Truth Be Told (19 page)

“Y
ou should go to New York.”

“Why should I when we don't even know if …?” Grace gripped the telephone tighter and leaned back into her pillows. She didn't complete her sentence, tired of singing the same song.

“Because Conner asked you to,” Devry said.

Grace ran her hands along Conner's side of the bed where wrinkled sheets reminded her.

Devry continued, “And because the trip to New York means nothing more than getting the paternity test done and … perhaps meeting Solomon. I'd go.”

“That's because you're a better Christian than I am.”

“That's true,” she teased, but then her tone became serious. “You need to get focused, Grace. There's a very good chance that you're about to be with child. But look at it this way: you won't have the stretch marks.”

“I've got stretch marks, Devry, all over my heart.”

There was silence before Devry said, “Maybe God's expanded your heart. To help you make room …”

Devry stopped, but they both silently completed her sentence with the same words—“… for Solomon.”

Grace lifted Conner's pillow, closed her eyes, and inhaled, swallowing his scent. The love they shared last night reminded her of their days at Yale. They would cut classes, sneak into custodial closets, even bathroom stalls. Anything to share their hearts, two, sometimes three, times a day. They explored, discovered, enjoyed, but were never able to satisfy their desire. Sixteen years ago, that kept their love on the edge. Now they didn't need that.

Not until last night.

Grace felt as if she had experienced her husband for the first time. In a way, she had. It was the first time she'd made love to him knowing that he'd been with another woman.

Devry interrupted her thoughts. “You're going with Conner.”

Grace couldn't tell if it were a question or a demand.

Outside the bedroom window, she could see the outline of the city's skyline. During the campaign, she'd spent hours looking out this window, feeling victory in the view. How could you sit atop a city and not feel grand?

“I'm going to New York.”

Grace wasn't sure that she'd actually uttered those words until Devry said, “See, you are a good Christian.”

Her eyes remained on the window. “Maybe I just love my husband.”

“That's a good thing.”

“And if I love him, then I can find a way to …” She stopped. Find a way to do what? Love Solomon? Bring him into their home if he were Conner's son? Bring him into their home if he were not?

“My goodness, Grace, I didn't realize the time. I have a session.” Devry paused. “I wish we could talk some more.”

“I'll be fine.” Grace hung up without saying good-bye, her thoughts beyond the phone call.

If I love him, then I can find a way to
… She still couldn't finish her sentence.

Never did she believe she would have come this far. Just days ago, she never wanted to utter another word to Conner. But last night, they had shared an intimacy that still warmed her body.

This morning, she was the one who stopped him before he got out of bed. “There's something we have to do,” she had said, resting her hand on his.

He had kissed her. “You're forgetting last night.”

She shook her head and scooted from her side of the bed. When she lowered herself to her knees, Conner's smile disappeared, and he joined her.

He took her hand, and she said, “Let's pray for our children.”

“Dear Heavenly Father,” his voice shook as he began. “We come to you with praise and thanksgiving, raising before you the gifts you have blessed us with … our children. Lord, give unto Jayde, Amber, and …” He paused.

She said, “And Solomon.”

They lifted their eyes.

“And Solomon,” Conner said, keeping his gaze on Grace. With his eyes opened, he continued. “Give our children perfect hearts, to keep thy commandments, thy testimonies, and thy statutes and to do all these things, in Jesus's name.”

Together they said, “Amen.”

Grace shivered now as she remembered that moment. She'd been able to make a little room for Solomon.

“And if I can pray for him, I can do anything.”

She hoped her words were true.

T
he Statue of Liberty held her torch high, as the plane continued its descent. Grace wondered how many people had been welcomed into New York by Lady Liberty. Then she wondered how many people had viewed the statue the way she was seeing it today—with its back to the plane. Minutes later, the plane's tires screeched onto one of JFK's runways.

“Welcome to New York where the local time is four-forty. Please keep your seat belts fastened until the captain has turned off the sign indicating it is safe to move about the cabin.”

Grace locked her eyes on the window, blocking the rest of the flight attendant's words. Her mind was filled with thoughts that had held her hostage ever since she'd agreed to come to New York.

It had been the shortest twenty-four hours of her life—from noon yesterday when she agreed to this trip, to this morning when she and Conner had taken their first-class seats in the Delta Airlines superjet. The hours had been filled with tasks that rearranged her life for this intrusion. Zoë would handle the office, and Lily was thrilled to have these unexpected days with her granddaughters.

But there were times when Grace felt as if she was living through the longest hours as each passing second tortured her with new questions. What would Pilar say? What would Pilar do? What would the tests say? Would they meet Solomon? Should they?

When she went to bed after eleven last night, she couldn't close her eyes because of the images that waited in her subconscious. She'd lain awake until she surrendered and sat in the chaise for the rest of the night staring at the half moon.

The morning's light gave her new focus when she'd awakened Amber.

“Mommy, what are you going to bring me from New York?”

Grace had laughed as she checked the suitcase for items Amber may have added or subtracted. “I don't know yet, sweetie. But I promise it will be something wonderful.”

“I'm going to miss you, Mommy.”

Grace hugged her. “Me too.” Tears stung her eyes, but when she looked up and saw Jayde standing at Amber's door, she blinked them away.

From the moment they'd announced this trip, Grace had endured a long interrogation, proving that Jayde was her father's daughter. And from her stance, with her arms crossed and her eyes bearing down, Grace knew that the prosecution had not rested.

“Mom, who did you say you were visiting in New York?” Jayde asked.

“A business associate of your father's,” she said as an image of Pilar flickered in her head.

“Who specifically?”

“I told you already, Jayde, you don't know the person.” At least that was true.

“The person must have a name,” Jayde insisted.

Grace slammed Amber's suitcase shut. “That's the end to the questions, Jayde. Have you finished packing?”

“Yes.” But she stood in place, her stance her weapon.

“Then,” Grace started, “take your bag downstairs.”

Jayde held her stare for a moment longer before she turned away.

Grace wanted to be patient because she knew Jayde was treading in a pool of insecurity. In the last week, her daughter had seen a lot that didn't make sense, and this trip was another unsettling wave. But Grace didn't know how to bring peace to Jayde's heart when she had none in her own. When it was time for Conner to take the girls to Lily's, Grace had held Jayde longer than normal, hoping to fill her with assurance.

Now, as Grace focused on the other planes that crowded the runways, she wished for the reassurance that she prayed she'd given Jayde.

The seat belt sign clicked off, and Conner stood, helping Grace from her seat. He pulled her into his arms. “It's going to be all right,” he said as if he'd heard her thoughts.

She smiled. She and Conner had as much of a connection as he had with his twin. The marital bed connection. That thought tore her smile away.

At baggage claim, Grace spotted the fortyish white-haired man dressed in the standard black suit holding a cardboard sign with “Monroe” printed in black marker. His smile looked as if it was part of his job as he placed their carry-ons onto the cart, then escorted them through the maze of people to the awaiting car. While Conner helped Grace inside, the driver tossed their bags into the trunk.

It had been three years since Grace had visited this city that she loved. But as they drove past various shades of gray two-story houses along the parkway, New York wasn't as inviting as she remembered. The sun that had been bright above the clouds did not shine as they edged forward on the Van Wyck Expressway.

Conner took Grace's hand, but she kept her gaze outside.

It took seventy minutes for the car to crawl from parkway to expressway and exit on the Manhattan side of the Midtown Tunnel. The sun burned on this part of the city and brought with it an energy that felt as if they'd landed on another planet.

As they moved up the Avenue of the Americas, Grace wondered if every one of New York's seven million residents was outside. The streets pulsed; the buildings breathed. The anxiety that had been her constant companion dissipated. By the time the car cruised to a stop in front of the Plaza, she was part of New York.

“Good evening.” The black doorman, dressed in the gold-trimmed navy uniform, smiled as he opened the door and helped Grace from the car. She returned his smile and wondered why he wasn't starring in a movie somewhere.

Though this was her first time at the Plaza, Grace felt acquainted with the spectacular lobby, remembering details from her favorite movie:
The Way We Were.

Within minutes, the Plaza's staff had them inside their thirteenth-floor suite. The moment the room's door opened, they were greeted by sweeping views of Central Park that filled every floor-to-ceiling window. While Conner directed the bellman to the bedroom with their bags, Grace stood in the living room. Darkness was beginning to descend upon the never-sleeping city, but millions of lights twinkled outside.

“Would you like me to close the drapes?” the bellman asked.

“No, thank you.”

Conner tipped the bellman, then joined Grace. He enveloped her in his arms as they shared the view.

“This is a beautiful place,” she said.

“That's why I wanted to stay here.” He turned her around so they faced each other. “These aren't the best of times, but I was praying that we could make this trip … pleasurable.”

She pulled away from him. “So, what are the plans?” she asked, diverting her eyes.

“I thought we would have dinner. Maybe Tavern on the Green.” He stopped as if it hurt to say the next words. “We can call Pilar in the morning.”

She folded her arms. “We should call Pilar now, Conner. Let's handle our business.”

He looked at his watch and then moved to the phone.

Grace returned to the window, watching Conner's reflection through the glass.

“Hello, Pilar,” he said before turning his back, muffling his words.

But Grace could still hear it all. It was a simple conversation. The lawyer had become the defendant, answering questions with simple responses: “yes,” “just now,” “fine.” He turned around when he said, “Yes, she's here with me.”

Grace took a deep breath, but stayed in place as Conner made plans. Even when he hung up the phone, she remained still.

“Pilar said to tell you hello.”

She whipped around. “What are the plans?”

“We're going to meet Pilar in the morning. She'll meet us here after Solomon goes to school. I'm sending a car for her.” His words became softer with each sentence. “We'll go to the diagnostics center from here.”

She nodded, then began studying the pattern in the Persian carpet.

Conner said, “Where do you want to go?” She lifted her glance. “To eat,” he clarified.

She let a silent moment pass. “I'm going to bed.” She brushed past him. The last thing she heard before she closed the bedroom door was her husband's sigh.

“M
om,” Starlight called out. She could hear the television from one of the back bedrooms.

Lily rushed into the living room. “Starlight, what are you doing here?”

Before she could respond, Jayde came into the room. “Aunt Star?”

Starlight smiled. “Come here, girl. Give your auntie a kiss.”

“It's good to see you, Auntie Star.”

She loosened her embrace. “My goodness, you are growing into such a beautiful young lady.”

Over Jayde's shoulder, Starlight saw Amber standing with her head down. “Amber, come here so I can see you too.”

Amber smiled and hugged her aunt.

“What are you girls doing here?” Starlight asked as she held them both.

“Mommy and Daddy went away,” Amber said.

Starlight didn't miss the way Jayde pulled back. She watched her niece walk to the couch.

Amber continued, “We're staying with Nana.”

“And I bet Nana loves every moment.”

Lily smiled. “Ms. Amber, it's time for bed.”

Amber set her mouth to protest, and Lily held up her hand. “No complaining, or else you won't get any ice cream.”

Amber's eyes widened. “I can have a cup in bed like last time?”

Lily nodded. “Kiss your aunt good-night.”

They hugged, and after Lily and Amber left, Starlight joined Jayde on the couch. She playfully poked her arm. “So how is my favorite teenage niece?”

“I'm your only teenage niece.” Jayde smiled a bit.

“A technicality.” Starlight cocked her head. “You're not having a good time here?”

Jayde shrugged. “It's all right.”

Starlight smiled and remembered why she didn't have children. “Let's get some ice cream.” Together they went into the kitchen.

When Starlight opened the freezer's door, she asked, “Where did your parents go?”

“New York.” Jayde slumped at the table.

She pulled out a pint of pink bubblegum ice cream and wondered,
Didn't anyone eat vanilla anymore?
“You might want this.” She held the carton in the air for Jayde to see and then searched for another package.

“What are they doing in New York?” Starlight asked as Jayde went to the cabinets for bowls.

“Mom wouldn't tell me.”

Starlight's frown wasn't for the almond mocha truffle ice cream carton that she'd found. “Was it business?” she asked as they scooped spoonfuls into the dishes.

Jayde shrugged. “I don't know. But I think it was pretty bad. Mom and Dad have been acting weird.”

Starlight lifted her eyebrows, but remained silent. She knew when to talk—and when to listen.

Jayde continued when they sat at the table. “I think they're mad at each other.”

Starlight nodded as if she understood. “They're having problems?” It didn't make her feel good that she smiled inside.

Jayde slumped in her chair and shrugged.

Starlight knew that Jayde's information door had closed. But she had enough. “I'm sure it's okay.” She paused. “How's school? Tell me about the cute boys.”

Jayde's smile returned. “I met someone who knew all about you.”

As Jayde told her aunt about Donald, Starlight kept her eyes on her niece, but her thoughts had wandered. So Grace and Conner were having problems. They'd been so good together that Starlight believed their past would never come back. But actually, she wasn't surprised. That old boyfriend of Grace's had probably reared his head again.

“Did you leave out this ice cream?” Lily asked.

Starlight didn't even notice her mother come into the kitchen.

“Sorry,” she and Jayde said at the same time.

Lily chuckled and filled another bowl with pink bubblegum ice cream. “Do me a favor, Jayde. Take this to your sister while I talk to your aunt, please.”

Jayde stood. “Aunt Star, will you let me know when you're leaving?”

“Sure, sweetie.”

As soon as Jayde disappeared, Starlight said, “So give me the scoop on Grace and Conner.”

“They went to New York on business.”

“Jayde said Grace and Conner are having problems.”

“That's not true.”

Starlight stared at her mother, trying to determine if she was just protecting her sweet Grace. It didn't matter. She had enough information already. “Anyway, Mom, I wanted to remind you that I won't be by on Saturday. I have that conference.”

Lily leaned forward, eager to hear the details of the Sisters of the Sun conference, and Starlight obliged. It felt good to see the gleam in her mother's eyes. Lily whooped when Starlight mentioned that Pastor Carey's wife would attend.

“I'm so proud of you,” Lily exclaimed. “If I didn't have the girls, I would come.”

“That's okay, Mom,” Starlight said as she put her bowl into the dishwasher. “I'll fill you in next week.” She hugged her mother. “I've got to go. I have an early day tomorrow.”

“Don't forget to say good-bye to Jayde.”

Starlight glanced toward the hall. “Give them both a kiss for me.” She rushed into the hallway before Lily could protest.

As she ran down the stairs, a welter of emotions stirred inside. She couldn't say she was pleased Grace and Conner were having challenges. But if they were, it just proved what she'd been saying all along: there was really no difference between them. Maybe when Grace came home, she'd invite her to lunch. There were many lessons that she could pass on to her younger sister. This might just be what they needed to draw them closer.

She slid into the back seat of her car, and before her driver took his seat, she punched a number on her cell phone.

“Where are you?” she asked the moment the phone was answered.

“Where do you want me to be?” Lexington responded.

Good answer,
she thought. “In my bed in thirty minutes.” She clicked off the phone.

There was no need to spend the entire night thinking about Conner and Grace. She'd help her sister when Grace returned from New York. In the meantime, she had her own life to live.