TRUTH (14 page)

Hands. I felt hands on my face. Gentle hands. Hands I knew.
 

“Brianna. Listen to my voice. Remember where you are. What do you hear? What can you feel around you? Tell me.”

My throat felt tight as I opened my mouthed and tried to speak. “Hands,” I choked out.

“Good girl. Now tell me what else. Concentrate.”

“C-cold. I feel . . . cold.”

The hands left my face and arms circled around my back and shoulders. Then there was warmth. Warmth and the clean smell of soap I recognized. Stephan.

I reached for him, wrapping my arms around his waist, and holding as tight as I could. He brushed his lips across my forehead. “I feel . . . your arms . . . holding me. Your lips. You.”

His chest vibrated beneath my cheek, and he kissed the top of my head. “Good girl. What number?”

Sucking in a deep breath, and burrowing deeper into the comfort of his arms, I took the time to consider my answer. “Three.”

He hugged me before loosening his grip and pulling me down to the bed to sit on his lap. It was then I noticed he was no longer wearing his towel. Glancing down, I saw it pooled in a heap on the floor.

“Did you have a flashback?”

“I don’t know.” Had it been a flashback? It was different than what had happened before, so I wasn’t sure.

“Take your time and tell me what happened. Remember, slow, deep breaths. There’s no hurry.”

I took a deep breath just like he’d said and leaned into his chest. Opening my eyes, I saw the beautiful green fabric of the dress he’d picked out for me. The dress I was to wear to dinner with his family. I sat up quickly. Or I tried to. Stephan held me in place, not letting me go very far.
 

“Brianna?”

“Dinner. Your . . . your family—”

“They’ll wait.”

Looking up at him, I saw that he was completely serious.
 

“Now relax and tell me what happened. Why did you panic?”

Closing my eyes, I tried to will myself to relax. Stephan pulled me back against him, laying my head on his shoulder. It wasn’t quite the same as his chair, but it was close. I circled my arms around his waist and sighed. “I could hear them.”

“Hear who?”

I swallowed, holding him tighter.
 

“Shh, sweetheart. You’re fine. You’re safe. Whose voices did you hear?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but the words wouldn’t come. They stuck in my throat, gagging me. I wanted to answer him. I wanted to give him what he asked for, but I couldn’t. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get it out.

“Calm down,” he whispered.
 

It was then I tasted the salty moisture running down my cheeks and realized I was crying. I tucked my head into the crook of his neck as he ran his fingers through my hair. The constant motion soothed me.
 

We sat there for a long time not saying anything. The only sounds in the room were the steady rhythm of our breathing and the gentle rustling of his hand as it moved through my hair. Slowly, the tension drained away, and I relaxed.

Stephan

I had no idea what happened. One minute she was aroused and on edge in the best way, and the next she was lost in one of her panic attacks. I had been standing behind her, and maybe that had been the problem, but I’d touched her from behind before and she’d been fine. She had trouble when I attempted to spoon her at night—often waking up scared. Never once, however, had she reacted negatively while she was fully awake and aware of her surroundings.
 

It took a while for her to calm down, but eventually, she did. We were going to be late to Richard and Diane’s, but that was the least of my concerns at the moment. I’d sent my aunt a text. It was the best I could do given the circumstances. I needed to know what had happened and why. Brianna had managed to tell me she’d heard voices. Just getting that much out had been challenging for her.
 

Her hair was still slightly damp as I ran my fingers through it. I loved touching her hair. It was soft, and the motion seemed to calm her as much as it soothed and relaxed me. We needed to get to the bottom of this, however.
 

“Do you think you can tell me what happened now?”

Her fingers dug into my back in response.

“Sit up and look at me.”

She retracted her fingers one by one and sat up to face me. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying.
 

Placing my hands on each side of her face, I leaned in and gave her a chaste kiss. “I want you to keep looking at me and tell me what happened. You are right here. With me. You’re safe. No one is going to hurt you. Do you understand?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“Good girl.” I kissed her again, keeping it short, even though it was always tempting to get carried away.
 

Making myself pull back from her, I sat and waited. I would wait all day if that was what it took, but I was confident that wouldn’t be the case. Brianna had an inner strength I admired and, in some ways, envied. When I’d lost my parents, I’d fallen apart inside. No one had been able to reach me for months. I’d been a walking zombie.
 

My family and Logan never gave up on me, and eventually, they’d helped me through to the other side. Even then, I’d shut out most people. Daren was the first person I’d told what had happened other than Logan, and the only reason Logan had found out was because he was there right after it happened. Logan had seen firsthand what losing my parents had done to me. It took me years to get over it, to move past the pain and anger.
 

Losing my parents paled in comparison to what the woman in front of me had lived through, yet she never gave up, never stopped trying. I knew I would never stop loving her.
 

I brushed some loose strands of hair away from her face. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and then seemed to realize what she’d done and opened them again. Her eyes were wide as she stared, and I could tell her anxiety was increasing again.
 

“Deep, even breaths, Brianna. Take one word at a time. There’s no rush.”

She did as I’d instructed, her chest rising and falling steadily with each breath. I tried not to pay attention to how the fabric of her dress brushed against me with every movement, drawing my attention to her breasts. Closing my eyes, I made myself block out my body’s natural reaction to her.

When I opened my eyes, she had a determined look on her face and her hands were balled into fists in her lap.
 

“I could . . . hear . . . them.”
 

She reached toward my chest, but when she touched my bare skin, she pulled back. I realized she was used to holding on to my shirt. Since I wasn’t wearing anything, it was throwing her off. I didn’t want that, so I lowered my right hand and laced our fingers together. Brianna’s fingers clasped my hands tighter than I thought possible.

“The . . . the men. They . . . the words . . . what they’d . . . say . . .”

Brianna was doing well, but I could see the panic rising. I brought her face closer to mine, touching my nose with hers. Gradually, she relaxed again, and I thought about what she’d said and what we’d been doing right before her panic had begun to spiral out of control.
 

I’d asked where she wanted me to touch her. It had been a simple question with an obvious answer. “You’re talking about the men Ian shared you with.”
 

She didn’t need to confirm it, but she did with a nod.

For some reason, I felt I needed to clarify something. “When I asked you where you wanted me to touch you, it reminded you of those men?”

Brianna opened her mouth and then shut it. She did this several times, never uttering a word.
 

“There isn’t a wrong answer, love.”

“When you . . . asked me . . .”

“Yes,” I prompted. She tried to glance down, but I tapped the underside of her chin, and she looked back up at me.

“I didn’t know . . . how to answer. What word . . . to use.” She took a deep breath. “Then I heard them. All the words, the names, they used to say, to call me. It . . .” A shudder ripped through her body as she rushed through the last few words.

“Come here.” I released her hands and turned her around in my lap so her back was to my chest.
 

Almost instinctively, she leaned back and rested her head on my shoulder.
 

I ran my hands down her sides, her legs, until I reached the hem of her skirt. This time, I wasted no time in lifting it, bunching it up around her hips, and revealing her silky dark green panties. Lacking pretense, I spread her legs and cupped my hand over her mound. She glanced up at me and waited.
 

“What words you use to describe your body aren’t as important as the meaning behind them, Brianna. Those men—did the words they used convey the pleasure, the beauty of what they were talking about? I doubt it. The way you’ve described them, it was more about degrading you than anything else. I never want you to feel that way. Ever. Your body is beautiful to me. Every single part of it. It should be beautiful to you, too.”

Removing my hand, I fixed her dress and cradled the back of her head. I leaned down to brush my mouth against hers before deepening the kiss. She parted her lips, responding.
 

I broke the kiss before it could get out of hand and smiled. “We are going to revisit this later, sweetheart, but for now, we have a dinner to attend.”

I patted her leg, and she stood.
 

“Finish getting ready,” I instructed, giving her a light swat on her behind as I walked around her to get to my closet. Brianna stood unmoving for several seconds, much as she had the first time I’d spanked her, as if waiting for something, and then she scurried off to the bathroom to fix her hair.

On our way to Richard and Diane’s, I asked if she remembered her rules for the day, and made her repeat them back to me. Brianna needed to get used to interacting with people. Although I didn’t fully trust my uncle, I did trust Diane to make Brianna feel welcomed and provide a somewhat safe environment for her. Requiring her to ask questions, something she wouldn’t naturally do in a social situation, would hopefully push her out of her comfort zone a little without sending her into another panic attack.
 

As I pulled up in front of their home, I noticed a familiar car already in the driveway. While I’d hoped it would just be us and my aunt and uncle, I wasn’t surprised by their presence. It just added another complication.

I helped Brianna out of the car, closed the door behind her, and gathered her into my arms. “Jimmy and Samantha are here.” She tensed. “It’s all right. Remember your rules and you’ll be fine. Do we need to go over them again?”

“No, Sir. I remember.”

“Good girl. Now try to relax. You’re safe.”

 
We were two steps from the front door when it opened. I’d expected my aunt, but instead Richard stood ominously in the doorway, his features unreadable.
 

“You’re late.”

His tone was tempered, but his eyes were fierce as he stared at me. I sighed and stepped forward to go around him. Even though I knew another lecture was most likely coming, I did my best to act as if he were only irritated about our tardiness.
 

With my arm tucked around Brianna’s waist, I smiled at my uncle. “I sent Diane a message. I do hope we haven’t kept everyone waiting too long.”

He looked at me again and then turned his attention to Brianna. His features softened. She wasn’t paying attention to Richard, though. Instead, her focus appeared to be a picture on the other side of the room. It was a family portrait taken two years before my parents’ deaths. I made a mental note to get her a closer look after dinner.
 

“No. She’s just putting everything out on the table now.”

“Great!” I said with exaggerated enthusiasm, and began steering Brianna toward the dining room. A half second later, Richard followed. I had a feeling it was going to be another interesting Sunday afternoon.

Chapter 11

Stephan