Twice Dead (19 page)

Bodies litter his wake, bodies of people I’ve known since I
was a child. He turns, his gaze falling on me as he considers
whether I will live or die. He lifts the dagger—

Nathanial’s mind hurled me from the memory. I slid through the darkness of his past, looking for an open door, until I found myself in the memory of him teaching a class.

The memory was empty of emotion and completely uninteresting.

Safe
.

I wasn’t sure if it was my thought, or his.

I pulled back and sealed the wound on his neck. His memories still flashed through my mind. His anger moving under my skin. His hope. I blinked, seeing myself through his memory. Feeling his hopelessness when he could do nothing but watch me in Tatius’s arms. Confused emotions tangled at the edge of my mind.

Does he know what I saw?
Did I even understand everything I saw? Did I want to? I needed something else to think about. To focus on. My gaze landed on the other bite on his neck.
I can heal that.
I flicked my tongue over the torn flesh.

Nathanial jerked his head back. His eyes were still cloudy from my bite, but they cleared as he studied my face. “That is the equivalent to a kiss in Firth, is it not?”

“What? No, I was only—” My eyes flew open as his hands slid under the short dress to my mostly bare bottom. He lifted me higher, pressing against me, and flattening my back against the shower tile. “What are you—” but the words stalled as he leaned forward and ran the tip of his tongue along my collar bone. My breath hitched, caught in my throat, stuck around unspoken words.

Words I couldn’t remember. Couldn’t think about. I didn’t want to think right now, anyway. My legs rose, folded, hugged him. I locked them around his waist.

Nathanial nuzzled my cheek with his—not a human gesture, but one that set my skin ablaze. His tongue flicked against the edge of my chin, and my heart fluttered. A purr thrummed deep in my chest. My good hand went to his hair, my claws breaking the pony grip that held it. His hair fell around me like a black silk curtain, and he leaned down. The sigh that escaped his lips danced over my earlobe and sent shivers down my spine.

I’d waited so long to feel his hair between my fingers, but the lethal tips of my claws were in the way. I growled in frustration, and a spasm ran through my hand. My joints popped back into normal alignment as my claws retracted. I had only a moment to be amazed before Nathanial’s fangs nicked my throat.

I gasped, shivering in his arms. A dark sound tumbled from his throat, something between a growl and a moan, and he pressed harder against me, his hips grinding against mine.

My fingers trailed through his water-soaked hair, following the strands down to where they plastered to his chest, exposed below his torn shirt. I ripped the material further so I could feel more of the hard planes of his smooth flesh.

His mouth locked on mine.

I froze.

The tips of his fangs pressed against my lower lip, making me squirm, but the heat gathering in my body chilled. I tried to move away, but there was nowhere to go with my back against the wall. I pushed at his chest, my palm bearing into the wounds near his shoulder.

Nathanial pulled back, crystal eyes swimming with heat. I looked down, away from his gaze, and he groaned.

“Kitten,” he whispered, leaning forward to rest his face on the tile behind me. Our bodies were still pressed together, and I felt the shaky breaths he took, acutely aware that mine matched.

I had to get out of there. Away from him. Away from the tumbling of my heart. He made me feel crazy, like my skin wasn’t big enough to hold all the chaotic emotions whirling through me. I couldn’t stay.
If he hadn’t kissed me…?

Animals didn’t kiss, not by locking lips, at least. Neither did shifters.
And what am I?
I didn’t know anymore.

I shivered, my skin burning from all the touches before the kiss. Nathanial’s body went still against mine.

“Elizabeth’s master is the one called the Traveler,” he said without looking at me. “She is older than I am and has been a master at least as long.”

I frowned.
What does that have to do with anything?

Maybe it didn’t. Maybe he was just trying to distract himself. I could use the distraction.

I asked the first coherent question that came to mind.

“Why does she remain his companion if she is a master?”

He pulled back. “Why do you think?” He studied my face, watching for something. Something my face apparently didn’t give him. “I thought that perhaps, after some time, you would…” He squeezed his eyes closed and lowered me to my feet.

My legs shook but held.
His blood.
He’d been right. His blood had helped. A lot.

I took an experimental step, and Nathanial’s fingers flew down the few surviving buttons on his shirt. He slipped it off his shoulders. I tried not to stare, but I’d never seen Nathanial in anything less than a casual suit. He looked good in a suit.

He looked better out of it.

My fingers had felt the hard planes of his chest, but my brain hadn’t translated that tactile information yet, and my eyes drank in what my skin already knew. Sleek muscles accented his chest and arms, and I stared at his lack of hair, so different from the shifter males I’d become accustomed to seeing while growing up. Water ran down his skin. A blush crawled to my cheeks, and I turned away, stared at my toes.

“What are you doing?” I cringed at how breathy and unsure my voice sounded.

“Showering.”

“But…” No argument came to my mind. But I couldn’t stay. Not now. Not after nearly…?

Grinding my teeth, I slid open the door and retreated from the shower. Some part of me wanted to glance back as I heard Nathanial’s pants hit the ground, but I suppressed the urge. Leaving a wet trail behind me, I fled.

Chapter Fifteen

I ran into Gil in the hallway, her purple mage light floating over her shoulder. She gawked at me—not all that surprising considering I was still streaked with blood and the vinyl dress had taken more damage in the shower and now barely hung to my body.

“Clothes?” I asked.

She just shook her head, still staring.

Great.
Stoked with Nathanial’s blood, I was hyper-aware, but I couldn’t hear anyone in the house besides Gil.
At least I
don’t have to worry about running into anyone else.
Still, it took opening three doors before I finally stumbled on a bedroom.

Slamming the door behind me, I ransacked the dresser.

Slight though he might be, Nathanial’s clothes were too big for me. I shucked what remained of the dress and pulled a plain white undershirt over my head. It turned translucent as it clung to the water soaking my body.
Of all the mooncursed
luck!
I walked over to the closet and pulled out the first colored dress shirt I found. It was an odd shade of deep blue that probably looked amazing with Nathanial’s dark hair and gave color to his eyes.

I frowned at the shirt and shoved it back in the closet.

The next shirt I found was a simple brown, and I shrugged it on over the undershirt. I had to fight to get my useless arm through the sleeve, and I couldn’t work the buttons with only one hand, but it hung to my mid-thigh and kept me from looking completely indecent. As I fought with the sleeves, trying to roll them so they didn’t cover my hands, the door opened behind me.

“Later, Gil,” I said as mage-light filled the open doorway.

The door closed, blocking out the light.
Well, at least she
didn’t argue.
Giving up on the sleeves, I turned and almost jumped out of my skin.

Nathanial stood just inside the door, his long hair streaming over his shoulders and chest until it blended with the black towel wrapped around his waist. Whatever expression he read on my face made him raise an eyebrow, but as he strode across the room toward me, he kept his features carefully empty.

He stopped an arm’s length from me and reached forward.

Gulping, I stumbled back in a confusion of tangled feet. That earned me a frown, but he stepped into the space I’d vacated.

Normally he didn’t push things. Tonight obviously wasn’t a normal night.

He reached out again, and I held my breath as his fingers closed on the shirt. He buttoned two of the buttons in the center of the shirt, and then rolled the sleeves to my elbows.

I stared at anything in the room other then the wall of bare chest in front of me. Once the sleeves were even, he stepped around me without a word and walked to the wardrobe.

That’s it?
He fixed my clothes and went on about his business? I whirled around.

His back was facing me, but he’d pulled off the towel and wrapped it around his hair. The full length of his body was on display like a pale marble statue. And it was… my mouth went dry, and I shook myself, tearing my gaze away.
I really
must be going crazy.
I’d seen naked men all my life. Hell, lots of shifters rarely wore clothing, even in human form. Why should this be any different?

Because I’d never seen Nathanial naked before.

He glanced over his shoulder and studied my face. A small smile lifted the edge of his lips.
He thinks this is funny?
No, I realized. This was a show.
Damn vampire.

Fine. If he wanted an audience, I’d give him an audience. I wrenched open the door. “Hey, Gil. Come here a moment.”

I glanced back before she reached the door and found Nathanial staring at me, fully dressed. Or, at least, he
looked
fully dressed, but he’d gotten that way too fast for his clothes to be anything but an illusion.
Show’s over.
I flashed him some teeth and left.

* * * *

“I’ve already answered that question. Twice.”

Gil tapped her pen on the scroll and frowned at me. “I need to make sure I have all the facts straight. I’ve read that when vampires are low on blood they lose control, but I was under the impression they remembered what happened afterward. You’re sure you don’t remember anything?”

I glared at her in response. We’d already been through this. I understood that she had to write Biana’s paper, and I was thankful she’d brought in Biana to help, but enough was enough. I crossed my arm over my chest and glanced at Nathanial—who was, thankfully, fully dressed.

He sat in a chair at the other end of the coffee table. His elbows were propped on the arms, the tips of his fingers pressed together in front of him. He leaned forward as if intent on something, but his gaze was distant, unfocused.

And definitely not focused on Gil’s and my conversation. No help was coming from him.

Gil gave me a petulant look and tapped her scroll again.

With a sigh I said, “I don’t remember anything between passing out in the council session and waking to Biana sewing my arm.” She looked on the verge of interrupting so I held up my hand, silencing her before she asked the next inevitable question. I could guess it anyway. “I’ve told you everything I know about the
hebi
thing. And don’t even ask me what the poison felt like again.”

Gil’s mouth opened then snapped shut, her teeth clicking with the force. She vanished her scroll. “I swear, if you and this study weren’t going to make me famous…” She shook her head. “Fine. We’re done. I’ll write the report from the little bit of information you’ve given me. The very little bit.”

Her bottom lip extended in a pout. Then she vanished.

I leaned back against the couch, rubbing my eyes with my good palm. It felt late—or early, depending on how you looked at it.
How long was I…
‘unconscious’ was the first word that came to mind, but apparently that hadn’t been true for the entire block of time missing from my memories.

Pulling my knees onto the cushion, I settled into a more comfortable position and watched Nathanial. His expression hadn’t changed when Gil vanished, and I wasn’t sure he’d noticed she had left. His hair was still damp—and still loose, falling around his shoulders in heavy black strands.

Even as still and deep in thought as he appeared, there was something about him that looked more on edge, more… uncontrolled than I was used to. Heat crawled to my face, remembering what had happened earlier, and I dropped my gaze, forcing myself to look around, at the abstract paintings on the wall, at the bronze figure in the corner, at the bookshelves around the fireplace—anywhere but at the vampire in the room with me. Not that he noticed my distraction.

“So, where are we?” I asked.

Nathanial continued staring into space.

“Nathanial?”

His head lifted, but his eyes didn’t focus. Scooting off the couch, I stepped around the coffee table and waved my fingers in front of his face.

He blinked. I wasn’t convinced I had his attention yet, but that appeared about as good as I was getting.

“Where are we?” I asked again, waving a hand to indicate the room.

He looked around as if he didn’t remember, and the corners of his mouth dipped. “A home I own.”

“Yeah, I assumed that.”
Terribly helpful, isn’t he?
“Are we still in Haven?”

He nodded. “The very heart of the city. This house… no one knows I own this house. Not even Tatius.”

At the mention of Tatius’s name, the worry I’d been ignoring clawed its way to the front of my mind. I sank back onto the couch. “So, are we staying here?” In the heart of the city? Right under Tatius’s nose?

He nodded. “Tonight.”

But not tomorrow?
We were running. I sighed. Nathanial’s home had been mine since he’d turned me—only two weeks ago, though it seemed like forever—but now we’d be on the street again. I pushed aside the unexpected disappointment.

How was running now any different from the past five years?

Well, except the whole sunlight-restriction thing, and the addiction to blood. Oh, and let’s not forget the Judge’s mark, and… Okay, so things were more complicated now. But I’d made it on the run before. I’d do it again.