Authors: Christa Simpson
"So what do you think he's gonna say?" Maddie
asked.
"That's what I'm afraid of most. From what he's said
lately, I think he's pretty happy as is. I don't think he'd change a
thing."
"Aren't you happy?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm happy as a couple,"
I admitted. “But there's more to life than that."
"I hear you. I didn't exactly plan to get prego, but
I'm not too disappointed that I am; and with a totally hot fire fighter at
that. It couldn't have worked out better for me really. You should try and
get pregnant now and our kids can have play dates together." Maddie was
getting super excited, wiggling around like a newborn.
"Don't get too ahead of yourself Maddie. I have to get
past Edwin first. The last thing I need right now is to become disillusioned
about having a baby. I'm not so sure Edwin will be quite as understanding as
Hunter's being."
"I'm sure he'll go along with anything you say,"
Maddie said, sweeping her hand carelessly through the air.
I shrugged my shoulders again, this time heavy with doubt.
"I used to think so, but now I'm not so sure. We've only been together
for a month you know. This kind of thing isn't exactly the sort of thing you
bring up in a budding relationship."
"Yeah, but you guys go way back."
"I know. I'm just totally freaking out about asking
him. I guess there's no point in wasting each other's time if it's never going
to work though. So when do you think I should do it?"
"You should take your own advice. The sooner the
better," Maddie suggested. "It worked for me."
"I still have to tell him about you and Hunter. I guess
I can use that to lead into it."
"You can do it. I'm sure it will work out exactly as
you want it to," Maddie said, brimming with hope.
"I hope so. Tomorrow he's supposed to be taking me to
the Corset Caves. Maybe I'll tell him there."
"Uh, maybe you should wait until after your feet are planted
firmly above ground," she teased. “Just in case.”
We giggled together, but in the back of my mind I knew that it
was an honest concern of hers. I was suffering from some serious doubts
myself.
The doorbell began to ring, again and again, tearing me from
my insecurities.
"Who could that be?" I asked myself out loud. I hurried
to the door and peeked out the window. Aliah was standing impatiently outside
it. “Shit!” I swung the door open wide.
"Hey. I was just coming by to check on you. I see you
have company though." She was not impressed.
It was just a matter of hours ago that I was scampering around
my house, like a lunatic, dripping blood everywhere. Now I had a house full,
wishing I could be alone. "Come on in," I said reluctantly, being
careful to lock it immediately behind her.
"What's she doing here?" Aliah asked, while glowering
at Maddie.
I was happy that she didn't ask about the huge bandage
wrapped around my wrist, since it was already going to be enough of an event to
explain to Edwin when he got home.
"Just visiting," Maddie replied sweetly.
"Aren't you supposed to be sick?" Aliah said,
scowling at Maddie. “Stay back. I don’t want what you got.”
"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Maddie replied
arrogantly.
"What is she talking about?" Aliah snapped, looking
to me.
"Why don't you tell her yourself Maddie? Maybe you
should take a seat first," I suggested to Aliah.
"I don't need a seat. Tell me what?"
"You asked for it. Hunter and I are pregnant."
Aliah laughed instantly and looked to me for a hint that it
was a joke. She found a blank stare on my face, without so much of a smile. "You're
full of shit. I just talked to Hunter on the phone like ten minutes ago. He didn't
say anything about a baby."
"Call him back and ask him, if you don't believe
me," Maddie taunted.
"Believe it Aliah. I was with her at the doctor’s. She
is definitely pregnant," I said.
"She may be pregnant, but it doesn't mean it's Hunter’s.
She's a whore. It could be anyone's baby."
"No. Actually, it can only be his. It is his,"
Maddie stated with 100% certainty.
"Well. Isn’t. This. Just. Great! I see you two are
all buddy-buddy now too. And this whore’s gonna be my man's baby momma? Fuck this!
I'm so out of here."
"Aliah wait!" I called after her, as she yanked
open the door and slammed it in my face.
I couldn't bear to follow her out into the darkness. "Seriously
Maddie? Do you know all the trouble you cause me?"
"That's why you love me."
"No, that's why it's always been a love-hate
relationship between us."
She giggled. "Aliah will have to get over it. I am
having Hunter's baby, and if she doesn't like it then she can back off and let
me have him."
"Go easy on her. This has got to be a total shocker for
her; even more, that Hunter didn't tell her."
"Well it's not exactly the kind of thing you tell your
girlfriend over the phone. Uh, hi. I'm having a baby with another girl. Love
ya. Bye," Maddie mocked.
"Good point."
"Well I should probably get going too. I told my
parents I would stop by when I was done here. I'm just trying to muster up the
courage to tell them. That should be fun," she said sarcastically.
"Good luck with that."
"You're welcome to join me if you like." She
pleaded with her eyes.
"Not a shot in hell," I replied.
"Well if you don't hear from me on Monday, it's because
my mother killed me."
"Okay," I responded, laughing.
We exchanged a hug, her warmth wrapping my subconscious with
motherly security blanket, before she left. I closed the door behind her and
turned over the dead bolt. The house was quiet again, but it felt secure. I
felt safe. In fact, I was actually feeling relieved to be alone again.
All fear of the attack of the glowing monster had disappeared
after all that flowing chatter. Now my mind was only bombarded with thoughts
about my station in life. All the worrying in the world couldn't prepare me
for what may or may not happen between me and Edwin. There was about a one
percent chance that he would say he didn't want children. This would mean that
I have no reason to worry. Then why am I so damn anxious?
I watched some mind-numbing TV and that did the trick. My
house was still chilly, but I now know that it's only because of the effective
air conditioning unit we had just installed last year. I curled up on the
couch, huddled under a blanket and stared at the clock that read 10:00 pm. I
half expected Edwin to be late, but I didn't anticipate my solemn
disappointment when he wasn’t home by now. He couldn't be much longer, since
he had planned a day trip for us tomorrow, but I couldn't seem to keep my eyes
open to wait up. Closed they go, and off to dreamland I went.
When my eyes fluttered open, I winced from the brightness and
covered my eyes with my arm. Squinting at the early morning sun, I saw my
bandage was soaked with dried blood. And where was I? Lying in my bed?
Unsure how I got there, I rolled over and there, right next to me, was Edwin.
"Babe, you up?" I asked, sleepily unaware that
Edwin's eyes were closed.
He shifted next to me. "Well I am now," he groaned.
"What time did you get home?"
"Uh, it was maybe ten. But you were already fast
asleep. Thanks for waiting up for me,” he teased. “You must have been tired.
I carried you to bed and you didn't even wake up."
Yes, he would make such a great father.
"I wondered how I got here."
"I may have taken advantage of you last night," he
teased again, attractively raising his thick eyebrows.
"Did you now? Well I guess I'll have to get you back
for that." I rolled all the way over, and drew my knee up his leg
provocatively.
"Seriously? Cuz that would be awesome. You can use me
any time. Really. Please do. I insist."
From the feeling of his early morning stiffy, I decided I
would take him up on that offer. Right away. I wiggled out of my lacy panties
and dangled them out of the blankets before dropping them to the floor. Edwin’s
hand skimmed firmly over my body, his grin stretching from ear to ear. It felt
so good to have his hands on me again.
Driven by impulse, I ripped off my shirt and yanked down his underwear,
freeing him from his only clothes. Edwin slipped his hand between us, where he
found me wet, willing and ready. He groaned with desire, as he lifted me up
and dropped me on top of him, his hands driving the heavy urge to unify us
again and again.
I screamed out in pleasure as he continued to fill my
request, forcing himself deeper until his body jerked deliciously beneath me. After
the most satisfying ride of my life, I crashed next to Edwin on the bed to
catch my breath.
"You must be feeling better," he chuckled.
"Huh?"
"You said you weren't feeling very well yesterday. You
must have just needed to rest."
"I guess," I said, unable to think up something
closer to the truth. It was true: I must have needed the rest, because I sure
slept soundly last night. No doubt, the stress had finally taken me out.
"What happened to your wrist?" Edwin finally asked,
still breathless.
"Long story.” And I really didn’t want to talk about
it.
"I've got all day baby," he teased, skimming his
fingers over the curve of my hip.
"Really? Ugh," I moaned, flattening myself into
the bed. "It was just an accident. I fell and cut myself. No biggie.”
"Well I hate to say this, but it looks like you tried to
slit your wrist."
"How would you even know what that looks like?"
"I know you've been really stressed lately, and even though
Jenny's been coming to you in your sleep you haven’t started back up on your
meds."
True, those pills would knock me out at night, but I doubt
they’d stop Jenny from coming to me while I'm awake.
"How do you even know that?”
"Come on Abs, I know you like the back of my hand. At
least I thought I did. But now you're keeping things from me, and I'm not sure
why. Is it Jenny? Did you try to kill yourself to be with her."
I screeched with disbelief. "Hardly. If I wanted to
kill myself, I'd be dead. I just dropped the damn knife and fell on it."
"That sounds absolutely ridiculous. You do realize
that. It looks like you nearly chopped your hand off. You actually expect me
to believe that you had this oversized knife out and your wrist accidentally
fell on it?"
"Yes. Because it's the truth."
He pulled the bandage open and gawked at the fresh scabby gash
across my wrist. His fingers trailed next to the wound and he shook his head
trying hard to make sense of it. "You're sure you didn't do this to
yourself? I'm afraid this may be one of those warning signs of suicide, like a
cry for help or something. I would never forgive myself if something ever
happened to you."
I smiled, foolishly happy to hear how much he cared. "Well,
for one, I don't think that you ask the suicidal person that."
"So you are suicidal."
"Edwin! Please drop it. I know what it looks like, but
I assure you it was totally an accident. I. Do Not. Want. To. Kill Myself!"
"Why don't you fill in the blanks for me then? I want
to believe you. Make me believe you."
"What do you want to know?"
"Like why you had that knife out in the first
place."
Shit!
"I want to tell you, but you'll freak," I said, covering my
eyes with my good hand.
"Now I'm gonna freak either way, so you better tell
me."
"Can I at least get dressed first?" I begged. At
least then some of my dignity could remain intact.
"Make it quick. There's no more changing subject.
You're telling me now."
"Ugh. Fine! I may have thought I saw someone staring
at me through the window," I explained anxiously, monitoring Edwin's eyes,
gaging his reaction.
"So you grabbed a knife? Why wouldn't you call me… or
the police?" he hollered, suddenly swelling with rage.
I clambered out of the bed, walked to my closet and began to
redress, trying to ignore the flames shooting from his ears. "I did grab
the phone, but I thought maybe I was just seeing things. Then I saw that we
forgot to lock the back door. I got scared, so I pulled out the knife.” I
spun around to face him. “I was just trying to protect myself."
His rage had already subsided, his blue eyes warmed to teal.
"Nice, and instead you end up stabbing yourself. Worst of all, it's my
fault."