Uncle John’s Unsinkable Bathroom Reader (87 page)

June:
The
June Boötids
arrive in late June, peaking on June 27—and you never know how many meteors are going to show up. Often it’s very few…but sometimes it goes crazy, with more than 100 an hour. Bonus: The particles in this comet trail are moving at about 16 kilometers per second—not very fast in the comet-debris world—making for slow, lazy meteors.

August:
The
Perseids
last from around July 20 to August 22, peaking on the night of August 12th, when you can see from 50 to 80 meteors an hour. It’s named for the constellation
Perseus
. In 1864 it became the first meteor shower positively associated with a comet—the Swift-Tuttle, which orbits the Sun once every 156 years.

October:
In the early evening hours of October 9, 1998, millions of people in Japan looked up—and saw about 500 meteors an hour fill the sky for about two hours. They were the
Dracobinids
, named for the constellation
Draco
, and peak from October 8–10. NASA reports that in some years it can reach as high as
20,000
an hour.

Also in October:
The
Orionids
reach their highest output between October 20 and 22 and appear to emanate from the constellation
Orion
. These are some of the fastest meteors, zipping along at about 66 kilometers a second—often producing fireballs.

November:
The
Leonids
are associated with
Leo
, and show up every year between November 13 and 21, with the peak generally on the 17th. They’re known for their 33-year-cycles—the length of time their comet takes to make one orbit. Some years it causes meteor storms that are downright frightening: On November 12, 1833, an estimated
60,000 meteors an hour
filled the sky above the eastern portion of North America for about four hours before dawn. Many people thought the world was coming to an end.

December:
The
Geminids
come between December 12 and 14. Their corresponding constellation is, of course,
Gemini
, and they’re known for their multi-colored show—with white, yellow, blue, red, and green meteors—as many as 140 of them per hour—flying across the sky.

In the world of amateur recipe contests, the Pillsbury Bake-Off is the Nobel Prize, the Oscars, and the Kentucky Derby all rolled into one
.

H
OMEWARD BOUND
Shortly after World War II, Pillsbury’s ad agency was looking for a way to celebrate Pillsbury’s 80th anniversary and boost the sales of Pillsbury flour. American women were leaving the jobs they’d held during the war and heading back to the kitchen. So why not hold a recipe contest, with cash prizes big enough to attract the attention of both women and the media? Thus was born the “Grand National Recipe and Baking Contest,” held in 1949 at the Waldorf=Astoria Hotel in New York City.

Fifty thousand dollars for the grand prize is a healthy sum, even today, but in 1949 it was a fortune (an additional $20,000 was to be divided among eight other finalists), and contestants flocked to enter what the press dubbed the “Bake-Off Contest”—a nickname that Pillsbury adopted as the contest’s official title. Thousands of recipes poured in. A group of home economists read every one and winnowed them down to 100 finalists. The Waldorf’s ballroom was transformed into a gigantic kitchen with 100 electric ovens (using power drawn from the New York City subway system), and the 97 women and 3 men went to work. The first grand-prize winner was Mrs. Ralph E. Smafield of Rockford, Illinois. Her winning recipe: No-Knead Water-Rising Twists.

By 1949 standards, the event was expensive to produce, and Pillsbury stockholders were dubious about its value. But research showed that the publicity brought in around 700,000 new customers, so the contest was held annually right up through 1976, when it changed to every other year. The grand prize is now a whopping $1 million.

In the booming postwar 1950s, most entries were made-from-scratch cakes, pies, cookies, yeast breads, and quick breads. The labor-intensive entries reflected the belief that women were predominantly homemakers with time to bake fancy cakes (like the
1951 winner, Starlight Double-Delight Cake) and homemade breads (like the Ring-a-Ling Rolls that won in 1955).

But by the 1960s, women had begun to work outside the home again, and time-saving and convenience were major issues. So the rules changed: Contestants were allowed to use cake mixes, refrigerated biscuit dough, frozen vegetables, processed cheese, and canned goods, and Pillsbury encouraged recipes for everyday, easy-to-prepare food. The 1963 grand-prize winner, for example, was Hungry Boys’ Casserole; the 1967 winner was Muffin Mix Buffet Bread. Tunnel of Fudge Cake, a 1966 finalist, set off a national craze for Bundt pans and Bundt cake mixes.

•
1970s.
Entries started showing an international flavor, though the winners generally didn’t—judges were still leaning toward old-fashioned baked goods like Pecan Pie Surprise Bars (1971), Banana Crunch Cake (1973), and Whole Wheat Raisin Loaf (1976).

•
1980s.
Entries reflected affluence and an interest in sophisticated entertaining, such as the elegant Chocolate Praline Layer Cake (1988), as well as a swerve toward “healthy” eating—recipes used chicken instead of beef, and more vegetables, like Italian Zucchini Crescent Pie (1980), Broccoli Brunch Braid (1988), and Chick ’N Corn Mini Pies (1984).

•
1990s.
Ethnic recipes like Cheesy Chile Polenta (1998) and Fiesta Chicken Salad (1996) were now firmly entrenched, and the quick-and-easy approach, using more and more convenience foods, was almost taken for granted: In 1998, for example, there was Fresh Pear Salsa made in two steps with only six ingredients, Easy Bruschetta Snacks made in five steps with six ingredients, and Apple Cobbler Cake in four steps with six ingredients.

•
2000s.
Lots of experimentation with unusual combinations of foods and flavors like Papaya-Raisin Steak Rolls in Mojo Sauce (2006), or Raspberry-Chipotle Barbecue Chicken Pizza (2008).

In the beginning, the only required ingredient for a Bake-Off recipe was ½ cup of Pillsbury flour. After all, if you were proud of your baking, you baked from scratch with basic ingredients like flour, butter, eggs, and sugar. Today it’s a different story.

Modern entrants are required to use at least one ingredient from “List A” (products made by Pillsbury) and another ingredient from “List A”
or
“List B” (mostly products made by that year’s Bake-Off co-sponsors). In 2008 List A was a catalog of Pillsbury convenience foods—refrigerated biscuits and rolls, refrigerated pie and pizza crusts, 12 varieties of brownie mix, and Old El Paso taco shells. List B included Green Giant frozen vegetables, Jif peanut butter, Smucker’s jams and ice cream toppings, and Crisco oils. Smart contestants have learned to build their recipes around Pillsbury products and work in some co-sponsor products, too.

Contestants submit recipes in any of several categories. In 2006 the categories were Cooking for Two, Brand New You (a reference to healthier eating), Dinner Made Easy, Wake Up to Breakfast, and Simple Snacks. In 2008 they were Breakfast & Brunches, Pizza Creations, Entertaining Appetizers, Old El Paso Mexican Favorites, and Sweet Treats. Recipes must be original—anything that’s been published or has won a previous cooking contest will be disqualified (and Pillsbury has plenty of researchers checking up). One winner is chosen in each category; the grand-prize winner is chosen from the category winners.

Since 1996 the grand prize has been $1 million, doled out in 20 annual payments of $50,000. But there’s more: The grand-prize winner also gets a new GE oven and $7,000 worth of appliances. The winners in each category get $5,000 and a new oven. There are always a few other cash prizes too, like the GE “Imagination at Work” Award, worth $5,000.

Long before the actual Bake-Off, thousands of submitted recipes are scrutinized by an independent judging agency to be sure they meet contest requirements. That eliminates a lot of submissions. Then the recipes are read by home economists, who evaluate them on the basis of taste, appearance, creativity, consumer appeal, and the use of eligible ingredients. More eliminations. The final batch is professionally kitchen-tested for flavor and workability. Eventually the judging agency decides on 100 finalists and 10 alternates, who get the notification phone call around
the end of September. The contest takes place in April of the following year.

Bake-Off day starts with a crack-of-dawn group breakfast (if they’re not too nervous to eat) followed by the Grand March (clapping and yelling are required) into the enormous hotel ballroom. Their escorts: the Pillsbury doughboy with George Pillsbury—great-grandson of the company founder—and his wife, Sally. Each contestant is already wearing his or her official contest apron and nametag, and at 8:00 a.m. they sprint for a workstation—one of 100 mini-kitchens sporting an electric range and a 2' × 3' counter-top (but no sink). Each is supplied with enough equipment and ingredients to make their recipe three times: The best version goes to the judges, the next best is for photography, and the third is for other contestants and the press to sample. A runner stays nearby to help as needed, but for the next few hours the contestant’s total concentration goes into one thing: producing perfection.

And it’s not easy. From the moment the baking begins, reporters follow contestants relentlessly, filming them, interviewing them, and possibly even distracting them from the preparation of their recipes. When she’s finally got her dish the way she wants it, she places it on a tray and carries it—very carefully—out of the bustling ballroom and down a long, long corridor to the door of the judges’ room.

At 8:00 a.m. the nine judges are sequestered in a special room set up with tasting tables and a comfortable sitting area. But judging is not a leisurely process, since the first finished dish arrives around 9:00 and the rest follow in a steady stream. And it can become overwhelming as the dishes pour in faster than the judges can cleanse their palates with celery sticks. Each team of judges will taste as many different dishes as there are entrants in their assigned categories, then taste the best ones all over again. When they’re done with their own category, they taste the best ones from the other categories in order to arrive at a consensus and declare the winners. Tanya Wenman Steel, a 2008 judge, said, “We repeatedly asked questions like, would people make this in their own homes, did it have an original twist, did it look appetizing,
how easy was it to make, and, most importantly, was it delicious. We were about to award someone $1,000,000 so we took our responsibility very seriously.”

Ninety-two women and eight men made it to the finals of the 43rd Pillsbury Bake-Off in 2008. The grand-prize winner: Carolyn Gurtz of Gaithersburg, Maryland, with her recipe for Double-Delight Peanut Butter Cookies (made not from scratch but from a can of Pillsbury refrigerated peanut butter cookie dough). Gurtz was “absolutely shocked. When I looked at
all
the other entries, I don’t know how the judges picked just one.” Her six-ingredient recipe included one Pillsbury convenience food, four sponsor products…and cinnamon.

Who wins the PBO and why is the subject of a lot of conjecture in the amateur recipe contest world, and where there’s a prize as big as this one, conspiracy theories are bound to crop up. A few:

•
The Chicken-Sweet Theory:
In 1998 the winner was Salsa Couscous Chicken. In 2000 it was Cream Cheese Brownie Pie; in 2002, Chicken Florentine Panini. In 2004 it was Oats ’n Honey Granola Pie; in 2006, Baked Chicken and Spinach Stuffing; and in 2008, Double-Delight Peanut Butter Cookies. Chicken, sweet, chicken, sweet, chicken, sweet. Coincidence? Not according to conspiracy theorists. They’re convinced that the winning recipes always alternate between something with chicken and something sweet. Our advice: do
not
try to win with a chicken recipe in a sweet year (and vice versa).

•
The Crooked-Winner Theory:
Suspicious PBO followers were convinced that Anna Ginsberg, winner of the 2006 grand prize, was not the housewife she claimed to be. A former advertising exec, Ginsberg cleverly plotted her win, they said, by using information she received from someone closely connected to the Bake-Off, then inventing a recipe that used Pillsbury Dunkables—a failing waffle-stick product that Pillsbury was anxious to promote. Ginsberg’s winning recipe: Baked Chicken and Spinach Stuffing (2006 was a chicken year). The stuffing was made with Dunkables.

•
The Crooked-Employee Theory:
There’s also a good chance, say conspiracy theorists, that corrupt employees of Pillsbury and its
parent company, General Mills, give preferential treatment or provide inside information to select contestants in exchange for a piece of the pie…uh, cake…uh, winnings.

•
The Men Men Men Theory:
1996 was a banner year for men in the Bake-Off. Fourteen of them (the most ever) made it to the finals. Coincidentally, that same year the grand prize jumped to $1 million. And who won? A man. Kurt Wait was the first (and so far only) man to win the Pillsbury Bake-Off. But it was no conspiracy—Wait was an experienced cook who had won the grand prize in the Sutter Home Winery’s 1994 Build a Better Burger contest with a recipe for Portobello Burgers with Sun-Dried Tomato Mayonnaise. Wait’s winning PBO recipe: Macadamia Fudge Torte, made with Pillsbury devil’s food cake mix.