Undeniable Love - Journey of Love Book 2 (12 page)

“Um . . .”

“I forgot you needed to wrap my ankle, I was just going to jump in,” I said as I tried not to look at him.

“Ryn, how many pills did you take?”

Looking back at him, I touched the base of my neck as I tried to think of how many pills I took. “I don’t remember.”

He closed his eyes and moved closer to me. “Shit. I should have remembered to tell you to only take one. Then with the morphine they gave you last night, you’re probably feeling pretty good right now, huh?”

An idea popped into my head. I knew what I was about to do was wrong on so many levels, but I had the perfect excuse. I was high on drugs.
Kind of.

Smiling my most seductive smile, I bit down on my lower lip. “I guess you could say I’m feeling pretty good.”

Tristan’s eyes widened before he looked away and dropped to his knees. He gently lifted my ankle and began wrapping the plastic bag around it. Tying it on good, he leaned back onto his heels and smiled. “No water should get in. I’ve got it on pretty damn good.”

I went to stand and really did feel dizzy. Tristan reached out for me. “I don’t think I can stand in there alone, Tristan.”

“Ahh . . .” I couldn’t tell if the idea of being in the shower with me made him happy or scared the hell out of him.

My lower lip trembled as I asked, “Please? Everything is spinning and I feel so funny.”

“Um . . . yeah, no.”

My heart dropped the moment he said no. Nodding, I whispered, “Okay, I’ll make it work.” Slipping my panties off the best I could, I reached for a crutch. I let out a small scream when Tristan reached down and lifted me up. He began walking me into the shower and I fought like hell not to smile.

“I didn’t mean no, I wouldn’t help you. I meant . . . I don’t know what I meant, Ryn. Let’s just get you cleaned up.”

It wasn’t lost on me that Tristan had kept his sleeping pants on. A part of me was glad he did. I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done if I had seen his dick.

Oh. My. God. What is wrong with me? Get it together, Ryn.

Getting the water to the perfect temperature, Tristan moved me into the water. He had lifted my ankle and set it on the bench seat. “Does that hurt?”

Slowly shaking my head, I whispered, “No.”

I reached for the soap and washcloth, but Tristan took it from me. Before I could stop him, he had the washcloth moving over my body. My heart was slowly breaking all over again when reality hit me. He was only taking care of me because I sprained my ankle. He felt responsible for taking care of me. Maybe I should have had Dodge come down.

Closing my eyes, I tried to just enjoy the few moments I had with Tristan. He slowly moved the washcloth over my body, cleaning me so tenderly as if another part of my body would break if he went too fast. Tristan squatted down as he cleaned both my legs. Glancing up, his eyes caught mine. Since my left ankle was sitting on top of the bench I was spread open to him. Tristan ran the washcloth up my right leg and I felt my body shudder as he grew closer to the area of my body that pulsed with desire.

Swallowing hard, Tristan began to clean between my legs. Biting down on my lip, I fought like hell to not let out a moan.

Then he withdrew the washcloth and I internally screamed out no. He stood and rinsed the washcloth off before he grabbed the removable showerhead and began rinsing me off. When the warm water hit between my legs, I sucked in a breath.

“Sorry,” Tristan whispered as he quickly pulled it away. I shook my head and wanted to beg him to not stop. Hell, I wanted him to take me right there in the shower. Fuck the sprained ankle, I’d be able to push through the pain to feel Tristan buried inside of me.

Turning the water off, Tristan turned to me. “Let me get a towel and dry you off.”

Jumping out of the shower, he stripped out of his pants and wrapped a towel around himself so fast I didn’t even get to see a thing. I wanted to stomp my foot on the ground.

Then he reached in and took my foot down and helped me out of the shower. He dried off every inch of my body and then took the plastic bag off my foot. “Sit down, baby. I’ll grab you some clothes.”

Nodding my head, I sat down. As soon as he left the room, I let the tears fall. Maybe Tristan had found something with Sierra. Or maybe I had pushed him away for too long and he . . . he wasn’t interested anymore.

I thought back to the other day on the beach when I ran into him. He seemed like he wanted me back, but maybe I was reading everything wrong. So many emotions ran through my head and I couldn’t make sense of any of it. Wrapping my arms around my body, I attempted to stop my shivering.

Why did I have to be in love with Tristan still? Why?

I hadn’t heard Tristan walk back into the bathroom. When he appeared in front of me and placed both hands on the sides of my face, I began to cry harder. I wanted this. I wanted Tristan to place his hands on my face and look at me like I was his entire world . . . not Dodge. I knew it in my heart, so why was my head fighting so hard with my heart?

“Ryn, baby what’s wrong? Did you hurt yourself?”

His thumbs moved across my face to wipe the tears away. Closing my eyes, I took in the heat that was left in the path he made.

I couldn’t stop crying. I felt like a fool sitting here getting upset over a man who pushed me away from him when things got to be too serious. Opening my eyes, I couldn’t help but notice the pain in Tristan’s eyes.

Slowly nodding my head, I whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Tristan’s hand moved down to my neck as he pushed his hand through my hair and pulled me a bit closer to him. “Baby, don’t be sorry that you’re in pain. I wish like hell I could take it away.”

I wanted more than anything to tell him to kiss me and tell me that he loved me. That would be the only way he could take this pain away.

“You can’t,” I barely said as our eyes locked. Tristan leaned in as my heartbeat picked up to a ridiculous rate. He stopped just short of my lips.

Inhaling a breath, I waited.

“But know if I could, I would.”

Pulling back abruptly, he stood. “Let’s get you dressed and back into bed.”

Holding out a pair of boxer shorts and a T-shirt for me, I smiled and took them. Tristan helped me with the boxer shorts. Pulling his T-shirt over my head, I was overcome with his scent. Slowly standing, I reached for the crutch, but before I could grab it, Tristan reached down and picked me up. I snuggled my face into his chest. I wanted to tell him he didn’t have to carry me, but I also wanted to be wrapped up in his arms.

Walking back into the living room, he set me on the sofa. Smiling, he gave me a wink and said, “First you have to eat. You can’t be taking those pills on an empty stomach, Ryn.”

Tristan and I ate our tacos in silence. The meds were for sure kicking in and I felt like I was fighting to keep my eyes open. I decided to shut them for just a few seconds.

I felt the motion of moving. Opening my eyes, I saw I was in Tristan’s arms again. “Tristan, I’m so tired.”

Tristan laid me down on the giant king-size bed. Pulling the covers over me, he leaned down and kissed my forehead. “Sleep, baby.”

“Mmm . . . night, Tristan.”

Hearing him chuckle he whispered, “It’s only ten in the morning.” Smiling, I lifted my hand to touch his face, but sleep took over my body.

I dreamed of a cabin in the woods and Tristan making love to me as he whispered how much he loved me.

RYN HAD BEEN STAYING AT
my place ever since she sprained her ankle. I was trying like hell to keep my hands to myself, but each day was getting harder and harder. There were a few times I thought for sure she wanted me to kiss her, but I wasn’t going to take advantage of her being hurt to make a move on her. I wanted to show her I could take care of her and be with her without it being about sex.

Knowing Ryn was probably going stir crazy inside, I had arranged for us to eat dinner on the beach tonight.

Walking into the living room, I smiled. “You ready to head down to the beach?”

Smiling, Ryn nodded her head. “Are you sure you don’t mind me staying here? I feel bad for taking up all of your vacation.”

Shaking my head, I laughed. “Nonsense. It’s been nice having you here.”

Ryn’s eyes lit up and I felt a sense of hope. I just needed to be patient. She hadn’t talked to Dodge in over three days. At least, not that I knew of anyway. Reaching down, I picked her up.

“Tristan, you do realize I can walk.”

Chuckling, I held her tighter. “Maybe I like having you in my arms.”

Ryn looked at me with a weak smile before looking away. For a brief moment, I saw something flash across her eyes. The time we were spending together was slowly bringing us closer.

We walked up to the blanket I had put out a few minutes earlier. Setting Ryn down on the blanket, she looked at me with a surprised look on her face. “What is this?”

Giving her a look like she had just wounded me, I said, “Dinner, what does it look like?”

Shaking her head, she said, “Something I can’t picture Tristan Williams doing.”

Placing my hand over my heart, I dropped to my knees. “You wound me, Kathryn.”

Her smile instantly faded. I wasn’t sure if it was from me calling her by her full name or if something else bothered her. Pushing it away, I opened the basket that contained our dinner.

Ryn leaned over to peek into the basket. The moment I pulled out the Subway sandwich, she started laughing. “Subway, huh? Wow you put some serious effort into this dinner.”

Flashing a smile in her direction, I gave her wink. “Hey, it’s a BMT and if my memory serves me right, that is your favorite sandwich from Subway.”

Ryn’s smile dropped as she nodded her head. “Yeah, it is.”

After we ate, we talked for a bit about Ryn’s company.

“How is your business doing?” I asked.

Grinning from ear to ear she said, “It’s doing amazing. I’ve hired on two sourcing managers so I have a lot more time to take on other things, like gain more business.”

Lifting my mouth into a smile, I looked into her eyes. “I’m proud of you, Ryn. I hope you’re proud of yourself.”

“I am. I’ve worked really hard to make this company successful.”

Looking away, she shrugged. “Guess I wanted to prove to my parents I could do it.”

Ryn hardly talked about her parents. Really she never talked about her past. The most I knew was that she went to college in Florida and moved to Austin the day after she graduated. She hardly ever talked to her parents, which seemed weird to me. Both Lark and I were close to our mother and father. I couldn’t image my life without them in it.

Once the sun went down, we laid back and stared up at the endless stars. I wanted desperately to tell her how sorry I was for what happened last Christmas, but something kept holding me back. I hated that I let my fear of giving myself to Ryn one hundred percent get in the way.

I wasn’t sure if my lifestyle would be what Ryn wanted. My dream was to take over my father’s ranch someday. Then, of course, there were my sexual hobbies. I never took Ryn to my condo in Austin. A part of me was scared to death that the moment I opened the door to my playroom, Ryn would turn and never look back. Liberty on the other hand, I knew she wouldn’t get into my playroom. A part of me knew by bringing her there, I was hoping it would push her away. Unfortunately, it hadn’t worked. If anything, Liberty tried harder to show me how amazing vanilla sex was.

No thanks.

I closed my eyes and thought back to the first time I ever saw a playroom filled with sex toys. It was a BDSM fan’s dream come true.

Standing at the bar of a new club in downtown Austin, I looked around at everyone. One of my college buddies, Nick, had said we had to check the place out. I couldn’t help but notice the brunette that couldn’t stop eye fucking me. Smiling, I nodded my head. She quickly made her way over to me and sat down next to me.

Reaching her hand out, she said, “Michelle. You are?”

Taking her hand, I kissed the back of it. “Anyone you want me to be.”

Laughing, she gave me a wink. Her shoulder length hair fell in her eyes before she pushed it back behind her ears. “I knew my gut instinct about you was spot on.” Looking out on the dance floor at Nick she gestured to him. “He single?”