Turning It on (Red Hot Russians) (14 page)

“Desperate? Uh, no.” She pushed her plate away, ready for this date to end. “I’m here because Jack and I wanted to help our old friend Eric, the producer of the show.”

“The old friend who’s made it possible for your fiancé to have sex with other women.”

“He’s made it possible for me to have sex with other men.”

“Which you won’t. I’d say that’s sadly obvious.”

“Of course not. I love Jack, and want to support him as he lives out a dream.”

Darcy wrinkled his nose. “If this is his dream, then his ambitions are small indeed. Moreover, you continue to believe the illusion that your life and relationship are happy. I’m sorry, Miss Levinson, but no man who was truly in love would do something like this, not even to help an old friend.”

“You don’t know anything about me, or about us.”

“Only what I see. To me, it’s all quite odd and more than a little tawdry.” He shrugged. “Still, it soothes my conscience over trying to come between you.”

“Well your conscience can rest at ease, because you are not coming between us.” Their waiter was on the opposite side of the room. Hannah made eye contact and signaled. “Check, please.”

On the silent ride back to the resort, the conversation with Darcy played in her mind. Vlad had said essentially the same thing; he had just been kinder about it. But Darcy’s galling remark about her desperation? She agreed to this out of love, not desperation. Yet a small voice reminded her that she was also a wallflower with cartoon-character breasts and a lifelong fixation on one man. Could that have blinded her to real problems in their relationship?

Impossible. Everyone has always known Jack and I belong together, and the fact he finally proposed proves he knows it, too! We were happy and once this stupid show is over, we’ll be happy again.

The limousine stopped at the resort entrance. Darcy turned, and gave a courtly nod. “I bid you good night, though I believe farewell is probably more appropriate.”

Aware of the ever-present camera and embarrassed by the entire situation, Hannah forced a laugh. “Thank you, Mr. Darcy, for a fascinating evening.”

Hannah was still fuming an hour later, as she sat in the makeup chair preparing for the elimination shoot. Deena draped her with a plastic cape, and then chuckled as she tugged a comb through Hannah’s hair. “Who’s goin’ home tonight, sweetheart? If it’s Heathcliff, feel free to send him my way. Him or the Russian, I’ll take either one. Better yet, both.”

Rox flicked a soft makeup brush over Hannah’s face. “If Tammy dumps Vlad the Bad, you’re going to have to fight me for him. Unless you’re willing to share.”

Beneath the cape, Hannah gripped the arms of the chair. A disturbing mental image of Vlad in bed with Deena and Rox, who were happily licking Pomegranate Splash Nutra-Water from his washboard abs, replaced thoughts of Darcy. She had not given a lot of thought to who else might be going home tonight. The departure of Robynne would be good news. Excellent, fabulous, shout it from the rooftops news. But Vlad? Not so much.

Not simply because he’d kissed her, though she had liked that very much. Instead, it was because of his kindness and empathy. His appreciation for books. Not at all what she would have expected from a man who stripped for a living. A shame he was here as one of Tammy’s flings, not hers. Since she had no intentions of cheating on Jack, she and Vlad could simply enjoy each other’s company, without the unsettling question of what might happen behind closed doors.

Unfortunately, Hannah had no idea of the Team Red bride’s intentions. If Vlad ended up as Tammy’s Final Fling, would she expect him to follow through? Vlad said that Tammy loved Chris, but also didn’t rule out the possibility of her wanting a night with him. If it came to that, what would Vlad do?

For that reason only, Hannah found herself hoping that tonight, the decision would be made for him.

They were brought to the studio. She and Jack sat in front of a blue backdrop, Chris and Tammy in front of a red one. The flings took their customary spots in the audience. A PA snapped the black-and-white clapboard, and at center stage, Cody smiled into the cameras positioned on either side. “This week, our couples have gone on fabulous...and not so fabulous first dates. Let’s bring them up, one by one, and find out which flings are still tantalizing, and who is spoiled fruit.” He turned and held out his hand. “Hannah?”

She took a deep breath and walked to center stage. Cody put his arm around her waist. “Hannah, Hannah. A whole week of first dates. Ever had an experience like it before?”

“Can’t say that I have,” she said, then immediately regretted it. She was playing right into their hands.

Cody laughed. “I’m sure it was a real thrill for a girl like you. Who was first?”

“Crusher. On Tuesday night, we attended an art gallery opening and wine tasting, followed by a charity gala to benefit one of his favorite causes. We had a wonderful evening and really connected.”

“Great, that’s great. What was next?”

“On Wednesday, Heathcliff took me paintballing.”

“Paint...balling?” The host gave a lascivious chuckle, and the audience howled. At least most of them. On the Team Red side, Vlad sat between Alison Michaels and Daphne the bartender wearing a stony expression. “How did your next date top that?”

“Thursday night’s dinner theater with Jeff Scott Fitzgerald was truly memorable. He performed the entire score of
Cats
all the way back to the resort.”

“What’s better than a man who knows his show tunes? What came next?”

“On Friday, Byron took me to an all-night underground dance club.” It would probably ruin the effect to mention that she was one of the few women in the place and that her date was on the prowl the entire time, so she merely smiled.

“Details...” said deWylde. “We want details, right, audience?” Everyone except Vlad clapped and cheered.

“Sorry. None to give.”

“Too bad. And last?”

She sighed. “That would be Darcy. We went to dinner. It was...” She paused, not wanting to reveal her true feelings. “Nice.”

“Nice?”

“Nice. But I’m afraid Mr. Darcy is spoiled fruit.”

Hannah felt no regrets as the actor rose from his chair, offered a stiff bow and left the room to audience applause and the thump-thump-thump bass riff of Queen’s “Another One Bites The Dust.”

Jack was next, and despite her hopes that he might deem Robynne’s continued presence too upsetting to the true love of his life, he dismissed Nicole, one of the models. Seemingly overcome with emotion, Robynne threw her arms around the girl, while Cristal Glass blew a sarcastic kiss at her departing rival. Chris eliminated Felicia, Tammy’s soon-to-be-former bestie. Should Chris and Tammy’s relationship survive, Hannah hoped the girl wasn’t counting on a wedding invite.

Then it was Tammy’s turn. Hannah held her breath as she told of going horseback riding with Aussie Will and to a pro soccer game with Omar. Trent, Chris’s alleged friend, took her on a motorcycle ride. She went hang gliding with Ignacio, and on a whale-watching cruise with Vlad.

“Whale watching?” deWylde chuckled. “See any big fish?”

“No, but afterward, we went to a carnival near the beach.”

The host winked. “Care to tell us about your favorite...ride?” Everyone laughed, though Hannah did not find the joke very funny. She glanced over at Vlad, sitting quietly on the Team Red couch.

“Well,” Tammy began. “The roller coaster was pretty good, and so was the Ferris wheel. We got stuck at the top and made that car rock, that’s for damn sure.”

Laughter turned to catcalls, as Tammy grinned. Chris, his bulk perched on a spindly stool, shot murderous looks at Vlad, who wore a tight, uneasy expression.

Cody turned to the camera. “Sounds like you have a tough choice, Tammy. Who’s it gonna be?”

The woman’s gaze fell on the couch where Vlad sat. Hannah held her breath. “I wish I could keep them all. But if one’s got to go...since Chris sent my ex-best friend home, I’ll return the favor. Trent, you’re outta here!”

As the cast watched a video montage of the departing flings, Hannah felt the lightness of relief. She was happy Vlad would not be leaving just yet, though it was oddly bittersweet. Had he been sent home tonight, Vlad could have walked away with his conscience intact. As nice as it would be to have him around the next eight weeks, Hannah feared what might happen on final selection night.

Seeing Vlad placed in that situation would be even worse than saying goodbye.

Chapter Thirteen

“You don’t like her, do you?”

The question surprised Hannah, especially when she turned and saw its source. Cristal Glass, in all her surgically enhanced glory, stood beside the complex sand castle Hannah and her three remaining studs had created for this morning’s challenge. It won second place. Not good enough to win the challenge prize, which was a private show by last season’s
Celebrity Dance-Off
cast, but at least better than the one by Jack and his women. Was Cristal experiencing sand castle envy?

“Why do you say that?” Hannah asked, trying to keep her voice casual.

“She’s after your man, Cleopatra... Queen of Denial.” Hannah winced at her delightful new nickname, courtesy of last night’s episode. Highlights had included extensive footage of Darcy ogling other women, and Jack and Robynne slow dancing by candlelight. For those who missed it the first time, there was a repeat of Hannah’s “rock-solid” interview, followed by a snippet of an old country song with the catchy refrain,
“just call me Cleopatra, everybody, ’cause I’m the Queen of Denial!”

Hannah glared. “Just couldn’t resist, could you? And not to be Captain Obvious or anything, but you’re after him, too.”

Cristal tossed her platinum-blond hair. “Honey, I don’t give a crap about Jack Gordon. To me, he’s a means to an end.”

“What end would that be?”

“Fame, girlfriend. Kardashian-sized fame. If Jack picks me for his last fling, I’ll stick around long enough to get my picture on the cover of every magazine and ink a movie deal, then I’m gone.”

“I can’t believe you’re admitting that.” Hannah glanced around for a cameraman, hoping there was one nearby. But like cops and good hair days, they were never there when you needed them.

“Hey, I can be honest. No need for subterfuge.” Cristal frowned. “And don’t look so surprised, I know what it means. Just because I didn’t go to fucking college doesn’t mean I’m stupid.” She dragged a twig across a sand turret, etching in a design. “Where’s your ring? Afraid of getting sand on it?”

Hannah clenched her jaw and looked down at her bare left hand. After last night’s episode, she felt stupid wearing it. “As a matter of fact, yes.”

Cristal snorted, and then hummed the Cleopatra refrain under her breath. Hannah looked away, her gaze drawn to the volleyball court where the cast was choosing sides for a game. Just about everyone was there, except for her, of course, and Jack and Robynne, who sat by their last-place sand castle, talking quietly as the cameras filmed. A trill of little-girl laughter floated across the beach.

Cristal curled her lip in disgust. “Gag. All that stuff about her family? I’ll lay you odds Cancer Dad doesn’t even exist. I’ve seen her kind, and she’s dangerous. Know why?”

Hannah already had a good idea, but Cristal’s take on this might be interesting. “Why?”

“Because she wants Jack, and she’ll do whatever it takes to get him. The longer she sticks around, the worse for you.”

Hannah gave a harsh laugh and etched a similar design on her own sand turret. A shame the tide would wash it away. At the water’s edge, Jack gazed intently at Robynne, his hands clasped around his bent knees. Robynne’s long hair blew photogenically in the ocean breeze. “Yeah, well if you think Jack’s going to eliminate her, you’re delusional,” Hannah said.

“He won’t eliminate her. Not unless someone gives him a good reason.” Cristal held Hannah’s gaze, and tilted her head sharply toward the rolling surf, conveying a silent message.
Let’s take a walk.
She rose and strolled leisurely toward the water’s edge.

Hannah watched, bewildered, then glanced down at the microphone attached to her T-shirt. Then she got it. The water would muffle their conversation.

They walked along the beach and as Robynne smiled gently, then reached out to touch Jack’s arm, Cristal rolled her eyes. “Look at her. All sweetness and pure as the driven snow for the cameras, batting her eyes like she’s Bambi or something. But as soon as they’re gone?” Cristal hummed the screeching “Psycho” theme song and pantomimed stabbing. “Two-faced, just like you said.”

Hannah didn’t recall saying it, but she had certainly thought it. Behind the sweet, virginal facade, Robynne’s eyes held a glint of ruthlessness that suggested she would do anything to get what she wanted. At the very least, it was reassuring that someone else saw through Robynne Lovejoy. Cristal seemed perceptive. She had played the reality TV game well enough to win a sugar daddy and marry him, all before she was old enough to drink legally. Not a bad person to have in one’s corner. Assuming she could be trusted.

“What do you think I should do?”

“You need an alliance of people you can count on. Team Hannah.”

Team Hannah? That had a nice ring. “How do I get an alliance?”

“Ask yourself who, besides you and me of course, benefits if Robynne is gone.”

“Any of the Team Blue girls, I guess.”

Cristal shook her head. “You have to be careful with girls. They’re sneaky. Once Robynne is gone, you’ll need a way to take out each of them. My advice? Find a guy to help you. Blue or red team, doesn’t matter.”

Hannah’s eyes laser-beamed on Vlad, sheer perfection in red-and-white board shorts and a loose-cut tank that showed his muscular arms and shoulders to their best advantage.

Cristal followed her gaze. “Not him. They’ve marked him as the villain. There’s a reason for it.”

“He’s nothing like how he’s portrayed.” Hannah said, though with a stir of uneasiness.

Cristal shrugged. “If you say so. But I wouldn’t trust him.”

Vlad had fared even worse that she had in last night’s show. When asked how he’d become one of The Male Room’s top attractions, he’d tilted his head back in an arrogant pose, and spoken in a cold voice. “In every group, there’s a girl not as pretty as the rest. A girl no one pays attention. So I dance for her and make her feel good. She makes me feel good, too.”

“How does she do that?” the interviewer asked.

The stripper offered a rare smile. “With tens and twenties. Sometimes more.” The scene switched to him dancing for a room full of women, as a homely girl with a rapt expression stuffed a twenty into his thong. Then his voice. “When that happens, I close my eyes and pretend I’m someplace else.”

She could only imagine how Tammy, who had fallen for Vlad when he danced for her at The Male Room, felt after hearing that. Probably as bad as Hannah felt remembering how he’d told her she was beautiful, then kissed her. Had he meant it, or was she being played?

Cristal continued. “If you’re hot for him, that’s another reason not to choose him. Once your enemies figure out he’s on your side, he’ll become a target. Better to pick a guy who’s hot
for you
. Someone you can wrap around your finger and will do whatever you say.”

Hannah’s gaze shifted from Cristal’s revealing white bikini to her own sloppy, sand-covered T-shirt. “I think you’ve confused me with someone else.”

Cristal rolled her eyes. “Fine. Pick someone physically strong and malleable.”

Another five-dollar word from Texas’s youngest billionaire widow. Hannah considered the rest of Tammy’s UN delegation. The Aussie dive master was physically strong, though he did not strike her as malleable. Neither did Omar or Ignacio, who seemed too full of Latin machismo to dance to the tune of any woman, least of all her.

Maybe someone from her team. Heathcliff was strong, but had dug in his heels over a minor point of sand castle design. Not exactly Mr. Malleable. Jeff Scott would blow away in a stiff breeze. So would Byron, who didn’t seem likely to go out on a limb for anyone. That left Crusher. He was big and strong. He was also gay, and immune to whatever feminine charms she might possess...but her gut told her she could trust him. He had been there the night of the double date, and understood Hannah’s dire situation. She nodded. “I know who.”

* * *

The next morning on the bus ride to El Yunque National Rain Forest, Hannah peered out at the clouds overhead. It looked like rain, though no one had mentioned canceling today’s hike. Drenched women in clingy T-shirts, plus a few mudslide injuries, must equal good TV.

Byron Lord sat beside her, ranting about the shocking incompetence of the decorator he hired to redo his London flat. Hannah nodded at appropriate times, while straining to hear the others’ conversation, especially that of Crusher and Robynne, who sat across the aisle, three seats back.

At last night’s luau, Hannah and Cristal had discreetly pulled Crusher aside and pitched their plan. Nothing dangerous or difficult—they’d merely asked that Crusher pair off with Robynne for the hike in El Yunque, and “get lost,” long enough to arouse Jack’s suspicion and sling a little mud on Robynne’s girl-next-door image. The wrestler, who’d come on
Last Fling
to give his public image a boost of macho, agreed and the fix was on. Now she heard him laying the groundwork with Robynne. “Trails are fine for tourists, but you don’t get to really see a place until you hike backcountry. I remember once in Yellowstone...”

Crusher’s voice was lost in the buzz of conversation that filled the bus, and Hannah picked out Vlad’s exotic Russian speech as he and Roller Derby Gina discussed skating—ice verses roller. The purple-haired skater had latched on to him that morning, and as much as it hurt, putting distance between herself and the stripper seemed a wise choice.

They drove past an impressive A-framed visitors’ center at the park’s entrance, and the winding two-lane road ascended though dense forest on both sides. Through occasional breaks in the trees were stunning views; a waterfall, an odd Moorish-style observation tower and another waterfall. They parked at a smaller visitors’ center and everyone scrambled out. Hannah rubbed her bare arms. It was much cooler than it had been when they left the resort. Maybe shorts and a T-shirt had not been the wisest choice. It was also extremely humid and she swore she could feel her hair bushing out from beneath her floppy trail hat.

Since Crusher had claimed Robynne, Jack teamed with Kirstin, though he didn’t appear very happy about it. It seemed that Vlad would hike with Gina. Hannah turned to Byron and cocked her head, trying to project some of Cristal’s and Gina’s tough-girl sexiness. “So...you and me?”

Byron shot a wary look at the gigantic ferns that surrounded the parking lot. “I suppose. Though be warned, I detest hiking. This place reminds of Jurassic Park. And not in a good way.” He took a canister from his backpack and sprayed his exposed arms and neck. “Want some? The mosquitoes here are probably big enough to carry away small children.”

“Sure. Can you put it on me?” Hannah asked, still channeling Cristal. She lifted her T-shirt to expose her lower back. The camera was filming and the Brit complied, though it did no more for her than it did for him.

Cynthia Bishop stood with a clipboard directing the camera crews. There were four, one each to follow Hannah, Jack, Tammy and Chris and their respective partners. The rest of the flings were free to explore the park as they pleased, unfettered by the presence of cameras. All the better for Crusher to create a little drama with Robynne. A ranger in a khaki uniform handed out maps as Cody deWylde explained the challenge. “You will have three hours to complete the hike. The first pair to arrive back wins ten points for their team, the second pair nine points and so on and so forth. The team with the most points wins a fabulous day of pampering at the exclusive Namaste yoga retreat and spa. I know I could use a little inner peace, how about you?”

“If Team Red wins, we want you to come,” said Miss October.

DeWylde winked. “If you’re around, sweet thing, I just might.”

The ranger took over. “Trails to the summit and to the waterfalls leave from this center, and all lead back here. Eventually.”

Nervous laughter rippled through the cast.

“The trails are marked, but the terrain can be steep and treacherous, especially after rain, which comes frequently. One hundred billion gallons of rain fall on El Yunque each year, so we hope you brought umbrellas.”

More nervous laughter. Of course, no one had.

“El Yunque is home to over two hundred and forty species of plants and fifty species of birds, some that can’t be found anywhere else in the world. Our Puerto Rican boa constrictor grows up to seven feet long, though few visitors report seeing it. If you do, we urge extreme caution. There is also the coqui tree frog, many rare species of butterfly, tarantulas and the giant millipede.”

Byron frowned as he examined the bug spray label. “This says nothing about tarantulas or giant millipedes.”

“Let’s hope we don’t run into any.” Hannah unfolded the paper map the ranger had given them and studied the complex network of trails that led to the El Yunque summit, or down to the waterfalls they had passed on the way in. Byron peered over her shoulder. “We passed these waterfalls, but there’s a third over here we didn’t see.” She tapped her fingertip on a waterfall symbol to the left of the highway.

“La Mina Falls Trail,” Byron said, reading the map. “It looks easy. And short.”

The cast was summoned to the trailheads to await the starting signal. Jack and Kirstin were taking one of the summit trails, as were Cristal and Jeff Scott, Crusher and Robynne. Vlad sat on a picnic table, studying a map. Gina paced back and forth for the camera crew that was supposed to be following Tammy and Will. If Gina wanted a camera crew so badly, Hannah was happy to offer hers.

Cody and a production assistant walked to the center of the parking lot. The PA held a black-and-white checkered flag; Cody pointed a small pistol into the air. “On your marks, get set... Go!”

The starting shot echoed in the jungle, and everyone, including the camera crews, took off running. The downhill La Mina Falls Trail was treacherous, as Hannah and Byron scrambled down stone steps that were slick with moisture and mud. A freakishly large butterfly fluttered close her face. The air was heavy with mist and water dripped from the trees overhead. The dense foliage and the loud chirping of tree frogs masked the roar of the falls, and Hannah didn’t know they had reached them until they walked into the clearing and saw La Mina tumbling from about forty feet overhead into a rocky pool.