Uncontrollable (7 page)

I numbly walk into the house and down the hallway.
I find myself standing in the doorway of his office staring at him as he sits
behind his desk working on his computer.

I reach up and knock on the doorframe. “What?” he
growls not even looking up from his work.

“I won’t be that person, Slade,” I whisper.

His head snaps up to mine, and his lips are thin,
baby blue eyes are hard. “What are you talking about?” he huffs out, annoyed by
my presence.

I swallow and then square my shoulders. “I won’t
allow you to treat me like someone who can’t have an opinion or a mind of her
own. If that’s why you picked me, because you thought I was weak, you were
wrong.” He could have had any woman he wanted. Hell, they still want him even
though they know he’s with me.

He tilts his head to the side, and his heated look
turns to confusion.

I continue, “I was that person when you met me but
things change. I’ve changed. If you can’t accept that, then we have a bigger
problem than Jax being back in town.” I won’t allow that fucker to show up and
make me doubt myself. If Slade doubts me, that’s a different story. Maybe I did
this to us. I sold my car for him. I moved in with him. I quit my job for him.
What else have I altered for him?

I shake my head to myself and turn around to walk
away. I hear the movement of his chair and then I feel his hand softly grab my
arm. Slade slowly turns me around. “No,” he says softly. “Don’t let him win,
Angel. This is what he wants.” He hangs his head and takes in a deep breath
before he looks back up to me.

“I heard what he said to you. He wanted to get
under your skin and have you second guessing yourself and me.”

“I won’t allow him to do that. I know who I am now,
Slade. I know what I want in life. I no longer feel alone. But I’m also not
stupid.” He frowns. “I know him being back is going to cause problems between
us, and the way you spoke of
having
me proves that.”

He shakes his head. “I won’t let that happen.”

“You were mad at me.” I point out that Jax already
has won in that department.

“I
am
,” he corrects me. “You’re mine,” he
says, taking my face in his hands. “And I’m not going apologize for that. For
the jealousy that I felt seeing you with him. Knowing that he wants you. That
he once had you. In Jax’s eyes you were there to see him.”

“I was not,” I say clenching my teeth.

“Doesn’t matter. That’s what he sees. I asked you
to stay here.”

“No. You
told
me,” I correct him.

He sighs. “If I would have asked to stay home while
I went up there, would you have?” he asks.

“No,” I say without hesitation. He goes to speak
but I continue, “But if I had gone up there with you and Tate, I would have
stayed inside with you, and I would have tried to stay where Jax wouldn’t have
seen me. I went up there because that’s where you were going. Not because Jax
was up there. I worry about you just as much as you worry about me. Why is that
so hard for you to see?”

He lets go of me and spins around running his hand
through his hair. He’s running out of patience. I can tell.

“I watched you yell at him through the glass.” He
starts to speak. “I couldn’t get out of the bar and to you fast enough. I’ve
been in that situation with you a couple of times before—where you act like
they can’t touch you—and my heart stops every fucking time.”

Just like he said, I feel the same way. I won’t
apologize for going up there. I know we are going to go head to head a lot now,
but no one will tell me what I can and can’t do. Jax made that very clear to me
tonight.

He turns and stares down at me as if waiting for me
to beg for forgiveness or say ‘I’m sorry’.

I square my shoulders and lift my chin. “I hate
that Jax is back in town, but I will not let him get between us. I hope that
you realize how much I love you and that Jax could never change that,” I assure
him.

His eyes soften a bit, and he leans down and gives
me a gentle kiss on the forehead. “Come on. It’s getting late. Let’s go to
bed.”

“Don’t you have work to do?” I say referring to
what he was doing on his computer.

He shakes his head but gives no explanation.

I know he’s still mad at me, but I still have
questions regarding Jax and Slade fighting. Jax had looked completely stunned
when he found out Slade and I were together. Yet he had said he fought my
boyfriend back before he left for Georgia. It doesn’t make any sense.

“He said you fought with him,” I say pulling my
shirt up over my head. We might as well get this over with now.

He stands across the bedroom at our tall dresser
with his back toward me. His entire body stiffens at my question. “What?” he
asks not bothering to turn around to face me.

“He said ‘your boyfriend beat the shit out of me’
after I moved my stuff out of the place we shared.” I kick off my shoes and
start to undo my jeans. “But when he saw that we were together he was
completely shocked.” Once they are off I stand there and wait for him to answer
me.

“He doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” he
finally says after a few silent minutes.

I don’t like his answer. Something about it is off.
“So you’re saying he lied?” I ask.

Slade slams the drawer to the dresser shut so hard
a couple of the pictures sitting on top fall over. He spins around and stalks
over to me, stopping right in front of me, and looks down at me with hard eyes.
“That’s what I said.”

I take a step back from him as he spits out the
words.
What is wrong with him?
I guess the pissed off mood is worse than
I thought. “Okay,” I say slowly.

It’s obvious my entire relationship with Jax was a
lie. He could have lied about the fight with Slade as well. But why would he
lie about my boyfriend beating him up? It just doesn’t make any sense.

“You sound unsure.” He cocks an eyebrow. “I was…in
Los Angeles on a case when you moved out of the place you two shared,” he says
through gritted teeth.

“No. I believe you.” I step around him and walk
into the closet. I throw my dirty clothes into the hamper before removing my
lace thong and matching bra. I turn around and come to a stop when I see Slade
blocking the doorway, now naked.

“Why are you still mad at me?” His beautiful lips
are in a thin line, and his baby blue eyes look like a hard piece of ice.

“I hate you even mentioning that fucker.” If I
didn’t believe him, his tone alone holds enough hatred for the both of us. “I
thought you would have figured that out from the argument we just had.”

I stand there and stare at him.
So, he thinks
I’m an idiot!
“He’s part of my past, and now he’s here. I have a feeling
he’s going to be popping up.” He’s just going to have to get over it.

“Popping up?”

“Yes,” I snap. “You of all people know how your
past can just pop up.” I wave my hands in the air. “I actually had pictures and
video that I had to watch.” I refer to all the pictures I got of all those
girls he slept with thanks to Jessica.

“There better not be pictures of you and him,” he
growls.

I cross my arms over my chest trying to keep from
strangling him.

“Are there?” he demands.

I give a rough laugh. “Really? I wasn’t that fucking
stupid.”

His eyes widen as I refer to not being as stupid as
him. “Just drop it, Slade. I’m tired and don’t want to fight about this.”

He walks into the closet and presses his body
against mine. “What the hell are you doing?” I ask somewhat confused. He’s mad,
and I’m getting a headache and starting to get bitchy again. This day just
needs to come to an end.

“You,” he says with a straight face.

“Trying to have your piece of me?” I shouldn’t have
said that. I should have kept my mouth shut and just walked around him, but
I’ll be damned if I’m going to stroke his ego after what has happened tonight.

His body stiffens and his baby blue eyes bore into
mine. “Excuse me?” he asks slowly. “Piece of you?”

I push him away from me. “Don’t act like you didn’t
speak of me like I was a piece of meat. I was right there when you and Jax
spoke of me as if I was nothing but something you two have fucked,” I spit out
walking out of the closet.

“Nothing?” he sneers. “I fucking love you.” He
follows after me. “And that ring on your hand proves that.” He grabs my arms
and spins me around. “But let me ask you this. Did you get jealous when you saw
those pictures of me and those other women?” he asks.

I grind my teeth together. “Answer the question,”
he demands losing his patience.

“Yes,” I yell.

He gives me a smirk, obviously proud to know my
answer. “Let me make one thing clear,” he says, and my eyebrows rise at his
words. “I hate that you were once with him, but I can’t change that. You are
mine now, and I will have you whenever I want,” he states harshly, leaving no
room for argument.

I swallow hard as my heart starts to beat faster.
Why is it that I like this side of him? I mean, let’s be serious; he would not
have that power unless I gave it to him. It’s just an illusion to boost his
ego.

“And you want me to have you. Don’t you?” His voice
is still hard, and he’s still smirking.

“I’m tired,” I argue, not wanting to answer his
question. He knows my body well enough to know that I want him.

“Are you turning me down?” He raises an eyebrow.

“I just want to go to bed. It has been a long day.”
My mind is telling me not to give it to him, but my body is screaming ‘let him
take it’.

“I’m not tired.” He reaches up and places his hands
in my hair. “But I have a feeling a good fucking will tire me out.”

“Slade,” I growl trying to take my head out of his
hold. “Not tonight.”

His hands tighten to the point of borderline pain.
I close my eyes tightly, and a whimper escapes my lips.

He pushes his erection into my stomach. “Are you
going to fight me, Angel? Because I can get into that,” he whispers, pushing my
back against the wall.

I breathe heavily as he presses the rest of his
body into mine, caging me in. “Answer me,” he demands, yanking my head back,
making it hit the wall with a thud.

I cry out and grab a hold of his wrists. I tighten
my hands around them to try and get him to ease up on my hair, but he doesn’t.

“How about we play a game?” he says with a smile on
his face.

Why am I trying to fight this? I know what this is.
He hates the fact that Jax is back. He hates it more that Jax touched me. He
needs to prove to himself that I am his. Men are just like dogs; gotta mark
their territory.

I want to feel in control, though. I want to be
able to say ‘fuck off’ because you pissed me off. My body does not belong to
you. But we both know that would be a lie, and I don’t want him to have a
single doubt in his mind when it comes to our relationship and Jax.

He leans down and his breath falls on my ear. “How
about I feel your pussy and see what she thinks? I’m sure it’s dripping and
wanting
me
to fuck it,” he hisses, making me shiver. I am so fucking wet
I can feel it running down my inner thigh.

He keeps one hand in my hair and the other slides
between my legs. He doesn’t say anything when he easily slides a finger slowly
into me.

His forehead comes to rest on mine. “Now, want to
try to tell me you don’t want it?” His voice is filled with pride. He fucking
knows he’s won.

I let out a strangled breath, but I smile on the
inside. We both know I want it, and we both know I’m about to let him have it.

“I don’t want it,” I say breathlessly as his finger
slides out and then back in.

“Your body says otherwise,” he retorts.

My body always wants him. I always want him.

“Know what I want?” He slides another finger into
me taking my breath away— making me pause before I can answer him.

“No.” I play along.

He leans down and presses his lips softly to mine.
I open my mouth to deepen the kiss, but he pulls away with a knowing smile. “I
knew it,” he says through his smile. “Want me to take it do you? I can do
that.”

Damn, I swear the guy can read my mind
sometimes.

He pulls me away from the wall. I go to walk out of
the closet and into our bedroom when he pushes me down onto the floor roughly.
My knees sting from the force, and my wrist hurts from catching myself. His
knees spread my legs wide, my knees burning as they slide along the carpet for
him to place himself between them. One hand finds its way back into my hair,
pulling my head back, and the other slides between my legs.

“I’m going to fuck you right here in the closet,”
he growls. I jump when he immediately slams his dick into me giving up on the
foreplay.

“I don’t mind taking it. Know why?”

“Why?” I ask, trying to grab a hold of the
carpet—anything to hold on to as he pulls out and slams into me.

“Because it’s fucking mine,” he growls. He pulls my
head back by my hair and hisses. “Isn’t it?”

“Yes,” I scream out, arching my back in an uncomfortable
position.

“Good girl,” he mumbles before he pulls out once
again and slams back into me. He doesn’t let up either. He slams in and out of
me in an almost animalistic way. I take one hand and reach down between our
bodies to grab his balls.

Two can play this game.

“Jesus Christ,” he hisses as his body jerks. I
start to roll them around in my hand, the wetness from my body making them
slick and easy to play with.

“Tell me. Tell me you want me,” he demands.

I almost laugh. He wanted to take it, but he needs
to know I was willing to give it. “I want you,” I pant.

He pulls back and slaps my ass. I moan as he shoves
into me again. “You can do better than that, sweetheart.”