Trust Me (Beggar's Choice #2) (22 page)

He cups my breasts. “Does it hurt
here?” he whispers, and I let out a choked scream as he twists my nipples
slightly, the unexpected bite of pain arousing me so much that I can feel
moisture soaking my thighs. Lowering his head he lifts my breast into his mouth
and drawing his tongue slowly over my nipple he licks it lazily, until he
starts a heavy suction that makes me writhe against him and pull his hair. He
lets my nipple go with a pop and stares up at me, his lips fuller. “Did you
like that?”

“You know I did,” I whisper and
then shriek as he lifts me and then the bastard actually throws me on the bed.

“Let’s see what else you like,”
he says in a dark voice before moving my legs apart sharply and pushing his
tongue into me. I arch and shriek. I knew he was controlled and bossy but I’d
never thought that it might extend to the bedroom, but now I can see that it
does. His body language is forceful and shouldn’t turn me on. I’ve always
sneered at women for liking bossy men but they obviously knew something that I
didn’t, and then my thoughts scatter like dandelion seeds as I shiver and groan
and lift myself to his lips where he’s started a heated suckling of my clit.

He adds his talented musician’s
fingers to the mix, playing with my entrance and then forcibly thrusting them
into me and curling high inside. I cry out and he looks up. He looks so fucking
sexy at this moment, his lips glistening, his lids low and his hair a tousled
mess where I’ve pulled it. He stares at me and licks his lips and almost as if
against his control he rocks his hips into the mattress while he bends to me
again. He isn’t messing around now and he alternatively flicks my clit and
suckles it hard, low moans sounding in the back of his throat. His tongue
twists through my wetness lashing the pleasure tight in my groin until almost
against my control I stiffen and scream and come against his mouth.

When I come to he’s leaning his
head against my thigh examining me almost curiously. I’d think that he was
unaffected but he has red flags across his cheekbones and he’s breathing
quickly, his chest rising and falling. “Good?” he whispers and I stretch and
sigh and caress his cheek running my finger down and across his mouth until he
playfully bites it.

“So good,” I whisper back.

He smiles and it’s almost brutal.
“Good let’s do it again,” and he draws my pussy down to him by jerking my hips
sharply.

“I don’t think I can come that
quickly. I usually take a while to get going again…Oh God!” I groan as he
starts in again and I arch, feeling the build-up almost impossibly quickly. He
eats me out ravenously, uttering little choked grunts, and although it takes a
herculean effort to open my heavy eyes I do it to watch him almost
unconsciously rut against the bed.

He doesn’t stop until I’ve come
again and then he rears back into a crouch. Reaching up he wipes his hand
across the lower half of his face, and using the moisture he gathers, he lowers
his wet hand and fists his cock as he looks at the wet juncture of my thighs
with heavy lidded eyes. He shudders at the feel of his own hand on his cock,
and I lie in a wanton sprawl, my legs wide open as he stares at me hard, no
trace of a smile now, only an almost snarl as his length shuttles through his
fist. He’s huge and beautiful, his uncut length long and smooth with a dark
vein pulsing along the silky skin, and to my amazement I feel a twinge of
interest in my pussy which I could have sworn was dead from over exertion.

I shift my legs restlessly and he
smiles, still drawing sharp pulls on himself. “Nell, you’re so fucking
beautiful,” he says low and almost wonderingly, and the sight and sound of him
makes me clench and groan and that’s the catalyst which breaks the spell.
Moving quickly he crawls up the bed from the bottom until he’s hovering over me
and suddenly I’m very aware of the size of him and how small I feel lying here
open under him. Then he pulls his cock down and notches it against my opening.
“Nell?” he asks hoarsely.

“Yes,” I moan, arching towards
him and crying out as I feel the long length of him pushing into me and
splitting me open. He pushes in slowly until he’s fully seated and then he
arches his spine on a groan.

“Fuck, you feel so good.”

I reach down grabbing his tight
arse. “So do you. Oh God Sid, move.”

He utters a choked grunt before
pulling out. “It’s going to be hard,” he warns and I nod frantically and moan
at the feel of him as my pussy clings to him and then I cry out when he slams
back in. He throws his head back and then we go wild. He slams into me again
and again, pulling my legs wider apart with a sharp jerk, and then coiling them
around his back. Every stroke he makes he utters a guttural sound and I cry out
as his pubic bone rubs my clit hard.

I can hear the sounds of our
lovemaking loud in the quiet room – the slap of our skin meeting, the moist
sound of my body taking him in and our pants and choked groans. He pulls back
and then slams in again so forcibly that my breasts bounce, and he lowers his
head pulling my nipple into the hot cavern of his mouth, while he starts a short,
staccato thrusting with sharp whips of his narrow hips.

“Oh God,” I shout out, grabbing
his hair and pulling it and hearing his groan of response. “Oh God Sid, yes.”

“So good Nell,” he groans,
rearing up to a sitting position and pulling my hips up until my bum is cradled
on his thighs. He circles his hips, stirring inside me and I cry out reaching
down and grabbing onto his thigh until my nails dig in. I feel his skin break
under one of the nails and he shouts out arching his spine and going fast now,
his hips pistoning.

“Sid!” I shout out.

“Yes love, yes. Come Nell,” he
yells and I scream as everything clenches and bursts open in the biggest orgasm
that I’ve ever had, and then my mind goes black and I relax back into the
mattress feeling his grunts escalating to a long, drawn out moan. I force my
eyes open in time to see his face clench in a rictus of agony, and I feel
warmth flood inside me before he falls forward onto me, catching his weight on
his elbows just before he crushes me.

We’re silent for a second and
then he nestles into me, rubbing his face into my neck and inhaling deeply with
a moan of contentment. “Fuck!” he says softly, and I giggle tiredly, pushing my
limp hands through his hair which is wet with sweat. “I don’t think that I’ve ever
come that hard,” he mutters and I tense slightly at the thought of him doing
this with anyone else. As he’s lying so close he catches that small movement
and he raises his head to look at me intently.

I stare back examining his face
that looks slightly different and then I realise why. He’s lacking that
customary tiny frown of concentration and focus. In his relaxed sprawl his face
looks wiped clean of stress for the first time, and he looks impossibly young.
Then suddenly his expression tightens and he sits up sharply, both of us
groaning involuntarily as his cock slips free. “Shit, shit, shit. I didn’t use
anything. Fuck Nell I’m so sorry.”

I stare at him in disbelief as I
suddenly become aware of the wetness of his semen on my inner thighs. Stupid as
I am it had never occurred to me, and I’m definitely old enough to know better.
I think for a second. “I’m on the pill Sid and I’m clean so there’s no need to
worry about me.” There’s been more chance of a nun catching an STD than me over
the last few years, but the unspoken words hover in the air that we’re not
really talking about me. He’s the risky one in this picture, being not only an
ex drug addict but also one that had been in a relationship with a fellow
addict, and his wince tells me that he knows it.

He stares at me earnestly. “I’m
tested and absolutely clean Nell I promise you. I can get you the test results
if you want?” I shake my head. “Seriously Nell, it must be worrying you because
of the life that I’ve led, but I was tested every six months after Leah, and
since I’ve been clean I’ve always worn something.”

“Why didn’t you this time?”

“I don’t know.” He looks truly
confused now, his brow is wrinkled up like corrugated iron and all the earlier
relaxation has gone. “I think my only thought at that point was to get as far
inside you as your body would take. I knew it felt utterly amazing but I
thought that was just because it was you, not the absence of a condom.”

I’m struck dumb by the
implications of that and we stare at each other for a long minute trying to
read each other’s faces. His looks worried and faintly poleaxed while mine must
look stupefied. Eventually I break the silence.  “Well that’s okay then.
I’m protected and we’re both clean. Why are we still looking at each other as
if a bomb’s exploded on us then?”

“I don’t know. It feels like it
has.” Pausing a second he strokes my cheekbone with one long finger and
hesitates for a second. “Are you okay then with going without condoms in the
future?” I stare at him and he half smiles. “I think this discussion usually
happens a bit further along the relationship line, not in bed the second time
that we have sex, but as with everything else about us we’ve jumped several
steps.”

“Are you bothered by that?”

He snorts. “Not bothered, just a
bit confused, but I have to admit that I don’t have a history of normal
relationships so I can’t exactly guide us along. How about you?”

Wrinkling my nose I shake my head
and something that looks a lot like relief crosses his face, but it’s gone
before I can analyse it. I speak carefully. “I’m fine without condoms, but
doing that implies exclusivity Sid. Are you okay with that?”

He stiffens at once and pulls
back. “Aren’t you?” he asks sharply, his eyes fierce. “Because if you aren’t I
can’t do this. I’m not a possessive man normally Nell, but I won’t fucking sit
back and share
you
so if that’s what you want …”

I put my fingers over his mouth
to stem the angry words. “I’m
always
exclusive in my relationships. I’ve
never cheated on anyone Sid, and I don’t like to share either. Infidelity is a
deal breaker with me. If it happens I’ll walk away.” We stare at each other and
he looks mollified.

 Hovering over me he runs
his hands down my body tracing invisible lines and shooting sidelong glances at
me almost imploringly, and I respond to his unspoken request. Holding my arms
out to him I cuddle up against him as he folds himself almost gratefully into
me and gives a long sigh. We lie like that for a long time as he plays with my
hair until he stirs.

“After all that was the sex
okay?” he asks tentatively, and I laugh out loud.

“Really?” I say mockingly. “You
have to ask that – you were there and you know I came so hard that I almost
blacked out.”

“Not just once.” His face looks
smug. “Three times. Please make sure that you mention this if anyone ever asks
you.”

“I’ll do my best,” I say gravely.
“However, I think that you fucked my brains out, so remembering anything might
be a bit of a problem.”

“Really?” He arches his brow and
slides against me and impossibly I feel that he’s hard again.

“Again?”

“Let’s refresh your memory
grandma,” he says darkly before drawing me down into the golden darkness with
him again.

Later on he curls me against him,
holding me tightly. “Will you stay?” he whispers almost shyly.

“Of course,” I murmur, my throat
too tight to say more.

Nodding he pulls the sheets and
blankets over our bodies pulling me back against him as soon as he’s settled.
We lie for a second and then his voice sounds in the darkness. “Just fucking,
Nelly?” It’s a quiet whisper and I swallow hard, feeling my heart twist and
writhe in my chest.

“Of course Sid,” I whisper and
it’s the first time that I’ve ever really lied to him.

After a few minutes his body goes
lax in sleep against me, but I lie there my brain whirring at top speed. I
can’t believe that we’ve finally done this. I don’t know where it’s going and I
know that he says that he’s not going to fall in love with me, but I’m very
afraid that it’s too late for me. I’m already in love with him, and looking back
I think that it happened very quickly.

I love everything about him - his
humour, his odd moments of shyness, even his unerring ability to put his foot
in it when he’s nervous. I love his tetchiness and his focus, and I love that
smile that breaks across his face illuminating his eyes, when he forgets that
he can’t control the world and just lets go. I know that I’m going to be hurt
by this love, it’s inevitable given who I’ve chosen to fall in love with, but I
won’t turn back.
I
can’t
. I have to love him because it feels as
inevitable as breathing, and at that thought I snuggle back into him feeling
the toasty warmth of his body, and loving the fact that even though he’s asleep
he still unconsciously draws me close and holds me tight. Sighing, I nestle
against him and allow myself to sleep, feeling safer than I can ever remember
feeling.

When I wake up the next morning I
stretch, feeling unbelievably comfy and warm. Then I feel the soreness in my
limbs and my eyes jerk open at the memory of what happened last night. Looking
frantically around the room I can’t see him but then I hear the shower switch
off and the bathroom door opens and he strolls out wrapping a towel around his
narrow hips. I pull myself up into a sitting position and wrap the sheet around
me, while appreciating the sight of his lean body with droplets of water
rolling over him.

Catching my movement he jerks his
head up and for a long second he just stares at me expressionless until I feel
my welcoming smile start to slide off my face. Something’s wrong but I don’t
know what, and then he smiles almost nervously at me. “You’re awake,” he says
jerkily, his hands moving almost nervously and tightening the towel.