Uncensored Passion (Men of Passion) (26 page)

“Take me! Fill me as only you can.”

“Not yet,” he whispered to her. “I want to watch you wanting me. I want to see how much you love me first.”

“I do love you. You know that.”

“I want you to love only me!”

“Take me, Trey. Take me now. I want you inside me. I’m aching to feel you deep inside me. Now! Now!”

“Say it, Kayla. Say I am the only one you want.”

“Yes. You are the only one I want.”

“Say you don’t need anyone else.”

“I don’t need anyone else.”

Kissing her, ravaging her mouth, he drove into her fiercely, satiating his own burning sexual appetite as well as hers. She clawed his back, moaned his name, cried out in blissful exuberance as they rose to the pinnacle of desire and fell into total satisfaction together.

Trey held his dream Kayla tightly against him, crushing the pillow in the circle of his arms, as the tide of emotions ebbed and calmed. Frowning in his sleep, he resisted letting her go, suddenly struck by the fact that she would disappear like a puff of wind if he did.

“Say you’ll never leave me, Trey.”
His dream Kayla pleaded.

“I love you, Kayla. I will always love you. You are mine and only mine…”

Trey was startled awake by a noise. Disappointed to have his dream interrupted and struggling back from the foggy dregs of sleep, he couldn’t remember where he was—and then he did.

He was at home. Or at his apartment, anyway, which he really didn’t consider home. And he remembered that Jerry was there, too. He assumed the noise he’d heard was either Sarah leaving or Jerry opening the couch.

He pushed up, groaning at the flash of pain. Feeling sticky from his wet dream, he fished a clean pair of shorts from the bureau and went to the bathroom. After relieving himself and washing his hands, he downed three Tylenols, hoping they would at least dull the throbbing aches. Then he exchanged his soiled shorts for a dry, clean pair and crawled into bed, emitting another groan and trying to replace the pain with hope.

Maybe I’ll dream of Kayla again.

He couldn’t remember the dream exactly, but he knew it had been good, as evidenced by the shorts he had dropped into the dirty clothes hamper.

He glanced at the bedside clock. It was 0400.

* * *

At the same predawn time in Nashville, Kayla lay tossing and turning. By silent, yet mutual agreement among the guys, she was sleeping alone as she had been since J.J.’s tragedy and her subsequent meltdown.

They took turns being attentive and nurturing. Each kissed her goodnight when it was time to go to bed. Then one would sit with her till she fell asleep.

For a moment, Kayla thought about their thoughtfulness and almost smiled, but then a stab of pain in the region of her heart had her wondering,
will I ever pull myself back together?

She closed her eyes as she remembered Trey’s voice. He had sounded tired and in pain. She could only imagine how tough it must have been, taking that beating, and just getting from the hospital to his apartment. She wished she could go to him. Comfort him.

How he must be hurting, and not just from the beating of his body, but the beating I know he’s taking in his heart and mind, as am I. God, we’re so connected and yet so totally far apart in the lifestyle we want to live!

She wanted Trey Cameron more than she had ever wanted anyone in her life. And she knew that he felt the same about her, knew it like she knew her own shadow. Though she couldn’t understand why, she realized that somehow, in the short but erotic time they had shared, they had become like two halves of one whole. With a sinking feeling, Kayla silently acknowledged that one without the other would never be complete.

But then she thought how they were philosophically standing on opposite sides of a great gulf with no way to bridge the gap, and she felt physically ill. Her stomach roiling, she pushed off the bed and rushed to the bathroom, just in time to throw up her dinner.

Afterward, she sat on the closed toilet seat and dropped her head to her hands, sobbing, knowing she couldn’t go on like this, but not knowing how to remedy it.

How will I stop the aching pain of not ever seeing Trey again? And how can I live with the guilt of causing J.J. to want to shoot himself, because no matter how much the guys try to make me believe I’m not responsible, I know I am.

She washed her face, brushed her teeth, and sank back down to the toilet seat, suddenly drained of emotion and weary beyond belief.

She had been wrestling with her feelings ever since Trey had left, and now, Kayla silently admitted the truth that she had been mentally running away from and the admission shook her to the depths of her soul.

I thought I loved the guys and they, in combination, were what I needed to be fulfilled. But I have never loved any of them the way I love Trey Cameron. He alone would be enough for me. But I can’t and won’t ever hurt them by telling them that.

She pushed up and walked slowly back to the bed, feeling depressed and more tired than she could remember ever feeling.

I’ve got to get hold of myself. What is wrong with me? I am stronger than this,
she told herself as she lay down and curled into a fetal ball, trying to convince herself she would get beyond this overwhelming sense of loss. Hadn’t she coached many people through something like this?

Yes
,
but I never truly empathized with their lack of resolution, until now. Is this karmic payback?

It’ll just take time. Give yourself time. That’s what I’ve told countless others. Now I know how senseless that kind of counseling is, because I don’t believe I can take my own advice.

When she finally succumbed to weariness and fell into a fitful sleep, her dreams became entangled in an imaginary world of erotic hope.

As the mist of memory became clearer, Kayla saw herself lying in Trey’s arms. She felt his mouth ravaging hers, his demanding tongue probing. He prodded her legs apart with his knees as he rose above her. She reached for him, clasping his rock-hard shaft, engorged and ready. She stroked him as their kiss deepened.

He moved her hand and rubbed the velvet tip of his cock against her clit, delighted in her gasping moans before plunging into her heated, inviting core. It instantly and hungrily closed around him, as he increased the friction by clasping her bottom, lifting her pelvis and slamming into her. Leaning to claim her mouth, his thumb gently pressed her sensitized breast. Releasing her mouth, Trey sucked a nipple deeply and Kayla experienced the starting of the tingling, overpowering climax that she suddenly knew only Trey, the man she loved, could give her.

Her fingers felt his powerful hip muscles as he pistoned into her again and again. She writhed, begging for release, and when it came, it shook her to her soul, taking her breath, honing every sensual nerve to a singing edge as she lay quivering in sated ecstasy.

Kayla exhaled a satisfied breath. She hugged her pillow in her sleep. Within her dream mind, she caught Trey’s unmistakable masculine scent. Snuggling contentedly against him, she reveled in his whispered words.

“I love you, Kayla. I will always love you. You are mine and only mine.”

“Yes,” she agreed. “Only yours.”

CHAPTER 25

Illusive fate

Lee hung up the phone and stared at it, though not really seeing it. Luke ventured into the den, saw his pensive expression, and asked, “What’s up? Who was that on the phone?”

“It was my former agent, Morey.”

“Still after you to go back in the ring?”

“Yeah, but that call wasn’t about going back in the ring. It seems there’s a company that used to be one of my biggest sponsors saying they’ll kick in the big bucks for the upcoming St. Jude’s Hospital benefit if I make a personal appearance at the big charity drive they’re having in Memphis.

“I know Morey has probably promoted the idea, thinking that if they could get my name before the public again, get me back in the loop somehow, I’d probably go back to wrestling and bring in the dough like I used to. I’m pretty sure that’s his thinking. Hell, I don’t
need
the money.

“But regardless of how it’s come about, the cause is the best and, according to Morey, I just have to show up for a press talk beforehand and put in a brief stage appearance, maybe just imply I’m considering returning to the ring, without obligating myself. Then full coverage will be devoted to the hospital and the charitable gift from that company. So, how can I say no to something like that?”

“The man knows how to push your buttons, Lee.”

“That he does. He knows I have a soft spot for sick kids.”

“Well, I know St. Jude Hospital is certainly a worthy cause, but even without your doing this, Lee, people are going to donate. So it doesn’t rest on your shoulders. If you don’t want to do it, just decline.”

“I know I could, but I just feel like I should do it. Besides, right now, with Kayla going through what she’s going through, might be the best time to cut out for a few days and give her more space. Harm is better at comforting her than either of us, anyway.”

“But I’ll be around, too.”

“Well, I was kinda hoping I could talk you into going to Memphis with me, Luke. I told Morey about you and the way you play the guitar and write songs. He asked if you had a song appropriate for the fund raiser, and I said you did, that you’d be a great opening act for me to come on and tell the audience that, just like the song you sang, the need was great, the cause important, and the reward everlasting.”

“You
what
?” Luke asked incredulously. “Lee, what the hell! I don’t have a song about that.”

“Well, write one. You’ve got a week. I have to give Morey my answer by then.”

“A week? A whole week to make up a song to be sung on TV? Thanks for the vote of confidence, Lee, but what if I come up empty?”

“You won’t. I know you’ve got the talent to do this, Luke. I have faith in you, even if you don’t, and who knows? This could be the big break you’ve been waiting for, man. Your name will be out there and your song, with international media coverage, the whole works.”

“Damn, Lee. I don’t know whether to thank you or cuss you out.”

Lee laughed. “While you’re deciding, grab your guitar and put your songwriting cap on, man. And I’ll go run this by Kayla. I know what she’ll say, though. She’ll want us to go.”

“Speaking of Kayla. Have you noticed how pale she is lately? And how often she gets sick?”

“Yeah. I’m worried about her. Her nerves are shot. But I’m beginning to think it’s more than just grieving over the loss of J.J. She’s really in a funk. You know what they say about physicians healing themselves? Well, maybe that goes double for psychiatrists.”

“Guess it’ll just take time for her to get over what happened to J.J. and that Trey character. Can’t say I was too broken up about someone giving him a beating. I wanted to do that myself. Wish to God he’d never come to town.”

“Reminds me of what my grandma used to say,” Lee said. “‘If wishes were fishes, we could feed the multitude.’”

“Wow, you had a philosophical grandma. Mine only made cookies,” Luke quipped.

Harm ventured in about then and, catching the tail end of their conversation, asked, “What about cookies?”

“We were just comparing grandmas,” Lee offered with a chuckle. “Where’s Kayla?”

“She’s taking a nap.”

Lee related the news of the benefit to Harm and how he had more or less obligated Luke, too, and asked his opinion.

“I think it’s a great cause and you should probably do it, especially if you aren’t going to be pressured to return to the ring later. Like you said, it’s for the sick kids. You can’t get behind a better cause than that.

“As for you, Luke, I agree with Lee. You can write an appropriate song within a week, and it would be fantastic exposure for your music. So buckle down, man, and do it. Seems fate has opened a door. Time you walked through it. I’ll hold down the fort, so to speak, and keep Kayla safe. I know she’ll want you both to go. ”

“Guess I should speak with her about it first,” Lee said.

“Trust me, Lee. She’ll want you to go. Make the plans.”

Lee nodded. “You’re right. I should go. So, Luke, are you with me?”

Luke shrugged. “Fate, huh? Over the years I’ve been in Nashville, bashing my head against that brick wall of indifference, I’ve come to think of it as illusive fate. Hard to believe it might finally be opening a door for me. But hell, guess I’d better get my guitar and, as you said, Lee, put my thinking cap on.”

“Great!” Lee said, slamming him so hard on the shoulder, he nearly knocked him down. “Sorry. I sometimes forget my own strength.”

Rubbing his shoulder, Luke joked, “Son-of-a-bitch, Lee, you’ve gotta learn to pull your punches. You almost messed up my picking arm.”

Luke left the room laughing, and Lee settled next to Harm on the couch. “Do you think I’m putting too much pressure on him?”

“No. I think Luke might have needed this push.”

“I guess you’re right. Say Harm, what do you think about Kayla? I mean, the way she isn’t snapping out of this, whatever this is?”

“I think she’s in a state of depression. I’ve never seen her like this, and I’m a little worried. Maybe she needs some professional help.”

“Yeah, me and Luke were just saying that. I don’t know what to do to help her or if she’d even consent to getting help.”

“I’ll suggest it. Other than that, there’s nothing we can do except be here for her. This is something she’s going to have to work through herself, I’m afraid.”

“You think a lot of it has to do with that Trey Cameron?”

“Yeah, I think he has a lot to do with it. She’s in love with him, Lee.”