Twice In A Lifetime (5 page)

Izzy stood at the window and watched the water skim by. The brilliant sunrise split the horizon, oranges and pinks reflected on turquoise water. Beauty she couldn’t enjoy.

Wrapping the blanket tighter around her shoulders, she walked to the wash basin and splashed water on the dark bags beneath her eyes.

Ian hadn’t returned last night, making it pretty clear how he felt. He didn’t want her, didn’t love her, didn’t trust her. Hell, he thought she was a spy. A spy! Of all the crazy ideas he’d ever had, this one topped them all. And trying to distract her with sex…though in all fairness, she’d intended to do the same, so maybe they were even.

She dried her face and sighed into the towel.

God, how had this become such a big mess in such a short amount of time? Ian was so angry. No, more than angry. Hurt glittered in his eyes last night. Hurt and disappointment. Exactly the same look he’d worn when he’d left before— in the future.

She heaved a long breath. Future. Past. Apparently she and Ian couldn’t be happy together in either life.

At least in 2011 she had some money and a job. And basic civil rights. Now, she didn’t have shit. What did a man do with an unwanted wife in 1768? Make her walk the plank? Shark bait? Leave her on a deserted island?

I’ve watched Pirates Of The Caribbean too many times.

Okay. Still, she’d screwed-up her second chance. “Celeste? I need your help.” And fast. Ian said her only use was finding Alicia. After that…

“You’re awake.” Ian marched into the room. “Good.”

“No.” She wrapped the blanket tighter, ready for battle. “I never slept.”

He stopped, frowned,
then cupped her cheek, his thumb tracing beneath her eyes. Guilt and exhaustion pinched his features. Apparently he hadn’t slept either. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so harsh with you.” He hesitated then brushed a kiss to her forehead, her nose, her mouth.

Dear God, just like her Ian used to do.

“I— my patience is not what it should be since the disappearance of my sister.” His words caressed her cheek.

Hope surged through her like a caffeine rush. “You believe me then? About my not helping Daniel?” Maybe, just maybe, they could make this work.

He sighed. “I believe Daniel took advantage of your naïveté. I believe you didn’t know people would get hurt by your actions.”

Not exactly the enthusiastic answer she hoped for, but since she couldn’t really explain about Daniel, it would have to do. “So can we move forward from here?”

“We’ll reach Jamaica soon, yes.” He dropped his hand and drifted to the window.

Geez, was he being deliberately dumb?

“That’s not what I meant. Are you ready to work on our marriage?”

One dark brow dipped. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

Okay, maybe he didn’t. Their problems started when they stopped understanding each other. This time, she had to be clear, spell out exactly what she needed from him.

She leaned on the desk. “I want to be your wife, but I want you to trust me. Believe in me. We can be partners, work together.”

He shook his head. “Women want a home, some place they feel safe.”

“Says who? Besides, was Alicia safe at home?” He flinched, pain tightening his expression. “Sorry. Look, I know most women want that kind of life. But I don’t. I want adventure, and I feel safe when I’m with you.”

A haunted smile lifted the corner of his mouth. “Izzy, while I appreciate your faith in me, I’d rather you stay at home. After all, you can’t raise children aboard ship.”

Children? Whoa. They had never decided one way or another, and she didn’t like any decisions being made for her. That had been the problem before.

“So I’m supposed to stay home, barefoot and pregnant. Is that what you’re saying?”

Confusion knitted his brows. “I can afford my wife shoes— but, otherwise yes.”

“How about consideration? Can you afford me some of that?”

He frowned.

She took his hand. “Look, Ian, marriage is all about compromise. I wish it wasn’t— I wish real life was like a romance book— but it’s not. Life is picking up dirty socks and cleaning toilets and fighting…and, and compromise. That’s what we have to learn to do.”

“Izzy, just tell me what you want.”

“To be with you. To work with you. I want love and adventure.”

He hung his head and blew out a long sigh. “I suppose once this problem with Daniel is settled
, you could take an occasional trip with me.” He held up a finger. “A short trip, when I began running as a merchant vessel. Otherwise, I need you to stay home and keep watch over Alicia until I can find her a suitable husband—
if
I can find her a suitable husband.”

Disbelief sucker-punched her. He didn’t want her because he cared, he’d just found another way she could be useful. She dropped his hand and paced. “You want me to watch your sister?”

“Not want, need.”

“No.” This had to be the part where she fought for what she wanted. And she wanted Ian’s heart, his respect, the life they had planned together.

His jaw tightened. “Isabella, I am your husband. Wives are supposed to listen to their husbands. Besides, you just said we must compromise.”

“An occasional boat ride isn’t compromising.” She shook her head. “I’ll help you find Alicia, but I won’t babysit.” And she couldn’t stay here in the past. Not unless
Ian
started listening— really listening— to her. A bossy husband was bad enough, but a bossy husband, no tampons and no microwave? No way. She wasn’t doing without modern conveniences just to end up miserable and divorced again.

A muscle twitched in his jaw. “Fine. I do not have time to argue. We will discuss this later.”

“Promise?”

“Yes. After we find Alicia.” He strode to the desk and pulled out a map. “Show me where Daniel’s property is.”

She glanced at the map. How could she be sure the coves and beaches were still the same? “He said his home was on the north side.” A house somewhere in Ocho Rios to be exact, but she wasn’t going to say that. What if Ocho Rios didn’t exist in 1768?

Ian pulled the map closer and pointed to the area. “Where at?”

She shrugged. “That’s all I know.”

“Damn it, we can’t search the entire northern coast.”

“He mentioned something about a popular bay nearby.” There was a spa he liked there but that too had to remain unsaid.

“St. Ann’s Bay?
Discovery Bay?”

“Yes, St. Ann’s.
” Good Lord, that’s where Daniel kept his yacht.

“Good.” Ian replaced the map. “I’ll let my men know. We should be there by afternoon.”

“Can I go ashore with you?”

“Absolutely not.” He yanked open the tall cabinet and took out a pistol.

“Why?” She grabbed his arm as he reached for a sword. “You still think I’m on Daniel’s side?”

“No.” He shook free. “I think a pirate’s cove is no place for a lady. I plan to visit a few taverns and inquire if anyone has seen Roberts in town or if they know where he stays.”

“Then you’ll need my help. Someone to watch your back.” What if he got hurt?

“Which is precisely why I’m taking two of my best men.” He headed for the door. “Besides, what use could a woman be in a fight?”

She grabbed his sleeve. “Give me a chance and you’ll see.”

“No.” He sat her on the bed. “I won’t have time to guard you.”

She jumped to her feet. “I don’t need you to guard me.”

“I said no. I will tell you what we find out as soon as I get back.”

“But—”

“No!
” His jaw tightened, his expression unbending. “I don’t want to hear another word about you going ashore.” The door slammed shut.

Damn his stubborn hide. Fine. She wouldn’t say anything else. But whether he liked it or not, she
was
going. He needed help.

Scurrying to the cabinet, she fished out a pair of pants and yanked them up. They hung low on her hips but with the shirt un-tucked no one woul
d notice. She slipped on a vest then took one of Ian's hats from the peg.

He said taverns were no place for a lady. He hadn't said anything about a boy.

***

Izzy watched the men file down the gangway, Ian in the lead followed by the lieutenant and a short man. She pulled the hat low on her brow and crept along the rail. A few crewmen worke
d at the ship’s stern, some hanging like bare-chested piñatas as they checked the sails. Thank God none of them paid her any attention.

Scurrying down the plank, she let herself be swallowed by the crowds, then ducked behind a man with a cage of squawking chickens. Donkeys brayed, children laughed and women in bright colors hurried down the dusty streets, carrying everything from babies to fruit. Tropical chaos.

Smoke feathered into the cloudy afternoon sky, the strong smell of roasted meat making her wish she’d eaten more than a piece of bread for dinner, but the thought of Ian’s disapproval churned her stomach.

She left chicken-man and stepped behind a stack of rum barrels. Ian and his men were easy to follow— whores called and waved, flashing smiles and breasts as the crew walked down a street lined with brothels. A jealous burning clenched Izzy’s fist. It wouldn’t take much to knock out what few teeth those whores had, the red-haired one in particular, the one sidled up to Ian. The woman rubbed against him, whispering in his ear. He smiled, but shook his head and kept walking.

Bitch
. Izzy tugged her hat lower and stepped into the road. If she wasn’t afraid Ian would hear the commotion, she’d go ballistic on her. Instead she kept her head down and trailed after him, walking behind people or wagons.

Finally he stopped and spoke to his lieutenant, gesturing first to one street filled with taverns then another. The man nodded, then took the short sailor and left Ian on his own.

So much for having someone to watch his back.

She darted beside a building and waited. He looked over his shoulder, suspicion narrowing his gaze. Shit! She flattened her back against the rough wood. Had he seen her? Her thundering heart counted the seconds. He wouldn’t—

“Are ye lost, child?” An ebony hand gripped her shoulder.

Izzy whirled and blinked once, twice. It couldn’t be.
Could it?
“Celeste?” Oh, thank God. Celeste had come to help her.

The short Jamaican woman stepped from the shadows. “Nay. My name is Vea
`.”

“Oh…” Disappointment stole her words.

“Child?” Concern etched her wrinkled features.

“I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else.” Loneliness clenched her heart. “I thought you were my friend.” A sudden rush of emotion filled her eyes with tears. Damn it, she didn’t have time to get all sappy.

“Here now. No need for sorry.” Vea` clucked her tongue, the sound so like Celeste, more tears rolled down Izzy’s cheeks. “Don’t cry. I will be yer friend. Tell me what is wrong.”

“You’d never believe me.” She shook her head, drying the wetness with her sleeve.

“I believe things most people don’t. And I believe yer more than lost.”

Izzy nodded. More lost than this woman could ever imagine.

Vea` clasped Izzy’s hands, rubbing her rough thumbs over the palms. “Lost not just in body, but lost in heart and spirit. Lost what was most precious to ye.” She dropped her hands and rummaged through the sack slung across her back. “Here, child.” She pulled out a gris-gris bag and strung it around Izzy’s neck. “This will help ye find yer way. Decide what ye most want, then hold the bag in yer right hand and wish.”

“I can wish for anything?” Could she actually wish herself back to 2011?

“If yer heart is true, it will be granted. But ye must be careful how you ask. Magick can be a complicated master.”

Didn’t she know it? Even Celeste had missed the mark on this one.

“Okay, so if I—”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Ian’s growl filled the alley.

Izzy whirled. Oh, damn, damn, damn. She swallowed hard. “I’m talking to my new friend.” She half-turned, but Vea` had vanished.

Ian peered over her shoulder
then frowned. “I told you to stay aboard ship. Are you incapable of following orders?”

She lifted her chin. “Well, I
never agreed to stay. And I don’t do orders. Just part– ”

His eyes narrowed. “Do not say it’s part of your
charm. It is not.”

She bit back a smile. Now was probably not the best time to push him. “I was simply going to point out
you said a lady wouldn’t be safe here. So now I’m a boy.”

He scoffed, then turned her in a slow circle and shook his head. “Fair-skinned boys aren’t safe either. Pirates like to sell them. Or worse.”

“I can defend myself.” She drew herself up to full height.