Authors: Jasmine Carolina
I shake my head to try and put Maddox out of my thoughts, planting myself in the here and now with the man of my dreams.
“That I couldn’t be any happier with anyone than I am right now with you.” I glance up in time to see him start grinning like crazy at me. “And that I want to know if you feel the same way.”
He grabs my face in both of his hands, grazing the apples of my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. His forehead falls forward to rest against mine and he pants, his breath caressing my lips as his blue gaze meets my brown ones.
He’s silent, and he takes a long time to even breathe, let alone speak. I notice he does this. It’s like he thinks long and hard about everything before he opens his mouth, and I wonder why that is. What is he afraid of? That he’ll say the wrong thing and I’ll get mad at him? That he’ll say the wrong thing and I’ll leave? That’s not possible, not after the connection we shared the first time we made love, not after all he’s done for me tonight to break my walls down.
I’m not ready for what he’s about to say, because whatever words escape his mouth will either make me or break me. And to be quite honest, either scenario scares the living shit out of me.
Brody scares the living shit out of me.
I don’t know how to let go, how to give myself over completely to someone like him, someone who is, by his own admission, so damaged that he’s afraid to drag me into the crossfire. I don’t know how to give myself to someone who is basically the complete mirror image of myself, someone who feels the same way about love and life as I do.
But when he inhales, a deep, calming breath, I know that what he’s about to say is going to change everything.
“I feel more than I even know how to explain,” he whispers, and I close my eyes in response, barely able to breathe. “No, open your eyes, Dove. I need you to look at me.” My eyes snap open and I stare at him through tear-filled eyes. “I feel everything you feel, and sometimes I wish I didn’t. Feeling this way for you opens up a door for you to get hurt, and that’s the last thing I want to happen. But if you want me to be honest, I like you so much, Sabrina Yarida Matteo, because you make me feel a little less broken.”
EIGHTEEN
I STARE DOWN AT MY phone in silence.
Nic Quinn: Can you meet me at the Harlow Galleria? Someone wants to talk to you.
I’m not even sure what to think of Nickayla’s text message when it comes through my cell phone. We haven’t exactly hung out outside of work. I spend my mornings running with Henry, my days at school, my afternoons working, and my evenings with Brody and my siblings. I don’t really have time for much else outside of all that.
Today’s my first off day since Brody and my first date two weeks ago, because I’ve been requesting over time so I can save extra money. He asked me to go to prom with him, and even though it’s a little over a month away, I want to be prepared. I didn’t go to my junior prom, because my original date was supposed to be Henry. When he got with Kelsey, he backed out at her constant pleading, and I spent my night teaching Mila to walk.
I’m excited about prom. In my wildest dreams I couldn’t have ever imagined going with Lewellyn’s Guy, but I’m so happy I am. And I’m glad we found each other again. Now Henry knows he really exists, and that’s a weight off my shoulders, explaining that the perfect guy is a real life person and not a figment of my sleep-deprived, fifteen year old imagination.
I want to tell Brody—or better yet, ask him—about the day we first met. I’ve run that day in my mind over a million times in the past two years, and nearly twice as much since the first night I slept in his bed, trying to make sure he really is the guy from that bakery. And I know he is. This is more than just fate. It’s chemistry. We
work
together, and
well
, despite what should be obvious differences.
We’ve been spending every single waking moment together, and our very first date only sealed the deal. He put so much thought into it, I was incredibly flattered. He took me to a batting cage because he knows we both like sports and it was something we could do together. He played the same phenomenal country song all night, just because he knew how much I love country music. He spent an hour with my mom making the best
tortas
I’ve ever tasted, because he knows I prefer Mexican food to American. He didn’t know what kinds of chips or candy I would like, so bought damn near the entire snack section. There were so many small, intimate details he put into last night that I fell a little farther for him.
Today, we were initially going to do something together, but he ended up going shopping with Nickayla. Which makes her text message all the more weird. I know the
someone
is Brody, so why be so unnecessarily vague?
I consider ignoring it just for the simple fact that this is incredibly weird, but I decide against it. Nickayla has never been anything but nice to me, so the least I can do is see what she wants. Besides, I don’t have shit else to do today, and Bianca’s here and perfectly able to watch the kids for a couple hours, so I respond to Nickayla’s text message.
Me: Sure. Be there in ten.
The perks of where I live is the fact that we’re
literally
ten minutes away from the Harlow Galleria. I can shop whenever I want, for however long I want, and I’ve never missed curfew.
So I hop in my car since I’m already dressed. It doesn’t take me any time to get to the mall either; what’s going to kill me is having to find a parking spot. There are never any in the lot I’m used to parking in, and trying to find one is headache-inducing.
I wonder how much Brody has told her about our special situation. I know we haven’t put a label on it, but I would hope he’d at least tell his close friends that there’s something between us. Of course, I haven’t had the chance to tell Henry about my new status with Brody, but once I do get the chance, I know he’ll be nothing but happy for me.
Within five minutes, I locate one toward the back of the lot, so I park my car and head toward the front doors. Pulling my cell phone out of my pocket, I dial Nickayla’s number. She answers almost immediately.
“Hey, Bree,” she says.
“Hey. I’m here. Where are you?” I ask.
“Wetzel’s Pretzels.”
Acknowledging her answer, I hang up the phone. A few minutes later, I’m walking up to a small table at Wetzel’s Pretzels. I don’t even see Nickayla when I get there. I have eyes only for Brody. I grin at him easily, and I notice the way his eyes light up when he sees me approaching.
Everything about him calls to me, and it’s written all over his face how he feels about me, even if he hasn’t quite put it into words yet.
Brody doesn’t even greet me. Instead, he stands up and takes my hand immediately, like whatever he has to say is a matter of urgency. He gives Nickayla a sideways glance before he leads me away, his arms encircling my waist.
We stop in front of a Bath and Body Works and he leans against the outside wall. He crosses his legs at the ankles and grins widely at me.
“Hey, Dove.”
I grin at him. “Hey.”
He glances back at Nickayla momentarily and sighs. “I’m sorry about her. She thinks she’s hooking us up.”
I laugh outwardly, but deep inside, I wonder why he hasn’t told her about us. I don’t want to be with someone who’s ashamed of me.
“Yeah,” I say. “So what’s up? What’d you want to talk to me about?”
He sighs, and a million different scenarios run through my head. Is he going to tell me he doesn’t want to be with me? Is he going to move out? Is he seeing someone else? We don’t have a label on what we’re doing, so I don’t know if that means we can see other people. But I’m not. God, I forgot how boys made me all of a sudden question everything about myself.
“Nickayla’s Nonna has a cabin in Big Bear. We try to do something huge with our group of friends every year, and we decided in the fall that we were going to spend spring break in Big Bear. It was supposed to be a couples’ retreat type thing. However, when we made the plans, I was going to take Nickayla’s sister Naomi, so we could both be included. But now I have you, and Naomi has a…
man friend
, so. So I was wondering if you’d like to accompany me for the week.”
Holy shit.
I run his offer through my mind. And everything hits me all at once. Meeting his friends, the people who are important to him. Exclusivity. Spending a week without having to hide the fact that we sleep together. Getting to do cheesy, cutesy couples’ shit with him. Wow.
I’m rendered speechless.
“I’d love to go. Thank you for asking me.”
Suddenly, he grabs my hip and guides me toward his rock hard body. As I approach him, I wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face in his shirt. I close my eyes as one of his hands rises to stroke my hair.
“I want to kiss you so bad right now,” he whispers.
Ever since the night of Cynthia’s wedding, he doesn’t hold anything back. He tells me exactly what’s on his mind without me having to ask him nine times out of ten. And the words that come out of his mouth sometimes…it’s clear his mom raised a charmer.
I laugh, then peer up at him through hooded lids. “Why don’t you, then?”
It’s a simple question. Usually, he doesn’t have any qualms about kissing me, especially not in public. So the fact he’s holding back right now strikes me as suspicious.
He shrugs against me. “Nickayla thinks she’s hooking us up. And considering all she’s been through in the past year or so, I want to let her. It’ll make her happy to know she did something good for me, when normally I thwart her efforts.”
He kisses the top of my head and I smile, content.
It’s clear how much he cares about the people in his life, and I can’t help but adore him for it. I have to admit, his kindness is extremely attractive. I just want to walk out of this mall right now, take him home, and have my way with him. As of now, I have yet to take control in the bedroom, but I think perhaps it’s about time to show him just what kinds of tricks I have up my sleeve.
“I can’t wait to get you home and not-kiss you.” I grin, feeling his erection against my belly the minute those words leave my mouth.
“I can’t wait to get you in bed and make you regret saying that. I plan on kissing every inch of that lovely body of yours, and you’ll never not-kiss me again.”
…
THIS IS A SCENE RIGHT out of a horror movie.
Mom and Daddy are sitting across from me and Brody, stern, but confused, looks on their faces. It’s a situation I’ve never been in before, and I don’t even know how to approach it.
Brody and I talked about it on the short ride back to the house. How would we ask their permission for me to go? How would we present ourselves to them? How would we convince them it’s a good idea to let us go away for an entire week, when they barely know Brody, let alone any of his friends? How would we handle my father? Let’s face it, he’s a much harder sell than Mom is.
He didn’t want to say we were friends with benefits, because we’re both more than that. And although the title isn’t official yet—I don’t know why that is, but whatever—we decided it’d be best to say we’re dating. Exclusively. Which hopefully we would be after the trip.
My parents keep giving me the evil eye, like this is something I planned the minute I asked if Brody could stay here. When I saw he needed help, I didn’t have any ulterior motives. I just wanted to help him. There was nothing on my mind besides making sure he and his siblings had a place to rest their heads, and people who cared about taking care of them.
My dad, however, doesn’t see it that way. He thinks I orchestrated this whole plot to move my boyfriend in for easy access, and now I want to manipulate him into letting me go away for the week. And although Mom knows that’s not true—Hell, Ray Charles could see that it’s not true—my dad is being extremely difficult.
“So you want permission to take my daughter to the mountains for an entire week?” Daddy asks, glaring at Brody. “Why on earth should I let her go?”
“Gabriel,” Mom interrupts, but Daddy cuts her off.
“Anastasia! She wants to go away to spend a week with a handful of other teenagers! With no adult supervision!”
Brody raises his hand solemnly, like he wants to say something. My father shoots him a look, but Brody proceeds anyway. “Um, technically, I’m an adult. I just turned eighteen in January. Also my friend Colin is eighteen, and my friend’s boyfriend Hayden is twenty two. Nothing inappropriate would be happening, and there will be adult supervision.”