Unbearable (32 page)
Authors: Sherry Gammon
Epilogue
Maggie
“Hi, Mom.” I shifted the umbrella in my hand as I set a yellow rose next to her headstone. It was the first time I’d seen it in person. When she died, I didn’t have the strength to pick it out. Seth selected one for me. He showed me pictures, but they didn’t do it justice. Etched into the square stone were roses and a little girl walking hand in hand with her mother. Ironically, I couldn’t remember a time when I walked hand in hand with my mother. But that didn’t matter anymore.
“I brought some yellow roses for Katie. She’s my daughter. She died six months ago.” I blinked back tears. “I decided it’s about time I came to see you. I’m sorry I haven’t before now. To tell you the truth, I had too much anger inside.” I toed a clump of snow next to her headstone as I spoke. “I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t good enough for you, not a good enough child, not a good enough student, not good enough period. And it hurt, Mom, it hurt a lot.” I zipped my coat a little higher against the cold.
“After I got married—oh, I married Seth, by the way. Do you remember him? You didn’t care for him when you first met him, but you were wrong. He’s been an amazing blessing in my life. He helped me to heal, and move on. If not for him, I don’t think I’d be here today visiting you.
“As I was saying, after I got married, my heart began to soften toward you. I realized that your addiction stole who you really were. I decided it was time for me to put the past behind me and finally come visit your grave. I was eight months pregnant at the time, and just that day my doctor put me on bed rest for high blood pressure. I thought: no big deal. I’ll visit after the baby’s born and bring him here for you to meet. Two weeks later, after a horrible labor and delivery I might add, they placed little Eric in my arms. I looked down at his splotchy pink face as he screamed at the top of his lungs and fell in love. I placed his ear next to my mouth and spoke soft tender
I love you’s
, and
Mommy’s here, you’re safe,
in his ear. He immediately stopped crying. He just lay in my arms, and blinked his eyes as he drank in Seth’s and my voice.
“In that instant, my anger for you ignited all over again, only stronger this time. My sweet Eric was scared, and all he wanted was to hear my voice reassuring him that he wasn’t alone in the world. That he was loved. He wanted what I wanted. Only, unlike Eric, I never got that from you.”
I closed my eyes. I had to do this, to forgive her, despite the pain that still haunted me, that still tore at me. I steadied myself and continued.
“Each new birth fanned the anger. Three years later Samuel Cole was born, and three years after that Eliza. And
of course our little Katie. She would have turned one next week.” I turned from my mothers’ headstone, as if somehow she could see my tears. She hated it when I cried.
“Sorry. I get emotional over my family. It’s just that I love them more than anything.” I dried my face with my gloved hand as a flock of geese flew overhead, squawking noisily to each other through the falling snow. I smiled, remembering how much Eliza loved to chase the birds as we walked along the canal.
Collecting myself, I faced her again and continued. “It took me a while, but eventually I pushed past the anger, realizing I needed to forgive you so
I
could heal. I doubt I’ll ever understand why you hurt me like you did, but it is what it is.” I chuckled. “And I’m not even sure you care, but I do forgive you.” As I said the words, my heart felt lighter. “I’m glad I came,” I said, mostly to myself.
The snow finally stopped. I shook the wet mess off my umbrella and snapped it closed. “I have to go. Our friends are celebrating their tenth anniversary and his wife is surprising him with a Caribbean cruise. She’s petrified of water, but she knows how badly he wants to go. I want to see his face when he opens the envelope.”
The clouds were breaking apart and rays of sunshine began punching through, spotlighting the ground. “Looks like it’s going to be a beautiful day after all.” I brushed the slush from the top of her headstone. “I’ll come by more often. I promise. I’ll bring the kids by, too. They enjoy it when we visit Seth’s parents. Eliza swears she can see them flying around us whenever we stop by.”
I repositioned the rose before turning toward my car, stopping after a few steps. I angled back to my mother’s grave, admiring the headstone again for just a moment.
“I love you, Mom.”
Listen to the playlist for Unbearable
Other novels by Sherry:
Exciting news!
Book one of the Port Fare Series, Unlovable, is being made into a movie! For all the latest news on the move, like my
Unlovable Movie Page! Here!!
Unlovable (Book 1 of the Port Fare Series):
High school senior Maggie Brown is truly the poster child for Heroin Chic, complete with jutting bones and dark-ringed eyes. But drugs are not Maggie's problem... her mother is.
Seth Prescott is an undercover cop assigned to Port Fare High, and despite his job, he’s developed strong feelings for Maggie. Seth’s working tirelessly to flush out the sadistic drug peddlers that have invaded the small town of Port Fare, New York, while Maggie fights to stay alive as the search turns deadly. Seth and Maggie’s romantic journey is one of humor, heartbreak and self-discovery as their world is about to change forever.
Unbelievable (Book 2 of the Port Fare Series)
:
Deliah Lopez Dreser’s in town to take care of family business. They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but there’s more to Lilah than meets the eye. Cole’s in danger of losing his heart when this firestorm throws sparks his way. However, is she simply playing him for the fool in order to exact revenge for her brother’s murders? Maggie and Seth’s reaction when the truth is revealed pushes friendship to the limit. And this time around it won’t be a Dreser causing an uproar in Port Fare. It will be Cole's good friend Booker. But does Booker have it all wrong?
Not So Easy
: Senior Max Sanchez has it all.
He’s the star pitcher for Port Fare High’s baseball team. He’s dating the head cheerleader, Emma McKay, and he has a great group of friends. Junior JD Miller’s life is Not So Easy. Unlike Max, JD struggles with making friends. He’s a social misfit, and he’s being bullied at every turn. He’s also barely surviving. A tragic accident changes everything, merging their lives together, and Max soon learns that life is not so easy for everyone. Max works to the point of exhaustion trying to help JD survive the chaos that is his life, and his eyes are opened to a world he had no idea even existed. Not So Easy is a story about hope, surviving, and never giving up.
Pete & Tink A Novella
:
Pete Pancerella loves two things in life: Video games and Spongy Cremes. He’s happy, content, and he’s also a geek. All that is about to change when his mother wishes upon a star and Tink answers the call. But will it take more than a five-and-a-half inch faery to whip this manga-loving goofball into shape?
Loving Marigold : (Part of the A Fantasy Christmas anthology
)
Young Marigold Yarrow has a secret. She’s also in love with Jack Mahoney. In the middle of her ninth grade year, Jack's family up and moves to Port Fare, New York, leaving the small town of Sugar Maple, West Virginia - and Marigold - far behind. Nine years later Jack and Marigold meet again. They join forces to weed out the shady Abbott boys. The unscrupulous brothers are illegally selling moonshine near her home on Sugar Maple Ridge. And they'll do anything to get Marigold to leave the ridge. Anything.
But this time it could be magic that tears Jack and Marigold apart.
The Experiment: Co-written by Jeffrey and Cindy C Bennett
: Time is running out for the Collaborative's oppressive rule of the remote world Senca One. The government attempts to suppress the escalating riots, even while seeking to further their experiments. When their parents are taken, triplets Juliet, Cilla, and Emiah Tripp set out to locate them, and soon discover they are at the center of a hunt to capture
them
.
www.
WordpaintingsUnlimited.com
Domestic abuse Hotlin
e
1−800−799−7233
About the Author
Sherry Gammon's debut novel Unlovable quickly rose to the top seller list on Amazon. She has added several more novels to her body of work.
Sherry and her wonderfully supportive husband, currently call Upstate New York home, which is also the setting for her novels. It is where they are raising their family. Sherry has a degree in Legal Assisting, and served as a medical technician in the Air Force. She and her husband worked in foster care for a number of years, from which they adopted their youngest son. She has worked in the education system for a number of years, and is currently lucky enough to be teaching teenage girls, ages 12-18. She has lived in Michigan, California, Utah, Texas, Pennsylvania, and the beautiful, but over-taxed state of New York where she has spent the last eleven years, and now considers home. It is where she spends her nights writing instead of sleeping :}
Please drop by
my webpage and say hi! I LOVE hearing from my readers!
www.
WordpaintingsUnlimited.com
Amazon Edition
Amazon License Statement
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Amazon.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
All rights reserved. No parts of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Exceptions are reviewers who may quote short excerpts for review.
This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. The characters are products of each author's imagination and are used fictitiously.
A Wordpaintings Unlimited Book
Distributed by Wordpaintings Unlimited and Sherry Gammon
All Rights Reserved
USA
Cover Design by Sherry Gammon
Cover photo by:
Michael Zysman | Dreamstime.com
Back cover photo:
Mari1Photo Depositphotos.com
Continue for a sneak peek of
The End of Feeling
by Cindy C Bennett
Prologue
Benjamin
I don’t feel anything anymore.
If I were going to feel something, it would be for my sister, Mia. She’s gone now, has been for the last eight years since I was nine . . . and I somehow doubt she’s coming back.
I loved her when she was here. I tried to protect her.
I failed.
When he finally hurt her so badly that she nearly died, torn up inside and out,
she
came and took her.
She
left me here, left me with him, completely at his mercy. As far as I know, she didn’t even come back to see if I was okay, if I needed help, if I needed to go, too.
I don’t hate
her
for that. I don’t even envy her that she got out so much earlier than even Mia. To do either of those things requires feeling, and I don’t feel. Anything. So I live with him still, numb and beyond caring. How else could I be?
One
Benjamin
Daniel and I relax at a table in the center of the common area. School begins in less than fifteen minutes, so many of the other students have already begun to gather their stuff and move toward their first period class. Those who remain behind, unhurried and unworried, are the seniors. It’s the sophomores and juniors that worry about being late.
Daniel sits on the bench, his back facing the table, elbows propped on the edge and his legs sprawled in front of him. I’m lying flat out on the top of the table, arms propped behind my head as we discuss the upcoming football game. Some of our other buddies are sitting around with us as well, but they’re almost unimportant. Daniel and I rule the school and they know it. The others serve the purpose of having a crowd to rule.
“Whoa,” Daniel says, sitting up straight. I turn my head in his direction. “Hot new girl at ten o’clock.”