Twilight Illusions (21 page)

“No. I think we'll be safe enough here today, in my usual place. I just wish I knew what happened to Bachman.”

“You won't have to worry about him—for a while, at least,” Eric said. “He staggered into the street and collapsed. A carload of teens found him and they sent someone for an ambulance. Even if Bachman comes to and starts talking, no one will pay much attention. A man with a head injury, raving about vampires, isn't exactly believable. It ought to be at least a day before he can contact DPI for reinforcements. You ought to be prepared to leave here then, though, Damien. They don't take these kinds of things well at all.” He paced away. “What of Netty?”

“I bought her a ticket on a cruise ship that leaves at first light, paid her off enough to make her think twice about betraying me again.”

“Good. Your troubles are dissipating, my friend,” Eric said cheerfully. “You've whittled them down to two—Shannon's mind-set and this rogue in the city.”

“And we'll deal with all that tonight.” Tamara tugged on Eric's arm. “If we'd brought Rhiannon along, she'd have had that rogue for breakfast.”

“Which is exactly why I asked you not to mention this either to her or Roland. Tamara, love, we have no idea of this renegade's age or strength. Rhiannon would charge in, fearless as always, and perhaps get herself killed.”

Damien's mouth quirked up at one corner. “This woman sounds like someone I'd like to meet.”

“Only in a good mood, believe me,” Eric intoned. Tamara elbowed him and dragged him to the door. “Good rest, Damien.”

“Good rest,” he replied without thinking. He watched them go, then turned to tackle the problem of Shannon.

 

He came back, as she'd known he would. He just couldn't seem to understand that she needed time to herself. She rolled onto her back and faced him. Then she wished she hadn't. There was pain in his eyes when he looked at her.

She sniffed and sat up. “I felt strong before, but it's waning. Is it only temporary?”

“It's almost daylight.” He spoke softly. “Day weakens us. We rest until dark, and wake feeling strong as ever.” He approached slowly, as if waiting for her to object. When she didn't, he sat on the edge of the bed. “You must have a thousand questions.”

She nodded.

“But it's almost dawn.” He licked his lips, obviously nervous. “Shannon, you made it clear you don't want to spend eternity with me. Don't want to depend on me at all. There are others who can answer your questions. You don't have to bring them to me.”

She swallowed hard, lowering her head. She'd hurt him by saying those things. “I didn't mean—”

He held up a hand. “I want you to stay with me through today. There's no time to find you another safe place to rest. I'm not trying to force myself on you, I promise. I just want you safe. There's another vampire in the city. The one who killed Tawny and the other woman. Eric and I will find him and stop him. After that you're free to go where you want. Run to the other side of the world—”

She shook her head hard. “I didn't mean—”

“Bachman isn't dead,” he told her. “But he'll be out of action for a while. Still, there are others, that organization he works for—they'd like to eradicate us. And this other vampire, an evil bastard who hates me for reasons I still don't understand. It isn't safe for you to go out alone until I find him, but I swear, it won't be long. Eric and I will leave with the sunset to hunt him down. Then you can leave with my blessing.”

She closed her eyes, knowing she'd hurt him deeply, maybe beyond repair. He held out a hand to her. She took it and rose from the bed. Without a word, he led her through the hall, up another flight of stairs and through a door on the third floor. He walked right into a closet, and she was surprised when the wall that was the closet's back slid open. He drew her inside, slid the door closed again, hit a button, and the lights came up. Music began, Sting, her favorite. An exotic incense filled the air. He touched her hair, then abruptly drew his hand away.

“You can have the bed,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I'll take a blanket and lie on the floor.”

“You'll be uncomfortable…”

“Not really.” He smiled very slightly. “I sleep like the dead.”

God, what was wrong with her? Wasn't this the same man she'd fallen in love with? Couldn't she find a way to forgive him for forcing her into an existence she wasn't sure she could bear?

She tried. She tried to judge her feelings for Damien. She'd been so sure before, just before all of this. When he'd made love to her, she'd known she was deeply in love with him. There'd been no doubt. And only the knowledge that she was dying had kept her from telling him so. She hadn't wanted to hurt him. But what about now? Could she love him now? Knowing what he was…what he'd made her?

She'd realized that she didn't want to die. But did she want to live? Like this?

“Give it a chance, Shannon,” he whispered. “Don't walk out into the sunrise just yet.”

“I wasn't thinking of that.”

“Make sure you don't.” She sat on the edge of the bed and he came to her, knelt in front of her, took her hands. “Hate me for bringing you over, if you have to. But don't hate yourself or what you are. You haven't changed, not really. You're the same beautiful, vibrant, wonderful woman you were before. You're still strong and capable, and as independent as you want to be.”

“I have changed.” She averted her eyes. “I thought I'd killed Bachman. I'm glad I didn't, but I could have, Damien. I don't think I can stand the thought of taking a life.”

“You wouldn't have hurt him if you hadn't been forced. You don't know the extent of your strength yet, Shannon. And that wouldn't have happened if I'd been here faster. It was more my fault than yours.” She didn't look at him, and he hurried on. “You hit the men who tried to steal your car. One of them could have hit his head and died. But you didn't find yourself questioning the value of your mortal life when it was over, did you?”

She blinked and met his gaze. “No.”

“It was an unavoidable accident, Shannon. Self-defense. And Bachman is going to recover. You didn't kill anyone. Try to put it behind you.”

“But don't you
have
to kill people…to live?” He closed his eyes as if that remark hurt him. She licked her lips. “You don't, do you?” Slowly, she shook her head. “No, you couldn't. You couldn't even bring yourself to kill that mouse….”

“I cherish life, all life. I despise death, Shannon. It took away the dearest, most beloved friend I ever had, until you. It tried to claim you, as well.”

As she listened to him, her mind grew heavy and foggy as it had been when she'd first awakened. She glanced down at the stone she still clutched, and blinked.

Damien was easing her back onto the pillows. She stared up at his face in wonder, and recalled the story he'd told her, the ending to the
Epic of Gilgamesh.
The one that had never been recorded, that he called his own personal theory.

“He found the secret,” she whispered. “But it didn't make him a god, and it didn't give him the power to bring Enkidu back. It only condemned him to an endless existence, to watching death win over and over again.”

The greatest king ever to rule, driven to the edge of insanity by the grief of losing his closest friend. She lifted a hand and pressed her palm to his cheek. “It was you.”

His eyes fell closed. He lay down beside her, wrapping his arms around her. “You felt the power of the bond between Enkidu and me from the first time you read of it. You cried for it. I remember. You know how I felt about him, don't you?”

“Enkidu?”

He squeezed his eyes, but a tear slipped through anyway. “The brother of my soul,” he muttered in Sumerian. Amazingly, she knew what he said. She heard the words pass from his mind to hers and the meaning was clear. “As much as I loved him, Shannon, I love you even more. How could I watch you die? How
could I,
when I had the power to save you? It was wrong. I know that. I knew it then. But Shannon, I had to do it. I'd do it again.”

His arms tightened around her, almost reflexively, she sensed, as if he were reliving that moment when he'd chosen to cling to her—to do whatever he had to—to keep her with him. Her eyes should have been wide with wonder at this new knowledge of him, this new understanding. But instead they were heavy, lids dropping, sleep claiming her. She snuggled close to him, twisting her arms around his waist, not wanting him to keep his promise and sleep on the floor. She pressed her face into the crook of his neck, and she smelled his scent and tasted the salt of his flesh on her lips as she whispered, “Gilgamesh…”

And then she fell asleep, thinking of the lines she'd read in the epic, lines that returned to haunt her. Lines about grief:

He was gone when she awoke. She sat up slowly, blinking, realizing vaguely that the lights were still dim. They brightened gradually. The music began as if by itself, and only grew louder as she came fully alert.

“Quite a setup he has here, isn't it?”

She started, eyes flying wider. A woman stood in the room near the doorway. She was small, a pixie, with a tiny waist and cascades of raven curls that reached it. She smiled and took a step forward.

“I'm Tamara.”

She'd heard the name, she was sure. She frowned. Tamara. Then she
was
real. “Eric's wife?”

“Well, not ‘wife' exactly. We didn't do a church wedding or anything. ‘Till death us do part' would be kind of meaningless for us. But our vows are just as binding. No, more binding.” She strode to the stereo system in the back of the room, started pawing through the CDs.

She wore snug-fitting jeans and a green silk button-down blouse. A pair of shiny black flats on her feet. Even makeup. Shannon stared, gaping, until the woman turned and smiled at her. “I know—I don't look like a vampire, do I? Rhiannon does. She's all tall and elegant and has this haughty attitude. But I think she was like that, even mortal. She's a princess, you know. And I'm just…just me.”

“I didn't mean to stare.”

Tamara came forward, sat on the edge of the bed. “I've only been in darkness for a few years, Shannon. I know what you're going through.” She lowered her dark, velvety lashes. “Well, sort of. In my case, I had to practically beg Eric to bring me over. I can't say for sure how I'd have dealt with it if he'd just done it, without asking how I felt first.”

Shannon licked her lips. “I still didn't believe you existed. The next thing I know, I wake up and I'm one of you.”

Tamara nodded, meeting Shannon's eyes with real concern in her own. “It's a tough adjustment under any circumstances. But I'll help you, if you want.” She smiled a little, and her hand rose to touch Shannon's hair. “You're beautiful, you know. I've never heard of a fair-complected vampire before. You must be as rare as a flawless diamond.”

Shannon felt herself blush at the compliment.

“It's probably because of the lineage. I think the darkness is inherited, along with the Belladonna antigen.”

Shannon took that in, nodding. Then she glanced toward the door and gnawed on her lower lip.

“He and Eric went out to see if they could find this rogue vampire that's been raising hell around here.”

She nodded again. She wished Damien hadn't left before she'd awoken. She'd hurt him. He thought she wanted to be away from him. That wasn't at all what she wanted. She wasn't sure exactly what she wanted anymore, only that she understood now. She understood his pain, his loss. She'd been half in love with Gilgamesh since she'd read his epic. And now she knew why. And she knew why he'd made the decision he had when she'd been dying in his arms. Being who he was, he couldn't have done anything else.

“You'll have time to tell him all that. He'll be back before dawn.”

She blinked in surprise.

“We can hear each other's thoughts, Shannon.”

“That's incredible.”

Tamara smiled.
I'll teach you how to do it. You can surprise Damien when he gets back. For now, why don't you get up and shower and dress? There's so much I want to tell you about, show you….

All of it, Shannon heard clearly. All of it spoken without Tamara's having uttered a sound. Her head spinning, Shannon got up and complied.

 

Tamara seemed so normal.

She'd been thrilled to ride in Shannon's car, more thrilled yet when Shannon let her drive it awhile. They took turns choosing CDs and they played them at ear-piercing volume, singing along until Shannon actually began to feel like herself again. Maybe Damien was right. Maybe she hadn't changed all that much.