Unconditional (14 page)

“Did she just encourage you to kick me or something?”

“Depends. Did you do something you need kicking over?”

He took a deep breath and stepped closer. “No. Will you let me explain?”

She shrugged, feeling like a dumbass.

“I was not a virgin when you came to Portland. You ought to know, I lost it with you anyway. She’s my past. On and off. Never serious.”

“Did you use a condom with her too?” Holy shit. Did she actually say that out loud?

He stilled. “What?”

“I don’t know an awful lot about shifters, but I do know they don’t get or give STDs and they can scent when a female is fertile so you guys don’t usually suit up. But when you’ve been with me you have. I’m not at the fertile part of my cycle. So is it a thing? Like you don’t want to be naked in me? Or what?”

It was like a bad dream where she was saying all this stuff and had no ability to stop herself. She finally put her hand over her mouth to stop.

She was mortified because, hello, that was not the time and place. Wolves all over the place and they probably heard.

She gathered her tattered self-control and faced him again. “This is not my first case and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t…I’m not prone to being jealous and saying stuff that is entirely inappropriate for the setting. I’m sorry. I’m so embarrassed.” She turned, her face in her hands.

He came to her, enfolding her, his front to her back. Given the very hard cock at her ass, he wasn’t upset with her at all.

“It’s all right. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. In fact, suffice it to say seeing you jealous and off balance actually makes me hot. Can we make this call to Owen and let them know what’s going on, and then you and I can go and talk? I’ll explain everything, I promise. Will you trust me enough to do that?” He kissed her temple and she leaned back against him.

“They all heard me. I wish a hole would swallow me up.”

He chuckled softly. “Beautiful, wolves are passionate. There’s lots of this stuff. All the time. I promise once we talk you’ll understand more.”

She dragged in a breath and agreed.

They made the call. In Seattle, Gage and Lark were both on it, along with Meriel Owen and her husband Dominic, who ran the Owen Clan of witches.

They were fairly tight lipped, but they did indicate they believed there was something larger at work. Some big bad they didn’t know a whole lot about but were looking into. They urged Rhonda and Gina to teach Michelle some healing and defensive spells and told them to introduce her to Cesare, one of the Portland witches who was apparently a whiz at battle spells. Which should help with her police work.

It was clear the witches in Seattle had an overflowing plate of trouble and they had to deal with this on their own. Which worried Michelle as she tried to imagine what would be worse than that spell she’d felt at the jail.

Things just kept getting worse. Darker and more overwhelming. Which, she supposed, helped her keep in perspective that she’d sort of acted like a jealous dick earlier within the supernatural hearing range of a house full of wolves.

Still, she kept her gaze averted as she ended the call. All around her there was conversation as she gathered her things. Gina hugged her and told her not to worry, Rhonda followed, whispering for Michelle to keep in touch.

They headed toward the front door as she fought a blush and met Tracy, Gabe and Nick’s eyes, thanking them for their help and support.

Tracy hugged her and spoke quietly. “Please don’t be embarrassed. It’s okay. I promise you.”

She mumbled more thanks as they left, Josh’s hand at the small of her back, guiding her to his car. They both remained quiet as he pulled away and headed back to his place.

Finally, once they’d been in the car a few minutes, Josh cleared his throat to speak, but before he could say anything, her phone rang and it was Dexter.

She blew out a long breath before she answered. “Slattery.”

“I’m going to overlook that little temper tantrum you threw earlier. HR tells me you put in for vacation?”

“Yes, sir. I have plenty coming.”

“I told you to leave this mess alone.”

“With all due respect, sir, it’s only been a few days. There is no reason to give up. Especially when I’m taking vacation time and not using department resources.”

“
You’re
a department resource. Chances are she’s run off with one of them. She’ll come back when she’s done, or when he dumps her.”

“You don’t know her at all. She would never, ever do that. And if your prejudice didn’t color your judgment here, you’d know that. The scene does not point to a woman who ran off with a lover. Her wallet and identification were left behind. Her bank account has been untouched. She left her phone behind. She did not leave of her own accord and there is no way she would have left without telling her mother, her job or me. She’s totally responsible. She’d never leave her patients. She’s not the person you’ve decided she is in your head. I’ve known her my entire life and I will not abandon her when she needs me the most.”

Josh put a hand on her knee. Comfort radiated through her system.

“You’re walking a dangerous line here, Slattery. Insubordination looks bad on your record. We need you back here. You need to return. Or don’t bother.”

“Are you threatening to fire me for taking vacation?” Thank heavens for her union which would fight that one big time.

“I’m saying you need to report back here and we can talk about our staffing needs and you can take vacation after we take care of that detail.”

All this nonsense simply because he wanted to control her! Hated Others so much that he was fine ignoring reality to bring her back and show her who held her leash.

“I filed my vacation like anyone else. I have the time. I’m taking it. If you wish to attempt the process of termination, you know who my union rep is. Now, as I’m officially on vacation, I’ll be hanging up. Sir.” And she did before she said anything else.

Normally she would have had to file papers to take vacation in advance. But when she’d called earlier, she’d checked and they’d given her an okay to take the time. Technically she had not broken any rules. And he was a bigoted asshole.

She made a quick call to her union rep and filled him in on the whole mess. He told her not to worry, that he’d handle it if and when Dexter made a move and would be in touch if that happened.

Josh pulled into his parking spot and turned to her.

“What can I do to help?”

“You’re doing it. I just…”

“Do you need to go back? Be honest.”

“I’m not going back. I’m not a dog on a leash. He’s out of line, and I don’t want that job if the reality means I’d ignore evidence because of my own prejudicial thinking. I’m not leaving until I find her. It hasn’t been that long, damn it.”

He pulled her into a hug and she held on tight.

“Come inside and let’s talk.”

Once they got inside he directed her to go change her clothes, which she had no argument with. She bundled into yoga pants and a sweatshirt with fluffy socks and left her hair in the braid she’d put it in after her shower earlier.

Back in the living room, he pressed a warm mug into her hands. “Tea with whiskey. Sit.”

She did and he followed, pulling her close. “I really wanted a different situation to talk to you about all this. You’re so stressed and it’s been such a horrible time.”

“Not knowing whatever it is just makes it worse. Be honest. I may not like it, but damn it, there are too many things I don’t know right now and it sucks.” She took a sip and hissed. “Dude, you sure didn’t hold back with the liquor.” But the warmth that spread through her was welcome so she took another sip and braced herself for whatever it was he was about to spill.

“I’m going to be detailed because I don’t know what you do and don’t know. So don’t be offended if I tell you things you already know.”

Michelle made one of those
get on with it
moves with her hand and he snorted a laugh.

“I don’t use condoms usually, no. I don’t because like you said, we don’t pass STDs and we can scent a female’s fertility.” He was so mad at Esme for that afternoon. She’d heard about his finding a mate because wolves were horrible gossips about that stuff, and when she’d learned he was at Tracy’s, she’d come to get a load of Michelle. Stupid.

It had pushed his timeline up and at a time when Michelle really didn’t need any added stress.

But it was what it was and he had to deal with it.

“Normally, aside from being messy, it’s not a big deal to have unprotected sex with another female. I generally don’t…haven’t sought out non-shifter females. As you pointed out before, it’s too hard to hide what you are. My life is wrapped up with my pack and other wolves. Anyway.”

“Oh my God, just say it. You’re killing me!”

The whiskey, which he’d added pretty liberally, had kicked in, and he tried not to smile at what a lightweight she was. Then again, he wasn’t able to get drunk without a lot of liquor so he might have given her a whole lot. Oops.

“Wolves mate for life. Werewolves too. It’s not so much like there is only one person on the entire planet, but it’s a rare thing to find that one person. When the male comes inside that female that starts the chain reaction that creates the mate bond. It’s magick of its own. It changes the DNA of the female. The bond between the mated couple is intense. They can feel the emotions of the other. There’s no one else after that. Neither mate would want it. For a wolf it’s a joy to find.”

He swallowed hard.

“I used condoms with you because you’re my mate.”

She blinked several times and gulped more of her tea before sitting up and putting the mug down. “What?” She stood and began to pace. “You used a condom because you didn’t want this supposed joy with me? You wanted it with the other one from Tracy’s house? Because I’m not a wolf is that it?”

He jumped up and moved to her. “No.” He took her upper arms to halt her in her tracks. “I wanted it from the first moment we hugged in that elevator and I breathed you in. When I tasted you when we kissed that first time. But you’re under so much stress and pressure, and I didn’t want to spring it on you. I wanted to wait until this thing had settled. Until I’d had some time to woo you a little. I’m messing this up but I want you. So much I don’t even know how to put it into words. That after these years, my mate comes into my life and it’s someone I’ve known for so long and already loved?” He tipped her chin up and brushed his lips over hers. “You’re my mate. And it
is
a joy.

“And in the interests of full disclosure, when the bond is created there’s a need for an anchor bond. For us, wolves I mean, it’s part of the process, but you’re not a wolf so it’s not something you’d have grown up with, or even know about. An anchor is like the third leg on a stool. The power of the bond between a mate pair is such that should one die it could drag the other into death or a mental break they couldn’t come back from. So for as long as our history has been passed down, we’ve had the tri-bond.”

“Which is?”

“After the two seal their bond, within two days it’s necessary for the female in the pair to have a sort of mating bond with another single male of equal or higher rank to the male in the pair.”

Her brows flew up. He knew how it sounded to outsiders, but he wanted, no he needed her to understand at least on some level how important and honored a situation it was.

“Every mated pair does it their own way. Sometimes all three people are there. Other times it’s just the female and the anchor. The anchor holds an important place in the lives of that couple. Not a romantic place,” he amended quickly. “I know you saw Tracy and Nick and Gabe and you might wonder. But what they have is exceptionally rare. Most of the time the anchor is like a best friend to the couple. A godfather to their kids. He comes to Thanksgiving and Christmas and the big holidays. And when that anchor mates himself, it’s generally hoped that the bonded pair opens up their family to the new mate. I know it’s a lot. Like I said, I’ve been wanting to tell you all this at a better time.”

“So I’d have sex with another dude. And you’d be down with that?”

“Admittedly, the idea is difficult to imagine now that it’s a reality. I’ve always held it to be a respected tradition and I see it all the time. It works. And it would protect you, which means everything. I know it’s shocking and maybe, most likely, outside of what you’d think was okay sexually. But it’s a beautiful thing and I’d be with you during the whole thing.”

Chapter Nine

“I don’t even know what to say.”

“I’m sorry this has to be sprung on you like this. I wanted to wait at least a few weeks before I told you. I know you have a lot going on in your head. A lot of stress and pressure. You’re it for me. I want you any way I can have you. Nothing has changed. Take the time you need to think on it.”

He knew deep down that she wasn’t going anywhere. When he’d seen her face as Esme had been touching him, the way she reacted had made his wolf preen. She was pissed off. A pissed-off woman was a magnificent thing to behold. At a distance sometimes. But her being jealous that way meant she felt it too.