Two Notorious Dukes (16 page)

Elizabeth was feeling quite sick in the coach. The
constant motion was like being at sea and she
remembered with embarrassment the only time she
had sailed to Ireland.

I know I’m going to be sick in a moment!
She said
to herself.
DO NOT BE SICK!
She berated herself, as she
took deep breaths and swallowed consistently. But it
didn’t make any difference, she felt her stomach heave
and she lurched to her feet and yanked the window
down, reached out to turn the handle and in the end
had no choice but to stick her head and shoulders out of
the window and throw up in the road, trying
desperately to keep the ribbons of her bonnet out of
the stream of fluid.

The coachman heard her and slowly stopped the
carriage as Argyll looked in the coach to see her body
hanging through the door.

‘Elizabeth?’ he called, quite shocked. She waved
her hand as she opened the door and jumped out of the
coach. Argyll kicked his horse forward and trotted
around the coach to find Elizabeth vomiting again in the
hedgerow. He asked for the water flagon and stepped
down from his horse. He pulled his large cotton
handkerchief from the turned up cuff of his jacket and
soaked it in water.

By the time he got to her, Elizabeth had finished
throwing up and was swallowing convulsively. She was
panting and almost crying. Argyll bent over and looked
in her face, swiped the wet hanky over her face and
pulled her upright. ‘Well, I think I now know why you
fainted on the terrace.’ He said as he lifted her chin and
wiped her face again. He helped her to drink from the
stone flask. She gulped at the water. ‘Take your time.’
He admonished and pulled the bottle slowly away. She
gulped and panted some more.

‘Thank you.’ She managed to enunciate, but
promptly bent over and evacuated her stomach again.
‘God Damn!’ she shouted and started to sob in
embarrassment. ‘I’m so sorry.’ She blurted as Argyll
wiped her face again.

‘Don’t be.’ He laughed. ‘I spent a couple of years
in the army, so I’ve seen it and heard it all. You can’t be
in the army without seeing and hearing about
pregnancy and childbirth.’ He said and laughed again.
‘I’ve heard some choice language when it was delivery
time! Now let’s get you back in the coach and I’ll tell you
the tale of when Robbie and I had to deliver a soldiers
baby because he was out on a secret mission!’ He
hustled her back to the carriage and helped her up the
steps. Then he went and tied his horse to the back of
the carriage and stepped inside. ‘At least you didn’t
throw up in here.’ He said and smiled.

‘I didn’t expect to throw up at all.’ Elizabeth said
indignantly. ‘I thought it was all finished before we left.’
‘Well, morning sickness isn’t only in the
mornings.’ He said gently.
‘I know. This isn’t my first baby, but if I’m lucky it
will be the first one to go the full term.’
‘Do you know why you lost the other one?’ he
asked delicately.
‘It was more than one,’ she almost spat and then
she looked at him and moderated her voice. ‘Sorry. It’s
not your fault he kicked me down the stairs!’
‘Is that what Craanford did?’ he asked aghast.
‘Yes. The moment I told him I was with child he
took me to the top of the staircases and kicked me
down to the front door.’ She looked out of the window
and into the past. ‘The first one miscarried that night, so
when I became pregnant again I didn’t tell him until I
was three months gone and he did the same thing. I
miscarried two days later. The third child I hoped to
conceal until it was at least big enough to survive
premature birth, but I was wasting my time!’ she
sighed. ‘He came home from his club, took his whip to
me, because I was reluctant to allow him his conjugal
rights and as he wrenched off my dress, he saw how
swollen my stomach was and again he kicked me down
the stairs. That baby was a girl and I delivered her still
born at three o’clock in the morning, as the physician
was trying to stop it. He told me he thought the foetus
was dead, as he wasn’t sure if he could hear a
heartbeat. Two contractions later she was out and lying
on the sheet. Perfectly formed, except for the flat top to
her head, caused by Edward’s foot.’
Argyll wished he’d not said anything, looking at
the horrified expression on her face. ‘I’m sorry.’ He
whispered.
She turned and smiled at him. ‘What have you to
be sorry for?’
‘I didn’t mean to cause you distress.’ He said
uncomfortably.
‘Well, if Robert is as gentle as he seems, I
shouldn’t have any problems this time around.’ She
said. ‘Anyway you were going to regale me with a tale of
your midwifery skills?’
‘Well, my father, the duke, decided I should go
to India for a year or so. Now he knew it was dangerous,
as I was his only male heir, but he insisted. So after Eton
and before Cambridge, that’s what I did. I met Robbie
there, so it wasn’t all bad, but I didn’t like the heat or
the flies. I was a Lieutenant and Robbie was a Captain,
so he was my superior officer. Anyway, the camp had
followers; it was massive really, like a moving city and
the wives followed their soldier husbands. Now not all
of them were English, some were half-castes and some
were pure bred Indians.’
‘How did English soldiers end up with Indian
wives?’ She asked surprised.
‘When you sack a fort or a town, the rape and
pillage is awful and I for one don’t ever want to see it
again, but some of the soldiers take a girl to protect
them and then next thing they are living as man and
wife and the babies are arriving. Sergeant Black had to
go on a special mission with the Colonel, I won’t go into
the specifics, but our platoon was gone. I was
recovering from a touch of Delhi belly and Robbie had
an infected sword slice on his leg that the surgeon was
treating. Black’s wife was our laundress and she brought
Robbie his shirts, had a laugh and a joke with us. All of a
sudden her water’s broke and she was in labour there
and then.’ He laughed in embarrassment. ‘Of course, I
was new to all this, but Robbie steps into the breach like
a surgeon. “Just sit here, Mrs. Black.” He says and helps
her into his cot. He yells at the punkawallah for some
hot water, lays out his shaving razor and gets a ball of
string from his chest as calm as you like.’ He wiped his
forehead and she could see the sweat springing out on
his forehead just talking about it. ‘He does no more than
lift her skirt and open her legs. I was horrified, but she
didn’t seem to care as she started moaning. Robbie
says. “Give me a hand here, its presenting already!” I
had no idea what he meant until he told me where to
stand and what he wanted me to do and as I looked at
her I could see the baby’s head as clear as my hat.’ He
said looking down at his headgear. ‘I have never been so
shocked or astonished in my life, as I was that day. I felt
honoured to have helped a life into the world. She
heaved and cried, and all of a sudden this scrap of
humanity slid out into Robbie’s waiting hands. He asked
for the string and tied off the umbilical and then he
asked for the razor. He wrapped it in one of his finest
shirts and handed it to Mrs. Black.’ He smiled proudly.
‘I’m afraid we both got excessively drunk that night.’ He
finished coyly. ‘But Black was very grateful when he got
back, because he had a fine healthy boy.’
Elizabeth was laughing at his rendition and she
could so easily see Robert doing that. ‘Well, I hope he
doesn’t have to deliver ours.’ She murmured.
‘That’s better. You have some colour in your
cheeks again.’ Argyll said softly. ‘Maybe you should lie
down for a bit?’
She shook her head. ‘I already feel like I’m on
the ocean waves. If I lie down it will only be worse. It’s
better if I’m able to get to the window quickly.’ She said
and smiled.
The journey was interminable but eventually
they arrived at Grosvenor Square and Lady Verity was
waiting for them. Argyll came in, changed his clothes
and went straight to his club, where the Prince Regent
was holding court.
‘Argyll! How the devil are you?’ he burst out.
‘Where have you been?’
‘I’ve been in the country your Highness.’
‘Oh! God! Don’t talk to me about the bloody
country. I’ve been ensconced at Kensington Palace this
month. I can’t abide the King’s idiocy anymore.’ He
reached into his waistcoat, which was pulled tight over
his portly stomach and pulled out a snuff box. ‘Here, try
this, Argyll.’ He said tapping the box. ‘Guaranteed to
make your eyes water!’ he prised the lid open and took
a pinch of the aromatic powder.
Argyll didn’t particularly like snuff. He’d lost his
appetite for it in India, but he took a tiny pinch,
sprinkled it along his forefinger and sniffed sharply. It
felt as if his sinuses were on fire! He coughed and his
eyes streamed. Flicking out his linen handkerchief he
sneezed copiously and blew his nose until he blew all
the snuff out. ‘Yes, Your Highness,’ he spluttered
between coughing bouts. ‘Its a rare snuff!’ Coughed
again and shouted. ‘Bring me a bloody brandy
somebody!’
The Prince was in no better condition, except he
was laughing as well. ‘Told you, didn’t I?’ he said in
between spluttering coughs. He blew his nose loudly on
his silk handkerchief. ‘Damn me, but that was fun!’ he
said jovially.
Argyll knew he should always use restraint
around the Prince, but sometimes it was difficult to
refuse him his entertainment. With his father’s insanity,
he was now ruler and therefore had the weight of the
world on his shoulders. So, Argyll couldn’t really
begrudge him a little fun over a pinch of snuff.
‘Damn me! Where’s Robbie?’ the Prince asked.
‘He’s still at Roding, seeing to estate matters and
visiting his Grandmother, Your Highness.’
‘Oh! Yes!’ the Prince said in wonder. ‘I
remember Robbie’s Grannie. She was a tyrant.’ He
laughed suddenly. ‘I think she had her eye on Susanna
becoming my wife, she certainly didn’t hide her from
me when she introduced her.’
‘I remember, Your Highness.’ Argyll said calmly,
for he too would always remember Robbie’s little sister
with fondness. She wasn’t only beautiful and innocent,
she had an impish quality about her that intrigued
males over sixteen and under sixty five.
‘What happened to her?’ the Prince asked softly.
‘The morbid sore throat, Your Highness, it took
them all. The only reason Robbie and his Grandmother
survived was that she was still in London and Robbie
was in Copenhagen with the Army.’
‘Yes, of course. I remember now. Robbie had to
be recalled because he had ducal duties to perform.’ He
looked at Argyll. ‘So how is the Lady Sarah?’ he asked
impertinently. But then the Prince Regent did
everything impertinently.
‘Lady Sarah is well and getting ready to take her
marriage vows, Your Highness.’
‘Really?’ the Prince asked with his eyebrows
almost at his hairline. ‘So who did Lady Verity choose
for her?’
‘That would be me, Your Highness. I should
never have paid for her first kiss.’
The Prince laughed delightedly. ‘Serves you
right!’
‘It was worth it though.’ He smiled at the Prince.
‘Robbie is contemplating marriage too.’
‘The devil he is!’ the Prince exploded. ‘Who is he
marrying?’
‘Lady Elizabeth Craanford, Your Highness.’
‘Craanford! Why do I know that name?’ The
Prince muttered and turned to another Duke, ‘Norfolk!
Why do I know the name of Craanford?’
‘Because you had a meeting with him yesterday
about Ireland, Your Highness.’
‘Oh! Yes, that’s right.’ He muttered and looked
at Argyll, ‘didn’t like him much. He certainly had no
sense of humour and I thought he was going to storm
out when I offered him the snuff.’ He laughed coarsely.
‘But his good sense won out. I think even an idiot
realises not to upset the Prince Regent as he holds the
country’s purse strings.’
‘What was he after?’ Argyll asked evenly.
‘Concessions, as always. Wants to be Earl
Marshall of Ireland, I think. Come to think of it, he was
blabbering on about me giving him support in his efforts
to secure his dead cousins wife. Apparently he’s asked
her a few times.’
‘He can ask ‘til doomsday, Sir. She’s going to
marry Robbie Bosworth and become a Duchess, not stay
a Countess.’
‘I don’t blame her, really.’ The Prince
acknowledged. ‘There’s no contest. Robbie is a
gentleman, but I doubt that Craanford is.’
‘If he’s anything like his dead cousin, he won’t
be.’
‘What do you know?’ the Prince demanded like a
gossipy old woman.
Argyll had a moment of reluctance and then he
told the Prince everything he knew about the
Craanford’s.
‘He did that to his wife?’ the Prince demanded.
‘Was the man mad?’
‘Obviously, Your Highness.’
‘He must have been to kill his heirs off.’ He said
disgruntled and it wasn’t often a bit of gossip could
upset the Prince Regent.
‘He probably did it because pregnancy would be
inconvenient, Your Highness.’ The Prince nodded.
‘Yes, if he was a brute, he wouldn’t easily give up
on his whipping girl now would he? He wouldn’t be able
to find one somewhere else easily, because the local
whores are a bit touchy about that.’
‘Well, if you ask Robbie, you’ll find he doesn’t
think this Craanford will be any different from the other
one.’ Argyll said. ‘Apparently the blackguard won’t take
no for an answer and has threatened the Lady
concerned.’
‘Well in that case, he can fish for Earl Marshall. I
can’t have a brute like that ruling Ireland. He’d be too
keen to send the buggers to the rope!’ He turned
suddenly ‘Norfolk? Remind me to forget Craanford for
the Ireland job! He’s not fit for it.’
‘Yes, Your Highness.’ The Duke of Norfolk
muttered and shook his head.

‘So, you’re with child.’ Lady Verity said without
any preamble.
‘I am.’ Elizabeth stated and looked challengingly
at Lady Verity, daring her to complain.
‘I’m delighted.’ She said and smiled brightly, ‘but
your wedding will have to be soon.’
Elizabeth relaxed. ‘I’m not a month yet; the
morning sickness has just started and is still
intermittent.’
‘I suppose you know the signs well.’ Verity
stated.
‘Yes. I’ve had plenty of practice.’ Elizabeth said
and a shadow passed over her face as she thought
about the other babies.
‘Very well, I’ve put you in the Green room this
time around, so John can actually have his ducal suite
back. And then I won’t have to listen to him trying to get
into your room again.’ She smiled tightly, ‘and Sarah is
in the pink room next to mine, where he definitely can’t
get at her.’