Twice in a Lifetime (Love Found) (44 page)

Never a dull moment in primary.

But finally—finally—she stood at the front of her drama-free classroom, ready to make her big announcement.

“Mrs. Tate? Mrs. Tate! Who’s Mrs. Taylor?” Amy Johnson was such a good little reader. “Good job, Amy.”

“Is she a sub? We aren’t we gonna have a sub, are we?” Aaron Phillips had separation anxiety.

She shook her head. “No, Aaron, there’s no sub.”

“Then who is she?” One at a time, she may have had a chance at control. When they all started in, she didn’t have a shot. She looked around the room at her entire class and grinned. Better to roll with it.

“Mrs. Taylor is me. I got married right after Christmas.” Before she could get the final words out she was surrounded by students, all jabbering at once.

Yep. Not a shot.

“But you’re old, Mrs. Tate. I mean, Mrs. Taylor. Are you allowed to get married when you’re old?”

“I’m not
that
old, Billy.”

“Are you gonna have a baby, Mrs. Taylor? My sister got married ‘cause she was gonna have a baby.”

“No, Jennifer, I’m not having a baby.”

She studied the magpies chirping her name as they swarmed. One was missing. When her gaze landed at his seat, her shoulders sagged. She picked up the tissues from her desk and walked over. Squatting beside him, she laid a hand on the back of his chair. If only she could break policy and drag the boy into her arms. His silent tears broke her heart. “Jason, why are you so upset?” She held out the tissue box and he pulled out a couple.

He scrubbed his eyes and blew. “Are you gonna move away?”

“Oh, Jason. No. I have a house here and all you children. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Are you sure, Mrs. um, Taylor?” He sniffed. “Really, really sure? ‘Cause my mom got married and she moved away. Now I live with just my dad.”

Her heart melted. “Promise. I’m staying right here.”

He smiled a watery smile. “Okay, Mrs. Taylor.

Time to wrap up this carnival. She stood and addressed the entire classroom. “Listen up. I need you all to find your seats so we can get started on the day.” After the morning they had, she wouldn’t be surprised if they whined and dawdled.

“Now, please.” Nope. Not surprised at all.

But she was Mrs. Taylor.

She’d tried to avoid thinking of this day since they returned from their honeymoon. But now that it was the third week of January, it was time for Trey to head north again. Allie lifted her head from her pillow to check the clock. Three thirty. She would fall asleep at her desk if she didn’t fall asleep soon. Rolling to her side, she yanked the covers and forced her eyes to close.

“Allie, what’s up? Go to sleep, would you? You’ve been tossing around all night.” Jake’s words were laced with impatience, but it was the third time she woke him tonight.

“Yes, Jake. I know I have. I’m the one doing the tossing. Don’t you think I’d sleep if I could? I’m going to be a wreck tomorrow.” Each word was delivered like icy hail spit from the sky.
Darn it.
He didn’t deserve that.

Jake laced his fingers behind his head and stared at the ceiling.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” Tears gathered at the back of her throat. Her voice was thick with it when she spoke. “I’ll go lay on the sofa.”

Jake unthreaded his hands and rolled to face her. “You’re not going anywhere. Come closer.” He pulled her to him, against his warmth. “There, that’s better. Now, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Everything’s wrong.” Her words fell as freely as the fresh batch of tears. “Everything’s changing so fast and I’m tired and I’m bitchy. The race we worked so hard for is over and Trey’s leaving tomorrow. And I can’t have a baby.” The last came out on a loud, keening wail.

Shifting his weight, Jake gathered her closer still and tightened the arm covering her waist. “Well hell, Allie.
This
marathon is over, but you and Maddie can start planning for the next one.” He smoothed her hair back and kissed her forehead. “And Trey was always going back to school. You’re just used to having him home, but in a week you’ll be used to having him gone again.”

Yeah, that was sensible. She sniffled. “I guess it all kind of hit me.”

“I know, babe.” Jake ran his palm along the ball of her shoulder and down her arm. It was soothing. “Now tell me this thing about a baby. Is this something new?”

She hiccupped. “I don’t know where that came from.”

“Well, it seems that this is something we’re not done dealing with.”

It was much easier to talk in the dark, tucked against his belly. “I can’t get it out of my mind. Everywhere I go I see babies in strollers, babies in car seats, pregnant women.” Those damn tears were starting again.

“Okay, hush, hush now.” His hands circled her back in slow, deliberate movements. She pushed herself to a sit.

“It’s not fair, Jake. I’m only forty-one and I feel betrayed by my body.” The edge of the sheet worked well to dry her eyes. Her voice lowered to a tortured whisper. “I love you. I want to have a baby with you.”

She let him drag her into his arms, then lay there sniffling. “Allie, baby, I’ve got you. But life is not always fair. As much as I want a little girl with pretty curls running around our house—”

He leaned and rubbed his cheek against her hair. “As much as the idea appeals to me, I didn’t marry you thinking it may happen.”

She turned her head to face him. “But wouldn’t it—”

Angling over her, he tipped her chin and cut her off with his mouth. Then murmured into her ear. “Yes, it would. But I love you even if it doesn’t happen.”

The anxiety she hadn’t been able to control faded like thunder moving on after a storm. “Why are you so good to me?” She wiggled until she lay flat again, pulling him with her. His warm breath caused familiar needs to stir low in her belly. “Are you ready to sleep now?” She turned into him, nibbling his chin until he lowered his head.

She cooled when he lifted away, then warmed again when he covered her.

“Not quite yet.”

Trey was making the last noises he’d make at her house for months. A
thud
when his final duffle bag hit the bed of his truck, a
slam
when he shoved the tailgate back in place, and a
slap
when his palms struck his thighs as he returned to say goodbye.

“All loaded. Just need my backpack from inside.”

How long until the quiet was normal again?

He opened the door and beckoned her to enter. “Come inside, Mom. It’s too cold to be out here in your pajamas.”

She followed him in. “Did you say goodbye to Jake?”

“Not yet, he was already gone when I got up.” His voice faded as he disappeared down the hallway.

“Maybe you could give him a call,” she called after him. She was stalling. He probably knew she was stalling.

He returned with his backpack slung over his shoulder. “I need to stop by the office to pick up my last paycheck. I’ll see him then.”

She nodded. “So, you’re ready?”

“All ready.”

She tried to smile. “Well… drive safe. Don’t speed. Call me when you get there.”

“You’ll be in school. I’ll call you tonight.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to you tonight then.”

“Oh, Mama. Stop crying.”

She swiped at her cheek. “I miss you when you’re gone.”

“I’ll be back soon.”

“I know you will.” He let her wrap her arms around him, but she’d embarrass him if she started sobbing. “Go now. And don’t forget to call.”

From the front porch she allowed herself to follow his taillights until they were no longer visible. Would she ever get used to this? She walked back into the house, veering toward her bedroom. Maybe a long run in the cold morning air would make her feel better. As she passed the sofa she plopped into the corner. First she would have a little cry.

Allie leaned into the last turn of her first lap. Maddie kept pace beside her. “Hard to imagine this school year will be over in only three months. Next thing we know, the new year will be starting.”

“Speaking of time, you’ve been married two months already.”

She grinned. Couldn’t help it. “After my meltdown last month the poor guy probably regrets ever meeting me.” She could laugh about it now. “But he was great, even after I was mean to him.”

“You’ve had a lot of changes in your life lately. It would make any woman moody.”

Trey leaving home. Her drama with Jake. Their sudden marriage. “I think I’m starting menopause.”

Maddie’s head whipped her way. “Are you kidding?”

“I have all the classic symptoms. I’m moody and achy, I’ve put on a few pounds, I’m tired all the time but I can’t sleep. And then there’s the big one. No period for months now.” She rounded the next bend, starting mile four.

“I wondered where you got those.”

Her brand new thirty four D’s had caused Jake to snarl at more than one teenage boy during their week at the beach. “A little gift from Mother Nature.”

Crossing the white finish line for the last time they turned and ambled toward their cars.

“Has the doctor given you anything yet? You know, for the symptoms?”

There was that niggle of guilt again. She really should take better care of her body. “Not yet, but her office called last week to schedule my annual. I have an appointment today after school.”

No way! Not today!
Allie tried the ignition one more time. Nothing but that annoying metallic gnashing. “Damn!” She thumped the steering wheel in frustration. Now she’d be late for the doctor. She pushed open the door and climbed out. It would be nice if she had time to enjoy the warm sun beating on her or the new buds sprouting on the trees. Instead she pulled out her cell phone and punched the speed dial.

“Hey, babe. How was school today?” He sounded distracted. And someone was talking in the background.

“It’s Friday. Whole school assembly”. In other words, controlled chaos. “And that was the good part of my day.”

“Uh oh. What happened?”

“My car died again. There’s nothing but a loud grinding.”

Of course he asked the logical question. “Did you call Triple A?”

“I have a doctor’s appointment in thirty minutes and Maddie already left.” She crossed her fingers. “Can you get away?”

She probably wasn’t meant to hear that growl. “Give me a few minutes to tie up loose ends.”

Jake repeatedly suggested she retire her clunker and drive his much newer sports car. Maybe it was time to take up his offer. She circled the aging sedan, kicking its balding tires. Oh, the vehicle served her well for several years, no need to abuse it. She rubbed its sun-faded hood like she was comforting a child to sleep.