“Our fathers were friends.” Cal’s voice had a clipped tone to it. I knew he was angry with John. He’d told me about going to see him at the jail. I also knew that Cal wasn’t all that happy with his own father. When Cal had told Neil what happened with John, he’d defended my father, insisting that the Jonathan Reeves he knew would never do such a thing. Since then, Cal had had little contact with his dad. It was yet another thing for me to feel guilty about.
Dr. Perkins tilted her head to the side. “It doesn’t sound like you’re happy about that.”
Cal snorted.
She wrote something down on the pad she was holding and then looked directly at me. “Anna, why are you here? What do you want to get out of therapy?”
“Cal and Jade say I need to talk to someone.”
“Do you want to talk to someone?”
Tears formed in my eyes as I nodded.
Jade wrapped her arm around me, pulling me close.
Dr. Perkins handed Jade a tissue. She gave it to me, and I tried to dry my tears. For several minutes, everyone sat there waiting for me to regain control of myself.
“Anna, can you explain to me what just happened? What were you thinking that made you start crying?”
Moisture began to pool in my eyes again. “Ste-Ste-Stephan. I-I want Stephan.”
At my outburst, Cal stood and walked toward the window. I knew he was upset, but I couldn’t change how I felt.
“Do you think you’d feel comfortable if you and I talked alone?” Candice asked.
I looked to Jade and then Cal. Doctor or not, I didn’t know this woman. Did I really want to be left alone with her?
“Your friends would be right outside. We can even leave the door cracked if that would make you feel better.”
“Okay.”
“We’ll be right outside, Anna.” Jade stood and walked to where Cal was standing looking none too happy by the door. She laced her fingers through his, and they walked back out into the waiting area, leaving me alone with Dr. Perkins.
Once they were gone, Dr. Perkins turned her attention back to me. Now that we were alone, the couch I was sitting on seemed overly large, and it felt as if it would engulf me any moment.
“First of all, Anna, I want to assure you that all we’re going to do is talk. I won’t touch you without your permission, all right?”
I nodded, still unsure.
“Also, in here we can discuss anything you want. If you want to talk about how hot it is outside today, that’s okay, too.”
She winked, and I couldn’t help but smile slightly.
The rest of my meeting with Dr. Perkins was a “get to know you” of sorts. She told me about her schooling, and why she’d decided to specialize in helping people with trauma-related issues. When she asked me to tell her a little about myself, I was at a loss. It was almost as bad as when Stephan had me write ten positive things about myself. Not quite as bad, but almost.
“What do you want to know?”
“Anything. Anything you want to tell me.”
“I’m . . . I’m nineteen. I grew up in Dallas, Texas with my mom. I’m an only child.”
“Was it lonely growing up an only child?”
I shook my head. “Not really. Mom . . . we always did lots of fun things together.”
“Like what? What is something you used to do with your mom?”
I didn’t have to think too hard about it. “We used to go to the zoo.”
“That’s always fun.”
“It was.” As I thought of going to the zoo with my mom, I also remembered the time Stephan had taken me. It was shortly after he’d rescued me from Ian, and I’d still believed then that he’d wanted to use me as Ian had. That day had made me start to think that maybe Stephan wasn’t the monster I’d originally thought him to be.
“Where did you go just now?”
I jerked at the sound of Dr. Perkins’s voice. “I was . . . remembering.”
“Your mom?”
I was tempted to lie to her, but it didn’t seem like the right thing to do. “No. I was . . . I was remembering whe-when Stephan took me.”
Dr. Perkins glanced at the clock, then back at me. “Next time, maybe you can tell me about this Stephan. He seems important. For now, though, I bet your friends are anxious to see you.”
On the drive back to Cal’s house, I looked out the window at the passing buildings and wondered where Stephan was. It was a Friday afternoon. Was he working? Or was he already home?
“What did you think of Candice, Anna?”
I turned my head to look at Jade for a moment before going back to watching the passing scenery. We were headed out of the city, and the buildings had given way to houses. “She was nice.”
“I liked her, too.”
“Jade and I both rearranged our schedules so that we can continue to take you to see her. Even if we sit out in the waiting room while you talk to her, at least we’ll be there if you need us.”
I glanced over to Cal and nodded. He was trying to be there for me, to help me, and I appreciated it. I only wished he wasn’t so hostile toward Stephan.
“Cal?”
“Yeah, Anna?” He met my gaze in the rearview mirror.
“You’re still going to help Stephan, right?”
Cal sighed and refocused on the road. “Yes. I promised I would, and I will.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
When we arrived home, to Cal and Jade’s disappointment, I went straight to my room and climbed into bed. Being under the blankets made me feel surrounded . . . comforted. It wasn’t the same as Stephan’s arms, but if I closed my eyes really tight, I could imagine it was.
Talking to Dr. Perkins today, although it hadn’t been as horrible as I’d thought it would be, had reminded me of yet another thing I missed about being with Stephan. I could talk to him. He
made
me talk to him. Even though I didn’t like it, I trusted him. I knew I could tell him anything, and he would always be honest with me.
As much as I appreciated Cal and Jade’s friendship, there were times I knew they weren’t telling me the whole truth. I didn’t think they were trying to withhold information from me. It was more that they were trying to protect me. Cal would sometimes push, but only about Stephan. He never pressed me to talk about how I was feeling or what I’d gone through with Ian. Jade would ask me if there was anything I wanted to talk about . . . that or she would just come into my room and lie down beside me.
I knew this was the main reason why they wanted me to see Dr. Perkins. They wanted me to talk, but they didn’t know how to get me to open up to them. I understood. They cared about me and didn’t like seeing my breakdowns. I didn’t blame them. My panic attacks were scary. Even to me.
Curling into a ball, I reached for Stephan’s collar and pulled tight, feeling the bite of it as it pressed into the skin of my neck. I would go and talk to Dr. Perkins, and Cal would help Stephan. That was all that mattered.
Chapter 7
Stephan
“I still can’t believe you didn’t own a coffeemaker. How do you function
in the mornings?” Sarah stood leaning against the kitchen counter sipping a cup of coffee as I walked toward her. She’d been living with me for over two weeks, and it was almost like old times. Almost.
“Easy.” I went to the refrigerator and removed the cream cheese before putting a bagel in the toaster.
“You’re strange.”
I glanced over my shoulder at her. She was wearing a huge grin. “Maybe you don’t need that coffee as much as you think you do. You’re awfully chipper this morning.”
“That has nothing to do with the coffee.”
My bagel popped out of the toaster, but before I could grab it, Sarah leaned around me and stole it, cursing at the heat burning her fingers.
I stared at her, raising my eyebrow.
“What? I was hungry. I’m eating for two now, remember?”
Shaking my head, I took another bagel and started again. Part of me wanted to give her a hard time about what she’d done and the coffee she was downing in large gulps, but I couldn’t seem to muster the energy. I wasn’t in the mood to fight with her or anyone else. It had been another rough night for me, and all I wanted to do was go through the motions.
Once my breakfast was ready, I took a seat beside Sarah at the island. She’d finished her bagel and coffee and was now sipping on some juice as she eyed the coffeepot with longing.
“Aren’t you going to ask me why I’m so energized this morning?”
It appeared she wasn’t going to allow me to eat in peace—not that she had since she’d arrived—but she usually allowed me a few hours in the morning to put on my game face. “Why are you so perky this morning?”
She frowned at my less than heartfelt question. “Well, if you really want to know . . . I got a job.”
I paused, turning to look at her. Sarah was a certified public accountant. She loved crunching numbers. It was a game to her. The only reason I hadn’t considered her when I was looking for a new CFO was that she preferred to work with small businesses. The size of the foundation’s books made the job undesirable to her.
“Where?” I asked, going back to my breakfast.
“I was talking to Daren the other day. He has a friend who got in over his head and needs some help getting his business finances in order. I said I’d help.”
“What about your other clients?” I knew she worked while I was at the office. Most of her client work could be done on the computer, which allowed her to travel—that and Sarah having a business partner who didn’t mind manning the office while she was gone. After she’d told me about Clint, I doubted his accommodating demeanor was of a purely platonic nature. Sarah seemed oblivious, though.
“It’s not tax season, so I have time. Besides, you’re gone all day. It will give me something to do and get me out of the house for a while.”
I nodded and finished the last of my food. “Barring any unexpected meetings, I should be home by six.”
“I’ll order something for dinner.”
The morning dragged even with a visit from Lily around nine thirty. She was acting a little strange—even for Lily—but I dismissed it. Given my mood, I could be reading into things that weren’t really there. Since Brianna’s departure, she’d made it a point to check on me at least once a day. I wasn’t sure what she expected to find. It wasn’t as if I couldn’t function. I could, and I did.
“Mr. James is here to see you, Mr. Coleman.” Jamie’s voice came through the phone cool and detached, pulling me back into the present.
I saved the file I’d been working on before answering. “Send him in.”
Seconds later, our CFO strolled into my office. He closed the door behind him. “I won’t take up much of your time, Mr. Coleman, but I wanted to give you an update.”
Michael’s appearance in my office was a surprise. It wasn’t as if he’d avoided me these last three months. We attended meetings together, and I would pass him in the hall, but he’d tried to keep things as professional as possible. I couldn’t blame him for that. He’d been on the job less than two weeks before I’d gotten him involved in a massive scandal. Honestly, I was surprised he hadn’t turned in his resignation yet.
I nodded, waiting to see what had brought him to my office this morning.
He leaned back in his chair and met my gaze. “We’re finally making some progress on the money that was taken. As you know, I had to enlist the help of a decoding expert. Whoever it was, they covered their tracks well, and I don’t think they did it alone.”
“What did your expert find?”
“The information was inputted into the system from a remote site.”
That got my attention. We may not be a bank, but there was a lot of money that passed through these walls. Our computer security was good—very good. For someone to get through our firewalls took skill. The money had been extracted without tripping any alarms, and that meant we had a huge problem on our hands.
“Whoever did this had access to the company, which means he or she had someone on the inside.”
That made sense. Whoever pulled this off knew when Lily made her purchases. That wasn’t information just anyone would have access to. “What happens now?”
“I’ve had security pull video of Ms. Adams’s floor for the days in question. It’s going to take a while, but I’m going to go through the tapes and see if anything suspicious turns up.”
“You think it was someone close to Ms. Adams?”
“It had to be. How else would they know when the transactions were taking place?”
It was hard to believe that one of Lily’s staff was embezzling money. There were only a handful of individuals who’d joined us in the last two years. Most had been here since my father ran the foundation ten years ago.
After Michael left, I tried to get back to my work, but I couldn’t concentrate. Saturday was my twenty-fifth birthday, and my life was far from what I’d thought it would be. In two days, it would be ten years since my parents’ death. I wasn’t prepared for that—although, I’m not sure one ever could be. It seemed like only last week they had both been here smiling and laughing. You would think after ten years the hurt would have gone away, or at least lessened.
My next thought was of Brianna. She was the one person I’d been able to share my parents with. She—more than anyone—understood.