Two Spirit Ranch (2 page)

Tom. He had chestnut brown hair and maintained his husky physique by playing rugby on weekends. It was fireworks between them from the get go. She felt an intense passion that she had never encountered before. Tom also had proven one of her deepest fears that she harbored to be false--that she wouldn't find a man who loved her for exactly who she was. In fact, they had made love earlier that morning and she was finally, truly, letting herself be open and vulnerable to this man, after so many hardships getting to where she was.

“Hi,” Tom’s deep voice came from behind her as his strong hand briefly touched her lithe shoulder. She always liked his touch—firm and confident, yet soft and tender. He smiled. Damn, he had a cute smile. And he wore his Armani suit, not the other way around.

The waiter dropped off a bottle of Chateau Margaux. Their usual. Sometimes the usual was quite comforting.  Humans like predictability a professor once told her.

“How are you, sweetie?” she asked, reaching across the table and placing her hand on top of his.

“Fine,” he answered, sounding a little short.  “How are you?”

“It's been a crazy day,” she said, readying herself to tell him the news about Uncle Bud, but before she could the waiter appeared and poured them each a glass of the Chateau Margaux.  Tom startled her by practically guzzling down his glass and then telling the waiter they'd need a few minutes to decide on dinner.

“Are you okay, Tom?” she asked momentarily forgetting about her own troubles and feeling worried about him. He seemed different in a way tonight. She couldn’t quite place it. It was a certain look in is eyes. He was there and not there at the same time. The more she thought about it he had been a little distant the past few days, not as talkative, a little more reserved.  Terri bit into one of the warm bread rolls dipped into balsamic vinegar and olive oil when Tom spoke.

He looked at her earnestly with a puzzling expression that was unfamiliar to Terri. He inhaled and paused before speaking. “Terri, I just wanted to tell you that I’m really fond of you and I respect you, but I’m going to have to let you go. If I’m going to move up in the firm, I don’t think having a girlfriend, um, like you would be acceptable to the partners.”

“
Like me
? What do you mean? You’re dumping me?” Terri asked incredulously, almost choking on the bread in her throat.

“People at the office have been...” he said, glancing around the room as if they may be spied on.

“Have been what, Tom?” she said, her stomach turned into knots and the wine suddenly tasted like vinegar.

“Talking.  After the newspaper article today, some of the partners at the firm recognized your picture and…”

Terri could feel her face flush with anger.  After all this time, now her background was suddenly an issue for him.

“So, you're embarrassed by having a girlfriend who's transgendered?” she finally said, the words almost getting stuck in her throat.  “I was honest from you from the very beginning, and you said you didn't have a problem with it.”

She watched Tom fidget in his seat.

“I’m giving you your freedom,” Tom said, looking at her, while her eyes reddened. “We’ve had a wonderful year, but I’m ready to move on. I might run for office someday and though people are more open minded here in New York, I don’t think someone like you would be...accepted in America’s heartland.”

“You’re dumping me of what Midwesterners might think? Because an article about my
pro bono
work
for the Transgendered Community Center of New York appeared in the paper?” she asked. “Or is it because you're not man enough to be honest with people about who you've been dating?”

“Please, lower your voice, Terri. People are staring,” Tom hushed her, his eyes scanning the crowded restaurant. “Listen, I had a great time. The sex was great. Awesome, actually.”

His words reducing their whole relationship to
sex
felt like a knife in her heart.  She sucked in her breath for a moment and tried to steady herself.  She met a lot of men who wanted to treat her like an object, but not a person. To satisfy some fetish. This
couldn't
be happening.  How could she have possibly read the entire situation so wrong?

“You are a beautiful person, inside and out, but I have to think about my future…,” Tom said, his voice trailing off.

“Stop!” she said, interrupting him in midsentence.  “I can't believe you're doing this to me.  I thought we were serious and maybe, just maybe, I thought we were headed towards marriage.  You told me over and over that the fact I was born in the wrong body made no difference to you!”

Tom stared down at his lap avoiding her eyes, but she began to notice that others in the restaurant were now paying attention to the scene.  She hadn't realized how loud her voice had become in anger.

“I'm sorry, Terri.  Sometimes things change. Life is unpredictable sometimes,” Tom said meekly and still staring down into his lap.

“Things change,” Terri muttered.  “That's all you can say?  I feel like I never even knew you. Now I know what kind of man you really are, Tom. Thank you. ”

“So, are we ready to order?” the waiter asked, appearing out of nowhere and seemingly oblivious to the unfolding drama.

“I think we're through here,” Terri said, standing up and tossing her cloth napkin on the table.  “The
gentleman
will get the bill.”

She marched out of the restaurant not looking back but unable now to hold back the torrent of tears as they streamed down her face.  The two people she thought she could count on in this world, her uncle and her boyfriend, had been snapped away from her in one quick day. Two people she loved.

Terri vainly tried to hail a cab as a sudden summer rain started permeating the air. Unable to get a taxi, Terri just ran down the street not sure where she was going, just wanting to go--go anywhere--to vainly escape the feelings inside of her. She just ran, focusing on her breath and the pain in her feet. She didn’t notice people on the sidewalk stopping to stare at this obviously upset woman racing down the street. She was so unaware; she didn’t notice the rain mixed with the tears streaming down her face.

Terri kept running. For two weeks, she dove into her work at the law firm and the community center just keeping busy, trying to forget.

Finally, when Martin caught her in her office one afternoon, her back to the door, and crying he placed a hand on her shoulder and said, “Terri, maybe you really should take that leave of absence.  It would do you good.  You've been through a lot.”

She nodded in agreement.  How could she expect to take care of clients, both the paying ones and her work at the community center, if she didn't take care of herself? 

“Maybe I should take a little time.  Maybe go to my uncle's ranch in Montana and decide what to do with the property.”

“I think that sounds like a perfect idea.  I'll smooth over the request with the other partners.  Don't worry about it. Maybe you need a change of scenery to give you a new perspective on things.”

“Thank you, Martin,” Terri said, already feeling a little better at the thought of putting some space between herself and Manhattan.

Three days later, Terri flew to Billings, Montana. She rented a car and headed to the small town where Uncle Bud had moved to.  It was such a blur; she didn’t notice she was speeding down the highway past the sign that read “Clearview, Montana, population 797.”

She tried vainly to hold back the continuing thoughts of Tom and her heartbreak while driving.   She cranked up the stereo and played her favorite Bon Jovi CDs from the 80s and drove her Mini Cooper rental down the seemingly endless Montana road. But it was to no avail.  This particular stretch of road out of Billings was long and flat, so her mind wandered back to the reason for her escape. Escape. An escape from her memories. An escape from New York. And especially an escape from herself.  But then she remembered that she knew better than anyone there was no way anyone could out run their own self.  Sooner or later, you had to face that reflection in the mirror and its truth.

Sheriff Jake Collins was enjoying another peaceful day in Clearview, Montana, a small town outside of Billings. Though he lived in Montana all his life, the area’s beauty never ceased to amaze him. The land was timeless and yet alive with history. He didn’t understand why his cousin Carl wanted to erase all this natural beauty with his huge condo and planned community development proposal. When Jake went to the big city, all he could remember were the generic box stores and main streets lined with chain restaurants and antsy teenagers having parking lot parties. He didn’t want Clearview turned into that. Here people still all knew each other, and there was a real community. It was a simpler life and slower pace but there are some things of value you can’t put a price tag on.

Suddenly, he clocked a little Mini Cooper whizzing by erratically and going fifteen miles over the speed limit.

“What the…? Uh, oh. Time to earn your paycheck today, Jake,” he muttered to himself turning on the siren and following the car into town. “Not on my watch, you don’t, buddy.”

            The siren’s wail pierced the dry air and dissipated into the vast Yellowstone Valley.

Terri awoke from her reverie. She looked at her rearview mirror and wiped away the tears from her reddened eyes.

Oh, no
, she thought.
Just what I needed.
Bad things always happen in threes. First Uncle Bud. Then Tom. And now being pursued by a sheriff’s patrol car. She pulled over, trying to regain her composure. All she could see were the flashing lights in the rear view mirror, obscuring her view of the officer wearing intimidating mirrored sunglasses steadily approaching her rental.

Nice body she thought to herself. For a country guy.  He certainly filled out his officer's uniform quite well.

He had dark hair and a handsomeness like the silver screen stars of the past. He looked comfortable in his skin which, to Terri, was quite intriguing.

“License and registration, please,” said the officer. Terri eyed his name tag, “COLLINS.” His voice was pure country--deep, slow and deliberate.

“I’m sorry, Officer…er, Collins. I’m sorry, is my taillight out?” she asked, smiling coyly while opening her Coach wallet to hand over the license.

“No ma’am. Just speeding down the road like a bat out of hell, and it’s sheriff.  Sheriff Collins.” He looked at her driver’s license photo and then at her. It wasn’t a bad photo. She worked the Department of Motor Vehicles employee to take a few extra shots during a slow shift to increase her chance of a cute photo.

“Well, Miss Lawson, you sure are long ways from New York but ‘round these parts there is a thing called the speed limit,” the sheriff said while handing back the license.

“Sorry, Sheriff. It won’t happen again.  I don’t want to bore you, but it’s been a
really
rough few weeks for me,” she said, sighing audibly.

“Well, I’m sorry things aren’t going your way, ma’am, but the speed limit is the same on good days and bad ones.” Jake said.  He'd heard every sob story in the book during his years of pulling people over.  “We have a saying ‘round these parts. ‘If you get thrown from a horse, you have to get up and get back on, unless you landed on a cactus…”

“And then what happens?” Terri asked, bemused at the imagery despite herself.

“Well, then you have to roll around and scream in pain,” the sheriff smiled while Terri rolled her eyes. “But all kidding aside, please obey the speed limits.”

“Okay, sir. I’m sorry.”

 Jake looked down at the ground and kicked a little dirt off his shoes.  He usually did not hesitate.  By now, the ticket book should be out, and his pen scribbling furiously.  Instead, he found himself enchanted by this woman's smile.  She was a helluva looker that was for sure.  In her fancy clothes, she was the perfect image of a city lady.  He wondered what had brought her to these parts.  He had caught the rental car plates on the vehicle earlier.  Rarely, did he ever come across someone so strikingly beautiful on this stretch of highway.

“If you promise to slow down, maybe I can let you go with a warning.”

She gave him that dazzling smile again, the kind Jake thought could light up a whole room, and said, “Oh, my goodness.  Thank you so much, Sheriff.  I promise to slow down.  Cross my heart.”

She even made the little hand gesture across her chest, and Jake couldn't help but chuckle.

“You're welcome” he replied, catching just the slightest glimpse of cleavage and feeling a little embarrassed about it like a schoolboy.

“May I ask your name?” she asked.

“Jake. Jake Collins. Sherriff of Clearwater,” he said proudly.

“Nice to meet you, Jake. I’m Terri.” She held out her French manicured hand to the Jake, which he shook firmly.

“Where are you headed to, Miss Terri?” he asked.

“Oh, just Terri, please. My Uncle Bud moved out here and bought a ranch years ago. He passed away, and now I’m handling his estate,” she said, a tear coming to her eye thinking about him.

“Oh, you must mean Bud Harley? We all know each other around these parts.  I’m sorry for your loss, Miss Lawson. I knew your uncle well.  Good man. I actually worked for him a couple of summers during high school. Funny, he never mentioned a niece…,” he said.

Terri quickly changed the subject. “Um, I’ve had a long day, and I’m desperate to get to the powder room.  Can you tell me the quickest way to get to the ranch house? Again, I’m sorry for speeding. I didn’t mean to harm anyone,” Terry confessed.

“Actually, it’d be easier if you followed me. The roads can be a bit confusing for the uninitiated. Do you mind a police escort?” Jake asked.

With everything from the past two weeks, Terri was open for anything. “Oh, alright. Why not?” She was beginning to understand why her Uncle Bud loved Montana so much.

Chapter 2

            Terri dutifully followed the sheriff’s car down meandering roads with hardly any signage. The sun was setting and she said a silent prayer. She easily imagined how it could’ve turned out differently if she had gotten lost on these desolate roads. Stranded. No gas. Lost. Looking crazy. Eaten by coyotes. That’s how her city mind worked sometimes.  And her mind was also on the fine man in front of her. Sheriff Jake Collins was a hottie, she thought.  But if she learned anything from her relationship from Tom was that heartbreak can come in handsome packages.