TRUTH (22 page)

I ended up spending the last hour of my day looking through the stack of spreadsheets detailing Pierce’s bank account. There were large sums of money everywhere, both coming in and going out. By the time five o’clock rolled around, I was starting to see double.
 

After placing the seemingly endless amount of papers back into the manila envelope, I tucked them under some other paperwork on my desk and turned off my computer. I’d considered putting the papers in my safe or taking them home with me, but I wasn’t worried about someone seeing them. All the account numbers had been blacked out. Plus, other than the cleaning lady, no one but Jamie came into my office while I wasn’t there, and I wasn’t overly concerned with either of them. Both had worked for me since I’d taken over the foundation.

I paused outside the door of my condo and wondered how and where I’d find Brianna. She always seemed to keep me on my toes one way or another. Would she be in the kitchen cooking? The living room, reading? Or would I find her kneeling, waiting for me?

Opening the door, I was hit with the scent of spices coming from the kitchen. Glancing over in that direction, I was disappointed when I didn’t see her. She wasn’t in the living room either.
 

“Brianna?”

I heard a noise coming from my bedroom, and then a handful of seconds later, Brianna appeared in the doorway. She looked . . . unsettled, guilty. It made no sense.
 

Taking a step toward her, I saw her tense. What in the world was going on?

Ignoring her discomfort for the moment since she didn’t look hurt in any way, I removed my jacket as I walked across the room and threw it, along with my tie, over the back of the couch. By the time I stood in front of her, she was looking down, her shoulders hunched over, and she was wringing her hands. I had to admit, I was curious as to what had brought out such a reaction in her.
 

I pressed one finger under her chin and tilted it up so I could see her face. Her cheeks reddened under my scrutiny. I considered asking her to explain but thought of a better idea. Since she’d come from my bedroom, I was willing to bet that whatever was causing this was in there.

Releasing her chin, I reached for her hand and marched us both into my bedroom. She resisted for only a moment before reluctantly following. I had to stifle a laugh. I had no idea what she’d done, but I doubted it could be that bad. Brianna was such a good girl. She was always trying to please.
 

Once we were inside my bedroom, it didn’t take me long to realize what had her feeling so guilty. The bottom drawer of my nightstand was lying on the floor, all its contents spilled out haphazardly on the carpet. From where I stood, I could see the ropes I’d used on Brianna’s father along with several other toys I kept in there.
 

Glancing over at Brianna, she’d not moved much. She still looked as though she’d stolen a cookie from the cookie jar. I had to keep myself from laughing. She was too cute. Did she really think I’d be upset with her discovering my toys? Obviously she did.

“Do you mind telling me what happened here?” I asked, keeping the amusement out of my voice.

“I . . . I didn’t mean to, Sir. I was cleaning, and . . . my shoestring got caught on the knob. The drawer opened and . . . before I knew it, the whole drawer had fallen out . . . and everything, and . . .” She paused for a long time. I wasn’t sure she was going to finish her sentence at first. “I . . . was curious.”

I released her hand and walked over to kneel beside the drawer and its contents. One by one, I picked them up and replaced them in the drawer with the exception of three items. With the drawer back in place, I went to the bed to sit down, patting the mattress beside me. Again, I had to suppress a chuckle as she literally dragged her feet.

“Give me your hand,” I instructed once she’d sat down.

She held out her hand and closed her eyes. I wondered if she thought I would smack her hand or something. Instead, I ran the feather over her knuckles. She opened her eyes and glanced up at me. The look on her face was no longer that of apprehension, but of shock.

I saw her other hand twitch as I continued to move the feather back and forth lightly over her hand. “What does it feel like, Brianna?”

“It tickles, Sir.”

I smiled and removed the feather.
 

I picked up the bamboo skewer and followed a similar path along her knuckles and the back of her hand.

“And this?”

“Sharp. Like a knife.”

“Does it hurt?”

She shook her head. “No.”

I removed the bamboo and reached for the last item. This time, I turned her hand over so I could reach the underside of her wrist. “Do you know what this is?”

“I think so.”

Turning it on, I held it a couple of inches from her skin. “This is a bullet vibrator.”
 

The gentle vibrations pulsed through my fingers as I placed it against her wrist. She held very still.
 

“This is the low setting.”

I let her get used to it on low before I turned it up. When I finally had it on high, I ran it up the length of her arm to her elbow. “How does that feel?”

“Strange. But . . . good.”

“Good,” I said, smiling.

I turned the vibrator off and laid it on top of the nightstand along with the other two items before turning back to face her.
 

“First, is there anything in the kitchen that needs your attention?”

“No. The lasagna’s done.”

“Do you need to take it out of the oven?”

She shook her head.

“Good. Now tell me why you were looking so guilty when I came home. Did you really think I’d be upset you’d been in my toy drawer?”

“You didn’t say I could get into your drawer, Sir.”

“You’re not answering the question, Brianna. Did you think I’d get upset with you?”

“Maybe? I wasn’t sure.”

“I see.”

I thought I’d made myself perfectly clear weeks ago that Brianna was able to go anywhere in the house. The only exception to that had been the playroom, which I kept locked. I was hoping to show it to her one day, but as with many other things, I didn’t think she was ready yet.
 

“Unless I tell you otherwise, Brianna, you are able to look at, touch, and use anything in this house. If you’re curious about something, all you have to do is ask. Okay?”

“Okay.”

There was a long pause.

“Have you used all those things?”

I knew she was asking not only about the three things I’d used on her but the other items in the drawer, which included nipple clamps, a flogger, several vibrators and dildos, and a paddle, along with the ropes I’d used on her father. “Yes.”

She shivered, and I could see the fear in her eyes.
 

“What about the things you saw frightens you?”

“Will you put those things inside me?”

“Eventually.”

Her body jerked.
 

“Do you trust me?”

Brianna looked up at me. “Yes.”

I pulled her into my arms and held her.
 

“I do . . . trust you. I do.”

“Just remember that, sweetheart. I would never do anything you didn’t want me to do, but I can also show you things, make you feel things, you’ve never experienced before.” I tilted her head up so I could kiss her lips. “Remember how you like kneeling before me? How you like it when I pull your hair? Did you like those things before?”

“No.”

I kissed her again. “See? Everything is different now, which is why you have to trust me.”

The guilty expression returned.

“Hey. None of that now. I know this is hard for you, Brianna. I don’t expect it to be easy. Just remember you always have your numbers and your safewords. You can always stop anything we do together at any time.”

She nodded.

“Now. I do believe you mentioned something about lasagna?”

Brianna giggled. “Yes.”

“Wonderful,” I said, patting her leg. “I’m starved.”

Chapter 16

Stephan

Dinner was delicious as always. By the time we finished eating, I was stuffed. I seemed to do that all too often with her cooking.
 

After helping her clean up, I took a seat in my chair and pulled her down with me to sit on my lap. Sometimes I think this little ritual of ours had become as important to me as it had for her. It was a time for me to decompress and to reconnect with her after being gone all day. Being the president of The Coleman Foundation was a lot of work and even more pressure.
 

That first year out of college, I’d had to prove myself, show that it wasn’t just my name on the letterhead but that I could contribute to the cause my parents had begun. I didn’t date anyone seriously for that entire year. Only for the sake of needing to forget about work for a while had I gone to a few local private lifestyle parties. It was there I’d met Lily, so I couldn’t regret the decision, although it made me realize the mountain I had ahead of me.
 

If recognition didn’t occur the moment I introduced myself, it came quickly thereafter. The Coleman heir stepping into his role as president of The Coleman Foundation had been front-page news. One of the reasons I’d been attracted to Lily was that she didn’t seem affected by who I was.

When women, and some men, at those parties had looked at me, I’d been able to tell they were seeing dollar signs. It had been more about what I could potentially give them financially if they were my submissive than what they were looking for in a relationship. That was why, after playing with Lily and deciding we were better off as friends, I’d decided to stay out of the dating scene for a while. I’d had enough on my plate at the time without having to worry about a woman looking to become a trophy wife.

In the end, I’d achieved my goal and earned the respect of my colleagues. I would do it again in a heartbeat.
 

Glancing down at Brianna where she lay with her head on my shoulder, I was reminded again of how different she was from the other women I’d met. It had nothing to do with what she’d been through and everything to do with who she was. I’d thought Tami had been different. When I’d first met her, she hadn’t acted as if my wealth mattered to her. In the end, however, she began to show her true desires. She wanted to move in with me, have me put a ring on her finger, and a limitless credit card in her hand.
 

Brianna didn’t care about any of those things. She wasn’t fake. She didn’t pretend. I could be myself with her, even if sometimes I had to keep in mind how fragile she was.
 

When we talked about my day, she was genuinely interested. If I told her about a family struggling, there were tears in her eyes—her heart went out to them. She cared about people, even though being around them scared her.
 

 
Closing my eyes, I relaxed and enjoyed the feel of her in my arms. She accepted me for me, not because of who I was. To me, that was invaluable.
 

“Sir?”

“Yes, Brianna?”

“Is everything . . . okay?”

I kissed the top of her head and rested my cheek against her hair. “Yes, sweetheart. Everything’s fine. How about you? Tell me about your day.”

“I finished my book.” She reached for the buttons on my shirt and began playing with them.

“Did you like it?”

She nodded.

“Ronnie was funny. Jake kept trying to get her to go out with him, and she’d mouth off to him and put him in his place.” She laughed. “She was mouthing off to him this one time and he backed her into a wall and kissed her.”

I knew the book she was reading was a romance novel, so I had to assume the kiss was well received. “And what did she do when he kissed her?”

“She didn’t like it at first. Well, she acted like she didn’t. She kept trying to push him away.”

“And then what?”

“She started kissing him back.” She grew quiet. “They ended up having sex up against the wall.”

Brianna whispered the last part as if she were telling some sort of naughty secret. I smiled.
 

“So do you think you’ll read any more of the books Lily brought you?”

“Yes,” she said, nodding her head enthusiastically.
 

I had to keep from laughing out loud. Sometimes, I had to wonder how she remained so seemingly innocent despite what she’d been through. My only guess was that it had to do with the detached state she zoned into sometimes. It was as if her body was there, but her mind wasn’t. So, even though she was technically experiencing things, it wasn’t the same as it would have been for someone else.

 
“Did you do anything else today besides read and explore my toy drawer?”
 

“I really didn’t mean—”

“You can open that drawer whenever you want. I want to explore things with you . . . including toys. You need to be comfortable with them, and maybe holding them, feeling them in your hands, will help. I don’t like the fact that inanimate objects frighten you.”