Nora.

“Because,” said Buckley, “someone shot that sign with some kind of gun. Seems like a machine gun of some kind. An automatic weapon. I don’t want them shooting one of us!”

I heard a squealing noise. A car was speeding towards us and its tires squealed as they spun along the rain-soaked streets. Buckley pushed us back with his arm and pulled his gun from its holster. He pointed it at the approaching car.

“What is it?” I asked. “What’s wrong?”

The car drove nearer to us and I noticed it was being driven by an elderly lady. I could recognize the look of shock on her face when she saw Buckley’s gun. She drove away, in a hurry, and Buckley holstered his gun. His face was red.

“Oops!” said Buckley. “Well, you can’t be too careful. Anyways, let’s get inside, okay?”

The squealing noises, Buckley’s comment about guns and my own confusion made me nervous. I covered my ears and Nora led me back into the agency building.

“No!” I said. “The surprises are supposed to be over!”

“What did you say, Trueman?” asked Nora.

“I said the surprises are supposed to be over!” I said. “I sent Rozzozzo the details of my new invention. The ‘surprise revealer’ invention will stop all unexpected events like this! I thought if I stayed home and didn’t go anywhere I could avoid any surprises until Rozzozzo calls to say she’s done the surprise revealer! But now, this horrible surprise has come!”

“Oh!” said Sal. “Mr. Bradley, that reminds me…”

“What?” I asked.

“Dr. Rozzozzo called,” said Sal. “She said she’s coming over to talk to you. She’s said something about having ‘done the invention.’”

“What?” I asked. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Sorry, boss,” said Sal. “I forgot.”

I was annoyed that Sal forgot something that was so important to me, but I was overjoyed to realize the surprise revealer was ready and my days of enduring surprises were over.

“Well, that’s okay, Sal,” I said. “I forgive you. I don’t mind this stress, as this will probably be the final surprise.”

Nora led me to a chair and wrapped a blanket around me.

“Now, you relax, Trueman,” said Nora. “I know this kind of thing is stressful for you. Just sit down here, in front of the window, and let the sound of the rain calm and soothe you. We’ll call the police and take care of this problem. Okay?”

“Yes,” I said. “I’ll sit for a while.”

“I’ll make you some fresh tea!” said Mrs. Levi.

I listened to the calming music of the rain and watched the little raindrops as they slid down the window pane, making an endless pattern of random pathways on the glass. It was relaxing to watch the rain and ignore the world outside myself. If I could wait here, in this safe place, until Rozzozzo arrived with the surprise revealer, then I could avoid the need to experience any more unpleasant surprises.

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