Tyrant Trouble (Mudflat Magic) (36 page)

He
reached out toward me, touched my hair with his fingertips, then brushed his
hands slowly down my arms until he caught my hands in his. I hated it when he
did that. His touch was so light it sent shivers through me and raised a whole
lot of reactions I wasn't about to share with him.

His
expression changed from angry to confused, and I could see him trying to think
how to say whatever it was he wanted to say. I stepped away from him, freeing
my hands. Something in his look warned me we were on the edge of our worst
argument and I might not win it.

He
spoke slowly, watching me closely, as though he wanted to avoid angering me but
could barely contain his own distress.

“Every
other thing in this land belongs to me, every stone, every hut, every horse,
every person. But not you, Stargazer. You make your own laws. I cannot rule you
and I know it. But look on matters this way. When we are wed, you will rule
with me. You will have anything you ask for.”

Did
he think I would marry him for a castle and a crown? Did he think he could win
me with a bribe? Oh, he was right, he had certainly angered me. I had helped
him save his city and given him advice and stood by him, and he saw in me a
loyal servant, someone clever enough to be of use to him. And that made it all
right in his view to use me as easily as he used Nance. We were no more than
bargaining chips to him. He would give away Nance to an ally and he would keep
me as long as I was useful.

My
fury burned in my mind, blinding me to any caution.

“Oh
yes, marry me and then go off to battle, princeling!”

“Stargazer!
I have no choice. I cannot ignore my father's murder. This is a blood-debt.”

“So
you will fight your uncle, and if you defeat him, you will then go on to
another war with someone else. Oh lucky me, I have always wanted to be a
widow!”

“You
think I can't win?”

“I
think you can't always win.”

“I
can if I have you to advise me, and rule for me when I am away.”

“You
would leave me alone to rule your city?” I shouted at him. “You trust me that
much?”

“I
want you that much!” he shouted back.

I
stared at him, speechless. He looked equally shocked. But he did not back down.
He stood a breath away from me, his face tight with anger and glared at me,
daring me to question him.

I
had thought I was an amusement to him, company when he was bored or lonely,
someone near his own age in a castle of older guards and warriors. Also, I came
up with advice that worked.

Sure
I knew he thought me pretty and enjoyed the idea of playing protector, me
Tarzan, you Jane stuff. I thought it was a game with the usual teen male sex
drive tossed in. Stupid me.

I
saw then what I should have seen these past months, saw what Ober had seen and
what Nance had teased might be. And also, I recalled the painting on the wall
in his bedroom. I had ignored what I really didn't want to believe.

Tarvik
loved me.

He
didn't love in the same way I loved, perhaps, or he would hardly have offered a
bribe to win me, but he loved in his way, which was to see and want and attempt
to own by whatever method appeared most promising.

Our
two horoscopes popped up like instant visions. I had been too busy searching
for danger in his chart and had paid little attention to the rest of it. Now I
remembered one important bit. My moon was on the same degree of Leo as was
Tarvik's sun. All else aside, it attracted us to each other.

And
what did a barbarian do after he captured what he wanted? Oh yes, he started
right in planning his next campaign elsewhere. I could ask him, but that would
only encourage him and it really didn't matter. I knew I didn’t want to get
stuck in his world for the rest of my life.

Our
angry voices echoed in the stillness we had drawn down between us. How could I
tell him that I could not stay with him?

I
couldn't say “No, honey, sorry, it isn't you, it's me. I'm not ready to settle
down” as I would have said to a guy back home, and probably added something
stupid about hoping we could be friends forever. I could not say I'd rather
panhandle than be a ruler. He thought he offered me the highest possible honor.

But
if Tarvik didn't understand my way of thinking, I was even less up to figuring
out his. A life of ruling a people whose existence centered on killing or
capturing others would be hell for me, an imprisonment more terrible than
anything the magician had faced in the underground cell.

I
said the only thing I could. I took a deep breath to calm my voice and said,
“Let me think about this.”

“You
will have whatever you want, Stargazer. Now and forever.”

“And
Nance? Will you let Nance stay with me, whether I marry you or not?”

“Until
you wed me, Nance is my possession.”

He
wasn’t going to give an inch on that one. His stubborn mind overrode any
hesitations of his heart. He would keep his promise to me because his word was
his own law as well as the law of others. If I refused him, he would still want
me as his advisor. But he would give Nance to a man with breath like swamp
water.

As
for accepting him, out of the question and that didn't have anything at all to
do with love. He'd be easy to love and then what? If he survived his campaigns
he'd soon be like his father, murdering innocents as well as enemies, turning
into someone I would hate.

In
that moment, knowing I would never see him again, I loved Tarvik so much I had
to fight tears, bite back all the things I wanted to tell him.

As
for warning him that his next battle could be his last, I had warned Kovat.
Like his father, Tarvik would ignore me. He wanted to be a warrior.

I
traced lightly with my fingertips along his hard jaw, from gold earring to
stubborn chin, and looked carefully at him to memorize him. Lord, I loved that
face. Actually, the whole package was terrific and was nothing I wanted to walk
away from. But I had to do exactly that. I caught his face between my hands and
I kissed him, felt his warm mouth move against mine. I didn't want to pull
away. But I did.

He
stared at me, startled, his eyebrows raised, his eyes wide.

I
said, “You are probably the sweetest guy I've ever met,” because he was.

I
knew he wouldn't accept goodbye for an answer. Tell him I was leaving and he'd
toss me in a dungeon or lock me in a room with guards at the door.

Huh.
That's what I had figured the Deckos would do, find a way to control me, keep
me prisoner. But they'd have to do it in a modern city where there are
cellphones and 9-1-1 and I would have a much better chance of escaping.

No
better than the Deckos? Did I believe that? There were two big differences.
Tarvik really wanted to do the right thing. Too bad his take on right was so
different from mine. And second, Tarvik really loved me. And that laid a big
dumb guilt trip on me. Time to go before I did something stupid.

In
my mind I saw Kovat turning away from the temple courtyard gate, looking from
the back like Tarvik, the same graceful walk, the same yellow hair flaming in
the morning sun on the day when he left on his last campaign. No way could I
stay here and watch Tarvik collect battle scars and grow bitter and cruel and
follow his father's fate. I didn't want to be waiting in this cold lonely
castle when his guards returned to tell me he was dead.

With
Nance I didn’t waste time on hints since nothing less than a full explanation
would convince her to help me. As soon as I returned to the temple, I sat her
down and told her.

“He
wants to give me to that smelly old creature?” Nance screamed. “I would rather
die!”

“Let's
try to avoid that. What we have to do now is send word to Tarvik, tell him
we're closing the temple for three days of private prayer. He'll think I want
time to make a decision and he won't argue. That should get us out of here.”

“I
suppose Lor could take us to his home village,” she agreed. “He knows pathways
even the cleverest of Tarvik's scouts won't find. But I cannot believe what you
say. Are you sure Tarvik would do that, close the temple and give me to that
dreadful man?”

“Do
you think he didn't mean what he said?”

Nance
let out a shriek, bent double and pounded on her thighs with her fists. “He
did! I know! He would do that! I do not want to believe this of him, but I do!
How could I ever have cared if he lived or died? We should have gone away
earlier and let Erlan capture Tarvik! But, what of you, Stargazer? Do you leave
only for my sake? Or is it that you know you could never in a thousand
lifetimes love that wretched boy?”

Way
too complicated to explain so I said, “We don't have a thousand lifetimes. We
have three days. We better get moving.”

We
sent a temple guard with a message to Tarvik. We said we were closing the
temple for three days of prayer. Then we slipped into the stable to tell our
destination to Lor.

When
I mentioned Tarvik's plans for Nance, the old man didn't argue. He said only,
“He is not his father, that one.”

First
job, sort out what to take. That was easy because traveling light was
necessary. I didn't know how far I would have to walk, so I put on my old tee
shirt, then picked my warmest wool pants and hooded cloak and the sheepskin
boots once made for the Daughter. They were very warm and laced snugly up the
front. Gloves. Scarf to wrap around my neck.

What
else? Oh, right, back to the real world. I found my backpack, dumped everything
out, found my blue billfold. I pulled out my credit cards and driver's license
and the few rumpled bills, stuck them inside the lining of a boot, then tossed
the billfold back in the pack and kicked the pack behind the curtain.

We
left at dark.

Lor
told the guards he'd be gone for a few days because he was taking three of the
horses to do some trading. As this was something he did when nomad horse
traders were in the vicinity, the guards agreed they would tend the stables
until his return. They presumed he was traveling alone. It would not occur to
anyone that Nance and I were going with him. Not until three days passed and
Tarvik came pounding on the gate.

Lor
left in late afternoon leading the horses, and waved to the guards.

Nance
and I waited until nightfall to slip out of the stable. We hid our cloaks
beneath shabby shawls and looked like all the local women.

Lor
waited for us in the shadows beyond the last row of huts. Oh goody, time for a
horsey ride.

We
were a night and a day from the city when we reached the plateau lands and
built our first fire. Until then we rested only briefly, kept moving, ate our
meals cold. Possibly Tarvik would decide, in an impatient moment, to bang on
the temple gates despite our instructions. We needed a big head start.

The
first time I saw the plateau it had glowed with autumn, a tableland of dark
gold waves rippled by warm breezes. Nance had floated above it like a lazy sea
bird on her glider. Now moon shadows shifted on the plateau's flat face,
touching silver sparks to the frozen grasses.

Huddled
into our hooded cloaks so that even in the firelight we couldn't see each
other's faces, we bent toward the heat and ate slowly. Lor roasted potatoes in
the coals and made tea out of melted snow.

Now
that we were past returning, I had to tell Nance my plans. I couldn't leave her
without saying goodbye.

“Do
you know where Tarvik camped on that hunting trip when he found me? There was a
low wide stream and a thin stretch of forest and a clearing.”

Lor
nodded. “Aye. A bit north of here, it's a favorite hunting ground.”

“Can
you find it?”

Of
course he could and without any questions, but Nance wanted to know why we were
headed there instead of up toward the pass leading to Lor's home village.

“Nance,
you must listen to me and not argue with me because this is how it has to be. I
want you to take me to the stream. At daybreak you and Lor will head for Lor's
village. I'm going to stay and search around that stream.”

“Why
do that?”

“Because
that's how I got here and so that has to be the way to leave.”

As
I had known she would, she cried, “You cannot do that! You cannot leave me! I
will never forgive you. Even if you find a way out, it won't lead where you
think. You will end up in the land of the dead. Or if it goes to your world,
you will still be in the mountains. What do you know of living outdoors?
Nothing. You are helpless. You will die of exposure. Tell her, Lor, tell her
she cannot!”

Lor
said, “There's no world but here.”

“Where
do you think I came from? Where did the Daughter come from?”

Lor
shrugged. “Maybe there's a way in. Never heard of a way out except for the
dead.”

“Roads
go both ways, Lor.”

“If
that were true, the warlords of Thunder would have gone out long ago and
overrun your land,” Nance stormed.

“I
don't have a choice. I can't stay here.”

“You
would rather die than stay with us?”

“I'll
miss you, Nance. But you can have a life with Lor's people. I can't. This isn't
my world.”

“You
are like Tarvik!” she cried. “You are cruel and stubborn and wicked and you do
not care for me at all!”

She
fell asleep angry and I thought in the morning she would argue again, but she
surprised me. She moved silently around the camp, tying bundles to the horses,
a small lonely figure beneath her hooded cape. When she returned to the fire to
join Lor and me at a breakfast of tea and rice, her face showed a night of
weeping. Her eyelids were puffed, her pale skin mottled.

“Stargazer,”
she said, her voice trembling but soft, “I have thought about it. We will take
you to the stream. If the gods mean for you to leave us, then you will find the
way out. If they don't, then you will stay with us.”