Truly Madly Yours (32 page)

Gwen’s lips pursed and she folded her arms over her breasts. “We’ll talk about this later.”

Nick’s hand fell away. “If you don’t want to see my bare ass, then you better leave the room while I get dressed.”

The tone of his voice was razor-sharp. She’d heard it once before. The last time the three of them had been in Henry’s office. The day the will had been read. Delaney couldn’t blame him for being edgy. The situation was unbearably awkward, and her mother brought out the worst in some people under the best of circumstances.

As soon as Gwen turned on her heel, Delaney spun around. “I’m sorry, Nick. I’m sorry she said those thing to you, and I promise I won’t let her do anything to jeopardize what Henry left you.”

“Forget about it.” He found his pants and shoved his legs inside. They dressed in silence, and when she walked him to the front door, he left quickly and neglected to kiss her good-bye. She told herself it didn’t matter and went in search of her mother. Gwen wasn’t going to like what she had to say, but Delaney had quit living her life for her mother a long time ago. She found her in the kitchen, waiting.

“Why are you home, Mom?”

“I’ve discovered that Max is not the man for me. He’s too critical,” she said through clenched jaws. “Never mind about that now. What was that
man
doing in my house?”

“I told you, he was spending Christmas with me.”

“I thought that was his Jeep parked in front of the garage, but I was sure I had to be mistaken. Not in a million years did I expect to find him . .. you ... in my home. Nick Allegrezza of all men. He’s—”

“I’m in love with him,” Delaney interrupted.

Gwen grabbed the back of a kitchen chair. “That is not funny. You’re just saying it get back at me. You’re angry with me because I left you alone for Christmas.”

Sometimes her mother’s logic boggled the mind, but it was always predictable. “My feelings for Nick have nothing to do with you. I want to be with him, and I’m going to be with him.”

“I see.” Her mother’s face hardened. “Are you saying you don’t care how I feel about it?”

“Of course I care. I don’t want you to hate the man I love. I know you can’t be really happy for me right now, but maybe you could just accept that I am involved with Nick, and I’m happy with him.”

“That’s impossible. You can’t be happy with a man like Nick. Don’t do this to yourself or your family.”

Delaney shook her head and her crown slid to one side. She pulled it from her head and brushed her fingers across the cool rhinestones. It was no use. Her mother would never change. “Henry’s dead. I am your only family now.” She looked up at Gwen. “I want Nick. Don’t make me choose.”

He’d known better. For the past few days he’d lived his fantasy. He’d held her while she’d slept in that tiny pink bed and let himself imagine a house, and a dog, and a couple of kids. He’d let himself imagine her in his life, for the rest of his life, and he’d wanted it more than breathing.

Once I leave in June, you’ll never see me. If you thought you never saw me after I left ten years ago, you just wait. When I leave this time, I won’t tell you where I am. When I leave, I’ll have three million dollars and I’ll never come back to visit you.

He was a fool. He’d known she would leave, but he’d let himself start to think that he was enough to make her stay. She’d said she loved him. So had a lot of women at that particular moment, when he’d been buried inside giving them both pleasure. It didn’t always mean anything, and he wasn’t the kind of guy to wait around and watch for signs from the buckbrush to see if it did.

The doorbell rang and he expected to see Delaney. He found Gail instead.

“Merry Christmas,” she said and held a brightly colored box toward him. He let her in because he needed a distraction.

“I didn’t get you anything.” He hung her coat by the door, then led her into the kitchen.

“That’s okay. It’s just cookies, nothing big. Josh and I had some extra.” Nick set the box on the counter and looked her over. She wore a tight red dress and red stiletto heels. He’d bet she had on her red garter and nothing else. She’d come over to deliver more than gingersnaps, but he wasn’t even mildly interested.

“Where is your son?”

“His daddy has him tonight. All night. I thought you and I could spend some quality time together in your hot tub.”

The doorbell rang for a second time in five minutes, and this time it was Delaney. She stood on his porch, a foil red present in her hands and a smile on her lips. Her smile died when Gail walked up behind him and hung her wrist over his shoulder. He could have removed it. He didn’t.

“Come on in,” he said. “Gail and I were just about to jump in the hot tub.”

“I—” Her stunned gaze moved between them. “I didn’t bring my swimsuit.”

“Neither did Gail.” He knew what she thought and he let her think it. “You won’t need one, either.”

“What’s going on, Nick?”

He wrapped an arm around Gail’s waist and pulled her up against his side. He took a drink from the bottle and looked at the woman he loved so much it was like a writhing ache in his chest. “You’re a big girl. Figure it out.”

“Why are you behaving this way? Are you angry about what happened earlier? I told you I’ll make sure my mother doesn’t say anything.”

“I don’t give a rat’s ass about any of that.” Even if he’d wanted to stop himself from hurting her, he couldn’t. He felt like a powerless kid again, watching her and wanting her so much it drove him crazy. “Why don’t you join us in the hot tub?”

She shook her head. “Three’s a crowd, Nick.”

“No, three’s one hell of a good time.” He knew he’d never forget the pain in her eyes, and he turned his gaze to Gail. “What do you say? Are you up for a threesome?”

“A—”

He looked back at Delaney and raised a brow. “Well?”

She lifted her free hand and grabbed her wool coat above her heart. She took a step backward and her mouth moved but no words came out. He watched her turn, the shiny red package forgotten in her hand, and run down the sidewalk to her car. Better to let her go before he begged her to stay. Better to end it now. Nick Allegrezza didn’t beg anyone to love him. He never had and he never would.

He made himself stand there, and he made himself watch her drive out of his life. He made himself feel his insides rip apart, then he handed Gail her coat. “I’m not good company,” he said, and for once she had the sense not to try and change his mind.

Alone, he walked into the kitchen and popped the cap off another beer. By midnight he’d graduated to Jim Beam. Nick wasn’t necessarily a mean drunk, but he was in a mean mood. He drank to forget, but the more he drank the more he remembered. He remembered the scent of her skin, the soft texture of her hair and the taste of her mouth. He fell asleep on the sofa with the sound of her laughter in his ears and his name on her lips. When he woke at eight, his head pounded, and knew he needed a little something for breakfast. He grabbed a bottle of Bufferin and added a little orange juice to his vodka. He was on his third drink and seventh aspirin when his brother walked into his house.

Nick lay sprawled on the leather couch, channel surfing with the remote to the big screen television in one hand. He didn’t bother to look up.

“You look like shit.”

Nick switched the channel and drained his glass. “Feel like shit, too, so why don’t you leave.”

Louie crossed to the television and shut it off. “We expected to see you last night for Christmas dinner.”

Nick set his empty glass and the remote on an end table. He finally looked at Louie standing there across the room, surrounded by a hazy glow, kind of like the picture of Jesus his mother had hanging on the wall in her dining room. “Didn’t make it.”

“Obviously. What’s going on?”

“None of your business.” His head pounded and he wanted to be left alone. Maybe if he stayed drunk for a couple of months, the alcohol would kill that persistent voice in his head that had started nagging him sometime around midnight, calling him an idiot and telling him he’d made the biggest mistake of his life.

“Lisa talked to Delaney this morning. I guess she’s pretty upset about something. Would you happen to know anything about that?”

“Yep.”

“Well—what did you do?”

Nick stood and the room spun twice before stopping. “Mind your own business.” He moved to walk past Louie, but his brother reached out and grabbed a fistful of his shirt. He looked down at Louie’s fingers tangled in his flannel, and he couldn’t believe it. The two of them hadn’t physically fought since they’d knocked their mother’s back door off the hinges fifteen years ago.

“What in the hell is wrong with you?” Louie began. “For most of your life you’ve wanted one thing. One. Delaney Shaw. As soon as it looks like you’re finally going to get what you want, you do something to screw it up. You hurt her on purpose so she’ll hate you. Just like always. And guess what? She does.”

“Why do you care?” Nick raised his gaze to his brother’s deep brown eyes. “You don’t even like her.”

“I like her okay, but how I feel doesn’t really matter. You’re in love with her.”

“Doesn’t matter. She’s leaving in June.”

“Did she say that?”

“Yep.”

“Did you ask her to stay? Did you try to work anything out with her?”

“It wouldn’t have made any difference.”

“You don’t know that, and instead of finding out, you’re going to let the one woman you’ve loved your whole life walk out. What’s that matter with you? Are you chicken shit?”

“Fuck you, Louie.” He barely saw Louie’s fist before he buried it in his face. Light exploded behind Nick’s eyes and he went down hard, cracking the back of his head on the wood floor. His vision darkened and he thought he might pass out. Unfortunately the exposed ceiling beams came into focus, and with his cleared vision, his skull felt like it had been split in two. His cheekbone began to throb, and his brain pounded. He groaned and gingerly touched his eye. “You’re a little prick, Louie, and when I get up, I’m gonna kick your ass.”

His brother moved to stand over him. “You couldn’t kick old man Baxter’s ass, and he’s been pushing around one of those oxygen cylinders for ten years.”

“You cracked my head open.”

“No, your head’s too hard. Probably cracked your floor though.” Louie pulled a set of keys from his pants pocket. “I don’t know why you made Delaney hate you, but you’re going to sober up and realize you made a big mistake. I hope it’s not too late.” He frowned and pointed a finger at his brother. “Take a shower, Nick. You stink like a distillery.”

After Louie left, Nick picked himself off the floor and stumbled upstairs to bed. He slept until the next morning and woke up feeling like he’d been run over by a monster truck. He took a shower, but didn’t feel much better. The back of his head hurt and he had a black eye. That wasn’t the worst of it. Knowing that Louie was right was worse. He’d pushed Delaney out of his life. He’d thought he could push her out of his head, too. He’d thought he’d feel better. He’d never felt so low.

Are you chicken shit
? Instead of fighting for Delaney, he’d fallen back on old habits. Instead of taking a chance, he’d hurt her before she could hurt him. Instead of taking a risk, he’d taken a swing. Instead of grabbing her with both hands, he’d pushed her away.

She’d said she loved him, and he wondered if he’d ruined everything. He might not deserve her love, but he wanted it. And if she no longer loved him? that nagging little voice asked. He’d made her love him once. He could do it again.

He dressed and headed out the door to take the biggest risk of his life. He drove to Delaney’s apartment, but she wasn’t home. It was Saturday, and her salon was closed, too. Not a good sign.

He drove to her mother’s, but Gwen wouldn’t talk to him. He looked in the garage to see if Delaney was hiding out and refusing to see him. Henry’s Cadillac sat inside. The little yellow Miata was gone.

He searched for her all over town, and the longer he looked, the more desperate he became to find her. He wanted to make her happy. He wanted to build her a house on the Angel Beach property or anywhere she wanted. If she wanted to live in Phoenix or Seattle or Chattanooga, Tennessee, he didn’t care, as long as he lived there with her. He wanted the dream. He wanted everything. Now all he had to do was find her.

He talked to Lisa, but she hadn’t heard from Delaney. When she didn’t show up to open her salon that Monday morning, Nick paid a visit to Max Harrison.

“Have you heard from Delaney?” he asked, walking into the lawyer’s office.

Max looked him over and took his time before answering. “She called me yesterday.”

“Where is she?”

Again he took his time. “I guess you’ll find out soon enough. She’s left town.”

The words hit him in the chest like a two-by-four. “Shit.” Nick sank into a chair and rubbed a hand over his jaw. “Where’d she go?”

“She didn’t say.”

“What do you mean, she didn’t say?” He dropped his hand to his thigh. “You said she called.”

“She did. She called to tell me she’d left town, and she was breaking the will. She didn’t say why or where she was going. I asked, but she wouldn’t tell me. I think she thought I’d tell her mother before she was ready for Gwen to know.” Max tilted his head to one side. “This means you get Delaney’s provision. Congratulations, come June, you’ll get everything.”

Nick shook his head and laughed without humor. Without Delaney there was nothing. He had nothing. He looked at Henry’s estate lawyer and said, “Delaney and I had a sexual relationship before she left town. Tell Frank Stuart and the two of you do whatever you have to do to make sure she gets that property at Silver Creek and Angel Beach.”

Max looked disgusted and tired of the whole mess. Nick knew the feeling.

Two weeks after his visit to Max, he still hadn’t heard a word. He’d haunted Gwen and Max Harrison, and he’d called the old salon Delaney had worked for in Scottsdale. They hadn’t heard from her since she’d quit the previous June. Nick was going crazy. He didn’t know where to look next. He never suspected that he should have looked within his own family.

“I hear Delaney Shaw is working down in Boise,” Louie mentioned as he casually took a swallow of his soup.

Everything within Nick stilled and he looked up at his brother. He and Louie and Sophie sat at his mother’s dining room table eating lunch. “Where did you hear that?”

“Lisa. She told me Delaney’s working in her cousin Ali’s salon.”

Slowly Nick lowered his spoon. “How long have you known?”

“A few days.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

Louie shrugged. “Didn’t think you’d want to know.”

Nick stood. He couldn’t decide if he should hug his brother or punch him in the head. “You knew I’d want to know.”