Undefeated (Unexpected Book 5) (16 page)

“Y
ou’re not staying for dinner?” Molly, my landlady asks as I put on my leather jacket. “Did something happen between you and Mackenzie?”

I roll my eyes. She’s been trying to fish for information since Harper’s birthday. I tilt my head watching her as she guesses why I’m leaving early, or if something is going on between Mac and me.

“You have a date,” she states without hesitation.

“Did you find a woman? Or is it a guy? I’m okay if you’re gay, but that takes away the chances of
us
having a relationship.” She winks at me.

I laugh, because this flirty woman will never take any conversation seriously.

“I have to work, Molly,” I say wiggling the door handle. “Have a good one.”

There’s more to the story. Tomorrow is Halloween and I’m going trick-or-treating with Mackenzie and the kids. Harper invited me and since it’s the first time they’re celebrating since Leo—Mac’s husband—died. I accepted without hesitation. It doesn’t hurt that I adore Finn and Harper, or that Mac is great to be around.

Yes, keep saying that, Porter. She’s a good friend, great to be around . . . maybe soon I’ll accept that I’m attracted to her. Hell, I think I’m falling in love with her, just as I’m falling for her children. Stepping outside, as I turn towards their home, I spot them. Mackenzie and Finn are walking toward me. Her hazel eyes find mine. Her smile appears naturally the moment I wave at her. The beautiful creature never fails to take my breath away. It’s the tenderness in her face. Petite perfection that looks great wearing a pair of sweats or a sundress.

“Leaving so soon?” She comes to a halt right in front of me. “Thought it was your turn to cook dinner?”

“Left it in the crock-pot.” I bend to pick up Finn, who extends his little arms toward me. “Hey, sport, are you ready for tomorrow?” He nods. “Where’s Harper?”

“A playdate,” Mac informs me, her smile widens. “She’s finally making new friends. How about you, did you have dinner?”

I shake my head as she frowns and her small hand reaches my chin. Those happy eyes are now harboring worry. “The food won’t be ready for another hour.”

“Tell you what, since we’re not going to the park today,” She takes Finn in her arms and continues, “We’ll visit you and bring some food. I hate when you don’t eat.”

“You spoil me,” I whisper, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “How about we make it seven, that’s when I take my break.”

Her cheeks turn a slight shade of red. She flusters easily when I compliment her, caress her, or give her a kiss. Some days I live for those stolen moments. Things between us are progressing slowly. At least I want to believe that there’s something building between the two of us, something that if I protect it, and nurture it, might grow to be . . . everything for us.

“Seven it is then,” she mumbles.

“It’s a date.” I wink, turning around and leaving her in the middle of the driveway.

Fuck, sometimes we behave like two teenagers. But how much heat can you add to a relationship when her children are always around. Plus, I want this to be significant. And the only significant relationship I’ve had was with AJ Decker when I was a kid. My conversations with any other women went as deep as your place or mine?

I rub my face before crossing the street. I’m wondering if I’m doing the right thing. Wondering if I’m ready to start a relationship. It’s been years since I’ve been close to anyone that doesn’t have initials after their name and charge two hundred dollars an hour to listen to the story of my life. Mackenzie Brooke made me step outside the safe area I stayed in for so long. The many questions she asks, just like Harper, her little girl, have started to chip at my defenses. Their curiosity is adorable and I can’t resist either one. God knows I’ve tried several times.

Mac and her little ones are like a gift. They make me feel as if I belong to them, like if I work hard, they could belong to me some day. Fuck. I might dare to say that I’m starting to love them all. I want so much more from her. From them. Questions remain in front of me like a wall. We are recovering from a loss. Both different losses, but are we ready to take the next step? She doesn’t talk about her husband a lot, but I just don’t want to fuck up what we have.

Something about her reminds me of the Deckers. She makes me feel like I have a family. This time I don’t want to fuck things up. Lose them as I lost the Deckers. Maybe I should follow what they taught me. Like love without reserves. I also remember two things that the Deckers instilled in me—always use condoms when you have sex and try to have meaningful sex. I listened to one of them. I always used condoms. The second . . . I fucked women since I turned eighteen without giving them a second thought. None of them mattered; there wasn’t anything meaningful or significant. The only person who mattered was AJ. When I was with her, everything was different. Every caress, every kiss, and every I love you meant something to the both of us. AJ mattered. She meant the world to me. At least she did until I lost myself and became the opposite of who I wanted to be for her.

After losing AJ, I never thought that I’d feel the same for anyone; that I’d care for anyone the way I did for her. At least not until Mackenzie knocked on my door. She stood right in front of me. Long, wavy, dark-brown hair hanging on her shoulders framing her heart shaped face. Her light brown eyes staring at me with curiosity and fear. The yoga pants and tank top she wore emphasized her curves and there was something about her that pulled me to her.

Mackenzie illuminates and warms the dark places inside me. The past couple of months with her, Harp and Finn have been perfect. They’ve helped me create new memories. Having them in my life helps dull the hurt of my past. They fill a void I thought would remain vacant forever. Looking back toward the house, I decide to step up my game. Woo her. Show her that we can be great together. Trust that if I venture into a place where she’s not comfortable, she’ll let me know.

“Never?” Mac asks, while fixing my hay hat. “Why?”

“At least, I can’t remember ever doing it,” I rephrase. The period while I was with my grandparents is a black hole I choose not to investigate. Not even with hypnotherapy. “My foster family lived in the middle of nowhere, trick-or-treating was out of the question. We usually watched horror movies during Halloween.”

“Ate candy?”

“No. One of their kids was diabetic,” I explain without detail. Maybe someday I’ll share more about Gabe and Chris. Even tell her about AJ. For now, less is more.

“Shouldn’t you be a scarecrow too?” I question Harper, who finally comes downstairs dressed in a glittery dress, fairy wings, and she’s holding a wand.

“No. I’m a farm-fairy.” She touches me with her wand. “Now you’re a living scarecrow.”

“That’s the best I could come up with,” Mac sounds a little defensive, handing her a cowboy hat. “Compromising with her was close to impossible. All her friends are going to be princesses or fairies. You ready for this?”

I nod, pulling her cow ear slightly, then kissing her black nose. I wink at her, walking to the kitchen for the buckets that Molly bought for the kids.

“Not bad for a first timer,” Mac says, handing me a glass of water. “You should head home to sleep.”

“Sit.” I pat the couch. “We agreed on watching movies after the kids went to bed. Something scary. Psycho, Halloween, The Shining?”

Her eyes grow wide, her head shaking. “Scary movie?” she counterparts. “I don’t watch scary movies. Ever. Not even the classics. Find something mellow. A comedy.”

“Romantic comedy?” I ask as she frowns. “What? I happen to know a lot about movies. You don’t grow up with a movie fanatic and not learn a thing or two.”

“Your foster parents?”

I nod, remembering the first time I stepped foot on a movie set. Gabe needed a background band for a scene and he took me to fill in as the guitarist. He showed me the studio, explained the process of filming and how they add in the sound. It was a lot of shit to take in when there were so many famous people around, but after that day, I tried to pay more attention to everything he explained about his work. Fuck. Not many are as lucky as I was and I threw away so many opportunities. The biggest regret is throwing away their love.

“You should look for them,” she suggests one more time. “If I could be closer to my parents . . . I’d do it.”

“Why don’t you?”

“They live in Miami, the living cost there is higher than here,” she explains. “I don’t know. I’ve been there only a few times, but the place isn’t for me. Still, I talk to them often. At least you should try something; start a conversation.”

Sounds simple. It’s been years since they closed the doors to their home. Time has passed. Enough to know that I truly fucked up. If I hadn’t, maybe I could seek AJ’s help. She’d be able to help Finn. For him, I’d do it, break my promise to Mason and look for them.

“I know a teacher who specializes in learning disabilities. She’s a therapist too.” I change the conversation slightly from Gabe and Chris, trying to find out if Mac would be open to go with AJ. “If I can get in touch—”

“Do you think she can help Finn?” I nod. Her face brightens and I pull her into my arms, soaking up that beautiful energy she’s radiating. “I . . . I’d try anything.”

I kiss her temple. “Okay, if we can’t come up with the payment for the test, I’ll get in touch with her. I promise. Now, back to our movie night, if you’re not willing to watch a scary movie, what do you want to watch?”

“Anything but Never End,” she says, laughing. “My father loves those movies. He has the entire collection, including the last one. Mom only watches them with him because of Gabe Colt but they are bad.”

Gabe’s movies provided the background noise to our long conversation where I learned more about Mac’s childhood. What it was like being an only child, her summer road trips, and her love of science and living things. She wanted to have a farm and land where she could have a garden. After a couple of hours, we decided to watch Say Anything, but after the first ten minutes, she’s fast asleep. Carrying her to her room is the obvious thing to do, but I choose to keep her in my arms for as long as she remains asleep.

Maybe someday this won’t be a stolen moment, but real life.

Yes, I’m falling hard.