Two Outta Three (Two Outta Three #1) (11 page)

“Next time warn me before shoving pictures of random body parts in my face, okay?”

Stephanie laughed and snapped a picture of her smiling face.

I frowned. “What? No boob shot in return?”

“Hell no! He might be all about sending me naked pictures, but I have class!” She paused and grinned mischievously. “He needs to win my heart before he sees this ass.”

I snorted. “Nice.”

“Thought you’d enjoy it.” She bowed and threw her phone to the side. “Okay, now that that’s done, finish telling me about Jesse.”

“What’s there to tell? My plan backfired.”

“What did you expect? Jesse’s been in a class all his own since we were younger. It’s going to take a lot to shock him or shake him.”

“True.”

“If it’s any consolation, I’m sure you did rock his boat just a teeny bit.”

It did make me feel better. With a small smile I asked, “How?”

“You didn’t react to his retaliation. Even when we were younger you’d be the first to freak out about something he said or did. This time you handled it rather adult, actually.”

“Well, I did grow up,” I reminded her.

“So is this done? All this stupid proving yourself by shoving dildos in each other’s faces is done?” Stephanie shook her head in disgust. “Honestly, you both are acting a bit juvenile. This is like the adult version of punching the kid you like during recess. You guys really need to relieve this sexual tension.”

I shifted uncomfortably. “Sexual tension? Please.”

Stephanie lifted an eyebrow. “Really, you can say that to me right now?”

I fidgeted. “Well, it’s one-sided. He doesn’t look at me like that.” I looked down at my feet. “Besides, he’s always liked teasing me like this. It kind of feels nice to joke on each other again.”

My friend nodded her head in thought. “Yeah, he always did drag you around on his stupid outings to get a rise out of you.” She looked into my eyes and smiled. “Looks like he’s doing that again.”

“Yeah, looks like he’s doing something again,” I muttered. I glanced at Stephanie’s mirror and sighed at the perplexed reflection on my face.

It was good that he was joking around with me again, right? It was good that he was finally opening up as opposed to flat out ignoring me. So why did I feel like this?

I felt Stephanie squeeze my shoulder. Glancing up, I threw her a scowl. “Maybe you should stop playing shrink with me.”

“I just wanted to remind you that this plan of yours is a really bad idea.” She turned to her kitchen and grabbed a plate of cannolis from the counter. Stuffing one into her mouth, she returned to the living room and placed the plate down onto the coffee table in front of me, almost as an offering for whatever tough love she was about to lay on me.

I shook my head and asked a question I already knew the answer to. “Why is that?”

With a full mouth she answered, “Because you’re bound to get hurt! I mean what’s the purpose of this? To prove you’re some badass chick because you’re not.”

“Hey, stop being mean.”

“It’s true. Or are you really doing this because you want him to realize how madly in love with you he is? Because he won’t.”

“Are you just trying to be a bitch? Because it’s working.”

She placed her cannoli down and dusted her hands off. “Jesse has always had a wall surrounding him. You were the only person who could penetrate it.”

Penetrate. Ugh, such an ugly word.

“You’re basically rebuilding the friendship you missed so much and now you’re going to ruin it by reenacting your rebellious stage. Why are you Sandra Deeing this? Didn’t we always say don’t change for a guy?”

“I’m not changing,” I protested. “I just want to prove a point.

“Well stop. It’s a stupid ploy to try to relive the past. Just be yourself—the Rocky now.”

“You mean the anxious girl who doesn’t even sketch anymore because—”

“Someone trashed her art exhibit?” she finished quietly.

I shut my eyes tightly and sighed. “Yeah, that girl.”

Stephanie shook her head and smiled weakly. “It’ll just take time. For you and him. For you both. Things will get better, I promise.”

“It didn’t take any amount of time for you and Daniel to hit it off again,” I reminded her.

“That’s because we didn’t share the same bond you two had.” She patted her heart and took a deep breath. “It doesn’t take a genius to know you hurt the ones you love the most. It also doesn’t take a genius to know it’s hard to be friends with your exes.”

I blinked in surprise. “We were never exes.”

Giving me a knowing grin, she replied, “Oh, yeah. He was definitely yours.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You tell me.” She stared into my eyes and for a moment I felt as if she were peering deep into the recesses of my brain.

“What?” I snapped, looking away. I rubbed my arms, suddenly feeling naked. “You’re being ridiculous. How can we be exes if we didn’t even go out?”

“I didn’t say you were his ex, did I?”

I shook my head and stared at her blankly.

“It’s all about that unrequited love bullshit and look, I get all the hoopla, I really do. What I don’t get is why you’re going about it the same way you always have. You’re basically throwing away your second chance.”

“And how am I doing that?” I asked with a sigh.

Frowning, she answered, “By trying to be like him. Changing yourself to fit his image.”

I folded my arms and scowled. “Stop playing shrink with me. What do you even know about stuff like this?”

“You’re forgetting I work with brains.”

“Yeah, neuroimaging, not psychology,” I pointed out.

She pointed her fingers and began to draw circles on either side of her head. “I know the goings on with synapses and neurons. I had to take a few psychology classes to get my degree, you know. Trust me when I say that I know what you’re thinking better than you do.”

“All right, Psychic Woman. Tell me what I’m thinking.”

“It’s what your subconscious is thinking, Rocky. There’s something about Jesse that reels you in. Maybe he’s a reflection of what you wish you could be, so subconsciously you try to emulate him in hopes of attracting him.”

Yeah, Steph was always the smart one. Of course I wouldn’t tell her that.

“Why would I want to be like him? That’s just weird.”

“Why would you?” she threw back at me.

For a moment I felt a need to lie down on her couch and stare at the ceiling. I imagined her grabbing a little notepad and scribbling her observations away a la Freud. I scratched my head and sighed. “Maybe…”

“Yes?” Stephanie prodded.

“Maybe it’s because I was always expected to be the good one, you know? Emily was always doing something wrong in my parents’ eyes and I was the angel. I guess it got boring and I don’t know…Jesse came along and…”

“Your sexual awakening happened,” Stephanie replied in all seriousness. She patted my arm. “I know, I know.”

I rolled my eyes. “But that still doesn’t back your theory up.”

“How so? You practically just gave me key evidence for another thesis.”

“Why would I want to be like Jesse to get him to like me? I want to be me to get him to like me.”

“What if the you you’re trying to be is actually the you that you’re supposed to be?”

“Wait, what?” I shook my head in confusion.

Stephanie pretended to push up a pair of non-existent glasses up her nose. “Why do you like art?”

“I get to create things,” I responded blankly, wondering where the hell she was getting at.

“And how does that make you feel?”

“I don’t know…alive, I guess.” At least it used to.

“Elaborate.”

I took a full minute thinking before I answered. “When I put my graphite to my paper, I feel as if I’m creating life. Each line makes me feel a little buzz. Like I’m where I’m supposed to be.”

“Okay. How do you feel when you’re with Jesse?”

I clasped my hands together and shrugged my shoulders. “I used to feel excited.”

“What about now?”

“Confused is a good word.”

Stephanie smiled. “Well, given how he’s been acting it’s no wonder you’re confused. But let’s focus on the excitement factor. Did you know excitement is linked to dopamine? It’s the same hormone and neurotransmitter that motivates you and feeds addiction because it stimulates pleasure.”

“I’m not following.”

“Well, doing your artsy fartsy stuff feeds into your excitement, thus increasing the level of the hormone. Tell me, when you can’t draw, sketch, or paint, how do you feel?”

“Kinda blah. In fact, it’s how I’ve been kinda feeling for a while.”

“You still feel anxious, don’t you?” she asked sympathetically.

“You know the answer to that.” I looked away, unable to meet her eyes.

“Low dopamine can cause that too.”

I rolled my eyes. “Are you saying that you think I want Jesse’s attention because it’ll increase my hormone levels? Because that’s stupid! There’s so much more to a friendship than stupid hormones.”

Her face was expressionless. “How have you been feeling since he’s been back? Same level of excitement that you get when you draw?”

“It’s not the same kind of excitement,” I argued.

“But it’s excitement, nonetheless. Excitement that you haven’t felt since you last painted and sketched, right?”

I shrugged.

Stephanie smiled triumphantly. “Jesse awakened those synapses in your brain. He awakened those neurotransmitters and hormones. It’s why you’re addicted to his attention. He makes you feel alive again.”

“But I don’t want to be addicted to him.” I pouted slightly. “That’s so degrading. I want him to be addicted to me.”

“Okay, Miss Double Standard.”

“I’m serious. I mean, you make me feel good in a BFF sort of way. Does that mean I’m addicted to you?” Like a child throwing a tantrum, I crossed my hands across my chest and huffed. “No! You’re just feeding me a lot of bullshit.”

“You’re right.”

I lifted my head in surprise. Stephanie never let me win an argument that easily. “I am?”

She smiled. “Maybe you’re not addicted to excitement…did you know that dopamine is also linked to love?”

“What?”

With a knowing look she answered, “It was never just a crush with you, Rocky. You were in love with him. That’s why you’re trying to so hard to get his attention. You want him back. What did I say earlier about him being your ex?”

“Just some random crap.” I shot her a sarcastic grin.

“Believe me or not, just promise me one thing?”

“And what is that?”

“Stop being juvenile. Sometimes relationships need time to restart and recharge. I think you and Jesse are a prime example of that.” Taking another bite of her cannoli, she nodded her head. “Just be patient. It’ll happen.”

“Being friends again?” I offered.

She winked. “Something like that.”

Chapter 15

Pieces of frost and ice crunched under my feet as I dragged myself back to work the next day. My little therapy session with Stephanie ended up knocking me down a few rungs, leaving me feeling even more lost and confused than I started out. Was it possible to have a mid-life crisis at my age? If not, I think the convoluted feeling in my brain could prove the theory wrong.

“I can’t be addicted to Jesse, could I?” I mumbled under my breath.

I thought back to high school and all the times I joined him in his pursuit of unruliness. Somehow, despite my anxiety, I was able to push through and enjoy myself. Why? I knew it wasn’t because of an addiction.

I shook my head. “No, it’s more than that. Stephanie has no idea what she’s talking about. I’m not addicted to Jesse, I just think I’ve always been in love with him.”

I took a breath and felt the cold winter air stab me in the lungs. With a shake of my shoulders, I unlocked the store and turned off the alarm. The store was dimly lit with only one fluorescent light bulb buzzing above my head. Though some would find the whole atmosphere a bit eerie, I found it comforting. It was nice to get away and be alone with my thoughts.

Peeling off my coat, I walked up to the cash wrap and threw my purse on top of the counter. As I began turning on the computers, something caught my eye. One of the cabinets, which was located behind the register, was slightly ajar.

“I could have sworn I closed that when I closed last night,” I murmured, pushing it shut. Deciding I was probably imagining things, I went about my business.

My day went about as normally as one could. Jesse walked in for his shift around ten that morning and to my surprise he didn’t say one word about yesterday’s adult toy fiasco. Due to Stephanie’s urging, I was ready to put the games behind me, and seeing that Jesse didn’t mention it, I was confident that we both could find a way to move beyond my stolen kiss and the phallic toys.

My lips remained curled in a stationary smile all day as I worked. Things were looking up. Jesse even came out of The Dungeon a few times to chat with me. Maybe Stephanie was right after all. We didn’t need to resort to childish games to rekindle our friendship. All we needed was time and a mutual understanding. Things would return to normal. It just needed to naturally fall into place.

“That’ll be fifty-eight dollars and seventy-two cents, Mr. Bautista.” I grinned happily as I watched the older gentleman scribble a check. Usually, it irked me when customers didn’t use plastic—I mean, who even writes checks anymore? However, not even the lengthy check verification process I’d have to endure could shake me from my good mood.

“Raquel, can you double bag the detergent? Last time I came here, the bag broke about two steps into my driveway,” the man asked with a slight frown on his face.

“Oh, I’m sorry about that!” I reached in front of me only to realize I was down to my last bag. After ripping the crinkly brown plastic from the metal hook, I bagged his item and continued to wait for a finished check. After a few moments of just standing there staring at him, I grew tired of his long handed script (seriously, who writes pseudo-calligraphy on checks?) and decided to refill the bag holder. Though it’s technically against company policy to turn your back on a customer, I did just that and knelt down to face the little cabinet that housed our reserves. Incidentally, the same one I had left open the night before.

The cabinet is notorious for being hard to open, so in preparation, I wrapped my fingers against the brass handle, ready to give it a hard tug. To my surprise, the cabinet not only opened with little difficulty, but also came bearing gifts.

“Ahhh!” I screamed, falling back onto my ass. I couldn’t lift my arms quick enough to shield me from dildos, anal beads, and oh my, was that a butt plug? Soon I found myself drowning inside numerous dolphins and double headers. Shocked would not even begin to describe how I felt as I tried to dig myself out of the pile. Cheeks red, I finally pawed my way out, unsure of where to look. As I straightened myself, a lone cock ring fell from the collar of my flannel shirt, rolling to a stop right in front of Mr. Bautista’s hand.

“I have never!” Mr. Bautista eyes blazed angrily. He slammed his checkbook shut and shook his head with disgust. “I am not about to spend my money in a store that sells that kind of filth.”

“But—”

“Your father will be hearing about this. I’m sure he doesn’t know that his daughter runs a sex operation while he’s gone, does he?”

“No! It’s not like that. You see—”

“Disgusting!” The elderly man turned away faster than I have ever seen someone his age move. He picked up his fuzzy winter hat from the counter and jammed it on top of his head as he stomped away, muttering under his breath.

I gaped after him, only noticing his abandoned groceries after he had cleared his way through the store. “But, but—”

“Well, hello.” The next customer in line happened to be a man about my age who seemed quite enamored with the toys on the floor. He licked his thick lips and leaned over the counter, narrowing his eyes at me. I watched in disbelief as he bit his bottom lip and wagged his eyebrows quickly. “Never would I have known that a store like this could hold so many sexy secrets.”

I felt my skin crawl as his eyes worked up and down my body. Furious, I grabbed the microphone to the intercom and screamed, “JESSE!”

The speakers whistled from the feedback, causing many customers to yelp in surprise and cover their ears. I was beyond the point of caring.

The pervert in line pulled back his mouth, showcasing his bottom teeth. With a tiny “Eep,’ he began backing away from the counter, leaving his items behind. Soon he broke into a run and left the store.

That made two missed sales.

It took a good minute before BFF came strolling out of The Dungeon. I had no idea what took him so long, but I doubted it was because he was too scared to face me. The pride on his face and the little hop in his step could attest to that.

The little silver chain connected to the wallet in his pocket swung with each deliberate step he took. It reminded me of those desk toys with the swinging balls, and freaking hell did I want to swing at his balls.

“Hey, boss. You wanted to see me?” The smile on his face was a mix of arrogance and, if I wasn’t seeing things incorrectly, possibly fear.

Good. Fear me.

Realizing that a few customers were looking our way, I tried to save face and tried desperately to calm myself. Unfortunately it didn’t work. My chest rose and fell with each short breath I took. When I felt my body tremble slightly, I forced myself to ask, “What the hell is your problem?”

“What?” he asked innocently.

I reached towards the floor and grabbed the first thing I could reach, which happened to be a male flesh light, and began waving it in front of his face. “What the fuck are these?”

He crossed his arms and grinned. “Oh, come on. I’m sure you know what those are.”

“Jesse, I’m not kidding! You cost me—” I paused and calculated the cost of the pervert’s items—dental floss, chocolate chip cookies and a kitty litter to be exact—plus Mr. Bautista’s groceries, “Around seventy-nine dollars and forty-eight cents because of your bullshit!”

His eyes widened in awe. “Wow! Did you ever think of becoming a contestant on one of those gameshows?”

“Jesse, I’m serious!”

“I am too.” He laughed.

Groaning, I picked up the cock ring and threw it at his face. I watched with glee as it bounced off his nose and landed on top of his steel toe boots.

“Hey!” He jumped back as if a bat had just flown at him.

“Hey, nothing!” I was trying hard to keep my voice down, but was miserably failing. “What the fuck is the matter with you? First you pretend I don’t exist—”

“I never pretended that!”

“—and now you’re set on messing with me. Do you just like seeing me get in trouble?”

The smile on his face faded away. “Of course not.”

“Then what’s the deal? Do you know what shit I’ll be in when my parents hear about this?”

“You didn’t seem too worried about getting in trouble yesterday.”

“That was different!” I exclaimed.

“How?” He gestured towards the pile of goodies. “What I see down there is a bunch of dicks, same as yesterday.”

“The only dick I’m seeing right now is you.” I began shaking in rage. My parents were going to kill me. From day one, Rossi’s Novelties prided itself in being a family establishment. Once they hear about everything that went down….well, I guess I’d be living proof that yes, a person can get fired from a family business.

The tips of Jesse’s ears turned pink. I wouldn’t be surprised if smoke began to billow from his ear drums. In a calculated tone, he asked slowly, “What is the difference between what I did today and what you did yesterday?”

“What I did yesterday didn’t result in me losing two sales. It also didn’t anger anybody.”

“Oh, so it’s okay if we make money, right?” He shook his head and snorted. “What did I tell you before about being privileged?”

“That’s not fair and you know it.” I was on the verge of breaking down and felt my nose pricking with pain. I was unlucky in regard to my uncanny ability to burst into tears whenever I was angry or nervous. At that moment I was both. “You embarrassed me and you embarrassed the store.”

Jesse looked horrified as he watched tears slide down my cheeks. He moved forward and then moved back again, looking as if he were doing an old swing dance. “Rocky—”

“No,” I interrupted, wiping my nose with the back of my hand. “Let me finish. It’s not just about this bullshit prank, it’s about the fact that I don’t get you anymore. I don’t understand you. One minute you’re telling me one thing then the next you’re acting as if we’ve been friends all along.”

He sighed and bowed his head. “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean for you to find that stuff during business hours. I thought you’d see that the cabinet was open when you came in this morning and find it before customers came. That’s why I kept on coming up here. I thought you were just that good at hiding your feelings and didn’t want to admit I got you.”

His explanation was supposed to make me feel better, but it only made me feel worse. So he only came to chat to see if I had fallen victim to his prank?

I shook my head. “Why the prank? We never used to prank each other before. You know how much I hate that shit.”

“Yeah…Honestly, yesterday was fun. I knew we were busting each other’s balls—”

“I’m not one of the guys, Jesse.”

“—and I don’t know, I always found business to be more fun when you can joke around with one another. It’s what I do with my employees…err….um, I mean back at Charleston.”

“Your employees?” I repeated in confusion.

Jesse quickly cut me off. “What I’m saying is, I didn’t mean any harm by it. Really. I’m truly sorry.”

“That’s the thing, Jesse. How can I even know if anything you say is sincere? I don’t know a thing about you.”

“That’s not true.” His voice sounded deeper for some reason.

“Oh, yeah, you’re right.” I gritted my teeth and ground out, “You still like getting me into trouble, don’t you? Well, you know something? You’re right. I never had a bad bone in my body to begin with. Guess I was just that dumb girl trying to pretend to be something she’s not, and you know what? I’m obviously still dumb now.”

“Hey, what are you guys—whoa! Now that would be one interesting commercial.” As if appearing out of nowhere, Ethan stepped up beside the counter and peered at the pile of toys. He scratched the top of his perfectly styled head and looked at me questioningly. “Um, new overstock?”

I shut my eyes, not even wanting to answer. Of course Ethan would show up right then. Why wouldn’t he?

Jesse cleared his throat and interjected. “It was actually a mix up in shipment. The sex shop at the edge of town was supposed to get it.”

I was sure Ethan wasn’t going to buy it. There wasn’t even a sex shop at the edge of town—

“Oh, Hard Shack down Windsor?” Ethan offered, never tearing his eyes away from the toys.

I looked at him in surprise. Wow, you think you know someone…

Jesse didn’t respond and pushed passed Ethan, hitting his shoulder and almost knocking him down. “Anyway, got to get back to work and box these up. They’re probably looking for them.”

Ethan rubbed at his shoulder and frowned. “Uh, okay.” He caught my eye and shook his head as if to say, ‘what a weirdo.’

I didn’t know if it irked me more that Ethan assumed I could read his mind or the fact that I really could. I sighed. “What are you doing here?”

He took a step forward, then realizing Jesse was knelt down at my feet chucking dildos into a box, he motioned to me. With an internal groan, I stepped around Jesse, purposely kneeing him the back.

“What?” I asked in exhaustion.

Ethan frowned. Even looking troubled, he was one of the most handsome men I’d ever seen. Why oh why couldn’t I feel that jolt of excitement with him? “I was hoping you’d be happy I was back in town early.”