Unbreakable (18 page)

I turned her words over in my head. My love for God was unshakable. But was my faith that He would lead me in the right direction as strong? Did I trust Him to show me the way?

“Hope, can I ask you something?”

“Of course. Anything.”

“What's going on with you and Jonathon? I heard from my daughter that there may be an engagement soon.” She frowned. “I was surprised because you hadn't said anything.”

“She overheard Sophie Wittenbauer telling Leah that we're engaged. It's not true.”

“And where did she get that idea?”

“I have no idea. If it was Jonathon, I'm surprised. We certainly haven't talked about marriage. We're not even courting yet.”

Lizzie was quiet. Too quiet.

“What's wrong, Lizzie?”

She shook her head slowly. “I hope you'll be careful, Hope. Don't move too soon. I don't want you to make a mistake.”

I held up my hand. “Trust me. I have no intention of moving forward with anything right now. I'm still trying to recover from my broken engagement with Ebbie. Besides, I wouldn't do anything to embarrass him. Seeing anyone else right now wouldn't be appropriate.”

Lizzie picked up one of the pillows on the couch, punching it lightly. “I have a hard time believing that Jonathon would share personal information with someone like Sophie. I know he's uncomfortable with the way she acts around him.”

“I think he likes it.” I knew I sounded snippy, but being the center of gossip unnerved me. Let alone the knowledge that this rumor could reach Papa.

Lizzie snorted. “Wow, your nose is really out of joint. You must have some unresolved issues about Jonathon.”

“Well, I guess I do.” I stood up, walked over to the window, and looked out at the empty streets. After the restaurant closed, downtown Kingdom became a ghost town. “I don't know, Lizzie. I think I love Jonathon. He has so many good qualities, but for some reason I keep comparing him to Ebbie. It's stupid, I know. To be honest, when I was engaged to Ebbie, I constantly measured him against Jonathon, and he came in a distant second.” I turned around to look at my friend, who was staring at me with sympathy. “What in the world is wrong with me?”

“My dear, dear friend. There is nothing
wrong
with you. You're just torn between two men. It happens. The important thing is that you wait until you're absolutely certain you know
your heart and you've heard from God. Don't do anything until that happens. Okay?”

I smiled at her. “Thanks. Sometimes I feel that life is passing me by and I have to decide everything quickly. Twenty-six is old for a woman to still be single.”

Lizzie pointed her finger at me. “You should get married when you're ready, Hope, not because it's expected of you. What if you move too fast and miss the husband God has for you? I had the choice to marry someone besides Noah. If I'd done what looked right, I could have ended up in misery, or even dead.” She frowned at me. “You're not on earth to do the will of your earthly father or anyone else. You're here to find that special path God has for you. Don't sell out.”

“I wish I could find that path,” I said quietly. “Jonathon seems to be everything I've been looking for. He's good and kind. And he loves God.” I sighed. “Whatever I do, I won't hurt Ebbie anymore. I just can't. You should have seen the look on his face when he heard Papa accuse me of being in love with Jonathon. I'll never forget it.”

“Yes you will, honey. Someday when you're married to whoever is meant for you, and Ebbie is married to the woman meant for him, you'll realize that things turned out exactly the way they were supposed to.”

“I hope so. Papa says that God may have a plan for all of us, but we can choose to follow it or not to follow it. The trick is to make God's will more important to us than our own. Sometimes I'm not sure I'm doing that. My emotions seem to pull me one way and then another until I don't know what I want.”

Lizzie grinned. “Well, Jonathon isn't going to lose interest.
That boy's got it bad. I see it every time he looks at you. Just relax and take your time. You wait until you're sure what God's will is for you.”

A loud knocking sound came from downstairs, startling me. Before Lizzie had a chance to respond, a voice called out, “Lizzie? Where are you?”

“That's Jonathon,” I said, following her downstairs, Beau on my heels.

When we got to the bottom of the stairs, Jonathon was standing in the middle of the dining room. It was obvious he was upset.

“What's going on?” Lizzie asked. “Is something wrong?”

“Yes, something's wrong,” he said tersely. “Is Noah here?”

“No, he's at the house,” she said. “Why?”

Jonathon took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair. “Have you seen Sophie?”

“No,” Lizzie said, “but she hardly ever comes here.”

I stepped around Lizzie. “What's wrong, Jonathon?”

He sank down into a nearby chair. “She's made several comments about wanting to carry a loaded rifle when we're out on the road. Roger and I both told her no. We don't allow her to touch our guns, loaded or not. I finally told her I wouldn't let her come with us anymore if she didn't stop arguing about it.”

“Are you and Roger still carrying unloaded rifles?” Lizzie asked.

Jonathon shook his head. “I don't. When it came right down to it, I just couldn't do it. It didn't feel right.”

“What about Roger?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I told him how I felt, but he has to make his own decision about that. I have no idea if his rifle is loaded.”

“Has something happened with Sophie?” I asked.

“I keep a rifle in my truck just like a lot of us do. It's always there in a rack behind the back seat.”

Lizzie started to say something, but he held his hand up. “It's for hunting, Lizzie. That's all.”

I felt the blood drain from my face. “Where's your rifle now, Jonathon?”

“I don't know. That's the problem. Sophie was hanging around earlier today while I was helping Noah out at the house. I left there around six to go home for dinner. On the way, I noticed my rifle was gone. I think she's got it, and it's loaded.” He stood up. “I've got to find her before she does something stupid.”

“You mean stupider?” Lizzie said sarcastically.

He nodded. “Yes, stupider.” He sighed deeply. “I don't know what to do with Sophie. She follows me around like a little puppy dog. I've spoken to her about it, tried not to hurt her feelings, but it's like she doesn't hear me.”

“Maybe you're not trying hard enough,” Lizzie said.

He shrugged. “What can I do? Tell her she's never allowed to talk to me again? That seems cruel.”

“Right. And look what being kind has gotten you.” Lizzie was clearly exasperated, but I could see Jonathon's point. Hurting Sophie, a girl so obviously in need of some attention, would be very difficult.

“I've got to go. I'm afraid she's gone out to the road with my gun.” He put his hat back on his head and turned toward the door.

“Wait a minute. I'm going with you,” I said.

He swung around, his hand on the doorknob. “No you're not. It could be dangerous.”

“Don't be silly. You're just trying to locate Sophie. She's not going to shoot us. Besides, I need to talk to you, and this would be a perfect opportunity. Papa's with Herman in Junction City.” I looked over at Lizzie. “I won't be gone long. Do you mind?”

“Not at all. This will give me time to get Charity to bed so we'll have lots of gab time when you get back.” She grinned lopsidedly. “Besides, I have a feeling we'll end up with a lot more to talk about if you go with Jonathon.” She looked down at Beau sitting next to me. “Beau can stay here with us. Charity will never speak to me again if you take him with you.”

“Thanks, Lizzie. I appreciate it.” I leaned down and patted Beau's head. “You stay here, boy. I'll be back soon.”

He licked my hand as if to show me he understood.

Jonathon raised his eyebrows at Lizzie's comment about having more to talk about when I returned, but at least he didn't argue anymore. Instead, he held the door open. After saying good-bye to Lizzie, I scooted past him and hurried to his truck. He opened the passenger side door so I could get in, and then ran around to the driver's side. When we got to the edge of town, I turned toward him.

“About Sophie . . .”

“Hey, I get it, okay? I didn't handle this well.”

“That's not what I'm talking about.”

He looked at me with a confused expression. “Okay, what
are
you talking about?”

“Seems that Sophie was overheard telling Leah Burkholder that we're engaged.”

He stepped on the brakes, slowing the truck down and
forcing me to brace myself by putting both hands on the dashboard. “She said what?”

“You heard me.” I shook my head. “All the kids in Leah's classroom overheard her. It won't take long before it gets back to Papa.”

He put his arm across the back of the seat. His long hair fell over one eye, and he brushed it aside with his other hand. “I never said anything like that to Sophie. Why would I? That would be crazy.”

“Maybe you thought it would get her to leave you alone?” I asked it as a question, but I was aware that it sounded more like an accusation.

He shook his head. “No. In fact, except for seeing her at Noah and Lizzie's for the meeting, I haven't spoken to her. She was at the funeral supper, but I was too busy to pay any attention to her.”

I sank back against the seat. “Then where did she get that? How could she know about us?”

“I have no idea, but I can guarantee you it wasn't from me.”

I stared out the windshield, dirty from the dusty roads in Kingdom. “Sophie's smarter than you think she is. She may think that starting a rumor around town about our impending marriage will actually split us up. It's not a secret that Papa doesn't like you.”

“I know he disagrees with my views,” Jonathon said, hurt in his voice. “But I'd hoped he didn't actually dislike me.”

I reached over and touched his shoulder. “I'm sorry, Jonathon. I shouldn't have said that. Papa knows we need to walk in love with each other.”

He raised one eyebrow. “So he has to ‘walk in love' with
me on purpose? Great. I knew asking him if I could court you would be difficult, but now I'm really worried about his reaction.”

“Look, let's not talk about this now. I think finding Sophie is our first priority. Especially if she's out near the main road. After what happened at Noah's house, it's obvious she's not safe there.”

He put the truck into gear and started down the road again. “I have a few questions for that girl when I find her. I'm trying to consider her feelings, but she's beginning to make me mad.” He glanced over at me. “And I won't have her causing problems between us.”

I couldn't help but smile. “Just a thought, but you might want to get your rifle back before you chastise her.”

He blanched. “Yeah. Hadn't thought of that.”

Within a few minutes we reached the edge of town, but I didn't see Sophie anywhere. “Where could she be?”

“You know something funny?” he said as he pulled his vehicle over to the side of the road. “She's been disappearing a lot lately. And when I ask her where she's been, she won't tell me.” He sighed. “Her parents don't keep an eye on her, so I try to. I could swear she's up to something, but I have no idea what it is.”

Believing Sophie was “up to something” wasn't the least bit difficult for me. Every time I was around her, I felt distinctly uncomfortable. I didn't trust her as far as I could throw her.

Across from us was a long fence put up a couple of months ago by several of the men in Kingdom. On the other side was a deep ravine. There had been several accidents when
automobiles or horses accidentally veered off the narrow road and tumbled over the side. The new fence helped provide a measure of safety for our buggies, although the wooden posts wouldn't offer much protection for a heavy car or truck. Jonathon pointed toward a tree several yards from the ravine, where a large horse stood.

“That's Sophie's horse. She's here all right. When we watch the intersection, we usually stand over there. That tree keeps us hidden, but we can clearly see the road.”

I scanned the area. “She shouldn't be out here alone, Jonathan. What if those men spotted her from the main road? She could be in serious danger.”

“I'm aware of that. She's been told not to come here by herself, but she does it anyway. You may have noticed that Sophie doesn't take advice well.”

“Yes, I've noticed.” I looked around the area carefully. “I don't see her anywhere. Are you scheduled to watch the road tonight?”

He shook his head. “Roger's on this evening. Mary has the flu, so he'll be alone.”

“Even so, Sophie had to know that it wouldn't take you long to find out your rifle was missing.”

“I have no idea what she's thinking. Figuring Sophie out is beyond my abilities.” He put his hand on the door handle. “I'm going to look for her. That ravine worries me.” He got out and trotted across the street. I watched as he leaned over the fence and then walked around to where the structure started. After looking down into the ravine, he suddenly disappeared.

I waited for several minutes, but when he didn't reappear,
I jumped out of the truck and ran toward the last spot I'd seen him. Had he fallen? Was he all right? As I neared the fence, I heard a loud popping sound and felt a sharp pain in my chest. It was only as I collapsed to the ground that I realized I'd been shot.

“Hope? Hope, can you hear me?”

I could hear Jonathon's voice, but I couldn't figure out where I was. Then suddenly I remembered the sound of the gunshot. I opened my eyes and looked up to see Jonathon's worried expression.

“I think I've been shot,” I whispered. “Am I going to die?”

He shook his head. “No, you're all right. I'm so sorry—”

“But my chest hurts.”

“You weren't shot, although it's a miracle you weren't. The bullet struck the tree, and a piece of bark smacked your torso. I'm sure it hurts, but you're going to be fine.”

I sat up, more humiliated than sore. “I could have been killed. Was that your rifle?”

He took my hands and helped me up. “Yes. I found Sophie hiding from me. When I tried to take the rifle from her, she grabbed it, and it hit the ground. It went off.” His taut expression revealed his anger. “It was a stupid thing to do. She could have killed you. Or at the very least seriously injured you.”

It was at that moment I saw Sophie standing a few feet away, her usual sullen expression planted firmly in place.

Something rose up inside me, and I stomped over to her. “You could have really hurt someone,” I yelled. “Me or Jonathon. What in the world is wrong with you?”

“It was a mistake. Get over it.”

In my whole life I'd never seen anyone look at me with such contempt, but that's what I saw in her face. It made me take a step back.

“Don't talk to her like that, Sophie,” Jonathon snapped. “You took my rifle without permission, and then you came out here after I told you not to. You not only put yourself in danger, you could have cost someone their life. I've had it with you.”

Jonathon's rebuke caused her face to crumple. Tears fell down her cheeks. “I-I'm sorry, Jonathon. I just wanted to help. Like you and Roger.”

“Roger and I are men,” he said crossly, “and we're used to guns. You're not.”

“Mary patrols with Roger, and she's not a man.”

The indignation in Sophie's voice seemed to upset Jonathon even more. “They're a team, Sophie, and Mary doesn't do dumb stuff like this.”

It was clear that Jonathon was getting weary of the young girl's protestations. I didn't want to feel sorry for her, but I knew what it was like to be on the outside of life, feeling as if you don't quite belong. Ever since Mama died, I'd felt different from most of my friends who had both parents. As if they belonged to a club I couldn't join.

“Look, Sophie,” I said, trying to sound a little gentler,
“maybe we can work together to help Jonathon and Roger. Something that won't be so dangerous.” I looked over at Jonathon. “Is that possible?”

“I'm not going to talk about that right now. I need to get you both back to town. It's almost dark, and it's not safe out here.”

I pointed toward the northwest. “Noah said he and the men staying with him will help keep an eye on the road. Surely that will help.”

“If they were actually watching out for strangers, that might be a great idea, but they're so busy working, someone could easily slip past them.”

I frowned at the bitter tone in his voice. “You're angry with them?”

He stared past me, his mouth tight. “I'm trying hard not to be, but I guess I resent their attitudes a bit. They could come out here with us. We're trying to guard
their
town.
Their
families.
Their
homes. Instead, they treat us like we're up to no good. Maybe if Noah had decided to join us, his house wouldn't have been targeted. I only hope these men don't feel emboldened to do more to us since they got away so easily with setting Noah and Lizzie's house on fire.”

I frowned at him. “What do you mean?”

“Did Noah call the sheriff about the fire?”

I shook my head. “No, because the sheriff would just tell him there was no way to know how the fire started or who started it.”

Jonathon snorted. “My point is that whoever caused that fire got away with it. Noah did nothing to protect himself or to try to bring the perpetrators to justice. He could actually
be putting the rest of us in more danger. And he's still not out here trying to help us.” His frustration had made his voice grow louder.

“Maybe if you and Roger weren't carrying guns, he and a few men might be willing to join you. They're good men, Jonathon. You know that.”

“I'm not carrying a gun.”

“But Roger is.”

He shrugged. “I guess so.”

“Why don't you ask him to put his rifle away? Then approach Noah and the others.”

“I don't know. Maybe.” He let go of a frustrated sigh. “Roger wants to be in law enforcement someday. He loves patrolling. At first I thought he was committed because of Mary and her folks. Now I'm not so sure that's his main priority. I'm not certain I can talk him into putting his gun away, but I'll try. And I'll talk to Noah tomorrow.” He shook his head. “Still seems like I shouldn't have to chase him down for help, but I'll do whatever it takes to keep Kingdom secure.”

“A lot of good talkin' to him is gonna do,” Sophie said sharply. “Noah cares more about what those church people think of him than he cares about keepin' the rest of us safe.”

“That's not true, Sophie,” I said, trying to control my irritation. “He cares very much, but he's trying to do what he thinks is right. I'm sure it's very difficult for him.”

Sophie pushed her dark prayer covering back. Strands of greasy dishwater-blond hair fell out onto her face. “It's not the least bit difficult. If some creep tries to hurt someone I care about, I'm gonna put a hole through 'em.” I noticed her quick glance at Jonathon but he hadn't seen it.

Jonathon sighed with exasperation. “We're not going to ‘put a hole through' anyone, Sophie. Frankly, after this incident, I'm beginning to question this whole idea. Something really tragic could have happened here today.” He pointed his finger at her. “No more. I don't want you touching another gun, and I don't want you out here again. Do you understand me?”

She didn't answer, just hung her head.

“I mean it, Sophie. I'm very close to disbanding this group. This doesn't seem to be working. Maybe we need another plan.”

Her head snapped up at his comment, a look of fear on her face. “You wouldn't do that. We gotta protect Kingdom.”

Jonathon slowly shook his head. “The attacks happened out on the main road. These guys have never tried to come into town. Maybe they don't know we're here.”

“It would have been easy to follow one of our buggies, Jonathon,” I said. “I don't think we should assume they don't know where Kingdom is. They obviously know where Noah and Lizzie live.”

He shrugged. “Well, with only one road in, it would be difficult to get out without being seen. Why go to the trouble when it's easier to hit churches in Washington and other towns?”

“Why?” Sophie asked angrily. “Because they know there's a bunch of people here who won't protect themselves! I'm telling you, they're coming. You gotta believe me!”

I watched her grow increasingly upset. Sophie was lonely, looking for some place to belong. The idea that she might lose her “group” seemed to terrify her.

“I don't know,” Jonathon said. “Maybe you two are right,
but I'm not going to talk about this right now. Let's get out of here.” He glared at Sophie. “You ride your horse back to your house and stay there tonight. I'll drive Hope home.” As he looked at me, his eyes widened, and he stared at my chest. I looked down to see a small red stain on my apron. I pulled it down and found a larger spot on my dress that was slowing growing. As I stared at it, I felt a little nauseated.

“You need to tend to that right away,” Jonathon said. “It should be cleaned and bandaged.”

I guess I swayed a bit because he hurried over and grabbed me. “Sorry . . . sorry,” I mumbled. “After being thrown from my buggy, you'd think I'd be getting used to seeing my own blood.”

He chuckled. “I'm not so sure anyone should get used to something like that.” He pointed at Sophie. “Get going, Sophie. Now.”

I got a quick look at her face before she whirled around and headed toward her horse. I was glad she no longer had a gun in her hands. This time, shooting me might not be an accident.

“Just lean on me,” Jonathon said. “I'll help you to the truck.”

“Thank you. I'm sorry to be such a baby.”

He laughed. “I still remember putting up a fence and slicing my finger open on a nail. Blood spurted out all over the place, and I fainted dead away. Fortunately I fell over on a soft mound of dirt.” He shook his head. “It's a normal reaction, Hope. Nothing to feel embarrassed about.”

I laid my head against his chest and felt safe with his arms around me. He smelled of sweat and soap. It was almost intoxicating.

“It's getting dark,” he said after we were both in the truck, “and I'm not comfortable letting Sophie ride all the way home alone. I think we should follow her.”

A full moon would have provided enough light for Sophie to safely find her way, but I had to agree that the small sliver in the sky didn't provide very much illumination.

“You've spent a lot of time following women around in your truck, haven't you?” I said with a smile.

He chuckled. “Well, that sounds wrong. Maybe you shouldn't repeat that to anyone else.”

I laughed. “You're right. I won't. Especially to Papa.”

Jonathon turned the truck around and drove slowly toward Sophie's horse. When he reached her, he had me roll my window all the way down. He leaned across the seat so Sophie could hear him. “I'm going to drive behind you, Sophie. I don't want you riding home in the dark by yourself. My headlights should help you see the road.”

She shrugged her shoulders, not even looking our way.

Jonathon shook his head and pulled around behind her, leaving several yards between us.

I glanced sideways at him. “You know she has feelings for you, don't you?”

He looked at me with surprise. “She's like my sister, Hope. I feel sorry for her. Her parents don't pay any attention to her, and she doesn't have any friends.”

“She doesn't have friends because she's pushed everyone away who's tried to reach out to her. I've tried to befriend her, Lizzie's tried, Leah . . . lots of us have offered our friendship only to be rebuffed.”

“When's the last time one of you really put out any effort?”

I couldn't stop my mouth from dropping open. “Are you blaming us for her bad attitude?”

“No, not really. But I've got eyes. When she's in town, no one talks to her. Same thing at church.”

“That's not fair, Jonathon. We've all tried. Many times. She doesn't want anyone in her life. She's made that very clear. Except for you, of course.”

He shrugged. “It's not my job to tell you what to do, but I think you're wrong. I think she wants friends very badly. She's just afraid you'll reject her like her parents have. There are some people you have to keep working on, Hope, and she's one of them.”

I was quiet as I thought about what he'd said. Maybe he was right. After being rejected more than once, I'd basically given up on Sophie. Had I quit too soon?”

“All right. I'll make you a deal,” I said. “You give Noah another chance, and I'll give Sophie another chance.”

“Well, okay, but like I said, I'm not upset with Noah. I'm beginning to think that he was right all along.”

“So you're really thinking about breaking up your little group?”

“My
little
group? You make it sound like we're a bunch of children playing a game.”

“I know you're very serious, and I appreciate everything you're doing to help us.”

“You think I'm wrong to consider it?”

I sighed. “I can't answer that question, Jonathon. I'm just as confused as everyone else.”

“I know what you mean. I believed we were doing the right thing until tonight. You could have been really hurt, Hope.
If anything bad had happened, I would have blamed myself the rest of my life.”

“But I'm fine,” I said. “Besides, Sophie is responsible. Not you.”

“I understand what you're saying, but I'm the one who started this whole mess. In the end, the responsibility lies with me.”

I honestly didn't know what to tell him. Until recently, I'd been proud of the stance Mennonites took against violence, but when actually faced with its consequences, my faith had been sorely tested.

We slowly followed Sophie. A gentle breeze blew through the truck, and the scent of wild honeysuckle mixed with moisture drifted through the air. I was certain that before the night was over, we'd have rain. We rode in silence for several minutes.

“What time is Roger supposed to patrol tonight?” I asked. “It's getting pretty dark.”

He shrugged. “I'm surprised we didn't bump into him back there. He must be running a little late.”

I nodded, not sure Jonathon could see me in the shadows.

“So you're mad because some people might think we're engaged?” Jonathon asked suddenly.

“I'm worried about Papa. If he hears it, he'll be angry. And hurt.”

Jonathon sighed. “What if he doesn't want me in your life, Hope? Will you go against him? You're old enough to make your own choices, you know. How long will you let your father tell you what to do?”

“I don't know. He told me I could make my own decisions,
but I still want his blessing. Not because I'm afraid of him, but because I love him.” I reached over and touched Jonathon's arm. “If God wants us to be together, He'll work it out. I just know it.”