Turn Towards the Sun (20 page)

“Honestly, no I didn’t. The only thing on my mind was getting outside to see you. It’s the only thing I wanted all day, just to be with you again.” I stroke his arm.

He looks up and smiles. “You are making me crazy Ava. Everything about you is…I don’t even know how to explain it. My whole life is upside down because of you. It’s uncomfortable for me
sometimes,
but it’s also exhilarating.”

“I could say those same exact words to you.”

“I
have
some bad news.”

“What’s the matter?”

“I have to entertain some of my partners that flew into town today for dinner.”

“Okay.” More time without him.

“
I’d much rather be alone with
you,
but
I hope you don’t mind sitting through another boring dinner with me.”

“I’ll be fine. I can hold my own.”

“Yes
,
I know this. Remember
,
be yourself.”

I feel relieved that the tension is gone. He’s got a wild jealous streak that I know I have to dea
l with. Truth be told, when it comes to him, so do I.

“So you built the building I work in huh?” I nudge his arm lightly while he drives.

“I designed it, yes.” He looks embarrassed.

“
Why do you
seem shy about your work
right now
?”

“I’m not shy about it. I
t’s just strange to
talk about it so directly with
you. I’m more accustomed to discussing my work conceptually
, not with people close to me
.”

“It’s because it’s me? Because I work there?”

“I don’t know how to explain it. Usually I lean more towards bragging actually, but when I’m with you, my work is the last thing on my mind.”

I rub his arm. “I’m proud of your work, your creativity and vision is amazing. I’m glad I get to experience it directly.”

He turns and looks at me, his blue eyes softening into cooling puddles. “Thank you.” It’s the
sincerest
thank you I’ve ever heard.

We pull up to Girasole and walk towards Milano. My body tenses and I look around for Anna before I remember she’s not here anymore.

“Stephanie was so excited this morning when I stopped in the shop. She had a notebook of ideas for the store, many of them very good. I doubled her pay. Hazard pay for dealing with, what did you call her, The Bitch?”

I giggle. When he says bitch it sounds a lot more like beach.

“I’m sure she deserves it and will earn her pay.” I note. We walk in, welcomed by Sylvia once more.

“So nice to see you again.” She says, shaking my hand
and
looking more than a little surprised. We walk to a large table in the center where several men and two women are sitting. They stand as Enzo approaches.

“Please sit.” They all sit.

“This is Ava.” I recognize the man who asked me about the purple room from the awards ceremony. Oh and that’s the woman who wasn’t convinced yet
.
They both nod at me in recognition.

I try to amuse myself among all the financial discussions. He’s right
,
this is very boring. I try to look interested nodding my head so often and laughing when they do
.
I have no idea what they are talking about. Every so often, Enzo squeezes my thigh under the table and winks at me.

Paolo brings out platters of linguine with clams, eggplant parmesan, and pan fried chicken. The conversation dies down a bit while everyone eats. I think I could eat here every day
,
although not if I don’t want to go shopping for a larger dress size.

Three hours pass in discussion regarding Boston and the Italy projects. We are finishing our tiramisu and all I can think of is home. Up at five and home at ten, not sure I can keep up that schedule. I can tell Enzo is ready to leave as well. We finally
say
our goodbyes. Stepping outside, several photographers call out our names.

“Miss Bradshaw! Mr. Milano!” All I can see are flashes of light everywhere.

“Shit.” I hear Enzo and feel his hand on my arm guiding me back to valet.

“Walk quickly Ava.”

“What’s going on?”

“I’ll tell you later. Keep walking.” We move as quickly as possible. I feel a slight tug on my arm but see no one. Valet has our car waiting.

“What the hell was that about Enzo?”

He is pissed. “I told you. Now they know your name they want to know more about you. You’ve been seen with me more than
once,
and that’s hot news. Fucking gossip.”

He glances at me as he drives. “I wonder how they knew we were there. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I’ve just never experienced anything like that before.” I’m a little shaken.

“
I
t happens unfortunately. Not often. The longer you’re around the less they will care.” He offers a weary smile.

             
“Does this happen everywhere you go?”

“No. Not in Europe and not in most cities. The ones I frequent the most though, yes.”

We go back to my
apartment,
and I kick off my shoes the minute we walk in. I head straight to my room, peeling off all my clothes as I go. Standing in my panties and
bra,
I brush my teeth and wash my face. Enzo is standing in the doorway of the bathroom watching me. I roll my eyes. He grabs me around the waist and playfully bites my shoulder. I put my robe on and head to the kitchen. He follows, still watching.

“I need to charge my phone.” I reach into my purse and feel something foreign. I pull out a small manila envelope. What is this? I open it and can’t believe my eyes.

“Ava
,
what is it?”

I’m staring at the photo in my hand in disbelief, a hundred thoughts and emotions racing through my mind. I’m upset, sad, hurt, humiliated. A note at the top says, “You’re not the only one.”
My eyes fill
with tears. He lied
to me? He’s playing me? Oh God.
Oh no. I feel him from
behind,
and I freeze.

“Ava, what’s wrong?”

I turn to him and hand him the picture
,
saying nothing.

He turns pale.
“I can explain.”

I stare hard at him. “Can you?” I can’t imagine how he can explain a picture of him kissing another woman taken just four days ago.

“It’s not what it looks like.”

“Do you know how cliché that is? I really don’t want to hear it Enzo.
And you were the one acting jealous because I
talked
to a guy.
I should’ve known you would have more women. How would someone like me get someone like you all for herself?”

My voice falters as tears flow down my face. How could I fall for this? I believed him. I thought he was falling for
me,
and here I found out he’s been keeping his options open all along.

“Ava you’ve got it wrong.
You are jumping to conclusions.
And what do you mean someone like you?” His face is red with anger. He has no right to be angry at me.

“
Don’t raise your voice at me!
Obviously,
someone wanted me to see this. They went out of their way to make sure it got into my hands. Why did you tell me all those things if it wasn’t true Enzo? Is this some kind of game you play?”

My voice cracks
. Why am I crying
like this
? I’ve known this guy less than a month.
I knew I
should have
stuck to my plan. I wouldn’t be
feeling this pain and embarrassment if I had.

He starts pacing and runn
ing his hands through his hair.
“Ava please, let me talk.”

I slump on my couch.
He sits next to me and touches my
arm,
but I stiffen. He’s not going to distract me.

“Ava. I’ll tell you the truth.” 

I look
up,
wiping tears from my eyes. His
eyes are sad
.

“I’m listening.”

“The woman in the picture…,” he takes
a deep breath before continuing.
“
Her
name is Lucia.” I stare blankly.

“You asked me who hurt me. Now you know.”

What does that mean? He went to see the woman that broke his heart? Was it one last try before settling on me? Or does she want him back?

“She lives in Boston. We dated ten years ago right after I moved to the states. I was doing an internship with a Boston construction
firm,
a
nd she was the office manager.”

He reaches for my
hand,
but I pull it away.
I’m really not interested in this trip down memory lane.

He sighs. “I called her and asked her to dinner because I needed to talk to her. I needed to tell her some things.”

I turn my eyes away not wanting to hear the part where he tells her he still wants her. He grabs my chin and turns my face towards him.

“I needed to tell her what she did to me and how it affected me.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. It felt unfinished to me. She was the only woman I ever thought I
loved,
and she broke me into a hundred pieces.” The sadness in his voice makes me want to reach out to
him,
but I’m still afraid.

“So we talked. I told her about the pain I felt and how I was never going to fall in love again so no woman could ever do what she did to me. I told her what a womanizing asshole I’ve been ever since and how I used to think about her every single fucking night.”

I try to turn away, to get the words out of my head, but he holds my
shoulders,
so I can’t look away.

“I told her I hoped she was as miserable as she made me.”

“And she reacted by kissing you?” My throat tightens as I speak.

“No. She reacted by telling me that we were young and
stupid,
and she didn’t mean to hurt me but she didn’t know what she wanted yet. She told me that she was proud of my
success,
and she felt terrible for how she treated me. Then she told me she was happily married and had three
kids,
and she hoped I would find happiness too.”

“What did she do to you Enzo?”

“She cheated on me, several times. I took her back every time. But the last time was with my best friend. My only friend in America at the time.
Hence, the trust issues.
”

I know the pain he felt all too well.

“Do you want to know the rest Ava?”

I nod.

“She asked me why after all these years I looked her up to tell her all this. I told her because two weeks ago I stopped being angry. I stopped womanizing, and I stopped thinking about her every day.”

Okay he’s got my attention now.

“I told her that I just needed to see her face to face to tell her how my life was
affected,
but that I’ve let it go.”

“But what about the
kiss,
Enzo?”

“We stood to leave the
restaurant,
and she extended her arms for a hug. I hugged
her,
and she kissed my cheek. The angle and darkness make it look like more than it is.”

I study the picture
again,
and I can see it’s true.

“But I swear Ava, that’s all it was. I had to make peace with my past so I could move into my future. With you.
I was going to tell you all about this. I have nothing to hide from you.
” 

I sit silently replaying his words in my head. “She’s the reason you’re a dick to woman? The reason yo
u don’t trust anyone?” I
wipe my nose with the sleeve of my robe.

“Yes. After her
,
I was so broken. I gave her my all and she crushed me. I didn’t want to feel like that
ever again
so I avoided any chance of a relationship.”

“So she’s the reason you haven’t made love to me yet?”

“No, not exactly. She is the reason I avoided relationships for so many years. But you are the reason I wanted to wait for sex.”

I’m
confused. “I don’t get it Enzo.”

“I’ve told you before, something about you makes me want to try, makes me want to be in a relationship. I wanted more than sex with you almost from the
moment
I met you. I finally feel like I want to open my hea
rt again to someone.
You.”