Trust (14 page)

The
airport is busy, but I only have a carry-on bag that I was able to shove all of
my clothes into so it
’
s easy to navigate my way through the crowds.  Memories of
my final conversa
tion back at Chase
’
s hotel room are echoing through my head
as I walk.  They
’
re too fresh to ignore, but hopefully
time will let them fade.

“
Please don
’
t go,”
Chase had pleaded.  For the first time I
think I saw a glimmer of feeling cross his face, but fo
r all I knew he could plaster that on just as easily as keeping it off.

“
I wasted so much time with Harrison and
his lies,
”
I said, shaking my head. 
“
I don’
t want to waste any more on yours.
”

“
I only kept quiet about the house
because I was falling for
you.  I thought it would
make being with someone like me more acceptable after Harrison.
”

“Don
’
t you see why that
doesn’t
make it any better?
”
I argued. 
“
You lied to trick me into thinking you
’
re somebody you
’
re not.  How do we base a relationship
on tha
t?
”

“No, no, no,”
he protested. 
“You don
’
t understand.  I
wasn’t
trying to trick you.  I am that
person.  I want stability and a home.  I just haven
’
t been in a relationship where anyone
mattered to me.  Until now.  But you were so against me being a gam
bler, I just wanted to prove to you that I was more than
that
…”

“
With a lie.  And worst of all, you
included Denise in it.  She knew that you were lying to me, she was helping
you.
”

“Lila-”

It
was at that point that I walked out of his hotel room, slamm
ing the door behind me and catching a cab to the airport. 
I knew his driver would have taken me, but I
’
d taken enough handouts from Chase
Anderson.  This plane ticket is the last thing I
’
m going to accept, and only because I
have no other choice.  First t
hing I need to do when
I get home is find a job. 

After
a good long cry.

I
know it
’
s coming
. 
I’ve
been swallowing back a sob ever since
the ride back to his hotel when I had first decided to go home.  My chest is
heavy, and I feel stupid.  Not just bec
ause I let yet
another man lie to me, but that I fell so hard and so fast for Chase.  It
’
s only been a week, and yet the feelings
I have for him feel almost stronger than what I felt for Harrison after
months.  I let myself get distracted by a week of fun,
my worries left behind in another country, gathering dust as they waited for me
to come back to reality.  Maybe in the back of my mind I had hoped
I
’
d never have to go back to them.  That
Chase would be my knight in shining armor who would keep me from ev
er having to face my problems again.  That
’
s why I feel stupid.  The fairy tale
always ends.

The
best thing I can do is learn from my mistake this time, since I
didn’t
learn from it after Harrison.  So as
soon as I get to my gate and sit down to wait for
boarding, I pull my phone out and shuffle through the settings until I figure
out how to block a number.  I
’
m not letting Chase hound me the way
Harrison did.  It just makes things harder.  If I end things with a clean
break, it
’
ll be easier.

My
chest he
aves again and I can feel the sting of tears
in my eyes, but I
’
m able to blink them back again.  Get a hold of yourself,
Lila. 
You’ve
only known him a week.

Not
like Denise.  How long has he known her?  Long enough to include her in his
plans to dupe me.
  And I bet that bitch loved going
along with it.  How could he not see her for who she truly is?  Love is blind,
so does that mean he still loves her?  If he does, he really
isn’t
the man I thought he was and it
’
s a good thing I
’
m getting away.  Including
her in his plan to fool me makes the whole thing so much
worse.  I could have almost forgiven him for the house, if she
hadn’t
been involved.  Now I just feel like a
total
fool.

I
scroll through my phone as a distraction and come across Evelyn
’
s texts fr
om
the other day.  I never did call her back to hear her news. 
I’ve
been a shitty friend and roommate to
her this week, so wrapped up in the wild ride I was on with Chase that I
didn’t
even care about what
’
s going on in her life  The fact that
she
hasn’t
sent me
anything since tells me that she
’
s likely pissed.  I consider calling her
back now, but I
’
m worried
I’ll
end up breaking down and crying in the
middle of the airport as soon as she asks about Chase.  I
’
m sure we can both wait a few more
hours. 
I’l
l
be home after dinner, and hopefully she
’
ll be up for staying in with a bottle of
wine.

I
quickly fire off a text to let her know I
’
m coming.

10:51 AM Lila:
Hey Eve, I
’
m coming home tonight.  I should be home a little after 8.
You have plans?

There
’
s n
o response
for a few minutes, so I sit and watch the people around me, waiting for their
flight.  Most of the faces look tired, depressed.  I imagine Vegas does that to
a lot of people.  Sucks them dry of everything they came with and then spits
them back
home when there
’
s nothing left.  For most, they got off
lucky where all they lost was some money.  I can
’
t help but feeling I lost a lot more. 

It
was only a week, I remind myself again.  Stop being so melodramatic.

My
phone buzzes with a new message. 

10:58
AM Evelyn: Wow, look who it is.  I
wasn’t
sure I’
d
ever hear from you again.

Yep.  She
’
s pissed.

10:59 AM Lila: I
’
m so sorry for being a shitty friend
lately.  Can we stay in and split a bottle of wine tonight?

She
makes me wait for a response a
gain.

11:05
AM Evelyn: I just checked twitter. 
I’ll
buy a couple bottles.

I
haven
’
t a clue what she
’
s talking about so I flip over to my
twitter app.  It
’
s still on Chase
’
s profile, and his latest tweet is only
about 30 minutes old.

Chase
Anderson @cha
seanderson - 31m

People
who say you should live life without regrets must never have hurt someone who
meant everything to them
…

I
switch back to my messages and type one last one.

11:08 AM Lila:
Maybe get 3. 
I’ll
see you soon and thx

I
have to wipe the
screen before I can hit send, my
tears have splattered against the glass.  So much for waiting until I get
home.  It
’
s going to be a long flight.

“
Okay, so hold on, Harrison actually said
that?  Like, he actually said he was willing to gamble your en
tire relationship on his poker hand?
”

“Yes.” 
I
wasn’t
sure how I would feel talking about it,
but I
’
m surprisingly numb to Harrison
’
s betrayal at this point.  It
’
s only been a week but it feels like a
lifetime ago.  Fresher memories of Chase have pushed
all
of that old pain aside and replaced it with fresh wounds. 

“
Wow.  What did he have?
”

“
What do you mean?
”

“
His cards.  How good was his hand?
”

I
glance up to Evelyn to make sure she
’
s joking and then we both burst out
laughing.  It
’
s good to laugh
about it now, although we
’
ve already gone through most of the
first bottle of wine while I cried right after getting home, so that has
definitely helped.  Still, I
wasn’t
sure I’
d ever be able to see the humor in the Harrison situation.

“
I have no idea bu
t it
wasn’t
good enough.  Although Harry sure seemed shocked that he
lost.
”

“Okay,”
Evelyn says slowly. 
“
So let me see if I understand.  Harrison
plays poker against one of the best poker players in the world and puts up his
girlfriend as collateral.  An
d then he
’
s surprised when he loses?  Hell, Lila,
I
’
m sorry.  If I
’
d had known how much of an idiot
Harrison was I would have never introduced you two.
”

I
just shrug. 
“
We had some good times.  Live and learn.
”

“
I guess.
  But
…”
Evelyn pauses now as she l
ooks at me with a raised eyebrow, as if unsure about her
next words. 
“
You know it
’
s not like that bet was binding, right? 
You
didn’t
actually have to go with Chase
…”

I
swat her on the arm, hoping she
doesn’t
really think I
’
m that naive. 
“Yes, I
’
m quite
aware.
”

“Okay, okay,”
she says, raising her hands before
grabbing the bottle and refilling both of our glasses. 
“
Just making sure.  So
…
then I guess you left with Chase because
you
’
re just a dirty slut?
”

This
time I hit her even harder and we both almo
st topple
over with laughter. 

“
I mean,
I totally understand it if that’s
the case.  That man is so fucking hot.
”

“
I honestly had no intention of sleeping
with him.  I just wanted to piss Harrison off, and I knew leaving with Chase
would be the best way
to do that.  I had no idea who
he was at the time.
” 
I pause for a minute, reflecting as the smile fades from my
lips. 
“
I guess I still don
’
t.”

Evelyn
sighs as she brings her glass to her lips and takes a big swallow.  She knows
most of what happened be
tween Chase and me, as much
as she could gather from me between my initial sobs.  At the very least, she
knows he hurt me.

“
So Chase lied about owning a house
because he wanted you to like him, is that right?
”

I
shake my head. 
“It
’
s not that simple.
”

“
What else did he lie about?
”

“
Denise.  He had an ex-girlfriend that he
still talks to, a complete bitch.
”

“
And he
’
s still sleeping with her?
”

“
What?  No!
”
I almost spit the word out, almost
offended by the notion.

“Okay…” She
’
s speaking slowly again, a
s if trying to work something out with a child. 
“
So he has an ex-girlfriend.  You have an
ex-boyfriend who, newsflash, is also a big asshole.
”

“It
’
s not just that, he lied about her.
”

“
Oh.  What did he say?
”

I
think back for a moment as I try to rememb
er what
exactly he had lied about in regards to Denise. 
“
He told me he was asking her about some
jewelry
for me to cover up a secret meeting he
was having with her.
”

“
But not a secret meeting to have sex.
”

“
No!  She was his real estate agent and
he was
signing the papers for the house.
”

“
So it
’
s still the same lie, really.  It was
still just to cover up the lie about the house.
”

I
purse my lips, unhappy with the way she
’
s turning this around. 
“
He never told me she was his real estate
agent.
”

“
What di
d he
say she did?
”

I
glare at Evelyn now. 
“
He
didn’t
ever tell me what she did.
”

I
can tell my best friend is keeping her face as innocent as possible as she
looks at me. 
“
So, then he
didn’t
really lie about that, either?
”

“It
’
s a lie of omission,
”
I
protest with
a pout as I throw back the last of the wine in my glass and grab one of the
other bottles from the table next to us.

Evelyn
takes a deep breath next to me and then settles back against the couch. 
“Lila,”
she says, resting her fingers lightly
on my arm as if to comfort me,
“
you know I love you.  But I honestly
think you
’
re over reacting to this whole thing.  I
mean, unless you really just intend for Chase to be a rebound
…
but if that
’
s the case, I don
’
t know why he
’
s
made you so upset.
”

“
No o
ne intends
for someone to be their rebound,
”
I argue.  My voice is hard, but quieter now.  I turn to
look at Evelyn and she
’
s staring back at me with her wide hazel eyes that seem
more brown than green today. 
“
He lied to me, Eve,
”
I say, hoping she
’
ll und
erstand. 
“
Harrison lied.  I
’
m just tired of lies.
”

“
I know, ho
n,”
she nods. 
“
I know.
”

I
can feel the tears burning at the edges of my eyes again as I lean against my
roommate and she gives me a hug.

“
I just worry that you
’
re letting your experience wi
th Harrison influence what
’
s going on with Chase.  I get that he
lied to you.  But is one lie always equal to another?  Do the sins of Chase
equal the sins of Harrison simply because they
’
re both lies?
”