TRUTH (17 page)

Stephan

Once the baking dish was removed and the oven turned off, I took a minute to catch my breath. To say Brianna had caught me off guard was an understatement. I’d missed coming home to find her kneeling, waiting for me, but seeing her that way brought images to my mind that couldn’t come to pass. Not yet.
 

Thinking about the possibilities, though, had me growing harder. The moment I’d walked in the door and saw her there on the floor, my body had begun to react. There was no disguising my erection as it pressed against my slacks, begging to be let free.
 

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. While I knew her seeing me aroused no longer caused her fear, I did need to remain in control of myself. I couldn’t just do whatever I wanted without concern for her. We’d only started to discuss taking things further with the rope. It had to be a step at a time.
 

The thought of her tied up only made things worse, and I hoped I’d be able to survive the night, let alone the rest of the week. Sex with Brianna was amazing, but I longed to explore other things with her. Other kinky things.
 

Logan had been out of town for the last two weeks. We’d e-mailed back and forth a few times, but it was mostly mundane stuff. We didn’t discuss details regarding our lifestyles. There were too many ways e-mails and texts could fall into the wrong hands. It wasn’t something either of us needed. He was flying home tonight, and we were scheduled to have lunch on Thursday. Given some of my recent conversations with Brianna, added to what I’d come home to . . . I wanted to propose something to him that would require his and Lily’s help.

Knowing I couldn’t make her wait forever, I took a deep breath and walked as calmly as I could back to where Brianna remained kneeling on the floor. She was extremely patient, and I had no doubt it was a skill she’d been forced to acquire painfully at Ian’s hands. I could, however, see the pulse in her neck beating out a steady but rapid rhythm. If I knew for sure she were ready for a good spanking, I would waste no time bending her over the back of the couch and giving her one. Then take her from behind as I enjoyed the view of her nice, red ass. Considering her reaction to the two single swats I’d given her, I knew that wasn’t the case, though.
 

Plunging my fingers back into her hair, I drew her head to my groin and pressed, letting her feel what she was doing to me. The heat of her breath through my pants, knowing that her mouth was so close, made my resolve slowly disappear. I needed to feel her tongue, her lips, milking me.

“Undo my pants, Brianna.”
 

She glanced up at me, unsure.
 

“If this isn’t what you want, you need to tell me now.”

Instead of answering verbally, she looked down at my crotch and then reached for the button on my slacks. My cock twitched in anticipation.
 

The last time she’d had her mouth on me, things hadn’t ended well. She’d snuck into my bedroom while I was sleeping, still under the impression that she was my slave and thinking that waking me up, servicing me, would be a great way of thanking me for being nice to her. It had the opposite effect. I didn’t want a mindless slave girl who did only what she was told and had no thoughts, feelings, or wants of her own.
 

She pulled my zipper down, the flaps falling to the side. All thoughts of the past slipped from my mind as I became intensely focused on the present.

“Take it out.”

Brianna took a deep breath, reached back up to push my boxers down, and released my cock from its confines. It bobbed slightly and then pointed straight at her. She sat, waiting, watching, her hands in her lap.

I threaded my fingers through her hair, cupping the back of her head, holding it in place. Closing my eyes, I struggled for control. This was another first for us. I wanted to make this last.
 

Feeling slightly more centered, I looked down. Brianna stared up at me. There was no fear in her eyes, and it washed away any lingering doubts I had about continuing this.

With my left hand, I caressed the side of her face before brushing my thumb over her lips until she parted them. I slipped my thumb inside her mouth and pressed down on her tongue. Instinctively, she relaxed her jaw.
 

“If at any time you need to stop, to end this, I want you to tap my arm twice. Nod if you understand.”

She nodded.

“Good girl. Now let’s see if that mouth of yours is as good as I remember.”

I stepped closer, the tip of my erection touching her lips. Just the feel of her breath was sending blood rushing from my brain down to my groin.
 
If I waited any longer, I might explode before I ever got to relive the pleasure of her mouth enveloping my cock in its warmth. She wasn’t giving me any indication that she didn’t want this, so I was through holding back.
 

Allowing my thumb to slip from her mouth, I tangled my hand in her hair and waited to see what she would do. It didn’t take long. Brianna opened her mouth wide, and nearly my entire length was surrounded by her warm, wet mouth.
 

She bobbed her head and ran her tongue up and down my length as she sucked. It was nothing short of heavenly. As I felt that tightening in my balls, I gathered her hair around my fist and guided her movements. There was something mesmerizing about watching a woman as she used her mouth. Something about watching my erection move in and out from between her beautiful pink lips. Every now and then, I got a glimpse of her tongue as it glided up, down, and around my entire length. The closer I got, the more I needed.
 

“Relax your throat.” It was all the warning I gave her before tightening my hold on her hair and thrusting in her mouth.
 

Brianna didn’t miss a beat. She closed her eyes, relaxed, and within seconds I was plunging down her throat and she was sucking with an intensity that sent the last of my self-control out the window. I pulled roughly on her hair as the evidence of my orgasm emptied down her throat. The surge of energy exploded until I was left breathless and certain that I’d just experienced the best blowjob of my life.

I opened my eyes and looked down as I pulled out of her mouth. She gazed up at me, her blue eyes darker than normal, and I knew she’d not been unaffected by what she’d just done. Untangling my hand from her hair, I trailed the backs of my fingers gently across the side of her face, down to the mouth that had just given me so much pleasure.
 

“Thank you.”

She smiled, and it had to be one of the best things I’d ever seen.
 

“You’re welcome, Sir.”

I smiled back.

“Be a good girl and fix my pants, and then we’ll go see what you made for dinner.”

Brianna wasted no time doing as I’d instructed, all with a smug smile on her face. I’d been holding off pushing too much, for fear it might trigger a past memory for her. Maybe I’d been wrong to do so. She seemed ready for the next step, ready to explore. Brianna was the one who’d brought up the ropes. She was the one who’d been waiting at the door kneeling. My lunch with Logan couldn’t come fast enough. I just hoped he and Lily agreed.
 

I helped her stand and then made my way to the table while she checked on the food. She was still smiling as she carried the baking dish over to the table and set it down. If nothing else, she seemed quite pleased with herself.
 

Once she sat down, and we each had food on our plates, I continued to watch her. She showed no signs of discomfort, regret, or anything other than happiness. It hadn’t escaped my notice when I’d walked in, either, that she was wearing a dress. Brianna always chose to wear pants or shorts. I had to assume her wearing a dress held some significance.

“I like the dress.”

“Thank you.” The smile never slipped from her face, but she lowered her head and blushed. It was adorable.

I thought about beginning our normal, nightly conversation here at the table but reconsidered. Brianna was smiling and happy. Although I didn’t want that to change, I knew there were some serious things we needed to discuss. I also had assignments for her to work on during the week. The topics were almost certain to wipe that smile from her face, at least temporarily, and I wasn’t ready for that to happen yet.
 

“Did you read any more in your book today?” I asked later, once we were sitting in my chair.

“No. I cleaned.”

I glanced around the room and frowned. The condo was clean when I left. There was no way it should have taken her an entire day. “You don’t have to clean every day, you know. In fact, you don’t have to clean at all if you won’t want to. I used to have a maid who came in three days a week, and I can easily make that happen again.”

“I like to clean. It . . . it helps me clear my head.”

Her hair was still a bit messy from where I’d twisted and pulled it earlier, and I pushed it back out of the way. She was looking down, so I knew there was something on her mind she wasn’t crazy about discussing. My guess was the assignment I’d given her, to come up with three things that had stuck out to her from the weekend. I didn’t care if they were good things or bad things. I just wanted them to be important enough to stand out in her memory.

“Did you come up with three things from this weekend?”

She nodded.

I waited.

For the longest time she said nothing. I was almost ready to scold her when she answered. “Yes.”

I rubbed her arm letting her know I was pleased. “Tell me the first one.”

“I liked the picture of you and your family. I liked . . . I liked that you shared it with me,” she whispered.

Hugging her closer, I kissed her forehead. “I enjoyed that, too. You are very special to me, Brianna. You make me want to share those things with you.”

She snuggled closer, her lips grazing my neck as I held her. It brought back the memory of earlier, and my body reacted. I closed my eyes briefly, trying to concentrate on our current conversation.
 

“What was the second thing?” I asked, trying to refocus.

“Diane and . . . Samantha.”

I halted the movement of my hand up and down her arm for a moment before resuming. “What about Diane and Samantha?”

“I don’t think Samantha likes me either.”
 

I heard the words, but I didn’t like how detached they sounded. It was as if she expected to be disliked. “Why do you think Samantha doesn’t like you?”

She didn’t answer right away, but I gave her time to gather her thoughts. “She started asking me questions. I felt uncomfortable, like I was missing what she was really asking.”

“Was this when I was in the kitchen?”

She nodded, her hair tickling my face as she moved.

“Did you tell her she was making you uncomfortable?”

She shook her head. “Diane did. She told her to stop or she’d have to ask her to leave.” Brianna paused. “I don’t like causing trouble.”

“You didn’t cause trouble, sweetheart. That was all Samantha’s doing, I’m sure. You have nothing to feel sorry about. Trust me. You were perfect yesterday.”

I allowed a few minutes for both of us to sit and enjoy the time we had together. It upset me that I’d not been there for Samantha’s little interrogation, but I supposed it had been inevitable. She’d been waiting for the time to pounce and had apparently felt that was her opportunity. I was eternally grateful to my aunt, however, that she’d jumped in and put Samantha in her place.

Although I wanted nothing more than to hold her all night, I knew there was more to discuss. “What was the third thing?”

“What happened before . . . before we left.”

I could always tell how hard things were for Brianna emotionally by how many times she paused. Easy things that held little emotion for her were said without pause at all. The harder subjects, the ones that either held emotions or she was unsure of, she always hesitated. Either that or she said them with a robotic detachment.

“Your panic attack. Yes, we do need to discuss that further, don’t we?”

She shivered.
 

“I know it’s scary, Brianna, but it’s not going to go away unless we deal with it.”

“I know.” Her voice was so soft I almost didn’t hear her response.
 

“I’ll be right there to catch you. I promise.” It wasn’t a vow I took lightly, and I meant every word.

Chapter 13

Brianna

Stephan’s words comforted me, but they didn’t take away the fear completely. I knew he was right. I knew I couldn’t run away from what had happened to me. Even on my good days, which I had more often now, there was no way to forget. Every time I turned around, there were little things. It could be a word, a gesture, or even an object.
 

While brushing my hair out earlier that morning, I was hit by the memory of being beaten with the back of a hairbrush. The experience had left the back of my legs covered with welts for almost a week. I’d had to stop, close my eyes, and chant over and over again that it wasn’t real. There was no rhyme or reason as to when a memory would hit me. Ones like the hairbrush weren’t as bad as some of the others, and I was able to get them to go away on my own. I was afraid what had triggered my panic attack on Sunday morning would be a little harder to make disappear.