Unattainable (13 page)

“
Brothers,” he said
gruffly, nodding toward Cage and Cox, then Ripper. He stopped next
to Deuce and placed his hand on the man’s shoulder. “Prez,” he
said, his voice less stony, his face suddenly full of emotion and
something else I couldn’t quite place.

I knew there was deep history there.
Deuce had scooped Hawk off the streets decades ago, the same as he
had with Cox, Ripper, and Dirty, and the bond between them all was
more of a father/son one than Deuce had with his own
son.

I glanced at Cage, watched him see the
silent exchange of respect between the two men, watched him try to
steel his expression before he let the hurt show, but I’d known him
too long. I had always had my eyes on him and knew every nuance of
his face, what every twitch or appearing line meant.

I was still staring at Cage the way I’d
always stared at him, everyone else forgotten, when a pair of thick
fingers snapped in front of my face. I blinked, my eyes refocused,
and found everyone around the table staring back at me, Cage
included. And Danny was smirking at me. Fucking bitch.

My face hot with embarrassment, I
glanced up to the owner of the fingers.

“
How’s your mom?” Hawk
asked while scooping Christopher off the chair and into his
arms.

“
None of your business,” I
snapped. Hawk’s eyes hardened.

“
Tegen,” he said quietly,
his tone hard. “I get it, baby, I do. You fuckin’ hate me, you hate
us all, and I don’t blame you. If that was my mama who’d gotten
shot, I’d be hatin’ on everyone too, but she’s the mother of my son
and I gotta right to know how the fuck she’s doin’.”

I reacted. Jumped up, shoved my plate
forward, pushed my chair backward, and got up in Hawk’s personal
space. I didn’t even come close to his height or stature but I’d
already been on the verge of a nervous breakdown before he’d shown
up, and Hawk had only added fuel to the burning fire.

“
Fuck you!” I spat. “You
ruined her! You ruined me! My own mother doesn’t even know who I
am!”

In Hawk’s arms, Christopher’s face fell
and his bottom lip quivered but there was no stopping me once I
started. Not even I knew how to accomplish that.

“
Tegen!” Deuce
bellowed.

“
You and Jase!” I
screamed, ignoring Deuce and shoving my finger into Hawk’s hard
chest. “You both destroyed her, along with this fucking club full
of drug dealers and murderers!”

Christopher burst into tears, followed
closely by Harley, and feeling like shit, damn near tears myself, I
spun away from Hawk and ran from the room into the foyer, pausing
while I desperately tried to remember where I’d left my backpack.
Cursing myself and my never-ending stupid emotional breakdowns, I
ran through the living room into the family room, and locked on my
bag.

Snatching it up off a beat-up old
leather recliner, I turned to run, heading straight through the
front door and to my mother’s car, which would take me far, far
away from this house full of awful people who did nothing but hurt
one another and destroy lives.

Except I didn’t get very far. I turned
to run and instead of running, I smacked into a wall of muscle. Two
arms curled around me, one hand pressed firmly against the small of
my back and the other slid up into my hair, tightly fisting a
handful of dreads.

The smell. I knew it instantly. I’d
never forgotten it. Sweat and leather, cigarettes and exhaust
fumes, and…Cage.

My stupid heart swelled, my body warmed
and—

Oh, fucking shit, no.

“
Don’t touch me!” I
screamed, pulling away, nearly ripping several of my dreads out in
my pathetic attempt to dislodge him.

“
Shut up,” he growled,
yanking me back up against him. “You’ve got all those kids back
there cryin’ their eyes out. Yeah, everyone knows you’re hurtin’,
Teacup, but…”

Teacup.

Why would he still call me that after
all these years, after everything that had happened? I hated it. I
hated it so much. All it did was remind me of when we were kids and
he’d been so sweet to me, paying attention to me when no one else
would.

“
Don’t call me that!” I
continued to struggle, doing nothing but hurting myself trying to
get free.

“
What the fuck is wrong
with you?” he hissed, half walking, half dragging me back through
the living room while I carried on my pointless
struggles.

“
What’s wrong with me?” I
yelled, my renewed anger drying my tears, shielding my emotions
from the one person on earth who had the ability to tear them down
in an instant if I weren’t careful. “You’re what’s fucking wrong
with me! Your mess of a club is what’s wrong with me!”

Cursing, Cage slammed my body hard up
against the hall closet. Grabbing the sides of my face, he forced
me to look up at him. Glaring down at me, his teeth clenched, he
bent down, bringing us nearly nose to nose.

“
Would you please just
fuck off!” I hissed.

“
Don’t say another
motherfuckin’ word,” he growled. “Time to fuckin’ listen, you
mouthy little bitch.”

“
Why the fuck would I
listen to you?”

“
Because!” he roared and
spittle flew in my face. “It’s about damn time you listened to
someone! It’s been years, babe, fuckin’ YEARS that you’ve been
walkin’ around life with a chip on your shoulder. You been takin’
it out on everyone around you, shittin’ on the entire club,
shittin’ on your mom, makin’ everyone feel even worse than they
already do, when you and I both know this shit ain’t even about
your fuckin’ mom and it’s about fuckin’ time you owned up to your
own bullshit!”

Oh no, no way in hell was he going to
get away with this!

“
Don’t even,” I snarled.
“Don’t you dare think any of this has to do with you!”

But Cage, being Cage, ignored
me.

“
You’re still feelin’ me,
Teacup, and you’re still pissed that I fuckin’ stiffed you all
those years ago, ain’t you?”

“
No!” I snapped. “I don’t
give a shit about you!”

Cage stared down at me, his brown eyes
shifting as his gaze swept over every inch of my face. I stared up
at him, feeling all of it. Every horrible, rotten, piece-of-shit
feeling that came with being around Cage.

“
No?” Smiling bitterly,
his face suddenly dropped and his lips brushed across
mine.

It felt like a sucker punch to my
chest. Quick, swift, painful, and utterly unfair. My walls, the
same ones that had taken long, painstaking years to erect, fell
instantly, and like paper, listlessly floated to the
ground.

What? I couldn’t…even…think…straight.
Not when he was holding me like this. I could only stand there and
shudder through the feelings, the too much of it, the too little of
it, all of it, all of him…too close to me, too far away. Never
enough.

“
You wanna test that
theory, you crazy fuckin’ bitch?”

He was already tilting my head to give
him better access. I fucking knew that if he kissed me, I would
cave completely and end up kissing him back.

“
You want me,” he
growled.

I shook my head wildly. “No,” I said
breathlessly. “No!”

His hand slid from my cheek, straight
down over the top of my breast, and landed on my side.

“
Yeah,” he growled softly
as his right hand slid even lower. “Yeah, Teacup, you
do.”

In a moment of sheer panic, just as
Cage’s lips met mine, I acted fast, ducking, pushing, and spinning
all at the same time, effectively dislodging myself from
him.

“
You fucking asshole!” I
screamed and out of pure frustration, both emotional and sexual, I
swung. My backpack flew across the foyer, hitting Cage square in
the face. He caught it as it fell, whipped it to his right, and
glared at me, nostrils flaring.

Realizing what I’d done, not knowing
how he was going to react, I panicked. Whirling around, I ran in
the opposite direction, back through the living room, the family
room, then yanked open the screen door and fled into the
darkness.

I didn’t have my backpack, meaning I
didn’t have my cell phone or my mom’s car keys. Which also meant I
had no means of transportation or way to call for any, and if I
kept running aimlessly, I would more than likely soon be lost in
the wilds of Montana.

Just as I was considering either
slowing down to get a good look at my surroundings or just giving
up my race to nowhere entirely, I heard the distinct sound of
heavy, booted footsteps pounding the hard ground behind
me.

“
Why won’t you just fuck
off!” I screamed, coming to a halting stop and spinning
around.

Cage came skidding to a stop and nearly
lost his balance trying to avoid crashing into me.

“
Tegen,” he growled. “Stop
your fuckin’ shit, right the motherfuck now.”

“
Go away!” I
demanded.

His chest expanded as his nostrils
flared and he looked so much like his father, only not as hard, his
features were softer, his eyes not as cold. His arm lifted, he took
a step forward, and I scrambled backward.

“
Don’t touch me,” I
warned.

“
Fuck that,” he growled
and his arm shot out, his hand closing around my forearm. He yanked
me forward, bringing me flush against him, holding tight to me much
the same way he had indoors, and tighter still until I had no
choice but to look up at him. “You’re goin’ to shut the fuck up for
once and do as you’re told.”

Oh God…no.

No.

Hell no.

Why wouldn’t he stop touching me? I
couldn’t think straight when he touched me.

“
How many times have I
gotta apologize for somethin’ I don’t even fuckin’ remember?” he
continued. “You really gonna stay mad at me forever?”

Yes!

“
Yes!”

“
Why?” he yelled. “You
still love me, Teacup? Still waitin’ on me, babe?”

Rage, white-hot, bubbled up inside of
me and strength born from anger gave me enough momentum to wrench
free from his grip. As he reached for me, I screamed at the top of
my lungs, my arm flew forward, and the palm of my hand cracked
across his face. Cage froze, just went completely still, and stared
at me.

“
You think I love you?” I
spat, slapping my palms against his chest and, with every bit of
strength I had, shoving him backward. “I fucking hate you! Being
with you was the worst thing that ever happened to me! It was that
fucking awful. You were so pathetic, I barely even felt you inside
of me, your cock is so small. You only lasted two fucking seconds,
and you have the nerve to think I LOVE YOU? You disgust me! You are
the most worthless piece of shit to ever walk the planet and I
fucking hate you!”

• • •

When he’d left the dining room to run
after Tegen, it had been for two reasons: one, to save her from the
wrath of his father, and two, because the crazy bitch had made
every single kid at the table burst into tears. She needed to know
that shit wasn’t right, her behavior was fucked-up, that she
couldn’t just continue to badmouth everyone associated with the
club.

Especially when all that hate she’d
been spewing for all these years had very little to do with her
mother. That shit was all on him. So, first he was going to tell
her how ridiculous this hard-on for hating him was, that he’d been
only nineteen years old, for Christ’s sake, and what the fuck had
she expected. This shit had been going on way too long and it was
well past time she shut the fuck up for two goddamn seconds and let
him get a word in, let him apologize, because, fuck yeah, he’d been
a dick, he knew it, everyone knew it, and it was time they aired it
out.

Then he was going to fuck her. He
wasn’t sure why he was always so suddenly fuck-happy around her,
but fuck, there it was.

Maybe because she made him goddamn
crazy with her fucking bullshit, to the point where he wanted to
punch a motherfucking hole straight through her pert little face.
But he didn’t really want to kill her, so punching a hole through
her pussy seemed like the next best alternative.

Or maybe it was because he didn’t
remember the first time they fucked and every encounter with her
since then had come with a box of misery wrapped up in a big bow of
despair.

Or maybe it was because he couldn’t
fucking stand seeing the woman, who as a girl had looked upon him
like the sun had rose and set with him, now looking at him like he
was the biggest piece of shit she’d ever met.

Like his father looked at
him.

So, yeah, he was going to tell her off,
set her straight, and then fuck her so damn hard she forgot not
only that she hated him but her goddamn name as well. And then he’d
walk the fuck away, leaving her begging for more.

At least, that had been the original
plan until she’d refused to shut the fuck up. Until she’d slapped
him across the face. Until she’d continued to run her mouth, every
word coming out of it making him feel like a bigger piece of
shit.