Trust (56 page)

Just when I thought all she was going to do was stand there in the center of the room, Brianna took a step forward. Then another. And another.

I held my breath as she stopped in front of the rack that held my floggers and crops.

Brianna reached out her right hand and hesitated, dropping her arm back down to her side and turning away quickly. When she turned around, however, her gaze fell on me standing in the doorway. She gasped and looked around, frantic. I wasn’t sure if her reaction was because she thought she was in trouble, or because my presence made her feel trapped. I was hoping it was the former.

“May I join you?”

She wrapped her arms around her waist protectively and looked down.

I strolled into the room, taking my time, hoping not to spook her further. She never glanced up.

I stopped directly in front of her and waited.

“I’m sorry, Sir. I didn’t mean . . .” Brianna still didn’t change her stance.

Gently taking hold of first one hand and then the other, I brought her palms up to rest on my chest. “Look at me.”

Tentatively, she looked up—first through her lashes and then by raising her head.

“Good girl.” Leaving her hands where they were, I reached up and caressed her face with the back of my right hand. “I didn’t expect to find you in here.”

She started to lower her eyes.

“No. You are not to look down. I want to see your eyes.”

Brianna snapped her gaze back to meet mine.

I had no idea what she was doing in here, but I had a feeling it was significant. “I don’t care that you’re in here, Brianna. I told you before that you could enter whenever you wanted.”

“I wanted . . . I wanted to see if I could do it.”

We were going to the courthouse tomorrow, and it was possible that she would see Ian again for the first time since that night in his study. I knew she was terrified about it, and I wondered if stepping inside this room—something that also scared her—was her way of coping. “You wanted to see if you could face your fear?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

Smiling, I brushed my thumb over her bottom lip. “Do you want to stay or leave? It’s up to you.”

Brianna swallowed. “What . . . what happens if we stay?”

I shrugged, wanting to reassure her that there was no pressure. “I thought maybe we could look around some more. Maybe you’d want to touch some things. Ask questions.”

She pressed her lips together in a tight line, and I knew she was thinking about what I’d said. “We won’t . . . play?”

“No. And you don’t have to touch anything you don’t want to.”

There was a long stretch of silence, and then she nodded. “Okay. I’d like to stay.”

I bent to give her a brief kiss before straightening and grabbing hold of her hands again. “How about we start over there?” I motioned toward the row of floggers and crops behind her that she’d been examining.

As patiently as possible, I waited for her to make the first move. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t anxious. This was what I’d been waiting for. It was the first step in getting Brianna over her fear of this room. I wasn’t going to kid myself, though. We still had a very long way to go. Her being able to walk into the room on her own wasn’t the same as her being comfortable enough to allow me to use any of my equipment with her.

Brianna turned back around, and I stepped to the side so that I wasn’t directly behind her. I wasn’t sure how she’d react to that should she begin to panic. She mimicked the position she’d been in earlier. “Remember, they’re just things.”

She took a deep breath and released it before cautiously grazing the tips of her fingers over one of the floggers. The one she’d directed her attention to was one of my heavier ones. “Does it hurt?”

I stood at her side, holding her left hand in mine while she continued to touch the flogger with her right. “It can. It can also be used to tickle and tease.”

“Tickle?” She scrunched up her nose.

“Yes, tickle. If I hold the flogger in both my hands and just run the tips of it along your back, it would create a tickling sensation.”

Brianna didn’t respond to that and after a few minutes moved on to one with much narrower falls. “What about this one?”

“This one can be used to tease and tickle as well, but when it’s thrown, it has more of a sting. Think of someone snapping a rubber band against your wrist.”

She cringed a little.

“Remember what I told you before. Pain is relative.”

“So you think I might like it.” There was a remoteness to her voice that I didn’t like.

“Maybe. Maybe not. It’s difficult to tell what you’ll like a few years from now.”

Brianna looked up at me, eyes wide. “Years?”

I cocked my head to the side. “Months, years, decades. This goes at your pace, Brianna. Just like with the rope, we aren’t going to try something if you’re not ready. Plus, unlike the rope, these things have sounds that come along with using them, and we both saw how hearing Lily being spanked affected you. You’re not ready for that kind of sound stimulation yet.”

Swallowing, she took another brief glance at the floggers and then turned toward my spanking bench. “May I touch it?”

“Of course. You can touch anything you want to in this room.”

Bravely, she walked forward. I stayed behind her and off to the side, letting her go at her own pace.

Like with the floggers, she reached out a hand and softly caressed the leather. She looked back at me. “It’s padded.”

“Yes.”

“Ian’s . . .” She swallowed. “Ian’s wasn’t padded.”

“Ian was out to cause pain. That’s not my primary objective. I’ve always wanted my submissives to enjoy themselves.”

Brianna thought about that for a minute. “You . . . played . . . with Tami in here?”

“Yes. And the one time I played with Lily was in here as well.” I wasn’t going to keep secrets from her ever again, and especially not about this.

She nodded and to my surprise, she strolled over to my Saint Andrew’s cross. “What is it?”

“It’s called a Saint Andrew’s cross. The shape allows a person to be tied spread-eagle to it for teasing, flogging, whipping . . . whatever the Dominant has in mind.”

There was a long pause as Brianna considered my explanation. “His was different.”

“Different how?”

“It was wood, like this, but it wasn’t shaped like an X.”

Brianna was talking, and that was good. It meant she was here with me and not lost in her thoughts.

She continued. “It was tall. Straight. But it had two metal rods sticking out of the top.”

I thought about what she was describing, and a whipping post came to mind. It made sense. Ian was about force, and pain. Although it wasn’t impossible to get someone attached to a Saint Andrew’s cross without their cooperation, it was more challenging. With a whipping post, all that was needed was to have the intended’s hands bound together. After that, their wrists could be attached to the top of the pole. It stretched them out, making for an easy target. “A whipping post.”

“Yes.” Brianna closed her eyes for a moment and then turned to face me. “I’m ready to leave now.”

Nodding, I extended my arm, and she gave me her hand. She’d made another huge leap today. Tomorrow, she’d take another. It was one step at a time, and I was okay with that.

Chapter 46

Brianna

I pumped my arms harder, faster, trying to get away. There were trees
everywhere, leaves and branches brushing and scraping against my legs as I ran. Where was I? I couldn’t see anything but trees, trees, and more trees.

Something snapped in the distance, and I knew he was closing in. I had to run faster.

My heart pounded in my chest as I moved through the vegetation, searching for something . . . anything that would allow me to escape. I had to find a way out. I had to get away. I had to—

A hand clamped down on my shoulder, and I screamed.

“Brianna? Brianna, sweetheart, wake up.”

I opened my eyes and saw Stephan hovering over me. His brow was creased with worry.

“That’s it. It was just a dream. You’re safe.”

Flinging myself into his arms, I clung to him as I tried to calm down. A dream. It was only a dream.

As my breathing returned to normal, I felt sticky and in desperate need of a shower. I didn’t want to let go of Stephan yet, though. Not yet.

“Shh. I’ve got you.” He brushed my sweat drenched hair away from my face, my neck as he caressed me. Every touch eased the fear that had been racing through my veins.

“Someone was chasing me. I couldn’t . . . I couldn’t get away.” I wrapped my arms tighter around Stephan’s waist.

“Do you know who it was?”

I shook my head. “No. I couldn’t see him. I just knew I had to get away.”

The panic started to grip me again, and Stephan readjusted us so that he was leaning back against the headboard. He brought me with him, positioning me so that I was lying almost entirely on top of him. “I’m right here. No one is going to hurt you, love. No one.”

Stephan continued to console me, his hands never stopping their ministrations, and eventually I closed my eyes and fell back to sleep. The only reason I knew that was because when I opened my eyes again, there was sunlight streaming in through his bedroom window. Before, it had been dark.

I blinked several times before tilting my head back to look up at Stephan. His eyes were open, and he was watching me. “Thank you.”

He smiled and leaned down to brush his lips lovingly against mine. “It’s getting late. We need to get showered and dressed soon, or we’re not going to make it on time.”

My heart sank in my chest as I recalled what today was. We had to go to the courthouse.

“Hey. It will be okay. And when it comes time for you to testify, I’ll be right there. You can look at me the whole time if you want.” He rubbed his thumb against my cheek. “You can do this, Brianna. I know you can.”

“But what if I can’t?”

Stephan smiled, but his face looked more sad than happy. “Do you want to testify?”

“Yes.”

“Then you will. Somehow you’ll find a way. You are the strongest person I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing, Brianna. If anyone can do it, you can.”

I hiccupped and began to cry. Stephan held me, letting me get it out of my system.

All too soon, it was time to get ready. We showered together, dressed, and Stephan insisted I eat some toast. My stomach was churning, and I felt as if I were going to throw up.

Emma had arranged for us go to through a side entrance, so we were able to avoid most of the reporters. Since there were a few hanging out inside the courthouse, we couldn’t sidestep them entirely. As soon as they saw us, they descended.

Stephan held me tight to his side as Emma guided us down the hallway. Before too long, Agent Marco, along with a security guard, appeared and ushered us into a room, out of the reporters’ reach. Agent Marco firmly closed the door in one reporter’s face. “Sorry about that. They’re vultures.”

Neither Stephan nor I responded to Agent Marco. I was trembling again. How was I going to do this?

“You can both stay in here until they’re ready for you. Did you want anything? Water? Coffee?”

“Water. Thank you.”

Agent Marco nodded at Stephan and glanced down at me. I saw a flicker of sympathy behind his eyes before he left to go get the water. The first few times I’d met Agent Marco, I hadn’t liked him. He still wasn’t my favorite person, but I had to admit that since I’d agreed to testify, he hadn’t been such a hard nose. At least to me he hadn’t.

Several minutes later, Oscar entered the room bringing the bottles of water Agent Marco had gone to fetch. He was followed closely behind by Lily, Jade, Cal, and Logan. The room wasn’t huge, and with all the additional people it felt even smaller.

Stephan guided me to a chair and then pulled another one up beside it and sat down. Emma took one of the water bottles and handed it to Stephan. He unscrewed the bottle before handing it to me. “Take small sips. I don’t want you getting dehydrated today.”

I did as instructed. They were all watching me.

Emma was the one to speak first. “The prosecutor has been laying out the case against Mr. Pierce. So far he’s concentrated mostly on the financials, although the last two days included testimony from the family and friends of the other two missing girls.”

Glancing up at all of them, I saw the looks on their faces. It wasn’t encouraging. “Was it bad?”

This time it was Oscar who answered. “We’re not allowed to give you specifics, but the defense did a good job of tearing holes in most of what was said.” He paused. “I think you need to be prepared. Both of you. They are going to come after you with everything they’ve got.”

As if sensing my unease, Stephan pulled me to him, cradling me against his side. “You’ll come get me when they’re ready for me?”

Emma nodded, and both she and Oscar left.

Our friends paired off in opposite corners of the room, almost as if they were standing watch. Occasionally someone would comment or ask a question, but for the most part, everyone appeared to be lost in their own thoughts. I wanted this to be over, behind me, so Stephan and I could get on with our lives.