Two Women (19 page)

Susan looked better than Barry had thought she would. She was slimmer and that emphasised her two major attractions. Barry was quite happy to let Joey take the piss, he knew he would have the last laugh.

Susan watched her mother as she observed the two of them getting acquainted after so long and hoped against hope that Barry would not do or say anything to cause dissent.

He did not as yet understand the vagaries of McNamara family life. Joey could change in a split second and then Barry would be unceremoniously thrown from the flat. Things like that had happened before and Susan was hoping against hope they would not happen today.

 

‘Ain’t he a lovely little fella, June?’

Ivy’s voice was wistful and June snorted.

‘He’s just like Joey, but she won’t see that, silly whore that she is.’

She walked into the kitchen. Despite herself she was annoyed with her daughter. Susan had got herself a handful, as the East Enders would say, and June herself wished she was young enough to be embarking on life once more. At least, she wished she was younger while knowing exactly what she knew now. Susan’s bright eyes and happy expression made her feel old and tired.

‘I like that young Barry, I think he’s a nice boy. Too good for that madam. Now if it was Debbie, I could understand it.’

‘Debbie, love her heart, is lacking in the two things that make Susan interesting to all men. And I don’t have to spell out what they are, do I?’

Ivy nodded sagely.

‘Down her knees after the first kid, then round her ankles after the second. You mark my words.’

This cheered June up and she laughed.

‘He’d better make the most of them, girl, before he has to chase the fuckers round the bed!’

It did not occur to either of them that Susan was fourteen years old and should not even have been contemplating sex, babies or anything else.

They both knew the score. It was the way they all lived and it would never change as far as they could see. Sex kept their world going, kept them interested and kept them amused. It was free, it felt good, and at times it gave a woman great power.

Because Susan looked older they treated her as an adult. What she had seen and witnessed all her life made her seem like an ancient in comparison with most of her peers. Neither woman saw anything wrong in how they behaved towards the girls or around them. As far as they were concerned Susan and Debbie were already women. Susan was expected to learn earlier because she was so well developed. It did not occur to either of them that her being so well developed at such a young age might be a good reason to protect her from men. They saw it as a natural progression. You grew up, you got a body and you used it, which was exactly what they had both done. They did not think in terms of emotional development, that was beyond their comprehension.

The girl talked as they did, knew what they knew, because they talked about and let her see things that most people would hide from their children. Therefore they’d assumed Susan must understand it all, which she didn’t. She let Barry do what he did because that was how she would keep him. That was what she had been taught all her life.

She did not even expect his fidelity, that was not something within her experience.

As the women made the meal they chatted about past times and reminisced about their respective youths. Susan was just another victim of careless people. People who lived careless lives.

 

In Susan’s bedroom Barry was trying to kiss her and she was nervous about her father.

‘Come on, Susan, I didn’t go through all this for nothing, girl.’

His Scots accent sounded sexy to her as did everything he said.

‘Me dad’s only outside the door, he’d go mad if he came in.’

Barry grinned.

‘He ain’t coming in here, lassie. Now will you pull your top out of your skirt before I have to go and find someone more available?’

The words were said jokingly but the threat was there nevertheless. He pinched her breasts hard.

‘I’ve missed these, Susan. The other girls’ are nothing in comparison.’

She basked in the compliment.

He kissed her hard on the lips.

‘I have your father eating out of my hand so stop your worrying, girl.’

Susan kissed him back with all the feeling of a young girl in love for the first time.

Barry knew he excited her even though he also knew she got nothing from the sex. He knew Susan would never, ever like it. It was not in her nature. She expected him to be in charge and would concentrate on keeping him happy.

‘In future you’re mine, you hear what I’m telling you? No one else can come near you, right?’

He looked down into her eyes and she knew he meant her father and nodded solemnly.

‘No one else, Barry, I promise you. I ain’t like that, honestly.’

She was apologising as she would all her life with him. Telling him that her father took her whether she liked it or not and that in future she would fight him, make him fight her for it.

But that meant she would be half murdered. So she decided there and then that she would go along with them both and keep them both sweet so she could have what she really wanted.

Barry Dalston.

He was like a shining light to her, a beacon to guide her. He would not know what was happening because she would not tell him. Her father would never stop. Because he did not want to stop, she knew that.

She would do anything for Barry Dalston. To have Barry Dalston. She thought he was worth it. More than worth it. She loved him. Really, really loved him. And all because he was nice to her, was presentable and someone everyone of their age respected.

He was a Jack the lad, a villain, a lovable rogue. He was the sort all girls in her environment wanted to hook, a man before he was supposed to be a man. A bloke who looked after you just by being with you. He gave you kudos and respect.

She did not see him as a younger version of Joey, a younger criminal with a selfish streak and a vicious temper. A coward really who conned people and tried to control them by fear and intimidation.

She saw only a handsome boy who cared about her in his own way. And for Susan McNamara, that was more than enough.

As he lifted her up the wall attempting to enter her she closed her eyes and imagined they were in a nice little flat with nice furniture and nice kids.

As he pushed inside her she winced and stroked the back of his neck, a caress that seemed to spur him on because he came almost immediately. He sagged against her. She felt the warmth as his semen trickled down her legs.

Barry looked down at her and smiled. Kissing her on the lips he bit into them, making her wince, and she knew he was leaving a mark for her father, a little reminder of who she really wanted. This depressed her momentarily until, seeing her expression, he pushed her head against his chest and whispered, ‘I love you, Sue.’

Overcome with joy, she nearly shouted out with glee.

‘I love you too, Barry, more than anyone in the world.’

He poked one finger gently into her cheek.

‘You see you do, girl, or you’ll know all about it, mate.’

As he pulled away from her to tidy his clothes she watched him. He was like a god to her and she felt he really was godlike. From his broad shoulders to his gorgeous eyes, Barry was everything a young girl could want.

Especially a young girl from her background and environment. As they left the room Susan was glowing. Her face looked almost pretty and her skin was radiant with health and vitality. June noticed it as did Ivy. Joey saw the change in her at once and decided that until the time was right he would lead them both on.

This young man would collar for him, take the heat and do the real work. Joey knew that opportunities like Barry Dalston came along only once or twice in a lifetime. If it all went pear-shaped it was young Barry who would do the bird. Then Joey would groom someone else.

He smiled at the lovebirds, noticed Susan’s swollen lips and the smile disappeared. But there was plenty of time to put a spoke in there; all Joey wanted at the moment was money.

Plenty of money.

And young Barry seemed to think he could provide it. June smiled at her daughter for the first time in weeks and Susan was grateful. But only because she didn’t want Barry knowing too much about the family set up. He would in time, of course, if he had not already sussed it all out.

As Ivy put another fried egg on his plate Barry looked up and smiled at her. Then he began to tell a story about his dead father and they all laughed in the right places. Susan felt as if her heart would burst with pride as she listened to him.

For all the pain she had experienced in the last few weeks, Barry was more than worth it. She was absolutely sure of that.

After all, Susan McNamara was in love.

Chapter Ten

‘Oh, Mum, you look lovely, really lovely.’

June basked in her daughter’s praise. She was glad now that she had listened to Susan and not Debbie. The pale blue fitted suit did wonders for her figure and brought out the colour of her eyes. It was the sort of suit a real lady would wear, someone who appeared in the pages of a magazine. With it she wore a pillbox hat of the same shade with a half veil that made her look mysterious and interesting.

For the first time in her life she felt like a million dollars.

Debbie sighed.

‘Well, I preferred the trouser suit but it does look nice, Mum. You look too posh for us lot to be honest.’

June ignored the barb. Debbie was getting to be a right sarcastic little mare and it was beginning to get on her nerves.

‘You’re not wearing that, Debs, surely?’

Susan’s voice was high.

Debbie turned in front of the mirror and shrugged.

‘What’s wrong with it?’

Susan shook her head sadly.

‘What’s right with it? You look a right whore. Wear the dress I bought you. I want this day to look lovely in all me photos. Please, Debs. Just for me.’

‘Fuck off, Susan. Anyone would think no one had ever been married before. I ain’t schlepping round in a lemon cotton short-sleeved dress for no fucker. I’d never live it down. All me mates would be laughing at me.’

‘Yes, you fucking will, Debbie, or you ain’t going.’

No one was more surprised than Debbie at her mother’s words.

‘Susan’s right, that dress looks classy and you’ll wear it, lady. You’ll also get that make up off. This is a church wedding, not a fucking disco.’

Debbie sighed heavily.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a denim dress that fitted where it touched and a pair of high platform shoes. Her short fat legs were exposed to their utmost and she looked ridiculous.

Her make up was thick as usual, and inexpertly applied, too much being the order of the day. Fashion was very important to Debbie, whether the current fashion suited her or not.

‘I ain’t telling you again. Get changed and have a bath, you dirty little whore.’

Debbie was fuming now.

‘How could I have a bath with Fatty in there all morning, and then you until now?’

Susan and June laughed.

‘Come off it, Debs, washing’s never been one of your favourite pursuits, has it?’ Susan teased.

‘Why can’t you speak fucking English like everyone else?’

Debbie stormed from the room.

June sighed.

‘She’s a right ponce her, always arguing. I don’t know where she gets it from, I really don’t.’

Susan raised her eyebrows but did not answer. She wanted her wedding day to go without a hitch.

‘Your hair looks beautiful, Susan. Mind you, you always had nice hair even as a kid.’

June’s sixteen-year-old daughter turned awkwardly in the chair because of her heavy pregnancy and smiled.

‘I’m glad I had something going for me, Mum. Me boatrace left a lot to be desired.’

Today Susan’s face had been made up by a beautician and her hair had been professionally styled. It was piled on top of her head with curls all around the outside. A halo of paper flowers had been woven through for the veil to be attached, and with her skin glowing from her pregnancy she looked almost beautiful.

June stared at her.

‘Pity Barry didn’t get out of prison earlier. You’re big, girl. There’s no hiding that lump.’

Susan patted it happily.

‘I don’t really want to hide it, Mum. Barry loves it. He kisses it every day.’

Ivy came in then. She was dressed in a light green dress and coat with a straw hat and pale gloves and shoes, looking every inch the mother of the father of the bride.

‘It’s fucking roasting outside, girls! What a glorious day for a wedding. Your hair looks lovely, Susan, you look really special.’

Susan smiled at her.

‘So do you.’

She knew her grandmother was only fishing for compliments.

‘Put your fucking teeth in, Ivy, your face looks like a collapsed paddling pool.’

‘Up yours, June, I will when I’m ready. They’re killing me, these new ones. Me gums are bleeding with them.’

Ivy’s teeth were a bone of contention and everyone avoided talking about them if they could.

‘Where’s the men? Has anyone checked on them yet?’

June snorted.

‘They left here yesterday at nine in the morning, fuck knows where they are now. They’d better be ready and that Barry had better be in a fit state to say his fucking vows because it was him and his mother who pushed for a church do. Scottish Catholics in the family, Jesus wept! And him the biggest thief this side of the water. Mind you, that’s why the Bannermans like him, they’re all religious fanatics.’

Susan sighed.

‘Barry’s mum is the one who really wanted it but I did an’ all. It seems fitting somehow to do it in the eyes of God.’