Twisted Together (Monsters in the Dark) (18 page)

My hands fell to bare skin on my right side where no clouds or barbwire existed. It wasn’t fair to leave that part unwritten. That part belonged to Tess and my future.

Tess’s body jolted as she slammed onto her back; her mouth opened in a silent scream. Sucking in greedy breaths, she cried, “No. Not again. I won’t—”

Goddammit, I couldn’t listen to this night after night. I couldn’t torture myself lying beside her when I couldn’t save her.

I
would
fucking save her, and in turn, I’d restore my self-worth.

Any second now she’d wake and hurl herself back to life. Any second now I would catch her and hold her while she sobbed from whatever filth she’d relived.

She would turn to me for help. And I would be there for her.

You almost raped her today. You’re a fucking asshole
.

The memory compounded my headache. How could I want to hurt someone who ruled me?

My stomach knotted, acknowledging the truth. Tess had so much power over me. More than anyone in my entire life.

She’s my fucking queen.

The darkness gave way to light for a brief moment—the roles switched in my head. Abusive master to willing slave.

My eyes snapped wide. I snorted in the darkness.
I’m the
esclave.

Her messy hair snagged on the pillows, throwing herself onto her side. Her tiny hands fisted while her body turned in on itself.

Standing over her, I forced myself to pick up the splintered pieces of my heart from this afternoon. I was done suffering the gauntlet of right and wrong. No matter how much I wanted to accept her flawless gift of absolute ownership, I wanted more.

I
deserved
more.

I was fucking besotted. She would never just be a slave. And I would never just be her master. Our connection went past flesh and blood. It was soul-deep and ever-lasting and I refused to fuck it up with one mistake.

We’d reached a pinnacle in our relationship. The ugly truth was aired. It was time for decisions.

Fuck letting lies win. Fuck letting the past ruin our future.

Tess and I were stronger than words. And I refused to let them wedge us apart and destroy the only good thing in my life.

I would stop this—end all this decay before there was nothing left but rottenness and nothing to salvage.

I would start a new beginning. A clean slate.

I had to do something drastic.

My eyes widened.
You already know what to do
. Fuck, why hadn’t I thought of it sooner?

My headache kept pace with my heart as I glared at Tess. I’d wasted so much time.

Lefebvre and the shower.

It worked last time.

Could it work again?

Energy exploded through my limbs. Looking at Tess one more time, I stormed into the bathroom.

Turning on the light, the glare stung my eyes as I hunted for my clothes. Collecting my trousers off the floor, I jerked them on, followed by a black shirt I’d unpacked before.

My reflection showed a man sleep-dishevelled and wired to his fucking eyeballs, but for once there was a glimmer of hope. Glorious fucking hope.

This is wrong. Wrong on so many levels.

Ignoring the seeping worry in my veins, I didn’t give myself time to second guess. Fishing into my back pocket, I grabbed my cell-phone and punched in a number I’d known by heart since I was five years old.

It took a while to connect. The ringing sent spasms of pain through my head. I stabbed a finger at my reflection. “This has to fucking work, so don’t screw it up.” The mirror stole my threat, echoing back the image of a lunatic. Doubt reared its unwanted head. My eyes looked almost soulless; my five o’ clock shadow unkempt. The tiny scars on my cheeks, brow, and nose glistened like tiny crescent moons.

Goddammit, pick up the fucking phone.

The number rang and rang.

“Bonjour?”
a sleepy female voice came down the line.

About time.

“Suzette. You’re going to do something for me.”

Shuffling, followed by a yawn. “You need something at two in the morning, and you’re not even here?” Her tone mixed with annoyance and obedience. “Did you forget something?”

Before Tess came into my life Suzette was the only female I let get close. We’d never been more than saver and slave, then employee and employer, but our connection had grown to friendship. She pushed me even when it was dangerous to do so. She saw the real me—the one I never acknowledged—and encouraged me regardless.

When Tess arrived it was Suzette who gave me permission to be a bastard. What were her words?
Be like them for a while, because even on your worst days, you don’t rival what they did to me.

I’d never asked her what she’d lived through; I didn’t need to. She told me in her own way—in the panic attacks and sudden terror of my temper. But beneath the small fractures, she was strong.

“I need you to arrange a wedding.”

Suzette giggled. “I thought you eloped so you didn’t have to do any of that?”

I imagined her rolling her eyes as if I was some stupid child who’d forgotten his lunch for the day. She’d taken the role of caring for me a bit too well.

“That was the original plan.
Oui
.”

Another laugh. “But now you’ve changed your mind and want an over-the-top, completely impractical wedding?” A pause. “Did Tess refuse your crazy idea of marrying in the middle of nowhere?”

I snorted. “No. She didn’t refuse.” Even after everything I’d done today she
still
wanted me. The knowledge would never fail to rip the breath right from my lungs.

“It’s hardly a dream location for a girl. She deserves more than a pelican for a witness.”

“Suzette,” I growled. “Instead of undermining me, how about you agree to fucking help.”

My mind raced, forming the crazy idea faster and faster. Tess would have every reason to kill me. She would probably try.

I ran a hand down my face, shaking my head. God—this was fucking dangerous.

“So—why do you need my help?” Suzette prompted.

My mind switched from what I was about to do to the wedding. I didn’t want big—hell, I didn’t want anything more than someone joining Tess’s life to mine—but Tess had said she wanted Suzette there.

She wanted Brax, too.

No fucking way was that little cunt going to be at my wedding. There was only so much I would tolerate.

I paced over the tiles, gripping my chin in thought. The original plan was still my favourite—but I wanted to give Tess the world. And I would.

“You’re going to arrange our wedding.”

“What?” Something banged in the background; Suzette yelped.

My heart exploded. Intruders. Fucking traffickers.

“Suzette!”

Suzette made a sucking noise. “Sorry. It’s dark. I ran into the door. Bashed my fingers.”

“Goddammit…” I breathed out heavily. Franco left a decent team of security in Blois but who knew what the underworld morons would do to get to me. I didn’t want any more blood from people I cared about.

My patience was wearing thin. I wanted them to make a move
now,
so I didn’t have to sit in the shadows and wait.

Pushing the urge for a fight out of my head, I demanded, “Pay attention. Did you hear me? You’re in charge of the wedding.”

A postponement really pissed me off. I still suffered the overwhelming need to make Tess mine in every way possible—to both man and beast—but this new plan…this plan that could royally fucking backfire in my face…it might be everything we needed.

To pull it off I had to embrace a little of what I always ran from. To make it work I had to make Tess believe.

“Yes, I heard you. You’re coming home while I arrange it, right? I need time.”

“No, we’re not coming home. I expect you do it quickly.” How long did it take to arrange a simple ceremony?

“I can’t do it quickly. If you want to give Tess the dream, I need at least a month.”

“No, fucking way. You have five days, Suzette.” My heart galloped, fixated on the idea growing rapidly out of control. Every second sent me hurtling into the unknown. “You have five days to arrange a suitable wedding. Invite who you think should be there. You’re in charge.”

A surprised squeak hurt my ear. “
Five
days? No, there’s no way—”

“No arguing. Do it.”

I made eye contact with myself in the mirror.
Do you seriously think you can pull this off?

That was the kicker. I didn’t know. If I was honest I was fucking terrified. But I had no choice. Tess couldn’t go on like this.
I
couldn’t go on like this.

The only way forward was to go back.

Back to restart time.

Suzette grumbled, “Why do I get the feeling you’re up to something again.”

Because I am.
Something that could mentally screw us up completely.

Suzette sucked in a breath. “Please tell me you’re not doing something crazy. Like releasing all your birds or letting Tess butcher you?”

My jaw locked. “You’re not to mention either of those two things. Ever. Again. Am I understood?” I shuddered involuntarily. I hated that Franco and Suzette saw me so weak. For a while, I worried I’d have to fire them, so I never had to look into their eyes and remember.

But they didn’t watch me with pity like I expected. If anything their loyalty and respect increased.

A soft sigh echoed down the line. “I’m sorry. Just—”

“I’m going. Five days, Suzette.”

“But! But, I have so many questions. Where do you want it? How many guests? What sort of vows?”

“That’s for you to figure out—”

“Wait! Whatever you’re doing, Q…just remember a person can only take so much before it’s all over.”

What the fuck?

I reared back, glaring at the phone as if it had somehow transmitted my idea down the line and into Suzette’s thoughts.

Suzette was intuitive. Just like Tess.

I looked over my shoulder to the bathroom door. Fuck, if I was so obvious, what if Tess sensed what I was about to do? What if she’d run again?

Urgency and fear hijacked my legs. I stalked to the door, wrenching it open to glare into the bedroom. Tess hadn’t moved, bundled tightly in the sheets.

I’m coming for you.

My headache raged with the finality of my decision.

I was done with the phone call. Every passing second was a second I could never get back. “Get it done, Suzette.” I hung up. Shoving the phone into my pocket, I sucked in a ragged breath.

This was it.

No turning back.

The moment I started this, I had to keep going. Regardless if Tess swore, cursed, or wanted me to die. She might absolutely despise me afterward—but that was a risk I would take. For her. I would willingly wear her hatred if it meant I cured her.

Turning on the tap, I splashed my face with cold water, glaring at my reflection.
Man the fuck up and do it.

Pacing to the door, I tore it open. My hands opened and closed as adrenaline filtered through my limbs.

Tess didn’t wake, comatose with the devils inside her. If I had my way it would be the last nightmare she ever had. Tonight I would enter her thoughts and slaughter every last fucking one.

Prowling through the darkness, I found the wardrobe and wrenched it open. A small light came on, highlighting a multitude of dressing gowns. Towel, fleece, silk, and cotton.

Ripping out a silk sash, I ran the material through my fingertips. It was soft, cool, and black. Perfect.

Grabbing another belt from a cotton dressing gown, I yanked it to see if it stretched. Just a little give. Good to know.

With the belts clutched in my hands, I faced the bed.

Tess whimpered, her hands bunching the sheets. From here, her face was flushed, not deathly white. She was close to waking.

I moved forward, glad of the dark. It was my friend, my ally. The accomplice in what I was about to do.

The bed hit my knees. I climbed onto the mattress, crawling forward till I positioned myself hovering over Tess. My fists indented the bed either side of her head as she slept.

I allowed myself a moment to drink her in. To trace the almost disappeared bruises on her arms. To grow hard staring at her perfect figure. But it was the brand on her neck that enraptured me.

The angry burn settled the growling monster inside. She would never be able to remove the scar. She’d announced permanently she would never leave me. No matter what I did to her.

My heart lurched, willingly allowing a small flavour of anger and darkness to settle.

Tonight was the last night she would suffer. Tonight, I would kill the past and invoke a new future.

By doing to her what the other cocksuckers had done before.

I’d broken the hold of her rape by giving her a new memory. I took her in the shower—replacing Lefebvre with me—turning horror into something more liveable.

I didn’t think it would work. It was a stupid,
stupid
thing to do.

But it did work. And I had to believe it would again.

I was about to make Tess relive everything.

I was about to stamp out the past and replace each incident with a new memory.

I was about to kidnap my fiancée.