Unbridled (12 page)

It was a beautiful morning judging by the sunshine streaming through the windows. She rolled out of bed and showered, the hot water reviving her nicely. There was a one-cup coffeemaker with little tiny cups of grounds for each. She happily made herself two cups and sipped them as she nibbled on the bread left on the tray from room service the night before.

Although she was hungry, the bread and coffee were all she wanted at the moment. She dressed in jeans and sneakers, determined to take her first ride in ten years. The thought of hopping on Rusty’s back was more appealing than any gourmet breakfast.

The cool air felt nice against her shower-warmed skin. She actually felt good that morning, which was a surprise considering the fact that it was the second night in a week that she’d drank too much. Perhaps whatever Connor did helped prevent whatever hangover she might have gotten.

It was before eight and there were only employees up and about. The fishermen were likely already at their task, which left the pretend cowboys. She surmised they were at the mess hall chowing down on Bernice’s eggs and bacon.

As she stepped into the enormous barn, the smells washed over her, catapulting her back to the past, to the very memories she’d avoided. Alex had loved horses, loved riding, loved everything about life on a ranch. She’d started on the back of a horse before she’d even gotten comfortable on her own two feet.

Alex had lived and breathed ranching. Her throat tightened at the realization that she’d hidden not only from her father but also from herself for the ten years she’d been gone. She’d truly missed all of it. She resented that, whoever was to blame for it.

The barn was quiet except for the sounds of the horses, the wuffles, an occasional neigh, the scrape of the horseshoes in the hay and a low murmur from somewhere in the back. She glanced down at her sneakers and made a promise to find a store that sold real boots as soon as possible.

She walked in, pleased to see how clean and organized the barn was. If Connor did anything halfway, she’d probably have to search twenty years to find it. He ran a tight ship, that was obvious, and in this case the horses were well cared for.

Alex strolled past the stalls, studying each horse’s name tag and breed before taking the time to look at them, say hello and blow into their nostrils so they learned her scent. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had so much fun or relaxed so easily.

Horses always had that effect on her, and she was so glad it was still true. They were friendly for the most part, although some were standoffish. They had personalities just like people, but most people didn’t know that. She found Rusty halfway down and was thrilled when he immediately came to her. She scratched him behind the ear and he gave her all kinds of horsey love.

After she finished meeting the horses, she made her way back to the front of the barn to the tack room. There were rows of neatly laid-out saddles, bits, bridles and headstalls. A pile of blankets lay in the corner, ready for use.

It was just as neat as the barn, and Alex started wondering if Connor had a form of OCD. No one’s tack room and barn were that damn neat. She checked everything and found it well-oiled and in great shape, of course. Alex begrudgingly admitted that it was in as great a shape as the books. She made a face at a fancy saddle with silver conchos decorating it. Could something be just a bit out of place and make her feel as if she were at a ranch?

“Can I help you?”

Alex turned to find a man in his forties, bowlegged as all men who spend too much time in the saddle are. He had some silver mixed in with his jet-black hair, and the standard cowboy garb of jeans and a button-down blue shirt. He pushed back his cream-colored hat and put his hands on his hips as he looked her over.

“I wanted to ride Rusty this morning. I didn’t want to disturb the exceedingly neat tack but I need a saddle I can sit on.” She touched the chinks hanging from the walls. “One of these days I’ll wear these again too.”

“You Alex Finley?”

Obviously Connor had put the word out about her. “Yep, sure am.” She held out her hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“I’m Julio, head groomsman here at Finley’s.” His hand was big, warm and callused, barely squeezing hers before letting go.

“Can you help me get Rusty ready?”

“Sure thing, Ms. Finley. I think I’ve got the perfect saddle for you that’ll fit that big bay.”

They spent the next ten minutes getting everything ready and saddling Rusty. Excitement bubbled in Alex’s stomach as they finally tightened the cinch and led the horse out of the barn. The sun made her eyes sting after being in the shady barn for so long, but she didn’t care. She was about to take a ride for the first time in ten years.

“There’s a mounting block over yonder.” Julio pointed to a long block on the ground, obviously there for all the cowgirls who rode during their vacations.

Alex knew her limitations and her lack of height. Accepting the inevitable, she led Rusty over to the mounting block and climbed up on his back with more ease than she expected. From up on top of the big horse, she felt as if she were a giant, that she could conquer the world if only she could ride him forever.

It was a freeing, amazing sensation and it made a smile break out across her face. Julio smiled up at her as he adjusted the stirrups.

“Keep to the trails until you get to know the terrain again. A lot can happen in ten years to change things.” He wasn’t bossy, but rather doling out advice he’d give to any guest at the ranch. Alex didn’t take offense and planned to take that advice to heart. She didn’t fancy getting lost on her first week back.

“Will do. Thanks, Julio.”

Alex used her knees to guide Rusty as she turned toward the signs for the trails, for the first time absurdly glad there were signs around. At first she thought they were tacky and a symptom of what was wrong on the dude ranch, but without them, she might not have even found the trail.

As much as she hated to admit it, Connor had done a good job of managing, running and laying out the ranch. She still didn’t take to the fact that her childhood home was inhabited by strangers, though. Her mother would have hated it. In fact, if they closed the dude ranch the next day and everyone left, Alex would be pleased as punch.

Of course, that would mean all the people there, including Bernice, would be out of a job. Alex had no money to pay anyone to work at the ranch, and there was the small matter of her little brother.

The thought of having a brother made her break out in a cold sweat. She’d spent so long competing against someone that wasn’t there—namely a brother—that to find out that person existed was devastating. He looked healthy, obviously hearty and, although he favored his mother, he had the Finley chin.

Alex wanted to hate him, so much that she could taste it. If she thought about it, though, it was more resentment than hate. She resented the fact he’d had her father, that Grant had been a father to him, acting with love and guidance, whereas she’d had nothing. As though Daniel had stolen him.

She sucked in a breath as the truth hit her square between the eyes. She was green-eyed jealous of the boy. He was a kid, for God’s sake, and Alex wanted to keep him out of her sight because she was jealous of whatever relationship he’d had with their father.

It wasn’t Daniel’s fault that their father had been a selfish asshole. Yet it was the sins of the father being visited on the sons, or daughter and son in this case. Alex couldn’t imagine seeing the kid every day, a constant reminder of what she wasn’t, and could never be. It would be a year from hell.

She made it to the trailhead and examined the signs, selecting the easy trail for her first ride, per Julio’s instructions. As much as she wanted to simply let the horse have its head and ride hell-bent for leather, she listened to her common sense this time.

The sun peeked its way through the trees as she picked her way along the trail. The burbling of a brook, the birds, a chattering squirrel and Rusty’s hooves were the only sounds. It was almost as if she’d landed in another planet after living in L.A. for ten years. Life actually existed outside of fast food, movies and trendy night-clubs. The sky could be blue, the air clean and the world much simpler.

It was interesting that she’d blocked out a good deal of her memories of Wyoming. She’d let the bad stuff overwhelm the good in her head. This, however, was definitely the good stuff. A morning ride used to be her ritual, what she did no matter what the weather. Although there were times her mother forced her to stay indoors during a blizzard so as not to risk the horse’s life along with her own.

Alex took a deep breath, pushing aside the bad stuff so she could focus on the good. For the most part, she succeeded. The land began to seep into her bones again, the love of the wide-open sky, the majestic mountains. She was born and bred in Wyoming; it was a part of her, a part she had denied for so long, too long.

After a glorious hour of riding, she returned to the barn refreshed and feeling much better than when she’d woken that morning. There were a lot more people around, many of the guests were milling around the barn at various stages of getting ready to ride.

She wasn’t concerned with Rusty’s next rider since Connor told her he was reserved for VIPs, and since she was the one staying in the VIP cabin, there wasn’t anyone else. As she hopped off his back, her legs and behind groaned. She forgot just how many muscles she used when riding.

They, however, reminded her with a vengeance. She hobbled a bit as she led Rusty back into the barn to rub him down. It had been a leisurely ride so he didn’t need too much attention, but she was responsible for it. One of the ranch hands unsaddled him and she managed a tight grin, although her ass felt like someone had punched her.

Alex realized she’d been dumb enough not to stretch before riding and now was paying the price. After she rubbed Rusty down and finished replacing the tack she’d used, Alex headed for the door, eager to return to the cabin and use the jet tub she’d spotted in the bathroom.

“No, Buttons, you can’t have any more peppermint sticks. Mama says they’re making you fat.” A child’s voice came from the second stall, where the pony was located, if she wasn’t mistaken. “Ginger doesn’t eat too many and she’s not fat like you. The little kids can’t ride you if your belly is too wide.”

Alex wanted to leave, but curiosity compelled her and her steps slowed. She peeked over the stall door and saw the black-haired Daniel using a curry brush on the shaggy pony. He looked so serious with his brow furrowed and his tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth.

She was immediately awash in memories of her childhood, of her father teaching her how to take care of a horse. Alex wasn’t ready for the wall of sadness and poignancy that hit her. She stepped away before the boy saw her and hightailed it out of the barn.

Alex didn’t want to think about her father, or her brother, and particularly not in the same thought. She tried to remind herself the kid had no blame for her issues, that he was as innocent in the situation as she was, but regardless of logic, her heart controlled her actions. Ignoring the pain in her muscles, Alex ran to the cabin. Ran from her memories and the pain.

A
fter hiding from everyone for the next two days, Alex ventured into the world of humans again Sunday morning. The sky was steel gray and she had a feeling there would be no riding, judging by the pregnant clouds that filled the sky.

It might be a good thing since her behind and legs were still on fire from her ride the other day. She’d taken a long bath, but she felt every second of the time she’d spent on Rusty. Her gait was slow as she walked gingerly toward the mess hall.

The last day had given her the opportunity to center herself and think about everything that had happened since she’d arrived in Wyoming. The heart of her issues related to her parents, and since they were both dead, she had to accept that there would be no catharsis, no way to resolve anything.

It sucked big-time, and left her completely frustrated. She realized she couldn’t take it out on everyone around her, but that didn’t mean she was about to lie down and let everything happen around her. She’d spent ten years burying her head in the sand and that time had passed.

Connor was about to have an accountant join the running of the ranch, like it or not. There was one skill she had, and that was her talent for numbers. David had paid to have her trained and she’d served as his personal accountant for nearly eight years.

She ate a quick breakfast, retrieved her laptop and went straight to the main building. It still felt odd to walk into her childhood home and realize it was a hotel. If asked, she didn’t think she could explain how she felt about it—almost as if she’d stepped into another dimension.

Connor’s office door was closed but that didn’t mean he was busy or gone. Besides, she was half owner in the ranch, so a closed door meant nothing. But just in case, she knocked.

“What?” came a sharp word from within.

“It’s Alex.”

A few beats passed before the door opened. Connor stood in the doorway, his eyes bloodshot, his hair sticking every which way and his clothes looking as if he’d spent the last two days in them.

“You look like shit.”

He grimaced. “Thanks. Did you come all the way down here to tell me that?”

Alex shook her head. She hadn’t actually meant to blurt that out. “No, sorry. I came here to talk to you about the books and the accounting.”

“I suppose they look like shit too.” He appeared to be in a rotten mood. She bit her tongue at the impulse to ask why.

“No, actually, they don’t.” She gestured to the office behind him. “Can we sit and talk in there?”

She didn’t want to call it his office—kind of peevish, she knew, but just the same that was how she felt.