The confused expression on Gabriel’s face was not helping the matter. Did he think she was so naïve that she would not find out?
‘Olivia, I do not understand—’
A cold sweat spread across her skin. ‘You went to see that harlot again. Even after you promised you would remain faithful! You went to Madame LaGrange!’ She pushed against his marble-like chest with all her might.
‘Olivia—’
‘I smell her on you...on your coat! I will never forget that scent. It is the same horrid smell you stank of when you came to my bedside after Nicholas was born. How could you?’ Her voice wavered and she took another step back, needing to distance herself from him. ‘How could a man appear honourable one minute and so selfish the next? Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that you were not with her today?’
‘I cannot.’
‘My God! What is wrong with you? How many women do you need? Or is it just that you do not want me? I have heard about her. They say she does not take the men who come to her establishment to her bed except for you. Does she know that you were in my bed again? Or did you reassure her the same way you reassured me, that she was the only one you wanted? Do you offer her pretty sentiments to ensure that she is available when your needs arise?’
Her nails were cutting into her palms and she wouldn’t have been surprised if they were bleeding. ‘Do you have a lover’s eye of her tucked away somewhere?’
‘Olivia, stop.’
He went to grab her forearms, but she stepped back. ‘Do not touch me! I cannot believe a word you say. I was a fool to think I could trust you. Rest assured, it will never happen again.’
He opened his mouth to continue, but she couldn’t bear to listen to any more of his lies. And she needed to stop talking before her voice would catch and he would see just how close to tears she was.
‘Get out of this room, Gabriel.’
‘We need to talk about tonight—about the theatre.’
Had he even heard a word she said? A bubble of laughter escaped her lips. ‘Do you honestly believe I would be seen anywhere with you now? After this, the last place on earth I care to be is surrounded by the very people who probably watched you leave her house, or should I say brothel?’
‘If you would just listen to me for a moment—’
‘I am done listening to you, Gabriel. We have nothing more to say to one another.’ Walking towards the door, so he would not see her face, she opened it with a flourish.
‘We are not finished here, Olivia.’
‘Yes, Gabriel. Yes, we are.’
He hesitated before giving her a quick nod and striding out of her dressing room like a man with a purpose.
Slamming the door behind him, she collapsed to the floor, silently sobbing and wondering what it was about him that made her lose all rational behaviour and slip blindly back into wanting to trust him. Now she knew for certain, she could never trust him again. This was the last time she would allow herself to be hurt by him.
Chapter Eighteen
E
ntering his study to wait for Andrew was one of the hardest things Gabriel had ever had to do. He was fighting the need to turn around and march up the stairs to settle matters with Olivia. Things were not over between them. They couldn’t be.
She just needed time to calm down. When he spoke to her next, he would find a way to smooth things over between them. At the moment Prinny’s life was in eminent danger. That had to be his priority. And yet, his heart felt torn to ribbons at the pain he had inadvertently caused her. She didn’t deserve this.
He sucked in a deep breath and rubbed his eyes. How could he explain this to her? He wanted to tell her why he was at Madame LaGrange’s, but he just couldn’t. He swore to himself he would never do something like that again. It was much too risky.
He would find another way to settle this with her tomorrow. There had to be something he could say. At least he could console himself with not having to worry that Olivia would be in danger this evening. Ignoring the burning sense of guilt, Gabriel sat at his desk to draw a sketch of Janvier and waited for Andrew.
* * *
Olivia paced her room after allowing herself a half-hour to silently sob for the last time over Gabriel. How could she have been so stupid as to believe his sweet gestures and placating words? Was he even capable of devoting himself to only one woman? Her mother and sister had been right. Men only saw their wives as a means to an heir. They would never fall in love with them. Why would they, when men in their prominent positions could afford to have any number of women for their choosing?
He had appeared so sincere that it was easy to convince herself this time things would be different—that she mattered to him more than anyone else in the world, save Nicholas. He must have been very proud of himself that he’d duped her so easily. Obviously he had never worn that lover’s eye and he’d most likely placed it in his desk drawer after he caught her snooping around his study.
Olivia stormed over to the fireplace, picked up the poker and jabbed one of the unlit logs, wishing it were Gabriel’s head. She wasn’t certain who she was angry with more, herself or him.
She didn’t even try to hold back a loud groan as she tossed the poker aside. It landed on the carpet with a thud. Vowing to herself that she would conquer her feelings for him, she brushed her wet cheeks and rang for Colette.
She had put Gabriel behind her once before. She could do it again.
Her life these past five years had been a good one. If she wasn’t already with child, she would be content with Nicholas. This room was choking her. There were too many memories of their time together here. She glanced at her bed and ran her hands over her face, uncertain how she would sleep in it again. She could no longer reside in the same house with Gabriel.
Tomorrow she would call on her sister and see if she and Nicholas could stay with Victoria until she decided where they should go. It was too late in the Season to find a house in town. Perhaps she would go off to one of the estates. Time away from Town and any reminders of Gabriel would probably be for the best. If people thought it horrid that she should avoid her commitments to steal away, that was their concern, not hers.
Just as she began scanning the walls for the artwork she would take with her, she remembered her invitation to Janvier for the theatre and threw her head back. She was swearing off men for the future. None of them was worth her time.
She knew she needed to let Janvier know that she would not be attending tonight’s performance and give him a token for her box. As much as she had been looking forward to it for weeks, being surrounded by those people while feeling like she was the stupidest woman alive would be more than she could manage. She had intended to invite other friends to join them. At least she only had one person she needed to make an excuse to.
Walking through the doorway to her adjacent sitting room, she made her way directly to her escritoire prepared to write him a note. She could cry off with a headache or other such ailment. Picking up her pen, she stared at the blank paper. It lay there, mocking her.
Realising what she really needed was to get out of her house, she returned the paper to the drawer and decided to take the unprecedented step and go to his house instead.
* * *
Gabriel sat across from Andrew, resting his elbows on his desk and stabbing his fingers through his hair. His attention should be on the plans they were laying out on how they were going to catch Comte Janvier. And yet, whenever he tried to focus, his thoughts continued to turn to Olivia. Guilt was slashing his gut.
‘How can you be certain that a few enquiries about Drury Lane indicates Janvier plans to kill Prinny?’ Andrew asked. ‘Even you have to admit, the pieces of that puzzle do not seem to fit easily together.’
Gabriel blinked and rubbed his brow, bringing his brother back in focus. ‘I can’t tell you for certain why I think the coincidence is too great. I simply believe it is. I believe he was looking for a fast escape or a place to hide. Why else would he be interested in the floor plan of the theatre?’
Andrew sat back and cocked his head. ‘Some men might be interested in ideal locations for a tryst. Hart seems to find public venues rather stimulating. You know he is not the only one. Perhaps the Comte has plans to steal away with some fine bit of muslin.’
The image of Olivia entering Janvier’s coach flashed in his mind before he quickly dismissed it. ‘The man obtained the information from a harlot.’
Andrew shook his head. ‘And to you that means he cannot want to lift the skirts of another? Men have been known to tup more than one woman in the course of a week.’
‘Not all men,’ Gabriel replied more forcefully than necessary. ‘When you find the right woman for you, no other can take her place.’
Andrew stared at him as if he had spoken in a foreign language. ‘Are we still discussing Comte Janvier? I have the distinct impression we have moved on and are now discussing some other annoying gentleman.’
Gabriel stood and restlessly walked around the room, trying to pull all of his attention to the business at hand. He was having no luck.
Andrew turned in his seat and watched him. ‘Would you care to tell me what is wrong? It is simply a guess, mind you, but I think the conversation has turned to you and Olivia.’
‘She knows I was with Madame LaGrange this afternoon and says she wants nothing more to do with me ever again.’ The words were bitter on his tongue and Gabriel wished he could have said them without hearing her own voice saying them.
‘And you no longer wish to live in estrangement?’
He looked into the watchful eyes of his brother, the only person he trusted completely. ‘I cannot go back to living the way we had been.’
There was a hesitation before Andrew spoke. ‘I wish there was some wisdom I could impart to you right now, but I am far out of my element on this one. If you want to know who you should bet on in Friday’s race or which equipage will carry you the fastest I can help you with that. I can even go a round with you when you need to attempt to beat someone to a bloody mess. However, when it comes to this...’ He shook his head in pity.
Gabriel closed his eyes, to shift his thoughts away from Olivia. ‘I need you to trust my instincts regarding Janvier and not make me doubt the importance of my meeting with Madame LaGrange today. The Comte wants Prinny dead. I am certain of it.’
‘Very well, let’s spring a trap for him tonight and then you can find a way to woo Olivia back over breakfast.’
That was what he needed. His brother’s levity and confidence had him outlining his plan. ‘Everyone is expecting Prinny to attend the theatre this evening. However, we both know he is still confined to Carlton House. I’ll disguise myself as our Prince Regent and go to the theatre in his place. You and some of the others will mingle through the crowds and look for Janvier. Once you find him, observe him closely. The moment there is any indication he intends to cause harm, you need to stop him. And I would appreciate it if you would subdue the man before he manages to fire a shot at me.’
‘I took care of the last man who shot you, I will do my best to take care of this one before it comes to that.’
Their eyes held with the weight of what Andrew had done to protect him.
‘Take this sketch I drew of him. Circulate it amongst our agents so they are familiar with his face and send word to me in the royal box when you catch him.’
Andrew eyed him sideways. ‘You have too much to lose here if something should happen to you. I shall play the part of Prinny and place myself in harm’s way.’
Gabriel leaned forward. ‘I cannot ask you to do that. This is my duty. I will not put your life in danger and risk losing you. I would not be able to live with myself if I knew I was responsible for your death.’
‘You are not asking me, I am willingly volunteering.’
Before Gabriel could reply, the sound of a carriage rolling up to the house drifted in through the window and he strained his neck to peer outside. When his crest came into view, the hair on the back of his neck rose.
She wouldn’t.
Flying out of his chair, Gabriel raced to the door.
‘Where are you off to? Who has arrived?’
‘It’s Olivia, I need to stop her from leaving for the theatre.’
‘But the performance doesn’t begin for another few hours.’
‘It doesn’t matter. Our box is next to Prinny’s. She is not to be anywhere near that building tonight.’
Just as he entered the hall, a vision of solemn resolve descended the stairs, adjusting her gloves. Her cool expression was focused directly in front of her, even though Gabriel was certain she knew he was standing a few feet from the bottom of the staircase.
She went to walk past him, and he reached out, holding her forearm. The warmth of her skin, exposed over the top of her glove, burn every cell of his body. Their eyes met before she arched a condescending brow.
He didn’t release her. ‘Where are you going?’
‘I don’t see how that is any concern of yours,’ she replied, calmer than he expected.
‘Regardless of what you believe, your welfare does concern me.’
‘Then we have very different views on what that means. Release my arm, Gabriel.’
He tightened his grip. ‘Where are you going, Olivia?’
‘Why should it matter? Are you worried I’m heading for an assignation?’
The thought hadn’t entered his mind—that is, until Olivia had just firmly placed it there. He took a deep breath and tried to force the image from his head. She cocked her head to the side as if waiting for some response. Had she asked him a question? He was so focused on getting control over the mixed emotions running through his body, he had no idea.
She appeared to continue speaking. ‘Well, regardless, soon you will not have to concern yourself with my comings and goings. Tomorrow I will be leaving here with Nicholas. I find I can no longer abide residing under the same roof as you. Living apart seems a more agreeable option.’
‘Olivia, do not be foolish.’
Apparently by the look on her face that was not the correct response one said in this situation.
‘Gabriel, if you do not release my arm right now I will create such a spectacle that the servants and our neighbours will be speaking about it to their grandchildren years from now,’ she said calmly.
Knowing her to be a woman who did not issue idle threats, he lowered his hand.
Her gaze was direct and unwavering, and her expression held no emotion. It appeared as if she had long been resigned to the fact that this would have been the outcome of their reconciliation.
His skin grew cold and clammy. He was losing her and there was nothing he could say to her now that would mend this chasm between them—unless he told her everything.
If she knew about Madame LaGrange, knew
that when he was with her all he was doing was gathering intelligence, she would understand. She would see that he had never betrayed their marriage vows—not five years ago and not now. But to do that he would have to confide in her the identity of someone who worked for him. Memories of sitting in front of the fire confiding in his Uncle Peter came flooding back, making his chest ache. He swore he would never do that again with anyone.
She turned towards the door.
‘Olivia—’
‘I cannot do this any more, Gabriel. I have no strength left to listen to your lies.’ She accepted her cloak from a visibly uncomfortable Bennett and turned towards Gabriel with sadness and resignation in her eyes. Shaking her head, she rubbed her lips together. ‘You have not been a part of my life for the last five years. I shall have no problem removing you from my remaining years. And this time, I will do so while residing somewhere else. I will send word to Mr James of which of our houses I have chosen. Of course you are free to see Nicholas whenever you wish, but I will make arrangements not to be home when you do.’
Without waiting for a reply, she nodded to Bennett and walked out the door.
Ice spread through his body. She was walking out of his life and his gut was telling him it was for good. He needed to stop her. He needed to somehow fix this. And, he needed to do it now.
Gabriel took a step towards the door and heard his brother call his name, stopping him in his tracks. Demmit! Duty demanded that he go to the theatre to apprehend the Frenchman. This was what he had vowed to do. He was fighting the need to go after his wife when his father’s words echoed in his mind.
‘The responsibility is ours to protect the safety of our sovereign and our family. The personal sacrifices you will be forced to make will be a small price to pay for ensuring we will not endure what our friends in France had to. The lives of those you care for depend upon it.’
Living his life without Olivia was not a small sacrifice. Didn’t he deserve to be happy, too?
Andrew approached his side in the empty hall. ‘I can manage this for you, Gabriel. Let me impersonate Prinny. You need to trust that we can fulfil our duty even when you are not here. This operation needs to work without being solely dependent on one individual.’