Authors: S.K. Munt
‘He’s our lead singer.’ Nick stated this matter-of-factly, but not abrasively. Like he’d seen this moment coming and wasn’t about to let it steamroll them. ‘That’s his job; to sing lead.’
Hunter looked at Ryan, frowned, and then back to Nick. ‘He was…’ he said slowly. ‘Until you asked me to step up at the Battle when Ryan was late.’
‘I was a minute late,’ Ryan muttered, crossing his arms across his chest and lifting his chin defiantly. ‘And don’t even try and act like that was a favor you did me man. You enjoyed every second of that set.’
‘So did the crowd,’ Hunter shot back, turning on his friend. ‘They enjoyed it more than they’ve enjoyed us before- with me singing lead. We were chosen to open for The Fork In The Road because of me, and you fucking know it.’
Callie cringed, feeling Hunter’s bandmates bristle in offense.
Nick was the one who spoke first. ‘We were all on that night Hunter. It’s this little thing called harmony. You were excited to take the spotlight for the first time and so you performed amazingly-’ he paused. ‘But so did we all. Opening for TFITR isn’t going to be like that. There are going to be thousands of people, not a couple of hundred, and they’re going to be watching us with a: Get on with it so we can see who we paid to see! attitude that you are gonna feel like oil in your guts.’ He glanced at Ryan, then Callie, almost apologetically as though he was embarrassed for Hunter pulling a diva tantrum. ‘We need someone fronting us who is a bit more seasoned. After that gig, maybe we can switch it up a bit, but doing originals is going to be hard, unlike the battle, where we were feeding them their jukebox shit.’
‘It won’t be hard for me.’ Hunter said tersely. ‘I’ll nail it.’
But Nick sighed. ‘I know you have this big fantasy in your head to singing your song to a massive crowd and walking off the stage covered in panties but Hunter… come on man, be realistic! Ryan’s our frontman because he’s better, okay? And we need the best.’
Hunter paled and Callie wanted to reach out squeeze his hand and yet she knew that he had to fend for himself. She wanted Hunter to take the lead, but how could she know if that was the best decision? She was a Muse, not a guardian angel. She wasn’t trying to shield him, but inspire him. Besides, no one liked a Yoko, who Calliope had once actually tripped over on a busy New York street.
‘I thought I was being realistic.’ Hunter said, after an awkward moment of silence. ‘I thought I proved myself last Friday by being thrown in the deep end, on a very important night, while the guy whose job I was doing was possibly off stealing my girl.’ He shot Ryan a dark look. ‘If I sang that well under that kind of pressure, who are you guys to say that I won’t repeat it? That I’m not the best?’
‘Um for what it’s worth, I don’t doubt that Hunter could do it,’ Rathe piped up nervously glancing from Ryan to Nick, then longingly back at the sheet music as he slid his fingers over his unplugged J-bass. ‘But I know that Ryan will.’
‘Just like you ought to know that I won’t have to drop any keys to hit that bridge hard.’ Hunter smirked at Ryan. ‘Range is what it is, you know? Why play it safe, when we could rock it out?’
Callie almost groaned, wanting to smack Hunter upside the head. Bragging wasn’t going to win him any points!
But Ryan did not flinch in offense. He circled the studded leather cuff on his wrist, studying it thoughtfully. ‘Yeah, you’ve been rocking life in general lately, haven’t you man? Great gig, great song, great victory-’ he darted Callie a wistful look and then added: ‘Great girl.’ He stood then, adjusting his guitar strap over his shoulder. ‘And I’m the schmuck who played it safe and gets to eat your dust. So before I hand over the microphone too, is there anything else you’d like to take from me? Should I gift you the piano as well? Should I move out of our place completely and keep paying all the rent?’ He was looking back at Hunter. ‘Or is taking my place onstage going to be enough for you?’
Callie winced and so did Hunter. The guilt in his expression looked as painful as the ache in Callie’s chest.
‘Don’t drag our personal lives into this man,’ Hunter said. ‘You’re the one who didn’t want to slum it somewhere I could afford to live. If you want me to move out so I don’t keep cramping your style then just fucking say it instead of trying to make me look like an asshole!’
Ryan scowled. ‘Maybe you could afford to pay the rent if you actually went and you know, got a job. Grew up. Aimed a little higher than a one bedroom cockroach trap on the south side.’
‘Big words from a guy living off the dead father he didn’t like.’
Ryan towered over Hunter. ‘Hard words for a guy who doesn’t know what it is to get cash instead of a father!’ He scowled. ‘Do you know who bailed me out of the clink after Callie ran, Hunter? Not my dad- Marnie. Using the only college tuition money she had saved.’
Callie felt like she was going to be ill, and she suddenly wanted to find Marnie and squeeze her tightly, to weep with gratitude. She’d never seen Hunter and Ryan fight like this before and it was disconcerting. They were aiming low and hard and she didn’t know which was worse than the other.
Hunter stepped up to Ryan. ‘How is that my fault? If you wrack your fucking brain, you’ll remember that I was the one who put a roof over your head when your folks jetted off and left you alone like a mournful dog.’
Ryan shoved him. ‘So you could throw it back in my face down the track? Gee thanks Hunter. I’m really feeling the love- and I’m also feeling how good you’re gonna look in that Pizza Hut uniform, to help get us a new amp.’
Hunter’s jaw clenched. He didn’t shove back, but he glanced at Callie, smiled tightly, and then rose his eyebrows at Ryan. ‘It’s not my love you want though is it Ryan? That’s your fucking problem! I got her, you want her, so you’re just trying to pay me back by hogging the limelight even though, deep down, you must know that I can do this better than you.’ He poked Ryan in the chest, right in the heart. ‘Just like I do Callie better than you could hope to.’
‘Hunter!’ Callie was shocked that he could be so cruel, and sickened by the way Ryan’s face spasmed. But Hunter didn’t even look at her. His fists were clenched, his eyes sharp and flat as he stared Ryan down. Every muscle in each of the men’s bodies was taut with testosterone and Callie stepped back, ready to flee in case one of those balled fists flew into the other.
‘Actually…’ Ryan wet his lips, his posture relaxing. ‘That is my issue Hunter. You got her all right. Question is, what do you want more?’ He indicated to the piano. ‘The stage, or the girl?’
Callie’s hand rose to her mouth, ready to shield the scream building up inside her.
Hunter frowned, looking confused. ‘What kind of question is that?’
Ryan ran a hand through his hair. ‘It’s not a question so much as an offer, Hunter. Let’s let Callie see your True Colors, hmm? Can you rock that ballad too?’ He stepped right to Hunter’s chest, looking him in the eye. ‘What if I offered to give you the microphone, if you gave up the girl? What would you do?’
Hunter’s eyes widened. ‘That’s irrelevant!’
‘No it’s not.’ Ryan held the sheet music out to Hunter. ‘Nick and Rathe are only standing up for me because they’re trying to keep things tight, but it’s clear that you’re gonna try and rip us apart with your ego anyway, so here. Have your song. Take the spotlight.’ He shoved the music at Hunter and stepped back, pointing to Callie when he said: ‘But look Callie in the eyes right now, and admit to her that you’ve got what matters most to you in your hands already.’
Callie felt the blood drain from her face as Hunter looked from Ryan then to her, then to the sheet music in his hands in confusion.
‘Oh fuck me…’ Nick groaned, resting his elbows on his drums and staring at Hunter and Ryan through his fingers, like he couldn’t look away but couldn’t stand to watch.
Callie could hear each tick of the second hand of the clock across the room in the silence following Ryan’s declaration. She didn’t know if she wanted to kiss him for caring for her so much that he’d relinquish the microphone, or slap him for putting his best friend on the spot like that. Her spot: Love or music? To her, being thousands of years old, it wasn’t a no-brainer, but for a weak-willed fame-seeking musical prodigy like Hunter with that unmarred soul? It had to be torture.
After the longest moment, Hunter placed the sheet music down on the piano, shaking his head. ‘It’s not a fair choice…’ he mumbled. ‘I’m not playing this game.’
‘Well for me, it’s a clear choice.’ Ryan intoned softly, looking at Callie again with longing in his eyes. ‘And it always has been.’
Callie looked away, feeling her heart squeezing painfully in her chest. She was sick of looking at what she could never have. Hunter was golden, like Ardos, vibrant and primal and swollen with his own self-assuredness whereas Ryan looked like he might live or die for want of her and she ached to hold him. It was like choosing a favorite song, between a ballad and an anthem. Except the only choice Callie had was to get the hell out of their lives. So was now that time? She swallowed, leaning down to pick up her bag.
‘Thanks for letting me sit in on practice guys,’ she said in a hollow voice, slinging the bag over her arm. ‘But I think from now on, I’ll wait for the album.’
‘Callie don’t go-’ Hunter came after her, pulled her back against him. ‘Come on, things get tense sometimes. This is how we work stuff out.’
Callie jerked herself out of his grip and cast him a backwards glance. ‘No, pulling on the opposite ends of a toy is how toddlers work things out, Hunter. What you two have just done is leave rope burns all over me and I’ve had enough!’ He reached for her again but she stepped back, holding up her hands. ‘Don’t!’
Hunter hands lifted helplessly. ‘What? Why not? You’re my girl and you’re upset-’
‘I’m not your girl.’ Callie said coldly. ‘You two want to scuffle over a grammy? Go for it. But I’ll be in the audience watching, not backstage.’
Hunter’s eyes widened, wounded. ‘What are you saying?’
Callie swallowed, mentally commanded her heart to go play Uno or something and hugged her bag to her chest, using it as a shield between herself, and her protégé. ‘I’m saying: you paused, Hunter.’ She swallowed again, blinking back tears. ‘Ryan asked you to choose between me and the lead, and you fucking paused.’
‘No!’ Hunter exclaimed. He lurched after her but she stepped back agains so his hand fell uselessly. ‘I said no Callie.’
‘No you didn’t.’ She smiled sadly. ‘You said you wouldn’t make the choice. And the fact that either of you thinks that surrendering the microphone for a girl is even an option makes me realize just how little you know about me, and where my passion lies.’ She shrugged. ‘You’re not artists. You’re both spoiled brats who don’t understand that without harmony, there is no music.’
‘Hear hear!’ Nick yelled. ‘Shit Cal, we could use that attitude on board. Why don’t you take the lead and we’ll give these too a recorder and a kazoo to use in the back?’
Callie smirked despite the tears sliding down her face. Hunter’s silent anguish was almost intolerable. His pain was palpable, silently reaching for her even though he remained frozen on the spot. ‘I probably should. At least when I sing a song-’ she let her eyes lock on Hunter’s again. ‘I mean it.’ She included Ryan in her dirty look. ‘Get your shit together guys. And leave me alone until you do.’
‘Callie!’ Hunter’s voice was pitchy, panicked. He took her wrist and swung her back into his arms, cupping her face to cover it with kisses and almost jolting her tears free. ‘I don’t want us to end! I only just found you again.’
Callie closed her eyes, feeling her nose burning as the urge to cry overcame her and strangled her throat. ‘That’s true. But …’ she opened her eyes and forced herself to meet his stricken gaze. ‘Ry never left you, Hunter. Because you and I weren’t supposed to be an us- you two were. And I’m done getting in the way of that.’
And then she walked away.
Calliope did not care if half of her hair was in her Cosmopolitan. She was doing the only thing she had the heart to do; listen to Pete Murray somewhere dark and weep until her tear ducts either fell out or dried up.
‘For the love of…’ Imogen made an exasperated sound. ‘Calliope we get it okay? Being human sucks. But if your mood doesn’t make that singer play something that doesn’t make me want to die, I am going to shove tequila slammers down your throat until you become the party girl we all know and love. Or knew. Once.’
‘You know Imogen, this is all kind of your fault.’ A heavily-ringed finger petted Calliope’s head. ‘Get the crying out, sweet. It’s the only cure.’
‘Ooh Renee you’re so sensitive,’ Imogen hissed. ‘Let’s pretend that you’re not as bored out of your mind as I am, huh?’ A hand shook Calliope’s shoulder. ‘I mean it Callie, look alive! We did not all haul our asses here to attend a pity party!’
‘We didn’t?’ Hendra’s voice still sounded brittle, but the hand on Callie’s shoulder carried almost as much weight as any other would. ‘I thought that was exactly why we came here?’
‘I came here to get a good look at the crumpled perfection that was once the Muse of music,’ a sultry voice crooned, ‘and it’s like a car wreck, isn’t it?’
Calliope looked up then, sniffling. The restaurant was jammed pack with people and though the music was loud, Calliope knew that they weren’t supposed to use the ‘M’ word in a public place, and was surprised by how brazenly Raina had said it.
But looking at Raina hurt Calliope, because it reminded her of how glorious she had once been, before Imogen had demanded retribution. The Muse of Science was truly a sight to behold, her thick black hair streaked with bursts of color as bright as parrots wings around her face, her Grecian skin bronzed to a shade nearer to ebony. Everything about her was lush, like she was an Amazon about to sprint through an Olympic ribbon while stopping to pose for a make-up commercial. Though Calliope had never had Raina’s stature, shoulders broad, height dead on six feet, muscled and powerful, she’d once had an equally powerful aura about her, she could remember it now, remembering staring into her reflection and swelling with accomplishment. Calliope had been the one to fly, to grin, to swoop- and Raina had been in a constant state of anxiety as everything she attempted to inspire was met with doubt or rejection. Music had been important since the dawn of time, but Science? No one had worked harder than Raina, or accomplished more.
But they’d never been rivals. In fact, they’d helped one another and had both found their footing within the previous century, and the odd-looking mp3 player attached to buds in Raina’s ear was testament to how they’d gone in different directions since the estrangement. As a human, Callie had almost reviled technology and now, she wondered if maybe the Muse within her had sensed that Raina’s strides were growing too long for Calliope to ever match again?
‘I know I look like hell…’ Calliope sniffled and glanced at the seven faces surrounding her. Her seven sisters had come to visit her within the human realm; most had been there on missions already but for Hendra, but it was still a very exciting outing, and a rare one, and Callie felt guilty to see how they slumped over their empty plates looking dejected now. ‘I was doing better. But then just before I came to meet you, I got a call from an old friend of mine, Marnie? Anyway, she’s in town for the concert Saturday and it’s her twenty-fifth birthday tomorrow night and she says she wants to celebrate it up at the gorge… and she wants us all there.’ Calliope swallowed hard, just imagining the torture of enduring an afternoon with Hunter only a week after having broken up with him. From all accounts, he was not handling it well. And Calliope was certain that she was handling it worse.
And it looked like she’d failed at the heartbreak thing too. Hunter was upset- but according to Marnie, he’d seemed utterly convinced that it was just a bump in the road they’d get over, and quickly. So she’d have to find a way to drop the gavel again- this time on his optimism.
‘So?’ Imogen didn’t even attempt to cover her yawn. ‘If you don’t want to run into your honey’s, blow it off.’
‘You know she can’t.’ Thespia looked irritated. ‘And Imogen maybe we’d all have given you the sympathy you needed when you lost your protégé, if you pretended to have a heart now.’
‘Calliope broke my heart.’ Imogen said stiffly. Then she winked at Callie. ‘Just not Hunter’s… must be losing your edge, sister.’
‘No I’ve just lent it to you. Try to wash the bitch off it before you return it, hmm?’ Callie snapped.
Everyone laughed. Even Imogen. But Thespia turned back to Calliope, her brown braids swinging out. ‘I know you feel lost but you have just got to reach into that part of yourself that’s overcome things worse than this and grip onto it until this concert is over.’
‘If it’s even the concert that’s going to get Hunter where he needs to be! I just don’t know! And I don’t know that my heart won’t self-destruct before then!’
‘It’ll be the concert, and you just need to get that guard up a little higher.’ Hendra said confidently. ‘And we’re all staying- at a safe distance- until you see this through.’ She cast a discerning eye over her sisters. ‘Right girls?’
‘Right.’ Renee said.
‘Right.’ Thespia squeezed her hand.
‘Be ruthless.’ Urania said with a wink. ‘I sunk Macintosh for its own good. It hurt, but it’ll be worth the resurrection- and so will Hunter, trust me.’
‘Whatever.’ Imogen reached for a chicken wing and dragged it through the thick black sauce. ‘I don’t see where the fire is, you’re handling this better than you think. I mean, you’re not swallowing pills or anything.’ She licked the sauce off the tip of the wing. ‘I was way worse than you. Granted, my guy was dead, but I was a total Thespian about it.’ She glanced at Thespia. ‘No offense.’
‘Yeah right.’
‘But these humans…’ Imogen rolled her eyes. ‘They’re so pathetic aren’t they? I mean, Harley killed himself over you, robbed the world of his gifts, and why? Because he was infatuated! Humans don’t know what real love even is! I was matched for him almost perfectly and who did he go for? The one who rocked his world under the covers! And when he thought he wasn’t going to get it anymore- boom! It disgusts me.’
‘What an awesome moment of insight,’ Raina snickered at Calliope. ‘Just, you know, twenty-five years too late for this one.’
‘Hey!’ Imogen wagged a chicken wing at her sister. ‘It’ll never be Poor Calliope on this matter. I’m not saying my pain wasn’t real. I’m saying, it was beneath me.’
Calliope frowned at her sister. ‘What do you mean by: ‘Rocked his world under the covers,’ Imogen? Harley thought his heart was breaking because of my gifts, didn’t he? My aura or whatever.’
‘Oh please.’ Imogen rolled her eyes. ‘After three thousand years, I think we’ve all worked out what your most special gift is…’
‘That is not a gift!’ She was mortified. ‘It was a past time.’
‘No honey, loosely translated, Muse Of Music basically means you can keep three different rhythms with your hips at once.’ Thespia giggled. ‘Not to downplay my own skills or anything, but if anyone of us has that as a gift, it sure isn’t Mrs Polyhymnia!’
‘Hey!’ Imogen’s face stretched into a mischievous smile. ‘You don’t know that. She was a good hummer after all!’
Hendra giggled. ‘Except she was too pious to put her lips on anything that wasn’t sacred!’
Renee let out a shriek of laughter. ‘No wonder she’s the only one of us who’s tied down- it was her first offer!’
Raina’s hand clamped over her mouth but it could not conceal her snort. On the seat beside her, Thespia fell onto Raina’s shoulder, lost in silent laughter.
‘Wait does this mean that I’m vanishing because I’m crap in bed?’ Hendra demanded beside Callie. ‘Great! I need a book or something!’
Imogen raised a finger. ‘I might have one. In fact you could say that I wrote the-’
Everyone groaned and tossed napkins and sauce sachets at Imogen, who brought her hands to her face and covered it, giggling at her own joke. Even Callie was laughing, so hard she had one arm nursing her stomach. She wiped tears of laughter from her eyes. ‘I can’t believe you guys are telling me that I’ve had such a wonderful streak because I just so happen to be good at something this body has only done a few times.’
‘Oh honey that body is as untouched as Polyhymnia’s in comparison to what your celestial body has um, gone through...’ Renee drawled.
‘Or who!’ Imogen quipped.
Callie scrunched up her face, but the recollections of her time with other men were hazy and fleeting, like she was running through scenes she’d seen in movies. Clio had assured her that when her powers were restored, it would all become clearer, but Calliope wasn’t so sure that she wanted that kind of clarity! And just then the musician launched into Mustang Sally and the girls all began to shriek with laughter anew. Calliope’s face had never been more on fire. She giggled her last and then asked: ‘Have I… you know… Ardos?’
Six faces blinked at her.
Imogen cocked her head. ‘Was he a singer…?’
Callie was surprised. ‘No! Ardos the one-’ she motioned to the ceiling.
Imogen’s eyebrows knitted together, and then her forehead smoothed out. ‘Oh! The waterfall guy?’
‘Waterfall guy?’ Calliope echoed, lost.
‘The one that was hanging around at the gorge vision you sucked us all into.’ Imogen went on quickly. ‘Your “Soul Mate” ’ She bent her fingers in quotation marks around the word. ‘And no you haven’t anything with him Callie.’ She leaned back against her chair. ‘Most of us have only met Ardos in the last few weeks, so we’re hardly on a first name basis with him. His visibility to us- even to you- is dependent on how often you think about him, or interact with him.’
Callie sunk into the memories pulling on the threads of her sub-conscious. Fingers tapping her shoulder, a fist tugging playfully on her hair but so much that it actually hurt, the sound of someone following her around and playing guitar, badly-like a deluded child, strumming as often as he beat the side just to piss her off with his lack of ability; of all of the Muses soul mates, Ardos was the only one Calliope had ever seen, well aside from Polyhymnia’s mate who was as corporeal as any of them on earth since they had mated and Josiah, who had shimmered into view beside Hendra at the gorge.
Ardos had literally forced himself into mass, his face slowly taking shape with every encounter of theirs. She could even remember the first time she’d seen his face- he’d tripped her over and she’d turned and swung at him. To her amazement, he’d yelped and lifted his hands to cover his now perfect -and bloody- nose! The memory she knew, used to piss her off. Now, it made her smile. ‘He’s kind of sly, you know…’ he was so sweet and attentive when I first went to Helicon in this state, and though he said that I was mean, he forgot to add that he’d been a constant thorn in my side!’
‘That he was!’ Hendra chuckled. ‘I actually know him better than you girls do. I think those of us who aren’t as corporeal can see one another easier. They’re all always milling about up there, waiting…’ She darted a look at Imogen. ‘Except for yours, Imogen. Nikolaos? That poor bastard hasn’t got two breezes to rub together when he moves.’
‘Well ssh! I like it that way!’ Imogen flipped her hair over her shoulder and leaned over to take a delicate sip of her drink. ‘Girls I am responsible for the greatest love stories of all time. A man has got to do a lot more than wait around for me like a sad puppy if he wants my attention and Nicky, if that’s his name, is not going to measure up to Heathcliff, Romeo, Mr Darcy or Gatsby any time soon.’ She bubbled her lips dismissively. ‘I’ll bet he doesn’t even read. How educated where these sheep herders anyway?’
‘Actually, Nikolaos was a king.’ Hendra winced. ‘I sort of got him into hot water two days into his reign. His army won the battle, but he was killed trying to steer his horse away from a hole in the dirt that would have broken its leg. The horse survived, but he was thrown.’
Everyone stared at Hendra, and Callie was wondering if they were all thinking what she was- that Black Beauty was Imogen’s favorite book of all time.
‘Really?’ Imogen raised one eyebrow. ‘That’s… kind of cool.’ Then she groaned and covered her eyes with her hands. ‘Okay don’t tell me anything else!’
‘How do I not know about this?’ Clio demanded.
‘Because we all spend so much time weighing the value of what we’ve accomplished as a whole, that we never remember the fallen kingdoms.’ Hendra said softly, then looked at Calliope. ‘Or the songs that failed and broke only the artist’s heart, or the books that went unpublished, or the art that was ridiculed, or the hymns that lost their glory…’ She focused on Raina. ‘You’re all doing so well, accomplishing so much! But these multiple victories are numbing you all to the pleasure you used to glean from a single step forward.’ She looked down at her hands and shrugged. ‘If it weren’t for Clio ensuring that History is still a very relevant subject in school, which revolves mostly around wars, I might be in Oblivion right now with Lania. So I spend my time contemplating the essence of what we’ve done, rather than the progress.’
‘Records,’ Calliope whispered. She met Raina’s eyes. ‘You need to help me out there, when I’m out of this debacle. I agree that what you’ve inspired is wonderful-’ she motioned to the mp3 player. ‘But it doesn’t sound the same as a seventy-nine.’