I drew up my chair and sat down. I stood up and sat down again. Something felt different. Id sat here a thousand times and my body knew the angles to within half a degree. I looked down at where the desk legs sat on the lino. The dents were a fraction out of line. My desk had been shifted. I looked round the room.
There wasnt much to play about with in here. Desk, two chairs, phone, filing cabinet, hat stand and that was it. Had Val been dusting or mopping? Why would you move a desk that weighed a ton?
I walked through to my bedroom and looked around. If the place had been given a going over it had been done by experts. I went back through to the office and sat down. I opened my drawers. Tumbler still in the usual place, notepad, pencil, pen and ink. No bottle. I thought I had a half-full Red Label, but I guess Id got through it. I couldnt recall a real session in a while.
I walked over to my filing cabinet to check my client records, such as they were. About twenty of them by now. All neatly ordered alphabetically. A suspicion took me straight to the G section, but Kate Graveneys was there all right, and my few notes were in the correct order. I began sifting through the rest. As far as I could see, they were all there too.
Then it struck me. My clippings were missing. All the newspaper reports of the murders. I checked each of the drawers but there was no doubt. Val? Had she removed it to stop me dwelling on the horrible subject?
Then I heard footsteps. Ones I knew. They were already on the second floor. I found myself gripping the arms of my chair, conscious of trying to control my heart. Wilson hove into sight and stood panting at my door. He was sucking for air but smiling. I couldnt see any marks on his face; I couldnt have hit him hard enough.
Get out, Wilson. Or rather, dont come in.
He ignored me and slouched in. Looking for this? He drew out a folder from under his arm and waved it at me as he approached. He tossed it on my desk and slumped, chest pumping, into my visitor chair. It groaned under him. I wished his heart would pop.
I looked at my clippings file and then at him. There was still some contusion about the left eye, and his mouth looked swollen. Better. I was through playing games. I picked up my smart pen and unscrewed the top. This time I was on my own ground. If he attacked me Id see how long he could fight with a pen in his fat throat. My voice was cold. Did you have a warrant?
He smirked. By the book.
Yours, or the police manual?
All proper. Of course.
Id like to see the section that allows you to steal a mans whisky.
His smile widened. Thirsty work. Then his face closed. Why are you so interested in these murders, Mr McRae?
Mister now. What was going on? I told you before, Wilson, I was curious. Thats all. Professional curiosity.
He reached out, took the folder and flicked through the clippings. He was obviously intimate with it. He found what he was looking for and laid it out flat on my desk, facing me. It was the one reporting the arrest of the Ripper.
My handwritten Ha bloody ha! leapt out from the page.
Why did you write that?
Because I knew you had the wrong man.
And how did you know that? You cleverer than all of us down at the Yard? That it?
Looks like it, doesnt it? The man you arrested didnt fit with the picture that was coming through from the newspapers.
Oh, really. Got that from the papers, did you? Wasnt because you knew who the real murderer was?
I dont have to answer any more of these daft questions.
He sighed. Not here. Not now. But you could, if I was to arrest you.
What the hell for Wilson? Youre flying a kite.
For the murder of three women in London. Not to mention the little incident in France.
Thats bullshit! Total shite! I was furious and terrified at the same time.
Is it? After our little set-to the other night, I got a warrant, McRae. Saw your personal file at the SOE. Documents missing, werent there? But there was a note on top. Said you werent to get any information about events or people in the SOE if you came looking. Made me wonder. Didnt find the missing papers on you when you were arrested for breaking and entering. Had a little hunch. Im good at hunches. Asked for your old bosss file, Major Caldwell. What did I find?
I knew what he found. My stomach was knotted with the terror of what he would do with that information.
Seems youre a handy man with a knife.
Theres no proof!
Maybe. But it made me wonder about our little run-in in Soho. Made me wonder what you were doing there. So I got another warrant and found this. He stabbed the clippings with his finger. His nails were shredded and split like a miners.
But theyd seen no such honest work.
So what? Its no crime to read the newspapers or keep bits of them. Which was true, but I knew how it looked.
No, but its adding up. Its all adding up, McRae. Circumstantial to be sure, but its beginning to come together. He leaned over the desk at me. You ever pay little visits to Soho, McRae? You know, for fun? Like New Years Day? If we start showing your photo about the place, would they recognise you?
This was too close. I panicked. No more than theyd recognise you, Wilson, if I started asking around.
His face purpled and his mouth worked under his puffy cheeks.
I think some day soon youll make the one mistake, McRae, leave the one clue, that ties you to one of these. He pointed at the paper. And when you do, well have you back down the nick and this time youll stay there. Until of course
He mimicked a noose going round my neck and pulling tight.
He tossed the clippings folder on my desk and clumped out the room. I sipped at my cup to stop the shakes. The tea was stone cold, but I drank it anyway. Just when I thought it couldnt get worse, it had. Trouble was, I could see Wilsons point of view. Leaving aside his tendency to punch first and ask questions after, my own police training would have sent me down the same road. I would have made myself a suspect if Id been in his shoes. And he didnt know about my blackouts, those little gaps in my life that were unaccounted for except for the cryptic insane? scribbled residue.
Hell, in the grey world of circumstantial evidence I could make a case for Wilson himself being investigated. God knows what he got up to in Soho with those poor girls Mary said he misused. Did it get out of hand? He certainly had the violent tendencies. Doc Thompson would have him in a straitjacket in a flash.
Ive found that when theres so much shit coming your way that youre going to drown in it, the best thing to do is start swimming. It still stinks, but you can take your mind off it by concentrating on staying afloat. Thats how I survived when my unit of the Seaforths was under fire from tanks, machine guns, artillery and Stuka bombers in the desert.
My leg was broken and bleeding from being blown against one of our Shermans by a near miss. I stopped the bleeding with a tourniquet made from the belt of a man who no longer needed to hold his trousers up. I made a splint from the ribs of the wrecked canopy of a truck. I collected three water bottles and started my hobble towards my own lines. Or at least where my own lines had been yesterday; we moved a lot. It was a long three days; I had to keep stopping to release the tourniquet before my leg dropped off. I holed up in a hollow I scraped in the tough desert sand during the day and hobbled slowly in the night. The war was going on around me, but all I concentrated on was walking.
It worked. Im here. It was time to tie on my tourniquet again, set my compass and make a start.
I took my pad out and wrote two names at the top. On the left, the dowdy Mrs Caldwell, on the right, the elegant Kate. Then I started to write what I knew under both of them. Then I wrote down the simple questions I wanted to put to them both.
Kate
Are you also known as Mrs Catriona Caldwell?
Whats your real relationship with Tony Caldwell?
What was really wrong with you in the hospital the night of the bomb?
Why hire me to find out if he was dead? You could have done it yourself.
Liza
Are you or are you not married to Tony C?
Why dont you care enough that your husband is dead?
Did he mention the murder to you? What else did he say about me?
Why are you lying to me?
Finally I stared at both columns trying to plan what action to take. I needed to move fast; Wilson was bearing down on me. But I also needed to move with circumspection; I didnt think Id get anywhere by phoning up Kate or Liza and asking if I could pop round for tea and questions. I thought about where they lived, and then the decisions became very easy. Lizas house bordered the heath.
It would give me terrain to operate from.
SIXTEEN
The next day, good and early, I got out my sole remaining screwdriver and my hammer. The screwdriver was fine and thin and it didnt take much bashing on the edge of the iron stove to knock up a snake-ended pick. It wasnt the quality of my bike-spoke versions but it would have to do.
I dug out my oldest clothes: a tough jacket of Harris tweed that still smelled of my father, corduroy trousers, boots and a good flat cap. I put them on over vest, shirt and a sleeveless pullover my mother had knitted. When I got out of hospital shed sent down a cardboard box full of my old stuff, on the mail train that stops at Kilpatrick on its way south from Glasgow.
I inspected myself in my mirror. I looked like a poacher. The pick went into my breast pocket along with a good clasp knife with enough gadgets to earn me a dozen scouts badges. I washed out a big hip flask and filled it with water, turfed out my gas mask from its canvas shoulder bag and replaced it with the flask. A pack of fags, matches and some Spam sandwiches went in alongside.
Lastly I rolled up my plastic mac and stuffed it into the bag. This lot would see me right if I had to hole up for twenty-four hours.
I kept hoping to hear Vals cheery voice before I left. Truth is Id have liked her blessing. Maybe shed had second thoughts about me. Or maybe and I kept wondering this she was married and couldnt get away. It would explain a lot.
There was one thing I needed but didnt have. I knew where to get it, though: a little army surplus shop at Camberwell Green.
Bird watching then, guv?
Tanks, I replied, twisting the screw on a pair of binoculars and aiming out the dusty window across the road.
None of my business, I know.
It wasnt. I paid for the bins and found space in my gas mask case, and made for the tube.
If you walk up Hampstead Hill and into the trees on the edge of the Heath, you can circle round and get yourself to a vantage point on the wooded hill above Willow Road. From there to Lizas house was a distance of about four hundred yards. There are enough shrubs and tree trunks, even in their denuded winter state, to provide cover. I found a spot down from the path where I had angled but unobstructed views of the Caldwell house and the whole area either side of her front gate. I didnt need the binoculars to maintain my broad sweep.
The weather was cold and damp, but at least it wasnt snowing. Real winter was forecast, but mainly for Scotland and the north of England. With luck it would steer clear of us. I piled dead leaves under my plastic mac and settled down to wait. I wasnt entirely sure what I was looking for; visitors to Mrs Caldwell?
Tony Caldwell himself in some fanciful resurrection? In truth I was following the habits Id adopted as a private detective; stake out the target and watch, watch and note, wait for them to do something that convicts them. But what could Mrs Caldwell be guilty of?
It was a quiet street, even by the standards of the suburbs. Hardly a soul went by and cars were as rare as a winter tan. I felt the woods gently embrace me. A blackbird echoed through the bare trees and a dog barked from some distance away. The stillness infected me, and reminded me of long walks with my dad in the sounding woods above Dundonald Castle, a bus ride from Kilpatrick. Wed leave my mother laying out the old plaid and setting out the hard-boiled eggs, the meat-paste sandwiches and the vacuum flask with lemonade. And wed go off into the woods and learn the names of trees and birds.
I raised my glasses and watched a man go by with a dog, talking to it as if he expected an answer. Then a couple who looked like theyd done all their talking years ago; then a weary old woman. I watched their closed faces and wondered about their lives. I trained my sights on the house to see if there was movement behind the net curtains. Nothing. And no smoke from her chimney. Had she gone away for a few days? By mid-afternoon I was stiff and cold and increasingly convinced this bird had flown. Then suddenly her door opened. Liza Caldwell stepped out in coat and hat. She had a little wicker shopping trolley which she carried down the short run of steps. She trundled off down the street.
An hour later she was back, and I could see she really had been shopping. She had to haul her basket up behind her, straining on each step. Soon afterwards lights went on in some windows and finally the street lights did too. I rose, aching and chilled. My ribs felt as though theyd been put through my mothers mangle. I shook my mac and began the trek home, looking forward to warming up in front of a fire with a glass of whisky in my hand.
I repeated the pattern the next day. She was a creature of habit, our Liza. What did she do all day alone in the house? I would have kept up the vigil for the rest of the week except for the headache that started to come down on me as I travelled back to my flat. Maybe sitting in the cold with my eyes screwed up, peering down at the little house set something off.
I took to bed as the clamps came down. I think I got up a couple of times to be sick. Once I found myself in coat and pyjamas in the entrance hall, not sure if I was just going out or coming in. Sleepwalking of some sort. Then the blackness floored me for a full day and another night. I woke shivering and sick, my bedclothes in a damp tangle.