Two and Twenty Dark Tales (33 page)

She went home, took a shower, and dried her hair. She considered her clothes carefully, finally settling on an old floral skirt she’d bought at the thrift store. She paired it with a simple white t-shirt and the French blue ballet flats she’d saved to buy last summer. Then she waited for the sun to begin its descent, because the carnival was always better at night. Once her grandmother was settled, Ruby left the house.

She walked the short distance to the fairgrounds alone, the sidewalks becoming more crowded as she got closer to the carnival. She was half a block away when she heard the
clack-clack-roar
of the mini-coaster rising up over the music.

Stepping across the threshold was like entering another world. The moment her feet crossed from the sidewalk onto the dirt and matted grass of the fairground, everything else fell away.

She took a deep breath, soaking in the atmosphere as she strolled the aisles, taking her time, gazing into each booth and stopping to talk to some of the carnies along the way. They smiled and laughed, and her eyes were drawn to the trailers and motor homes that lurked in the shadows behind the tents and canopies. What would it be like to be one of them? To travel from place to place, every week a new adventure? To meet new people all the time and to be surrounded by others who surely had their own secrets, their own burdens?

She had just bought a cloud of pink cotton candy and was reveling in the fizzy feel of it dissolving on her tongue, when she saw the boy walking toward her. He looked out of place, his pants too loose, old-fashioned suspenders holding them up over a white shirt. He didn’t wear sneakers, but dress shoes, like the kind Mr. Cohen wore with his frumpy suits, though the boy’s were scuffed and dirty while Mr. Cohen’s were always super shiny.

Ruby ducked her head, meaning to pass him without drawing attention to herself, but he stopped in front of her so that she was forced to stop, too.

“Hello,” he said, brushing a lock of dark hair from his eyes.

She resisted the urge to look behind her, to make sure he was actually talking to her. “Hello.”

“I’m Sam.”

She looked down at his hand, held out for her to shake. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had tried to shake her hand. Usually people looked at her twisted wrist, her clenched fingers, and didn’t know what to do.

She took his hand with her good one. His skin was clean and soft. “Ruby.”

He nodded knowingly, like he’d known her name all along. “Would you like to walk, Ruby? I have a few minutes before my break is up.”

She thought about it, wondering if there was some kind of catch, and deciding there wasn’t. “Okay. Do you work here?” she asked as they started walking.

“When they need me.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “What about you? What do you do?”

“Me?” She laughed. “Nothing, really. Just… you know, go to school and stuff.”

He tipped his head at her, like he’d caught her lying, and she found herself speaking again, saying things she didn’t plan on saying.

“I read. And… I listen to music and… well, I think a lot, I guess.”

“And you come to the fair,” he said.

“Yes.”

He bent down and picked something up as they came to the end of the aisle. She was surprised when he took her hand and placed the object in her palm without even looking at it.

She opened her fingers and saw that it was a whistle, the tin polished to a high shine despite the fact that he had found it in the dirt.

“For me?” she asked softly.

“For you.”

He’ll come bearing a whistle, a ticket, and a ribbon of blue.

“It was nice talking to you, Ruby.” He turned to go, looking back over his shoulder. “See you tomorrow.”

She watched him go, his stride confident but not cocky. It was only later that she realized there hadn’t been a question mark in his final words.

***

She spent the better part of the next day thinking about Sam. About the dark eyes that seemed to be telling her something precious and important. About the way he’d said he’d see her tonight, not just like he wanted her to come, but like he knew that she would.

She’d carried the whistle carefully in her pocket, taking it out once or twice, staring at it like it held the answer to all of life’s mysteries. After dinner, she’d cleaned up and gotten Grandma settled into bed. She was having more trouble breathing than usual. Ruby wondered if they would have to make an unexpected trip to the doctor for new meds.

And all the while Sam was there, hovering at the periphery of her mind, a promise in the night still to come.

By the time she arrived at the fair, her heart was thudding in her chest. She had no idea where Sam worked, if he ran one of the games or food kiosks or if he just helped set up and tear down.

She started down the first aisle, stopping when she saw Trevor trying to win a stuffed animal for Melanie, who looked surly and annoyed. It made Ruby wonder at the strange component of human nature that allowed someone like Melanie to be elected Prom Queen. She wasn’t nice. No one even really
liked
her. But it was like she was so sure of her own superiority that everyone else thought they must be missing something, like Melanie really must be amazing if she was so sure of it, even though if they’d stopped to think about it, they would have realized she was just a stuck-up bitch.

Just once, Ruby wanted to see someone worthy get some attention. It didn’t have to be her. Just someone—anyone—
good
. Someone like Amelie Cavanaugh, who always held doors for Ruby and walked with her to class, talking about books and movies and music like Ruby was normal, like she was one of them. No one ever made fun of her when she was with Amelie, because Amelie had been nice to all of them at one time or another when they really needed it.

But still, Amelie hadn’t won Prom Queen, because the truth was, she was just
too
nice.

She’d reached the end of the first aisle, a wave of disappointment washing over her with the possibility that maybe she wouldn’t see Sam at all, when he stepped from the shadows.

“Hello, Ruby.” His voice was intimate, familiar, like they’d known each other longer than one day. Like they’d spent hours and hours talking instead of just a few minutes.

“Hi. I wondered if you’d be here tonight.” Normally, she would have regretted the words, cursed herself for sounding pathetic. But she found she had no regrets. Nothing with Sam was ruled by normal boundaries, unspoken rules. It just was.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” he said simply.

“You have?”

“Of course.” He held up two paper tickets. “Want to go on the Ferris wheel?”

Her heart caught in her throat. She’d never been on the Ferris wheel. Going alone wasn’t an option, and her grandmother wouldn’t have gone with her in a million years.

“It’s okay,” he said, gently. “I’ll be right there. I know the guy who runs it. He’ll wait as long as you need.”

Like she’d voiced all her fears aloud. Like he could see the scene playing out in her mind, the long shuffle to the Ferris wheel seat, everyone staring and whispering.

She nodded. “Okay.”

They walked to the center of the carnival. The Ferris wheel rose from the ground like a many-lighted beacon, and Sam put a hand on her back as he guided her into line. It was strange, that touch. Foreign and exciting and the most natural thing in the world.

When it was their turn to board, the bearded man who ran the ride reached for the bar, lifting it so Ruby could get in. He smiled right into her eyes as she moved past him, Sam’s arm on her elbow to steady her.

It wasn’t as difficult as she’d expected. Sam’s guidance helped, and she realized then how much easier life was with someone by your side, someone just to
be
there, to steady you when you were unsure.

She settled next to him on the red vinyl seat and the bearded man clicked the safety bar into place. The wheel started to turn, and Ruby felt her stomach drop as they rose into the night sky. They weren’t moving fast, but it was the most exhilarating feeling she’d ever had. The town stretched before them, lights twinkling in the distance. She could see the school and the market and even, she was sure of it, the house she shared with her grandmother. But from this vantage point, everything looked beautiful, magical.

She laughed out loud, unable to contain her delight. When she looked over at Sam, he was smiling, his eyes tender. He reached for her hand and didn’t let go, the wheel turning and turning, making graceful circles in the sky while Ruby tried to remember every moment. Maybe this is what the old woman had meant. There was the whistle yesterday, and now, the Ferris wheel and freedom.

She wanted the ride to go on and on, but eventually, the wheel slowed down, moving in increments as the bearded man stopped it to empty each seat of its passengers. When it was their turn, Sam got out first and reached for her hand, helping her to her feet and guiding her off the platform.

They walked down the ramp, and this time when Ruby stumbled, she laughed, because the other Ferris wheel riders were doing the same thing, trying to get their legs back under them after being in the sky.

“Well, I guess I better get back to work,” Sam said reluctantly.

She nodded. “Thanks for the ride. It was amazing.”

He smiled into her eyes. “It was.”

For the first time, Ruby felt awkward, embarrassed. She didn’t know what to do in situations like this, She didn’t have a cell phone, didn’t use the computer much. Was it too forward to ask for his phone number? Would he ask for hers?

Her face got hot as the seconds ticked by, Sam’s eyes on hers.

“Oh!” he said suddenly. “I almost forgot!” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a piece of paper and handing it to her.

She looked down at it, folded over in her palm. “What… what is this?”

“It’s a pass.” He shuffled his feet a little. “Tomorrow’s the last night. I was hoping to see you, but I didn’t want you to have to pay.”

She heard the old woman’s voice in her head:…
a whistle, a ticket, and a ribbon of blue.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

He reached over and gave her hand one last squeeze. He paused, like he wanted to say something, but in the end he just turned away.

She stood there, watching him go, the ticket warm in her hand.

***

Her grandmother was worse the next day, the coughing so bad she could hardly breathe. After a phone call to the doctor, the home nurse came by and made some adjustments to the oxygen tank. Ruby cooked them all grilled cheese sandwiches while the nurse made Grandma comfortable. They ate in the living room, Grandma propped up on the couch, her eyes glassy with fatigue.

Nibbling at her sandwich, Ruby was torn. She knew the nurse planned to stay until ten. Knew her grandmother would be looked after. But Ruby felt bad leaving anyway, like she was abandoning her when she most needed comfort.

But there was Sam. She saw his dark eyes in her mind, felt his hand, strong and gentle on her own when they’d ridden the Ferris wheel. He was expecting her, and she had no way to reach him, to tell him she couldn’t make it. Tomorrow, the carnival would be gone, and Sam with it.

She felt guilty for the relief that flooded her body when her grandmother nodded off on the couch, a soft snore coming from her mouth. She would just go for an hour, no more. The nurse could keep an eye on Grandma for that long. She wouldn’t even know Ruby was gone.

She changed into a peasant skirt that swished around her legs, trying not to be embarrassed at the realization that she wanted to look pretty for Sam. Then she said goodbye to the nurse with a promise to return by ten.

This time, Sam was waiting for her just inside the gate. His face lit up when he saw her, and he walked toward her with a smile.

“You made it.”

She smiled. “Yes.”

His eyes were like a ray of sunlight on her face. It was like he saw only her, and under his gaze she blossomed like a flower. She felt herself opening. Opening and opening and opening. All of her body and soul turning inside out, revealing all the best, most pure, most peaceful parts of herself. All the pieces that were hidden by the drudgery and monotony of her days.

“Let’s walk.” He held out his hand.

She took it, and they moved down the aisle.

“What do you want to do?” he asked.

No one had ever asked her that before. “I don’t know.”

He stopped, turning to look at her. “Think about it, Ruby. What do you want to do? What have you always wanted to do?”

She only had to think about it a minute. “Everything,” she admitted.

He grinned. “Everything it is.”

They played the ping-pong game, Ruby turning down the prize of a goldfish because, really, she couldn’t take care of one more thing. They threw darts at balloons tacked to a plywood wall, Sam handing her a stuffed bear when he won. They ate cotton candy until their tongues turned blue, funnel cake until their fingers were sticky. Ruby wished the old woman was there so they could both pay to have their fortunes read, so she could tell Ruby if this was the boy she’d mentioned all those years ago.

Finally, they came to the end of the last row. Ruby’s stomach hurt from laughing so hard, her cheeks sore from smiling. It was the happiest day of her life.

Sam pulled her into the shadows, one arm around her waist. “I have something for you.”

“You do?” She was whispering and she didn’t know why, except that maybe she was afraid to break the spell of their last night together.

He nodded and reached into his pocket, pulling from it a bright, blue ribbon. It trailed, silky and shimmering, from his hand.

“I thought it would look nice in your hair,” he explained. “May I?”

She nodded shyly, turning her back to him, resisting the urge to lean into him as he tied it around the ponytail at the back of her head.

He turned her gently around and ran a finger across her cheekbone. “What are you afraid of?”

The question took her by surprise. “What do you mean?”

“What is your biggest fear?”

She swallowed, thinking. “I don’t have one anymore.”