Twin Tales (2 page)

‘Hey, Connie!' said Dad, giving her another nudge. ‘You know how we've always longed for more children.'

‘Have we?' said Connie.

‘That's why I had all that special treatment at the doctor's,' said Mum. ‘So I could give you a baby brother or a baby sister, Connie. And now I can give you both all in one go.'

‘It's going to get a bit crowded round here then,' said Connie. ‘Where are they going to sleep, these twin babies?'

Mum and Dad looked at each other. Connie started to get suspicious.

‘They're not going to come in with me, are they?' she said. ‘There won't be room for three of us.'

‘That's right,' said Dad. ‘So Mum and I have had this really good idea.'

‘What?' said Connie. She wasn't so sure about Mum and Dad and their ideas now.

‘We thought we could make you a special new big girl's bedroom,' said Mum. ‘Then the twins could have your old room.'

‘A new big girl's bedroom?' said Connie slowly. She thought about the extension at the back of her friend Karen's house. ‘Ooh, are we going to build an extension?' she said hopefully, imagining a huge glass room jutting right out into the garden.

‘Come off it, Connie, you know we couldn't afford it,' said Dad, and he sounded a bit grumpy. ‘First it's Disneyland, then it's extensions. We're not made of money, you know. And when we're a family of five we'll have to be really careful with our money.'

Connie wasn't at all sure she wanted them to be a family of five. They'd managed beautifully in the past being a family of three.

‘We thought the junk room would make you a lovely new big girl's bedroom,' said Mum.

‘The junk room!' shrieked Connie. (She didn't actually say it. She shrieked it.)

There were three rooms upstairs, not counting the bathroom. There was Mum and Dad's bedroom. There was Connie's bedroom. And there was the little junk room at the front of the house. It was called the junk room because it was jammed up with junk; suitcases and an old broken sofa; cardboard boxes of books and an old bike; and heaps of toys that Connie didn't want to play with any more. Connie was starting to feel like one of the tired old teddies or droopy dolls. Mum and Dad seemed to have got fed up playing with her. They wanted a shiny new set of twins now. It was time to shove Connie in the junk room.

2. Name Games

Connie thought she might have to balance her bed on top of all the junk in the junk room and sleep crammed against the ceiling. But Mum and Dad sifted through all the junk and threw a lot of it out. When the room was bare they painted it deep blue and stuck shiny stars up on the ceiling. Mum made Connie a new pink and blue patchwork quilt to go on her bed and Dad made shelves all the way up one wall for Connie's books and games and videos. By the time they were finished it certainly wasn't a junk room. It was a beautiful big girl's bedroom.

Connie couldn't help but be pleased, but she still didn't like seeing her old bedroom turned into a nursery for the twins. They didn't just have new paint and a new quilt and new shelves. They had new everything. Twin cots. Twin prams. Twin baby chairs. The twins weren't even here yet and already they seemed to be crowding Connie out.

Mum was getting big and tired and needed lots of rest. She couldn't dance to pop videos with Connie any more and sometimes when she was reading a bedtime story she nodded right off to sleep as she was speaking.

Dad was getting worried about money and kept doing sums on bits of paper and sighing. He didn't often feel like having a tickling match with Connie nowadays and didn't go swimming with her on Saturday mornings because he was working overtime.

‘It's not any fun round here any more,' Connie said darkly. ‘It's all because of those boring babies. Who wants to have twitty old twins anyway?'

‘We do,' said Mum, firmly. ‘Come and give me a cuddle, Connie.'

Mum was very big indeed now but Connie managed to squash into a corner of the sofa beside her.

‘You'll like your baby brother and sister when they're here,' said Mum.

‘Will I?' said Connie.

‘And you're going to be a super big sister and help Mum look after the babies, aren't you, Connie?' said Dad.

‘Am I?' said Connie.

‘What are we going to call these twins, eh?' said Mum. ‘Have you got any good ideas, Connie?'

Connie had called the babies all sorts of names to herself. They were generally rather rude names. It wasn't a good idea to announce these to Mum and Dad, so she simply shrugged.

‘Come on, Connie, you choose,' said Dad. ‘Think of two names that go together.'

‘Mickey and Minnie,' said Connie.

Mum and Dad didn't think a lot of this suggestion.

‘Chip and Dale? Laurel and Hardy? Marks and Spencer?' said Connie. ‘Stop being silly, sausage,' said Mum, tweaking Connie's nose. ‘How about two names that go with your name?'

Connie thought hard. ‘Bonnie and Ronnie?' She thought this a brilliant idea. She wasn't being silly at all. But Mum and Dad were not keen. They decided on Claire and Charles. Connie thought these very boring names. But then she thought these were very boring babies.

Weeks and weeks went by and Connie was fed up waiting for the babies to arrive. But then one night Granny came to stay and Dad took Mum to the hospital. Dad didn't get back until breakfast and then he gave Connie a big hug, Granny a big hug and, when the postman knocked at the door, he very nearly gave him a big hug, too.

‘It's twins!' he said, as if it was a big surprise. ‘A lovely little boy and a lovely little girl. Charles and Claire – a perfect pair!'

‘I'm Connie alone. One on my own,' Connie muttered.

‘What's that, Connie?' said Dad. ‘You want to see your little brother and sister, eh? Granny will meet you after school and take you to the hospital.'

It was good fun at school showing off about the twins. Connie told Karen and all her friends; then she told the teacher and was allowed to write on the blackboard: CONNIE HAS A NEW BABY SISTER AND BROTHER. She did a picture of them too, with pink chalk and yellow for their curls. She wasn't sure what they looked like yet but all babies looked more or less the same, didn't they?

She got a shock when Granny took her to the hospital. There was Mum lying back in her bed, little again and looking very happy. There were two cots at the end of Mum's bed and there was a baby in each cot.

‘Oh, aren't they sweet!' Granny cooed. ‘Oh, what perfect little pets. The pretty little darlings!'

Connie didn't think the twins looked sweet or perfect or pretty. They were certainly little. Much smaller than she'd expected. Tiny weeny wizened little creatures. They didn't look a bit like Karen's baby sister Susie. They didn't even have any hair. Not one curl between them. They were as bald as Connie's grandpa – and much uglier.

‘Aren't you lucky to have such a lovely baby brother and sister, Connie?' said Granny.

Connie didn't feel lucky at all.

3. Wailing Whimpers

It got worse when Mum and the twins came home from the hospital. Granny and Grandpa and all sorts of aunties and assorted friends and neighbours came crowding into the house, too. They pushed past Connie, barely giving her a nod. They rushed over to the twins and then they started gurgling and giggling and goo-goo-gooing. (Not the twins. Granny and Grandpa and all the aunties and assorted friends and neighbours gurgled and giggled and goo-goo-gooed.)

The twins didn't respond. Sometimes they slept through all this attention. Most of the time they whimpered and wailed. For such tiny little creatures they could make an immensely loud noise.

‘Hark at them exercising those little lungs,' said Granny, knitting busily.

She was knitting a tiny pink teddy bear jumper for Claire and a tiny blue teddy bear jumper for Charles. She didn't seem to have time to make a new teddy bear jumper for Connie even though Connie had explained that her old teddy bear jumper had never been the same since the mishap with Karen's sister, Susie.