He approached Aline where she stood by the
brazier in her borrowed blue gown, with her hair down around her
shoulders. Outside the snowstorm still raged, but in his chamber it
was warm.
“I love you, Aline. In proof, I give you t
his ring.” He took it off his hand and held it out to her, a gold
band with a carved design of a flower on it, centered with a small
red stone. “I had a sister once, who died in childbirth when she
was but fifteen. This was hers. I had it stretched to fit my little
finger and I’ve worn it ever since that time. Now, I want you to
have it.”
His hands were much larger than Aline’s so
she put the ring on the index finger of her left hand.
“I will treasure it,” she said. “But, Adam, I
have nothing to give you in return.”
“Did you not hear what I just said?” he
asked. “You have made me laugh again. You’ve shown me that I am not
too old to love. With you I have found a tenderness and passion
unlike anything I have ever known before. What greater gifts could
there be than those?”
“But you’ve done the same for me, so it’s a
fair exchange, and I am still in your debt,” she murmured, wishing
she could promise to remain with him forever and be certain the
promise could be kept.
“Give me your heart,” he said, “as I have
given you mine, and we’ll be even.”
“You have it.” She looked into his eyes. “I
once swore I would never again take the chance of being hurt by
love, but I do love you, Adam. My heart is yours.”
The kiss he gave her in response to this
declaration was long and deep, and when it was over, she clung to
him.
“Adam, if I am taken away from you,” she
began, then paused at the tightening of his arms. “No, listen to
me. Let me say it. If I am taken from you, I want you to find
someone else to love.”
“I could not,” he declared. “In all my life,
you are the only woman I have ever loved.”
“But don’t you see, it would give me pain to
think of you left here alone, grieving for me. More than anything
else, I want you to be happy, Adam.”
“I will promise this only if you swear to do
the same,” he said. “You are made for love. If we are separated, do
not live out your life alone.”
They were both in tears. Surely, never had
two lovers found themselves in such a situation, intoxicated with
newly discovered love, yet knowing that at any moment more than
eight centuries might separate them forever. She could not bear to
think of never seeing him again. How quickly he had become an
integral part of her heart – and how he had lightened that heart,
until old and recent griefs alike had begun to loosen their grip on
her, leaving her free to love Adam completely and joyfully – and
unselfishly.
“I swear that I will love you until I die,”
she said. “But if we are parted, I will do as you wish. But, Adam,
even if I learn to love another, I will never forget you and what
we share here and now.”
“So do I also swear.” He took both her hands
in his and, leaning forward, kissed her full on the mouth. “Thus do
I seal my pledge to you.
“And now, my dear lady let us go from this
room to greet the new day as if we had the hope of many happy years
together, for I hope and pray we have.”
She sensed that he could not tolerate much
more emotional talk about their possible parting or he would forget
his position as strong lord of the castle and battle-hardened
knight. She did not want to see his pride so broken, nor could she
endure the thought of separation from him. Together they would
pretend that she was at Shotley for an extended visit and thus
maintain their composure. She took the hand he held out to her and
answered him as lightly as she could.
“Indeed, my dearest lord, let us discover
what this day holds for us.”
They found the great hall nearly empty. A few
maidservants were there, shaking crumbs off the tablecloths into
the rushes on the floor and then replacing the cloths so the tables
could be set for the midday feast.
“We will keep holiday state until Twelfth
Night,” Adam told Aline, “with a great feast each midday that will
last until evening, and whatever entertainment we can make for
ourselves. Some years we have a minstrel to sing for us or tell
stories, but the foul weather has kept such wanderers away this
season. Still, we can rely on Blaise to sing for us.”
Blaise did not look as if he would care to
sing anytime soon. He stood before the nearer fireplace with a
flagon of beer in one hand and a sullen look on his face. For Adam
he had a brief greeting, for Aline a glare and an accusation.
“What right have you to interfere in my
marriage?” he demanded. “You have been filling my wife’s head with
nonsense.”
“You will speak more politely to our guest,”
Adam commanded. “I asked Aline to speak to Connie – er, Constance –
to try to discover why she is so unhappy, and if there is some way
to help her, and you, to be more contented.”
Blaise fell silent. Aline knew he loved and
respected his father, so she didn’t think he would take offense at
what Adam had just said. With Adam backing her, she dared to speak
what was on her own mind.
“It’s not just
your
marriage, Blaise.
It’s Connie’s marriage, too, and if either of you is unhappy, the
other partner will also be unhappy. Notice I said
partner
. I
know the law says your wife belongs to you, but Connie is something
more than chattel. She is a person, with hopes and dreams of her
own.”
“How dare you?” Blaise began. Aline gave him
no chance to go further with what, judging from the look on his
face, would become a blistering attack.
“Have you ever taken Connie to Normandy?” she
asked.
“Why should I?” demanded Blaise. “She would
only weep and complain, and I shudder to think what crossing the
Narrow sea would be like with her. She’d be seasick all the
way.”
“You won’t know that for sure until you give
her the chance to be sick, or not be sick,” Aline told him. “Did
you know that Connie longs to travel?”
“She does?” Blaise looked baffled. “No, I did
not know that.”
“Did you ever ask her about it? Or ask her
opinion on any other subject?”
“I did at first, but she only stammered and
got confused, so I stopped.”
“She wants to please you,” Aline said. “She’s
afraid to voice her own opinions for fear you won’t approve of
them.”
“She was not afraid last night.” Blaise
looked sullen again. “She told me exactly what she thought of what
I was doing.”
“Did she?” Aline smiled at him. “I’m glad to
hear it. You are making progress, then.”
“Aline is right,” Adam said. “In my opinion,
you have been too high-handed in your treatment of your wife. Be
kinder to her, speak more gently. She’s like a skittish foal who
needs a gentle hand to reassure her that you won’t hurt her.”
“As you were gentle with my mother?” said
Blaise in a sarcastic tone.
“Judith was a different kind of woman. We
understood each other well.” Adam took a deep breath, glanced at
Aline, and went on. “A man can learn from his mistakes, Blaise, and
the wisest man of all learns from the mistakes of others. Connie
loves you. Could you not learn to love her?”
With an angry exclamation Blaise tossed the
remains of his beer into the fireplace. Throwing the flagon to a
nearby servant, he stalked out of the hall without another
word.
“My efforts to help only seem to cause more
dissension,” Aline said to Adam.
“
Our
efforts, my dear. Blaise till
calm down and think on what we have said. You may have done more
good than you know.”
“
We
,” she reminded him.
“Aye, sweet lady.” He pulled her into his
arms, heedless of the knowing glances of the servants. “You and I,
together.”
At this point, Connie came into the hall from
the kitchen entrance. She was wearing her plain grey wool dress and
her linen coif. Her eyes were swollen and red, as if she had been
weeping.
“Talk to her,” Adam urged. “Try to encourage
her.”
“Adam, perhaps Blaise is right and we are
interfering too much.”
“I cannot live in a household where there is
such unhappiness. Aline, if you would not see me driven from my own
home to find peace elsewhere, then help me to help them.”
“All right. For your sake, I’ll try.” Aline
fell silent. Connie had seen her and came rushing across the hall
to her. Adam discreetly moved away to talk to the captain of the
guard, who had just appeared, all covered with snow.
“I told Blaise how I feel about his
too-impetuous lovemaking,” Connie whispered to Aline. “And he tried
to please me. I know he did, but he need was so urgent that I
became frightened and began to cry, which made him angry. Oh,
Aline, I have failed him again.”
She burst into tears on Aline’s shoulder.
Aline provided the only comfort she could think of at the
moment.
“It was just one night, Connie. Try again.
You will have to teach Blaise how to please you. From what I saw of
him on Christmas Eve and yesterday, I think he does want to make
you happy.”
Aline could hardly believe she was offering
marital advice as if she knew what she was talking about. Although,
after her night with Adam, she did feel much more competent on the
subject of lovemaking. Recalling the bold way in which he had taken
possession of her body and her own eager response to him, she felt
herself grow warm. She glanced across the room to where Adam was
listening to the captain of the guard. Over the shorter man’s head,
Adam’s eyes met hers. She could see the banked passion in his gaze
and knew his thoughts were similar to hers. He, too, recalled their
night together with pleasure and looked forward to the coming night
with burning anticipation. And this – this remembered joy and hope
for its renewal – was what he wanted for his son and
daughter-in-law. Aline tore her eyes from his face to take Connie
by the shoulders and hold her at arm’s length.
“Why are you wearing this dull mourning gown
when today is a holiday? Come with me, Connie. We are going to
dress you in something more suitable.”
When they returned to the hall an hour later,
Connie was once more gowned in bright green silk with the necklace
Blaise had given her adorning her slender throat.
“Now remember,” Aline told her, “don’t give
up. Keep trying. Sooner or later, you will get it right.”
She watched Connie walk up to Blaise and take
his arm and smile at him. She saw Blaise look down at his wife with
some surprise before he spoke to her. And then Aline turned her
full attention to Adam.
* * *
The days of feasting and reveling and nights
of passionate love flew by. As soon as the heavy snow ended,
beggars appeared at the castle gates, for word of a generous lord
traveled fast among the folk who lived along the roads. There were
some who came to ask for work as well as food, and those whom he
could use, Adam accepted into his household.
“I trust this problem has been alleviated in
your time?” he said to Aline one day when she had accompanied him
on his morning visit to the outer gate.
“I am ashamed to say that in the treatment of
such unfortunate souls I see little difference between your time
and mine,” she admitted. “If you were to walk down any city street
in my country, you would see homeless beggars with their bowls, and
many of them with their children.”
“Some of these are ill or maimed,” Adam said.
“Father John and our barber-surgeon will help as best they
can.”
“It’s the same in my time,” she responded.
“Churches, hospitals, various charitable organizations try to help,
but the supply of poor seems endless.”
“The scripture says we will always have the
poor with us. Perhaps they are sent to us to test the degree of our
charity. I try not to fail in my duty to them. We are especially
bidden to help at this holy season. Even at castles where beggars
are turned away at other times, they are given food and a night’s
lodging at Christmastide.”
She watched him squat down to wrap a shawl
around a little boy in tattered rags, watched him hand an apple to
the boy and send him off with a pat on the head to where his mother
was feeding her other children from a large bowl of hot vegetable
stew.
“You are a good man, Adam of Shotley,” she
said, taking his arm with pride.
“I do what I can,” he replied humbly, ”but it
is never enough.” His somber mood lightened when they returned to
the great hall, where he saw Blaise and Connie talking to each
other with unusual animation.
“I see some hope there,” he said to Aline.
“Connie grows warmer by the day.”
They feasted again all that afternoon and
into the evening. And when night had come, Adam took Aline to his
bedchamber, where he made love to her until it was almost
daylight.
She had kept her original guest room as a
place to which she could retreat for privacy when Adam was occupied
in his chamber with Blaise or the captain of the guard, or with any
of the other men of the castle who came to him to discuss its
administration. Adam was on good terms with the priest, Father
John, and he also had a cleric, Robert, who acted as his secretary.
In addition, Adam and Blaise spent a lot of time together each day,
Adam having given his son a fair amount of responsibility for the
castle defenses. Somehow, Adam managed to stay up-to-date with all
of his lordly duties and still have the afternoons free for the
feasts his people expected of him. The nights he kept for
Aline.
She made no secret of her feelings for him.
She was deeply and passionately in love with him and she would not
allow herself to think of being parted from him. Having arrived in
the twelfth century, and having made a reasonable adjustment to her
new life, she prayed daily to be allowed to remain where she
was.