Ultimate Baseball Road Trip (79 page)

3535 North Clark St.

www.gooseisland.com/pages/wrigleyville_brewpub/66.php

Located directly across from Sluggers, this local microbrewery abides by the slogan “Get Goosed!”

The Island is worth a visit if for no other reason than to check out the first-floor mural that depicts a number of all-time statistical leaders standing side by side: Hank Aaron, Joe Jackson, Babe Ruth, and many others.

3740 Clark St.

For bohemian Cubs fans or simply those tired of drinking out of plastic cups, we recommend the Ginger Man Tavern. While not a sports bar, this is a cool place for those wishing to avoid the ball game crowd, and a favorite hangout of Kevin’s friend Paul who served as our tour guide during one of our Windy City stays.

3216 North Sheffield Ave.

www.tradertodd.com/

Check out this friendly place, just try not to get lost in the side stories.

First, everything inside the bar is for sale, from the assorted neon beer signs, to the mirrors, to the arcade games. Second, the owner personally mobilized fans in the days leading up to the near strike of 2002 and continues to forward fan-mail to the commissioner as he receives it. Third, this is one of Chicago’s premier karaoke clubs. And finally, this is your best bet in Wrigleyville to trade barbs with a bona fide Chicago-based movie star. Don Gibb, who played Ogre in
Revenge of the Nerds,
is part of the management team. He has his own brew, Ogre Beer, on tap for patrons to try.

3530 North Clark St.

www.wildharemusic.com/

The Hare’s a swinging reggae bar. You dig, mon?

Sure, it’s a bit cramped on the concourses beneath the stands. And parts of it look a bit dingy. And the seats at many newer parks all face in the direction of home plate and are not obstructed by support poles. But if they ever tear this place down, they’ll be making a huge mistake and we’ll be among those who chain ourselves to the marquee in the hours before the wrecking ball is set to descend. It really is perfect, not despite these imperfections, but because of them. It’s an old-time ballyard. So sit back and enjoy.

You know you’re at a ballpark with limited foul territory when the bullpen mounds, along the right and left-field lines, actually spill into fair territory. Take a look at the white chalk and you’ll see that a sizable portion of fair territory rises to accommodate the bumps. Curved foul lines—those will definitely will be a determining factor in a life-or-death Cubs game someday. Here’s hoping the ball bounces the home team’s way.

Though its power alleys are rather shallow, Wrigley plays rather deep down the lines, at 355 feet to the left-field pole and 353 feet to the poll in right. Flags honoring the retired numbers of Ernie Banks (No. 14), Ron Santo (No. 10), and Ferguson Jenkins (No. 31) fly atop the left-field pole and flags for Billy Williams (No. 26), Ryne Sandberg (No. 23), and Greg Maddux (No. 31) fly on the pole in right.

Kevin:
Have I had one too many Old Styles or am I seeing double?

Josh:
Your vision is unimpaired my only slightly inebriated friend.

Kevin:
But there’s a 31 on both poles.

Josh:
I guess the Cubs were a bit late when it came to honoring Fergie.

Flagpoles stand atop the scoreboard ranking the Major League teams in the six divisions according to place in the standings. Variations of this feature have since appeared at other stadiums but to our knowledge, this is where the practice began.

Josh:
Looks like the Mariners are still at the bottom of the AL West.

Kevin:
You already told me that this morning when you logged onto ESPN.com.

Let us begin by saying that our hearts go out to Cubs fan Steve Bartman, who somehow became the unintentional “goat” of the 2003 NLCS when he did what just about 99 percent of red-blooded American males would do when a pop-up came his way at a ballgame. Rather than letting it fall on his head or hoping a fielder would come along to reach into the stands and catch it before it did, he tried to catch it.

Unfortunately, Chicago left fielder Moises Alou probably would have caught the foul pop to bring the Cubs, who were nursing a 3-0 lead against the Marlins at the time, within four outs of a trip to the World Series. Instead, the Marlins’ Luis Castillo was allowed to return to the plate and he walked. Then the Marlins scored eight runs and won Game 6 going away. They won Game 7 too.

A lot happened after the Bartman play to thwart the Cubs’ hopes—a lot that was not his fault. We don’t think he should be viewed as the anti-Christ or even the anti-Maier (Jeffrey, that is). The Cubs organization spoke up in his defense and several of the Cubs players did too. But a certain percentage of fans made him a lightning rod for their frustration. And some still hold a grudge.

Today, Wrigley pilgrims often visit the fateful seat in which Mr. Bartman was sitting when the fateful incident occurred. It’s Seat 113 in Row 4 of Aisle 4.

Kevin:
Looks just like any other seat.

Josh:
I would
not
want to sit there. Not for a single inning.

Kevin:
Why not?

Josh:
Some of that bad mojo might rub off.

Concerning the green growth on the outfield wall, the house rules are simple enough. If a ball goes into it and comes out, it’s in play. If it goes in and disappears it’s a ground-rule double.

The Wrigley food is unexceptional. But you’re visiting for the amazing old-time experience, and the neighborhood around the park is teeming with places to eat and drink, so this is nothing to get upset about.

Vienna Beef has been churning out tube steak in Chicago since 1894. And Gonnella Baking Company, which makes the poppy seed rolls the dogs come on, has been around even longer. We found our dogs superb in just about every way and applaud the Cubs for switching back to Vienna in 2011 after a thirty-year baseball hiatus for the iconic Chicago company during which time the rather bland Sara Lee Ballpark Frank was the official wiener of Wrigley Field.

We should mention that there are also Hebrew National dogs and bison dogs available at most stands for those concerned about keeping it Kosher or low in cholesterol. Your best bet at Wrigley, really, is to have a dog or three and to eschew the temptation to be much more adventurous than that.

The
Big Slugger Nachos,
which weigh two pounds and come served in a souvenir helmet, are a cut above the usual ballpark chips. We also liked the offerings at the Italian Hot Spots stand behind Aisle 112. Here, fans find an
Italian Beef and Sausage Combo
sandwich that just might take a few years off your life and is messy as hell but is pretty tasty. If that sounds like too much to handle, the dripping Italian Beef sandwich might be more your speed.

The
Foot-long Brat
at Big Dawgs also more than holds its own.

Kevin:
At this point, my arteries are just begging me to stop.

Josh:
Then why are you still eating it?

Kevin:
I owe it to our readers.

Josh:
You owe them a bite. You don’t have to finish.

Kevin:
Buy your own brat, I’m not sharing.

The
Chicken Wings
from the 50/Fifty Restaurant of Chicago are better than the usual ballpark chicken. The
pizza,
which we recommend, comes courtesy of D’Agostino’s, which opened its first Chicago location not far from the park in 1968. In 2011, it replaced Connie’s Pizza as the official slice of Wrigley Field. But don’t worry ye Connie disciples, you can still get a slice of Connie’s at U.S. Cellular Field while you’re in town.

When you’re finally ready to wash down all the grease and calories, we suggest a
Frosty Malt,
a frozen treat that you eat with a wooden spoon.

Two words: Old Style. We found people of all ages, shapes, and sizes drinking this stuff. So reach for the beer your grandfather loved—or perhaps your grandmother—and enjoy!

As mentioned above, for the optimum Wrigley experience, bleacher seats are in order. It’s all about having a good time. Whether the home team wins or loses, fans enjoy the afternoon sun and have entirely too much to drink. Maybe the reason the outcome doesn’t seem so important is that Wrigley is usually full of folks who skipped work to spend an afternoon at the game. And like they say, a bad day at the ballpark beats a good day in the office.

Josh:
I’m a ballpark writer. This
is
my office.

Kevin:
You lucky son of a bitch. Oh wait, it’s my office too!

Wrigley is where “throwing back” home run balls by the opposing team began. And though we love the tradition, this is where we feel it should remain. If you’re sitting in the bleachers and catch a dinger hit by the visitors, you have only two options. One: Throw it onto the field before the crowd turns violent. Or two: Tuck it into your pants and run for the ballpark gates. P.S.: You won’t make it to the ballpark gates, at least not with your pants.

Josh:
If I catch a ball, I’m keepin’ it.

Kevin:
And I don’t know you.

In a tradition started by Harry Caray in 1982 after having similarly led the South Side crowds during his stint at Comiskey Park, a different guest leads fans in singing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” during the seventh-inning stretch each day. Cubs Hall of Famers have played the role of maestro as have celebrities from all walks of American pop culture.

Kevin:
My pick for worst-ever is Mr. T.

Josh:
I think Nancy Kerrigan did a pretty sad job of it.

Kevin:
Ozzy Osbourne didn’t even know what song he was supposed to sing.

Josh:
When they ask us, we’ll know we’ve
arrived
.

Kevin:
Yeah, someday.

Josh:
How ’bout it, Cubbies?

Kevin:
We’ve had practice harmonizing along with the Pogues on our long rides together.

Josh:
Yeah, we’ll sing it MacGowan-style.

Kevin:
Most of the world can sing better than Shane.

Wrigley Field is home to one of the most famous super-fans in baseball, the fully uniformed Ronnie “Woo Woo” Wickers. Ronnie is so well known and well regarded that when Cubs rookies get called up to the bigs, they ask for autographs. Spend five seconds with Ronnie and you’ll understand where he got his nickname. His distinctive high-pitched “woo” can be heard eighty-one games a year, resonating in the bleachers and in the streets surrounding the ballpark. The subject of documentary films and magazine articles, Ronnie gets into Wrigley for free. People shake his hand, ask him to pose for pictures, and ask him to “woo” into smartphones for friends to hear back home.